You wouldn’t be wrong to say that more personalized family traditions surrounding marriage are a common and very normal sight in many cultures.
It’s okay to have family traditions, as long as they carry meaning, pass down values and build identity
Image credits:Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
However, when a tradition is quite literally watching someone partake in somebusiness time, then it’s not really a tradition
Image credits:LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Choice_Evidence1983
Image credits:Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Needless to say, it didn’t take long for the author of the post’s wedding to be called off because of traditions likethat
A woman on Reddit was at a bit of a loss when she found out that the man she was going to marry belongs to a family with a very weird tradition. Apparently, there’s a tradition called “bedding” in which, essentially, the family of the newlyweds watch them do it like on the Discovery channel.
Yeah, that’s weird.
Well, onceithit the fan and the wedding ended up being called off, OP found out it was just a ruse to get to watch married women being coerced into sexual activities that would leave them scarred for life.
And OP was not alone in thinking that. Many confirmed that it’s not really a thing among Scottish people—OP’s fiance was apparently Scottish. Some were afraid to think how the other wives had to go through it—and hope OP told them about the truth.
Whatever the case, NTA across the board, no two ways about it.
Roughly 2 months later, the author of the original post provided an update confirming that the fiance is now anex
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
It is not to say family traditions are all bad as there are benefits to them—but also defining criteria
Family traditionsare activities, gifts, stories or songs that are continued through a family’s life together and passed down from generation to generation.
For a tradition to be considereda tradition, it has to have several defining characteristics. Traditions have to be meaningful exercises that are aimed at fostering a connection to loved ones and providing a sense of unity and stability.
Forcing someone into a tradition—whether they don’t want to or their beliefs are different—is not in the true spirit of what it means to uphold a tradition. By proxy, coercion goes against the definition of tradition. It’s also an indicator that traditions need to be adapted or changed altogether so that togetherness can continue without making someone awkward, grossed out or otherwise uncomfortable.
For context, yes,beddingis definitely a legit custom, in the sense that it exists. However, ew. Also, it goes against how it doesn’t really create togetherness if it’s forced.
Well, whatever the case, what are your thoughts on any of this? What are your thoughts of two individuals minding their own bees’ wax on a mattress while the family is within direct line of sight? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
Folks online were still grossed out, siding with the woman and sharing their takes on the matter
Thanks! Check out the results:Gabija Saveiskyte
Monika Pašukonytė
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