That’s one Redditor’s experience, who decided he’d had enough of being treated like the unpaid handyman for his wife’s family, while they barely acknowledged his existence otherwise.
More info:Reddit
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Doing favors for family is great, until you realize you’re just a tool in the toolbox
Image credits:wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One man constantly helps his wife’s family fix things around the house but is always treated like an outsider, and looked down upon for his foster care background
Image credits:Lisa Fotios / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man’s in-laws never ask him about his life, are always surprised when he is successful, but always care about the other spouses in the family
Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite always treating him poorly, the in-laws constantly ask him to fix things for them, which the man always did until recently
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The man decided to stop helping his wife’s family with their housework and was called out for it, despite them never treating him like he is family
The original poster of this story, who I’ll just call Mike, is a 34-year-old man who grew up in the foster care system, bouncing between homes and never finding his forever family.
But, when he married hiswife, Jessica, 9 years ago, he hoped to gain the warm, supportive family he’d always dreamed of. Instead, he got pretty much the opposite of a dreamfamily– the kind that smiles to your face but secretly whispers about you the second you leave the room.
Despite this frosty dynamic, Mike has spent years helping Jessica’s family. I’m talking repairs, assembly jobs, home fixes, you name it. Mike’s probably done it with his toolbox in his hand and a smile on his face.
But eventually he hit his breaking point when he spent hours fixing a stair issue at hisin-laws’house, only to find that everyone else gotfedwhile he was left hungry and ignored. Their excuse? Apparently, they didn’t think he’d want to eat after working so hard, for hours. Excuse me, what?
Mike was finally fed up and called them out on their blatant lack of courtesy, sparking a family-wide drama-fest. When his wife’s siblings demanded he fix something else a few weeks later, Mike put his foot down, declaring that he was done being their go-to handyman.
Of course, they were appalled. “Family helps family,” they said, to which Mike brilliantly replied, “When have you ever treated me like family?” Mic drop, or better yet, hammer drop.
Image credits:EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to thepros, situations like this often come from a lack of mutual respect. When one party in a relationship consistently feels undervalued, it creates resentment, which can lead to conflict.
If someone isn’t willing to treat you with respect, you’re under no obligation to meet their expectations. But it’s equally important to have a supportive partner who backs you up, which seems to be the case here with Mike’s wife.
When people start treating you like a vending machine, thinking they can just press a few buttons and they get exactly what they want, it’s time to pause and reassess. Double standards are wild that way: they’ll demand favors with the enthusiasm of a kid at a candy store but conveniently “forget” that kindness works both ways. And honestly, it’s not just frustrating, it’s downright annoying and exhausting.
Expertssay that when someone keeps asking you for favors, has no interest in you once their needs have been met but expects you to take care of them, they are taking advantage of you. In other words, if the relationship feels one-sided, it’s a clear sign that the other person, or people in some cases, areusingyou.
Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk for refusing to do favors for his wife’s family anymore, since they never treated him like a family member
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