There’s an increasing trend in married or long-term, committedcoupleschoosing to live in separate homes. It’s become known as the “live apart together” (LAT) relationship. There are various reasons couples choose to go this route. Different sleep schedules, a desire for solitude or autonomy, and of course, differing levels of cleanliness and hygiene. When we read about some of the irritating, infuriating and sometimes filthy things some partners do, we really aren’t too surprised.People have been sharing the highly annoying bad habits of their boyfriends and husbands. And we must take our hats off to them for their saintly patience. From throwing trash directly into the pantry next to perfectly good food, to storing dozens of used, empty water bottles under the bed, it seems some men could enter a special rally for driving their other halves up the wall. If there ever were such a thing.Bored Pandahas compiled a list of some of the worst things guys have done to annoy their significant others. Brace yourself, and be warned, a few might have you wanting to delete all dating apps in lieu of staying single forever. Don’t miss our super interesting chat withSharon Hyman, the GOAT of LAT. She’s the founder of the Facebook group “Apartners (Living Apart Together)” and is currently working on afilmthat delves into the lives of couples who choose to love each other forever while living in separate homes.This post may includeaffiliate links.
There’s an increasing trend in married or long-term, committedcoupleschoosing to live in separate homes. It’s become known as the “live apart together” (LAT) relationship. There are various reasons couples choose to go this route. Different sleep schedules, a desire for solitude or autonomy, and of course, differing levels of cleanliness and hygiene. When we read about some of the irritating, infuriating and sometimes filthy things some partners do, we really aren’t too surprised.
People have been sharing the highly annoying bad habits of their boyfriends and husbands. And we must take our hats off to them for their saintly patience. From throwing trash directly into the pantry next to perfectly good food, to storing dozens of used, empty water bottles under the bed, it seems some men could enter a special rally for driving their other halves up the wall. If there ever were such a thing.
Bored Pandahas compiled a list of some of the worst things guys have done to annoy their significant others. Brace yourself, and be warned, a few might have you wanting to delete all dating apps in lieu of staying single forever. Don’t miss our super interesting chat withSharon Hyman, the GOAT of LAT. She’s the founder of the Facebook group “Apartners (Living Apart Together)” and is currently working on afilmthat delves into the lives of couples who choose to love each other forever while living in separate homes.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Anestimated10 percent of couples in Western Europe, theUnited States, Canada,New Zealand, and Australia live apart. And we aren’t talkinglong-distancerelationshipsbecause of careers, family commitments or finances. These are couples that could live under the same roof but choose not to.The increasing trend is known as the “live apart together” (LAT) relationship. And a quick scroll through some of the pics on this list is making the idea super appealing… to me, at least.Couples are choosing the LAT way of life for different reasons: sleep schedules, levels of cleanliness, a desire for solitude and autonomy, and sometimes as a last resort to save their relationship.Sharon Hymancalls these independent couples “apartners” - committed partners who live apart. And she is half of one. The Montreal filmmaker has lived separately from her long-term partner David for more than 25 years.She’s even made a documentary calledApartners: Living Happily Ever After Apartand has founded aninternational groupfor people in LAT relationships. One could even argue she’s the GOAT of LAT. So we were thrilled when she agreed to chat with us about “apartnerships.”
Anestimated10 percent of couples in Western Europe, theUnited States, Canada,New Zealand, and Australia live apart. And we aren’t talkinglong-distancerelationshipsbecause of careers, family commitments or finances. These are couples that could live under the same roof but choose not to.
The increasing trend is known as the “live apart together” (LAT) relationship. And a quick scroll through some of the pics on this list is making the idea super appealing… to me, at least.
Couples are choosing the LAT way of life for different reasons: sleep schedules, levels of cleanliness, a desire for solitude and autonomy, and sometimes as a last resort to save their relationship.
Sharon Hymancalls these independent couples “apartners” - committed partners who live apart. And she is half of one. The Montreal filmmaker has lived separately from her long-term partner David for more than 25 years.
She’s even made a documentary calledApartners: Living Happily Ever After Apartand has founded aninternational groupfor people in LAT relationships. One could even argue she’s the GOAT of LAT. So we were thrilled when she agreed to chat with us about “apartnerships.”
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Ok, I (28f) went over to my boyfriend’s (25m) house for the first time (been dating about a month), and I had somehow never noticed his pillow situation before. When I noticed, I made a comment about how long he’s had the pillows and apparently he’s been using them since he was a kid.So, I asked him if he had any other pillows and he said he just had the pillow on the left of the first picture, but that his cat usually sleeps on it. I said I don’t really want to sleep on those pillows, and id prefer to sleep at my own place (with clean pillows).His response? He waited for a minute and then said he would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together, but that if I needed to go, that he understood.I ended up going home and spending the night at my own house instead. I asked if I could bring my own pillows and gently suggested he get rid of his. He said it was totally fine for me to bring a pillow, but that he wouldn’t get rid of his, as they are ‘sentimental’.Thoughts? I feel like I can’t even kiss him or anything while we’re sleeping because I don’t want him to get his gross pillowness all over me and my clean pillows.
“It quickly became clear to us that we wanted to spend our lives together, so his short-term contract became a forever commitment and he settled permanently in Montreal. But we still remained living 15 minutes apart.”
Hyman says thecoupleconsidered moving in together early in their relationship but realized that living apart actually worked best for them. “We feel that we truly have the best of both worlds - a deeply loving and committed relationship, companionship and love, as well as the time and space apart that we both appreciate and cherish,” she said.
They say there’s more than one right way to do something, but this is just plain wrong.
Hyman says living apart won’t work for all couples but people should know that it is an option and not allrelationshipsneed to fit into a traditional mold. “So many people feel that they must follow the same trajectory for love that is promoted in Hollywood movies and romance novels - namely, you meet, you fall in love and you are expected to move in together. But why? For many, they are looking for a companion and partner, not a roommate. And so many relationships suffer because they feel this pressure to cohabitate, when really living apart is working best for them,” she explained.“Not every couple is meant to live apart … Nor is every couple suited to living together,” says Hyman. Those who choose the LAT lifestyle do so for different reasons. “They could have different work schedules, different temperaments, different levels of cleanliness, children from prior relationships, they are taking care of elderly parents, working in different states, or just really need complete silence and solitude for part of the time,” says Hyman, adding that what’s most important is finding what works best for you as a couple.
Hyman says living apart won’t work for all couples but people should know that it is an option and not allrelationshipsneed to fit into a traditional mold. “So many people feel that they must follow the same trajectory for love that is promoted in Hollywood movies and romance novels - namely, you meet, you fall in love and you are expected to move in together. But why? For many, they are looking for a companion and partner, not a roommate. And so many relationships suffer because they feel this pressure to cohabitate, when really living apart is working best for them,” she explained.
“Not every couple is meant to live apart … Nor is every couple suited to living together,” says Hyman. Those who choose the LAT lifestyle do so for different reasons. “They could have different work schedules, different temperaments, different levels of cleanliness, children from prior relationships, they are taking care of elderly parents, working in different states, or just really need complete silence and solitude for part of the time,” says Hyman, adding that what’s most important is finding what works best for you as a couple.
There are an array of benefits to living apart, says Hyman. One is that it allows you to retain your autonomy while being fully committed to a life partner. “It offers you the freedom to pursue your own goals and thus become a happier and more fulfilled person, which can only help to improve any relationship,” the expert told Bored Panda. “Happier people make happier partners. Or apartners.“Hyman says LAT also allows you the ability to devote more time and energy tootherrelationships, be it family,community, volunteering, or being a good friend, neighbor and citizen.“We gain so much from having a diversity of relationships,” she explains. “I feel that when we expect everything from one person, namely our significant other, it is putting way too much pressure on one relationship, which often leads to its demise. No one person can provide for all of our needs. No one can be your ‘everything,’ except you.”
There are an array of benefits to living apart, says Hyman. One is that it allows you to retain your autonomy while being fully committed to a life partner. “It offers you the freedom to pursue your own goals and thus become a happier and more fulfilled person, which can only help to improve any relationship,” the expert told Bored Panda. “Happier people make happier partners. Or apartners.”
Hyman says LAT also allows you the ability to devote more time and energy tootherrelationships, be it family,community, volunteering, or being a good friend, neighbor and citizen.
“We gain so much from having a diversity of relationships,” she explains. “I feel that when we expect everything from one person, namely our significant other, it is putting way too much pressure on one relationship, which often leads to its demise. No one person can provide for all of our needs. No one can be your ‘everything,’ except you.”
Hyman says apartnerships are no different to any committed, lifelongrelationships. They just happen to operate from two separate addresses. She says she’s often had her relationship compared to a “friends with benefits” situation(ship).“How many casual daters are on one another’s wills and hold their powers of attorney in case of illness or death?” she asks. “Apartners are just as devoted to one another as cohabitators. It is a lifetime deal. We are there for one another in sickness andhealth, through all the ups and downs and highs and lows that life throws our way.”
Hyman says apartnerships are no different to any committed, lifelongrelationships. They just happen to operate from two separate addresses. She says she’s often had her relationship compared to a “friends with benefits” situation(ship).
“How many casual daters are on one another’s wills and hold their powers of attorney in case of illness or death?” she asks. “Apartners are just as devoted to one another as cohabitators. It is a lifetime deal. We are there for one another in sickness andhealth, through all the ups and downs and highs and lows that life throws our way.”
The LAT expert believes that creating physical space can actually bring partners closer together. And help save your sanity. “When you remove the petty things that couples often argue about: chores (whose turn it is to do the dishes, ‘pick up your socks off the floor!') and financial issues (‘why did you spend money on this or that’), etc., then you are left with what is really important in a relationship - being there for one another, fully present and caring and loving in sickness and inhealth,” says Hyman.“When we are together it is intentional and precious,” she adds. “And when we are apart we can savor missing one another, an underrated emotion that can keep passion and love alive because we will always appreciate one another and never take each other for granted.“Time and space definitely can enhance a relationship, she told Bored Panda, adding that it allows each partner to recharge their batteries so that they have more energy and presence of mind when they are together.
The LAT expert believes that creating physical space can actually bring partners closer together. And help save your sanity. “When you remove the petty things that couples often argue about: chores (whose turn it is to do the dishes, ‘pick up your socks off the floor!') and financial issues (‘why did you spend money on this or that’), etc., then you are left with what is really important in a relationship - being there for one another, fully present and caring and loving in sickness and inhealth,” says Hyman.
“When we are together it is intentional and precious,” she adds. “And when we are apart we can savor missing one another, an underrated emotion that can keep passion and love alive because we will always appreciate one another and never take each other for granted.”
Time and space definitely can enhance a relationship, she told Bored Panda, adding that it allows each partner to recharge their batteries so that they have more energy and presence of mind when they are together.
My husband said we would eat the tiramisu together after our 17 months goes to bed. Our LO was crying so I went to calm her down. Came back to him playing video game and ate almost all of the tiramisu slice. Smh.
Living apart doesn’t mean couples won’t argue now and again. But it does offer both partners the chance to cool off when arguments do occur, so they can come back together in a healthier and more constructive manner. Some couples have even turned to LAT as a way to save their crumblingrelationships.“I run agroupfor LATs with thousands of members from all over the world, and so many of them share that living apart saved their marriages,” Hyman told Bored Panda. “Others say that had they known this were an option, maybe they wouldn’t be divorced now from their prior relationships. Just because people love and care for one another, does not mean that they are compatible in the realm of cohabitation. And you do not have to share a physical space to share an emotional and spiritual one.”
Living apart doesn’t mean couples won’t argue now and again. But it does offer both partners the chance to cool off when arguments do occur, so they can come back together in a healthier and more constructive manner. Some couples have even turned to LAT as a way to save their crumblingrelationships.
“I run agroupfor LATs with thousands of members from all over the world, and so many of them share that living apart saved their marriages,” Hyman told Bored Panda. “Others say that had they known this were an option, maybe they wouldn’t be divorced now from their prior relationships. Just because people love and care for one another, does not mean that they are compatible in the realm of cohabitation. And you do not have to share a physical space to share an emotional and spiritual one.”
Some believe LAT is only for the wealthy. This is not true, says Hyman. “People never say this about single, divorced or widowed people, who also live alone. There are definitely advantages to pooling finances and being able to live together if it is feasible and works for you. But for many, living together just is not the best option,” she explained.LAT is also not the easy way out, warns the expert. “Relationshipsare hard, and require a lot of work, whether living together or apart. What living apart does offer is the chance to more fully work on yourself and your issues, and the same for your significant other, so that together you are not two halves of a whole but rather a union of two strong and independent individuals who are committed to supporting, loving and going through life with one another as a united front.”
Some believe LAT is only for the wealthy. This is not true, says Hyman. “People never say this about single, divorced or widowed people, who also live alone. There are definitely advantages to pooling finances and being able to live together if it is feasible and works for you. But for many, living together just is not the best option,” she explained.
LAT is also not the easy way out, warns the expert. “Relationshipsare hard, and require a lot of work, whether living together or apart. What living apart does offer is the chance to more fully work on yourself and your issues, and the same for your significant other, so that together you are not two halves of a whole but rather a union of two strong and independent individuals who are committed to supporting, loving and going through life with one another as a united front.”
Whom I love so much drives me insane with the trash bin. I appreciate him taking the garbage, but he never puts the bag in when he does. It isn’t garbage day, so I wasn’t anticipating the empty bin and tossed coffee grounds in before noticing. Yes, I’ve talked to him about it. Yes, we both deal with the garbage. He does so much for the home, he just tends to not finish this particular job. I have resigned myself to living with this one character flaw until I die.
I asked my bf if he had made any plans for Valentine’s day and he told me he would take me out for dinner….well now we’re not even doing that, so he got me chocolate to make up for it. Then proceeded to eat it all. No card, no flowers….literally no effort at all.
We asked the expert how often LAT couples should see eachother. “It really depends on the couple and their life circumstances,” she replied. “When David and I first met, we had opposite work schedules and only saw one another on the weekends. Now that he is retired, we see each other almost every day.““People in our LAT group often have children from priorrelationships, so that impacts how often they can see one another as well,” adds Hyman. “I always say apartnering is a fluid thing that changes along with life circumstances. The key is to find what works best for you and your apartner at any given time in your lives, regardless of the norms that society dictates.”
We asked the expert how often LAT couples should see eachother. “It really depends on the couple and their life circumstances,” she replied. “When David and I first met, we had opposite work schedules and only saw one another on the weekends. Now that he is retired, we see each other almost every day.”
“People in our LAT group often have children from priorrelationships, so that impacts how often they can see one another as well,” adds Hyman. “I always say apartnering is a fluid thing that changes along with life circumstances. The key is to find what works best for you and your apartner at any given time in your lives, regardless of the norms that society dictates.”
I’ve learned I have to be super specific when I ask him to do things. I always forget! Love him and all of his imperfections.
As we mentioned earlier, Hyman is working on a film about LAT. We’re curious to learn a bit more about it before we let her go. “Apartners: Living Happily Ever Apartis currently in production,” she tells us.“My film mentor told me several years ago that my relationship was so interesting that I really should direct a film about it. I found that strange - what is so special about our relationship, I wondered. But then I started to research the topic of ‘living apart together’ couples and lo and behold, I discovered that nearly one in ten couples in Canada and the U.S. live like this!”
As we mentioned earlier, Hyman is working on a film about LAT. We’re curious to learn a bit more about it before we let her go. “Apartners: Living Happily Ever Apartis currently in production,” she tells us.
“My film mentor told me several years ago that my relationship was so interesting that I really should direct a film about it. I found that strange - what is so special about our relationship, I wondered. But then I started to research the topic of ‘living apart together’ couples and lo and behold, I discovered that nearly one in ten couples in Canada and the U.S. live like this!”
Hyman says despite so many couples living the LAT lifestyle, it’s hardly ever spoken about. She believes this is often because of the stigma and judgment attached to this type of arrangement.“So I set out to direct a personal film that would normalize the experience of LAT and also show people that is it a healthy and viable option forrelationships,” she told Bored Panda. “At that time I also founded a Facebook group, which grew from a handful of people to now numbering in the thousands, with members from every walk of life and every corner of the world. And almost everyone who joins says the same thing - namely, we thought we were the only ones living like this! It is a wonderful coming out of sorts of people sharing how living apart from their mates has truly worked for them and for their families.“Hyman says the film will center around her personallove storywith her apartner of 25 years but will also feature many of the people in the international LAT group she founded.“We are leading a social revolution of sorts and in the process, I know we are saving relationships and families,” she beams. If you’d like to join the community, you can click onthislink.
Hyman says despite so many couples living the LAT lifestyle, it’s hardly ever spoken about. She believes this is often because of the stigma and judgment attached to this type of arrangement.
“So I set out to direct a personal film that would normalize the experience of LAT and also show people that is it a healthy and viable option forrelationships,” she told Bored Panda. “At that time I also founded a Facebook group, which grew from a handful of people to now numbering in the thousands, with members from every walk of life and every corner of the world. And almost everyone who joins says the same thing - namely, we thought we were the only ones living like this! It is a wonderful coming out of sorts of people sharing how living apart from their mates has truly worked for them and for their families.”
Hyman says the film will center around her personallove storywith her apartner of 25 years but will also feature many of the people in the international LAT group she founded.
“We are leading a social revolution of sorts and in the process, I know we are saving relationships and families,” she beams. If you’d like to join the community, you can click onthislink.
In late June I sprouted my own pumpkin seeds with my 3yr old son. We’ve been so excited to see the pumpkin plant grow and thrive. My husband decided to mow the lawn yesterday, along with the only fruitful part of our plant. He thought the trellising vines with buds were “overgrowth”.
We’ve been having issues with our neighbors keeping their trash properly contained andwe’rethe ones that have to clean up after them. This was my husband’s solution to that problem. However, they were too contained for the trash men to take. We live in a major city and they have thousands of houses to get to. I’m on their side. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
As I said, my husband insists on doing his own laundry even though laundry day is Friday, he wants it done Thursday and I work Thursday, so I start my normal Friday 7 loads and open the dryer to this. I’ve used rubbing alcohol which is turning the paper towel blue at least but the stains remain on the dryer plus I have doubts of running this thing with all that alcohol on there it’ll explode. I need help! I attempted a small bit of oven cleaner that did nothing, also goo gone did nothing. I guess I’ll be going to a laundromat until then.
This is the lotion rubbed in… He uses this amount of hand lotion very frequently. When he rubs his hands together it sounds like a bad p***o while I’m trying to fall asleep.
i was going to cry but he said he’s going to buy me a new one this week and treat me to dinner so i managed to suck my tears back lol. luckily the joycons weren’t attached so that’s a bonus.
…then walked into the kitchen just as my husband was bounding in whispering “oh st oh st!” He had preheated the oven for a nice meal of leftover baked spaghetti and forgot the high chair tray was in there.Currently waving dish towels in the air to keep the smoke alarm from waking the toddler. Oh, and ordering in. Probably should be saving money though, since we have to get a new oven now? No idea how to even begin cleaning this…
Just like the title says he decided to pressure washer the algea off the screens….he was not accurate….they all look like that….yes it’s that noticeable…no he sees nothing wrong.
Title says it all really. I grabbed a new toothbrush last week. My husband got a new one this morning after opening a new pack and grabbed the same color.
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He said “I put it in the ham it wasn’t ready yet”. I had no idea he meant he left it in there.
Sorry for the weird camera angle, but I’m trying to block out the personal photos. Dirty socks on the coffee table and old jerkey wrapper sitting literally on the table above the trash can.
My husband uses this clip to hold up his favorite sweat pants because the elastic is so worn out on them. He won’t buy himself a new pair (nor will he let me buy them for him). Btw, it’s not a money issue at all; We have more than enough to buy a pair of sweatpants.
I find it almost every morning on top of his laptop that sits on this table. He’s a flossing fanatic which is great, but this is gross.
How do I get him to clean up after himself? He sleeps on his stupid cot after awhile of him not cleaning up. We live in a 1 bedroom so why does he trash it so much all the time. I’m SO tired of cleaning up after him all the time. The first image is my side of the bathroom counter. I usually keep it cleaner
I’m so thankful my boyfriend can cook and it’s not just up to me. I bought this thing of smoked paprika LAST week and I wake up today and it’s literally all gone. These things are $5 a pop after tax!I use two tablespoons MAX and that’s only if I’m cooking a dish for like 5 people. usually it’s just a few shakes of food just for us!I love paprika and some spice in my food, but genuinely I think I would shrivel up and pass away from the paprika overload if I used an entire one of these things in a week. he’s only cooked three or four times since I bought it, so I’m not over-exaggerating at all when I say he is dumping this stuff in his meals.Am I overreacting if I make him buy me a replacement, as well as making him buy his own giant container of smoked paprika for him exclusively?
What he brought back had things I can’t drink. May break up with him dunno yet.
I’m married to a monster. Poor guy is trying g to cut down on sugar. Not sure how much this helps.
I don’t know how to tell him that there is a place in h*ll for such people.
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