Winning a lottery can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get yourfinances in order. If you’re in a tough spot money-wise, a lucky ticket might help you turn your life around. Granted, you have to be the owner of the ticket, not just the one who bought it.
Bored Pandaasked Certified Financial Therapist and Marriage and Family TherapistNathan Astlefor his professional opinion, and he was kind enough to answer some questions. How can winning a lottery change family relationships? And how can family members ask their relatives for financial help? Read Astle’s expert insights on these topics below!
A lottery ticket can be a great birthday present for extended family members
Image credits:Emiliano Vittoriosi / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But, at the end of the day, it’s still a present, and the giver is hardly entitled to the winnings
Image credits:Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:accountforaita33
A financial therapist says there are two things to consider here: culture and boundaries
In an ideal world, money shouldn’t matter. Yet it’s one of the more common reasons for people falling out. “Sudden windfalls almost always complicate relationships,” the founder of the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute,Nathan Astle, says.
“Family relationships, friendships, work relationships, pretty much everything. This is actually a fairly common experience for people where there is a drastic shift in their wealth. Friends, family, and even your kindergarten pen pal come asking for favors,” the financial therapist explains.
Family members help each other out and support one another during tough times. Some might feel entitled to their share of their relative’s good fortune, especially if they had a role in their success like the aunt or uncle in this story did.
Nathan Astle says that the way a family would resolve such an argument depends on two factors: culture and boundaries. “Family and societal cultures handle money differently,” he tells Bored Panda.
“Some are more individualistic, where the focus is on the individual’s success, while collectivistic cultures prioritize the group’s well-being. So, I think the response to thisAITA postprobably depends on what culture you are viewing this from.”
The other thing Astle draws attention to is the importance of boundaries. “Money complicates relationships, especially if you aren’t very intentional about what is good for yourself and what is good for the relationship,” he explains.
“In general, I recommend keeping family and friendships separate from money if you can. You never want to question whether the relationship is about safety and genuine enjoyment or if it is just a ploy for money. That can really mess with our brains.”
However, he does agree that, in the end, the person who won the money can do with it whatever they please. “It is your money (the person who won it), and you get to decide how you want it spent/saved/given,” he says.
Image credits:Askar Abayev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
People shouldn’t feel ashamed of borrowing money from family members
The author of this post also mentions in their post how they’re not doing well financially. That’s why they felt that the nephew should share at least some of the winnings with them. And this contributes to a broader discussion about whether it’s appropriate to ask family members for financial help and what are the best ways to do that.
Nathan Astle, who’s a financial therapist and a couples and family therapist, says that it isn’t abnormal for people to need help from their family. “That isn’t inherently wrong or problematic,” he adds.
“Never let shame, guilt, or embarrassment [prevent you] from seeking help. Even if your family doesn’t respond in the way you hope, you’re never in the wrong for seeking help. We aren’t supposed to do everything alone!”
“It is also healthy to talk about feelings related to themoneybeing exchanged. Is there disappointment? Is there guilt, fear, embarrassment? How can we make sure we talk about these feelings so our relationship doesn’t suffer?”
“It isn’t a bad idea to get the agreement in writing just to make it feel more clear,” Astle gives some more advice. “I know it might seem overkill, but clarity is key to safeguarding your family from bad feelings in the future.”
Image credits:Karolina Grabowska / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The Internet’s opinion was unanimous: you don’t reclaim a gift just because it’s a lucky lottery ticket
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