Sibling relationships are often messy. But when one sibling blames you for their dad leaving, takes every opportunity to make your life a nightmare, and drags others into the chaos, things move beyond petty fights.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) endured years of bullying, but things took a sharp turn when her childhood best friend became romantically involved with the very person who tormented her.
More info:Reddit
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It’s one thing to have petty fights with your sibling, but it’s on a whole other level when they are toxic and weaponize their presence
Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s brother was very abusive to her and her best friend knew about it, but it didn’t stop her from dating him
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Image credits:prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author received a phone call that her brother had put her best friend in the hospital, but she wouldn’t budge, even though her best friend had been calling, too
Image credits:EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author refuses to believe that her best friend made a mistake because she knew what she was getting into when she chose to date her abusive brother
The OP described her painful childhood growing up with a brother who constantly maltreated her. With their father leaving and a distant mother, this left the OP even more vulnerable to her brother’s ill-treatment, from harsh words to initiating schoolbullying.
In the darkness, though, there was a light: her best friend. Her family soon became a refuge, offering the care and support her ownfamilyfailed to provide. However, sometimes, your safe space can crumble.
At 16, the OP’s best friend did the unthinkable. She starteddatingthe brother who had tormented her friend. To the OP, this wasn’t just betrayal — it was her best friend dismissing all the pain she’d endured, choosing to side with her bully.
When the OP confronted herfriend, she didn’t apologize. In fact, she doubled down and said the OP was being controlling of who she could date and who she couldn’t. Their friendship shattered then, and so did her ties to her friend’s family.
Fast forward to some time after. The best friend’s relationship with the brother turned toxic, landing her in the hospital. Her father reached out to warn the OP about the danger her brother posed.
Psychology Todayrefers to it as sibling maltreatment. According to them, it is often dismissed as “sibling rivalry,” but in reality, it can be a form of severe bullying and emotional abuse. Maltreatment includes “shaming, harassing, belittling, gaslighting, name-calling, threatening, insistently teasing, or excluding a victim.”
It is usually one-sided, with one sibling dominating over the other. Maltreatment tends to happen repeatedly over time, and this often leads to emotional or psychological harm, whether clearly visible or not.
The psychological hurt experienced from her brother’s maltreatment and her best friend choosing to date him was the ultimate betrayal, and understandably so. PsychMechanicsaffirmthat betrayal can be particularly damaging in friendships, and the pain felt is proportional to how much you’ve invested in the relationship.
However, they explain that the “psychological experience of betrayal” is that the hurt a person feels whenbetrayedis usually a sign to reassess the relationship and encourage the individual to redirect their emotions elsewhere.
Netizens agreed with this as they believed that the OP’sloyaltyshould lie with herself, not someone who had previously betrayed her. Others noted that the friend had enough time to apologize but only reached out when she needed help, which many felt was insincere.
In all, the majority of commenters strongly agree with the OP’s decision to cut ties with her former best friend, believing that her betrayal was unforgivable.
What would you have done if you were in the OP’s position? Would you have forgiven or cut ties? Please, let us know your thoughts!
Netizens believe that the friend knowingly chose to date an abuser and should face the consequences of her actions
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