Sometimes you meet a person and know that you are gonna end up with them, while other times, it might take you years to realize it. Each person, however, has their own views about marriage, and while some are only too enthusiastic to get married, some flat-out refuse.
Just like the original poster’s (OP)partner—whom she has been with for the past 5 years—who refuses to give any commitment, whether it be marriage or anything financial. In fact, he also states that he would never leave her any inheritance if he passed away, even though she pays his mortgage!
More info:Mumsnet
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Image credits:Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster has been with her partner for 5 years but he simply refuses to marry her or make any commitment
Image credits:Everythingwillbeokk
Image credits:Abet Llacer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He even refuses to buy a house with her, as he only wants his own children to benefit from his estate if he passes away
Image credits:Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Even though the poster pays his mortgage, he refuses to leave her any inheritance in the future, which really annoys her
When he coldly admitted that he would rather let her go homeless than give anything to her, or even commit to her, she put her foot down
In today’s story, our protagonist laments about her partner of 5 years who simply refuses to marry her as he only wanted to marry once, which didn’t work out. He even refuses to make any financial commitment to her, like buying a house, as he wants his estate to befall just hiskidswhen he passes away.
To understand more about commitment issues among couples,Bored Pandagot in touch withEden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She spoke about how inheritance concern is one reason that stands out with the guy in the story as he fears that shared commitments could dilute what he leaves behind.
“He might not see the relationship progressing toward traditional markers like marriage or shared financial investments. Shared commitments, especially involving property or finances, can create legal complexities he wishes to avoid,” she added.
The poster also informs us that she helps him with his mortgage,fundstheir trips, does all the housework, and ensures he returns home to a clean house as she works from home. In return, he said that he would not leave her anything when he passed away, even if it might make her homeless, but give his entire inheritance to his kids.
Our expert also elaborated that differences in views on commitment can significantly impact the stability and satisfaction of arelationshipin various ways, including emotional, practical, and relational dynamics. She claimed that this might spur a person into taking drastic measures.
Image credits:Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This is evident as we see the poster giving an ultimatum to her partner, which many people online said was not a good idea. Despite theultimatum, she found out how little the guy cared about her as he prioritized his kids and finances over her.
Prof. Lobo stressed that feeling secondary to a partner’s children or financial priorities can have a profound impact on a person, particularly in a blended family or relationship with complex financial dynamics. She noted that these effects often stem from feelings of exclusion, inequity, or unmet emotional needs.
The poster also told us that she had had enough and decided to leave, but as she doesn’t have a place of her own yet, she is staying with him for a few days until she finds one. As opposed to his behavior, she says that if he ever passed away, she would have divided the fortune equally amongst both their children.
Although they agreed with OP regarding the financial part, they said that she shouldn’t have expected him to change when he had decided beforehand. They felt that it was unreasonable of her to give him an ultimatum over it.
Folks felt that he was very selfish, so they advised her to stop paying his mortgage, while some even told her to leave him
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