For many recovering alcoholics, one yearsoberis a massive milestone. After putting in the work and taking it one day at a time, they’ve finally reached 365 days without touching a drop of alcohol. It’s a reason to be proud. And to celebrate.

But when one womansharedthe news with herfamily, they were less than impressed. Her mom told her not to expect praise for doing the bare minimum. Her brother-in-law opened a bottle of wine. The woman stormed out of the family dinner, but not before grabbing a cake she’d brought. She’s since been called childish and is wondering whether her actions were justified.Bored Pandaspoke to addiction specialist Nicholas Axcell fromHarmony Clinicfor his take on the matter.

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Celebrating milestones is an important part of the addiction recovery journey

Woman celebrating sobriety milestone outdoors, looking joyful with arms raised against a blue sky.

Image credits:Manny Moreno / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But when one woman shared her significant day with her family, they just shrugged it off

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Text describing a family gathering; woman shares her 1-year sobriety milestone.

Text expressing a woman’s disappointment about her family’s reaction to her sobriety milestone.

Wine being poured into a glass, symbolizing a sobriety milestone awareness challenge.

Image credits:Anna Morgan / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Woman looking upset, contemplating her sobriety milestone.

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Cake with white frosting and berries on top, placed on a striped cloth, symbolizing a sobriety milestone celebration.

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Recovering addicts often celebrate their sobriety anniversaries with a cake

Slice of red velvet cake with fresh berries on a white plate, symbolizing sobriety milestone celebration.

Image credits:Natalie Behn / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The program encourages addicts to tackle the sobriety journey one day at a time, and one step at a time. They celebrate members’ milestones in meetings. From 24 hours sober to 10 yearssober, each accomplishment is seen as something to be proud of.

Nicholas Axcell is an addiction specialist and the Head of International Development for theHarmony Healthcare Group. It’s a hospital group specializing in treatingaddiction, dual diagnosis and psychiatric conditions.

“I think it is an achievement to get into recovery, and milestones can help recognize that achievement and be a motivation and recognition of how far a person has come,” Axcell told Bored Panda during our interview.

The expert says families don’t always understand that the milestones are in fact a big deal. “It’s very important for families to be involved in family therapy or support groups to educate themselves if possible,” said Axcell. “Sometimes, sadly, families aren’t supportive and the person in recovery has to put their own boundaries in place to protect themselves.”

“Any length of sobriety for someone with an addiction is applaudable, but the first year is always special,”notesthe Recovering Champions website.

Members of AA will often celebrate their sobriety “birthdays” with a cake and a ceremony during meetings. Axcell says milestones can be marked with “achip from fellowships, a cake, a meal with recovery friends.”

According to California-based treatment center Wildwood Recovery, the cake symbolizes the individual’sprogressin their recovery journey, and helps encourage others.

“The cake is typically cut into small pieces and shared with other members of the meeting, representing the support and fellowship that is central to the 12-step program,”readsthe center’s website.

While the woman later revealed she wasn’t a member of AA, she still wanted a symbol to mark her one-year milestone and she would have liked to have shared it with those close to her.

“I Hoped Someone Would Say They’re Proud Of Me”: Family Ruins Woman’s Celebration

Image credits:Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

According to Recovering Champions, there are various ways for family and friends to congratulate a loved one when they hit the one year sober mark. And doing so can help them to stay motivated during their recovery journey.

One of the most important things you can do, which the woman’s family failed to do, is express pride. “By expressing pride in their time and acknowledging that maintaining sobriety isn’t easy, they are reminded that despite the challenges they’ve faced they’re still sober, and that’s a wonderful accomplishment,” notes Recovering Champions’ site.

It’s also good to provide support, help and companionship as the person works towards the next milestone. This can come in the form of assisting them with their resume, driving them to appointments, offering to attend meetings with them, or even just lending an ear.

Experts say it’s important to not be judgmental and to be an active listener. It can also help if you ask what their triggers are so that you can avoid them. Opening a bottle of wine when they announce their one-year sobriety anniversary might very well be one of them.

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“I’m genuinely proud of you”: netizens showered the woman with praise and congratulations

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“Find a group who understands”: some people felt everyone involved could have done better

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“Don’t expect non-addicts to give you cookies”: not everyone was sympathetic

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