Say it with me, ‘It’s never okay to comment on other people’sbodies.’ Whether positive or negative, remarks on someone’s appearance can cause them to feelinsecureand less confident about themselves. Since we don’t know what people are going through, it’s better to refrain from offering any observations on others’ looks.
Unfortunately,this birthday guestdidn’t get the memo. Every year during the celebration, she would meet a woman and comment on how skinny she was. Growing tired of receiving remarks on her appearance, the woman came up with a perfect reply, which shockingly earned her a slap on the face.
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Whether positive or negative, it’s never okay to comment on someone else’s body
Image credits:pe_jo / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, this woman didn’t get the memo and caused quite the scene during a birthday party
Image credits:kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Heavenstobestie
Image credits:stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)
“Commenting on someone’s body inevitably brings their own body’s appearance to the forefront of their mind, perpetuating a cycle of self-evaluation and comparison to others,” explains licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders,Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C.
“The tendency to judge or bond over criticizing others easily leads to conversations about appearance. Also, for some, commenting on someone else’s body can be a way to cope with their own insecurities, while for others, it may serve as a source of motivation when they admire a particular person’s body.”
If you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all
Instead of focusing on people’s physical appearance and making them feel conscious about it, we should move our attention to their character, talents, values, humor, and strength.
“A great way to compliment someone without focusing on appearance is to acknowledge their dedication to something they’re passionate about, mentioning that you view it as inspiring,” agrees Goldberg.
“Complimenting their positive outlook and the way their presence brightens your day can also be a kind acknowledgment. Highlighting theircreativity—such as their sense of style, how they design their home or their out-of-the-box problem-solving skills—shows you are seeing something about them deeper than their external look.”
Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director at the Eating Recovery Center, also suggests replacing appearance-related words with verbs signifying action. For instance, “You look so happy when you’re doing that,” “I wish I could be there with you, joining you in that activity” or “Gosh, it looks like the sun is warm, and you’re really enjoying it.”
By making this change, a person is moving from judgment to taking the time to engage with others and the environment they’re in, fostering a connection and a better relationship with them. “It doesn’t have a thing to do with whether their body is acceptable to society or not,” Wassenaar said.
Most readers believed that the original poster’s reply was justified
While some thought it was uncalled for
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