The author of today’s story is one of them. Hisin-lawsjudged him for not having ample financial resources to support his spouse and daughter. After his new business boomed, his wife’sfamilyexpected him to shoulder their luxurious expenses.
The man didn’t feel good about the situation andstoppedgiving monetary support to his in-laws. However, he wonders if he is being too harsh for doing so.
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Some people deal with judgmental, unsupportive in-laws
Image credits:Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A man endured verbal attacks from his wife’s family because he didn’t have ample financial resources
Image credits:Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When his new business venture boomed, his in-laws expected him to pay for their luxurious expenses
Image credits:Ave Calvar / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, he wants to cut off all financial support
Image credits:UXEGbm7tMy
Judgmental behavior stems from a scarcity mindset
Image credits:Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the author endured such behavior from his in-laws, especially at a difficult time. According to Washington D.C.-based psychologistDr. Dana Harron, it’s usually common among people who have been deprived of unconditional love.
As a result, they develop a scarcity mindset, feeling that everything, including beauty, achievement, and success, is finite.
“When someone else has something, it seems like something that they are deprived of,” Dr. Harronexplained. “The quantities are limited, and there is no such thing as baking a bigger pie.”
Casting judgment may also result from an internal disagreement with someone’s way of life. As University of Edinburgh psychology lecturerAdam MooretellsVox,“The role that automatic judgment plays is social signaling, social norm reinforcing.”
In this story, the explanations above make sense as the author says his wife’s family came from a “fairly poor environment.” While he didn’t delve into specifics, it’s possible that his in-laws may not have the same approach to business and earning money, causing them tobelittle his efforts.
However, this doesn’t change the fact that such actions disrupt family dynamics. Professor and communications coachPreston Ni, MSBA, says it’s mainly about setting boundaries when dealing with people who challenge or criticize your life choices.
“Not every difficult person is worth grappling with. Your time is important, and your peace of mind a priority,” Nistated, emphasizing that boundary setting must be done diplomatically.
That author endured insults and abusive treatment from his in-laws, who do not seem to care about him. Keeping distance may be his best option, including refusing financial support if it gives himinternal peace.
Most readers sided with him, with some congratulating him for his success
But there were a few who thought he should “share his wealth”
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