When we think about important things to share in a marriage, trust is such an obvious answer that most folks would move right past it. How can you be in a marriage or even a relationship with someone you don’t trust? But, unfortunately, some people end up revealing their true colors too late.
A wedding seems like one of the least appropriate places for a prank
Image credits:Kadyn Pierce (not the actual photo)
But one woman, despite explicitly telling him no, still ended up pranked at her own wedding
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Constant-Nebula-1982
Pulling a prank at a wedding is a monumentally blockheaded idea
Wedding pranks are really a match made in hell. Unless everyone involved is interested, it would just be in bad taste. Plus, if everyone involved knows and consents, it’s not much of a prank in the first place. While it is the bride and groom’s wedding, if there are a lot of family and friends present, it could make the entire thing awkward.
Even worse, a marriage is still a legal procedure with its own rules and regulations. For example, in one notorious case, a bride jokingly said “no”during her vowsand was shocked when the priest then called off the whole thing. While it was obviously a joke, the person performing the wedding was legally required to cancel it then and there.
In OP’s case, Jake perhaps was “smart” enough not to disrupt the literal ceremony, but he still managed to ruin the wedding photos which are, for many people, a very, very important part of the entire event. Even more importantly, he was explicitly told not to do this. Besides being a violation of consent and trust, it also shows that his prank would not be as surprising as he perhaps might have wished.
Image credits:Nathan Cowley (not the actual photo)
There is little evidence that Jake actually understood what he did wrong
While Jake did apologize, it does appear that, without Frank’s intervention, he would have simply gone about his day like nothing had happened. It’s not hard to imagine that this was hardly a sincere apology, but a method to get his angry brother off his back. Either way, OP deserved a lot better, particularly when she explicitly told him not to do this.
This sort of breach in trust, as OP herself notes, is extreme enough to rethink or even call off the entire relationship. While normally, a person might apologize for bad behavior and promise not to do it again, if you no longer trust the person, how can you believe that they are telling you the truth? After all, they might just be saying it in an attempt to limit your anger or fix what they just broke.
Sometimes, a relationship moves from a normal, trusting relationship toa “low-trust” relationship. This is the result of one of the people in the couple no longer trusting their partner. They will start to notice exclusively the things they dislike and see everything else through thefilter of their distrust. Even positive acts will be seen as an attempt to “regain” their trust. As one can imagine, this does not make for a healthy relationship.
Image credits:Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)
OP is lucky she found out this “early”
So perhaps it’s for the best that OP leaves this moron behind. Both for herself, if the relationship feels unixable, and perhaps even for Jake. This could be the wake-up call he needs to get his own life together. As far as we can tell, from Frank’s description, Jake has always been like this, a trait that very literally backfired on him.
Hopefully, OP can get her life together and move on from this failed relationship. In a sense, it’s still for the best that Jake showed his true colors now, when splitting up the marriage is still easy, or at least as splitting any marriage might be. Finding out that your husband can’t be trusted a few years down the road would be a lot worse.
Image credits:Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Readers gave OP their best wishes and she answered some questions
Others shared their shock at Jake’s behavior
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