Having anewbornis one of the most beautiful yet exhausting experiences in the world. Finally, this tiny human that you’ve been waiting 9 months for has arrived, and they’re the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. But along with all of the cuteness comes screaming, crying and long nights full of more changing diapers and feeding than actual sleep.
So one father who’s had enough of feeling tired decided that he deserves to sleep in during some weekend mornings. However, the internet swiftly gave him a reality check. Below, you’ll find the story that this dadsharedon the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as a conversation with Giles Alexander, author of the parenting bookYou the Daddy.
Being a new parent is amazing yet exhausting
Image credits:Felipe Salgado / unsplash (not the actual photo)
So when this dad requested some mornings off to sleep in, the internet was quick to give him a reality check
Image credits:Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Sam Pak / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits:tireddad667
“Nothing can prepare you for the insane levels of bleary-eyed exhaustion you’ll experience during those first few weeks and months of parenthood”
To learn more about what it’s like to be a new parent, we reached out to Giles Alexander, father,bloggerand author ofYou the Daddy: The Hands-On Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and the Early Years of Fatherhood. Giles was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand explain just how challenging it can be to get any sleep when you have a newborn.
“Nothing can prepare you for the insane levels of bleary-eyed exhaustion you’ll experience during those first few weeks and months ofparenthood,” the father shared. “It’s no coincidence thatsleep deprivationis used as a form of torture, because that’s exactly what it feels like. Sleep, or your lack of it, will consume most of your daily thoughts and conversations. Everyone you see will ask if you’re getting any. And you’ll compete with your partner over who’s had less of it (if she’s breastfeeding, she’ll win this argument every time).”
Even getting children to fall asleep can be a challenge, as almost a third of parents admitted they’ve driven their babies around in the car in an attempt to lull them to sleep.The Bumpalso reports that bedtime turns into a source of stress for 88% of new parents, and 77% start to feel anxiety as nighttime approaches and they begin to worry if it will be a sleepless night.
Image credits:Isabella Fischer / unsplash (not the actual photo)
“It’s unreasonable to expect the weight of parental responsibility to land solely on a mother’s shoulders”
The parenting expert also touched on why it’s so important for parents to equally split their duties. “Parenting really is one of the toughest, least appreciated, and most physically and mentally exhausting jobs around,” he told Bored Panda. “And yet, society still massively undervalues the huge amount of work it takes to raise the next generation. Given that gender inequality at work is still commonplace, this often leads to the bulk of the parenting and domestic load being heavily biased against new mums, who end up taking on the lion’s share.”
“As modern fathers, we shouldn’t just accept this as the status quo,” Giles says. “It’s unreasonable to expect the weight of parental responsibility to land solely on a mother’s shoulders. Add to this all the other daily tasks we all need to complete just to get through the day – the laundry, shopping, cleaning, cooking and general life admin – and it’s even more unrealistic to expect one person to do it all alone. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day.”
“Just because one parent works outside of the home and receives a salary doesn’t mean the parent at home should work 24/7”
Image credits:Mikael Stenberg / unsplash (not the actual photo)
“And don’t expect praise or a thank you from your partner for being hands-on. She will have gone the whole day at home without any recognition for her hard work, so praising you might not be front of mind. Show her gratitude daily, and you’re more likely to get it back,” the father says.
The challenges of parenting also make it imperative for couples to prioritize their relationship. “It doesn’t matter how close-knit you are as a couple; the pressures of family life will test the limits of any relationship,” Giles warns. “Parenting is hard work. Arguments, petty irritations, and heated conversations are to be expected. It’s how you react to them in the moment and reconnect afterwards, that’s most important.”
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