Some people have wildly different understandings of masculinity and what it means to be a “real”man. These attitudes can put a lot of pressure on folks to fit certainstereotypesout of fear that they’ll be left out. When, in reality, “real” men do whatever it is that men do, from growing flowers to crying.
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I like flowers. I grow flowers around my property and sometimes post pictures on Facebook.Very often I get called gay for doing that. I don’t give a s**t.
I once had a girl I was interested in laugh at me for drinking tea and said “what kind of guy drinks tea?“B***h half my family is British, what do you expect?
Because I’m not into cars. I think some look nice and some look bad, but I don’t care what engine they have. I don’t care how fast they can get to 80mph (there’s no highway around that even let’s you go that fast). And I don’t care what rims or spoiler is on them. They’re just methods of transportation to me, but that apparently makes me an undesirable non man.
Toxic masculinity is a narrow group of characteristics that have been traditionally associated with what it means to be a “real man.” Often, these attitudes are damaging not only to the individual’s mental, emotional, and physical health, but they also have anegative impacton the people around them.To put it bluntly, toxic masculinity is when men are pressured to be aggressive, competitive, selfish, and violent. They’re expected to dominate, take risks, and bepromiscuous. They’re also expected to hide “feminine” qualities such as being emotionally vulnerable, asking for help, or showing their true feelings.
Toxic masculinity is a narrow group of characteristics that have been traditionally associated with what it means to be a “real man.” Often, these attitudes are damaging not only to the individual’s mental, emotional, and physical health, but they also have anegative impacton the people around them.
To put it bluntly, toxic masculinity is when men are pressured to be aggressive, competitive, selfish, and violent. They’re expected to dominate, take risks, and bepromiscuous. They’re also expected to hide “feminine” qualities such as being emotionally vulnerable, asking for help, or showing their true feelings.
Ordering a hot cocoa instead of beer.I love flowers.And I love to cuddle.
A woman came to my house and criticised how neat and clean it was. Apparently, men don’t live like that. Turns out her house was an absolute pig sty.
Girl in high school told me once if I didn’t drink or smoke I wasn’t a real man. A teacher she liked (they were both Vietnamese and he had been helping her with adjusting to Canada) intervened and said that taking care of your health is what a real man would do….
Vulnerability can be a powerful way for you to connect to the people around you. Human beings respect each other more when they’re authentic and honest, instead of trying to put up some sort of front.
For crying AT A FUNERAL. A lifelong friend of mine lost his sister tragically, and as my friend and I knew each other for almost twenty years, she was like a sister of my own. I was devastated at the service.
Wearing pink. Imagine being so insecure about a colour.
It’s hard to build any real connection—or even foster a brotherhood of sorts—if everyone’s constantly avoiding talking about the truth out of fear of “damaging” their reputation or being ostracized.If you’re struggling with your mental health issues, the rational thing to do would be to ask for help and support. That way, you instantly jump to solving the problem. And that’s much more efficient than suffering alone while putting up a facade of nonchalance. Similarly, if your health is suffering, the logical thing to do is to immediately see your doctor. If you try to ignore the issue or pretend that it’ll all go away on its own, you’re only harming yourself more.
It’s hard to build any real connection—or even foster a brotherhood of sorts—if everyone’s constantly avoiding talking about the truth out of fear of “damaging” their reputation or being ostracized.
If you’re struggling with your mental health issues, the rational thing to do would be to ask for help and support. That way, you instantly jump to solving the problem. And that’s much more efficient than suffering alone while putting up a facade of nonchalance. Similarly, if your health is suffering, the logical thing to do is to immediately see your doctor. If you try to ignore the issue or pretend that it’ll all go away on its own, you’re only harming yourself more.
Owning a cat.
I wore an apron while cooking.
Dinner with an ex and her roommate a long time ago. Ordered a salad with grilled salmon on it, roommate thought it was embarrassing because real men are supposed to eat steaks and s**t when going out to dinner. Laughed my a*s off at her.
Moving away from a culture of toxic masculinity towardhealthy masculinityis a long process. It takes years of education to get people to accept the importance of things like vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and embracing who we are instead of fearing social backlash.
I paid a moving company to move a bunch of furniture. She massively disrespected me in front of the movers, commenting about how they were “real men” (implying I wasn’t). We are no longer together.
I can think of two weird things: for wearing a seat belt while driving and for using an umbrella to stay dry. Not the same woman, and the examples happened years apart.
I rejected her sexual advances. Made me “girly"I asked another how she felt. That wasn’t very manly either, apparently.
My dad said I was a big fairy for wearing deodorant and not just using a bar of soap to wash my hair. Using shampoo made me a big fairy powder puff, apparently.One of many pearls of wisdom he tried to give me.He would s**t himself if he knew that I use moisturiser on occasion.
Liking opera music. Pursuing a PhD instead of construction work or being a trucker idk. Not groping her on our first (and last) date.
Because I called an Uber instead of getting in the car with her when we were both heavily day drinking on a 3rd date. Red flags aplenty all day while bar hopping.
Not exactly a “you’re not a real man” moment but close. I had a girl once explain that as a girl she gets to do whatever she wants and I need to make sure to hold down the bills and accept her decisions as the man. So I get the only restrictions in the relationship. We broke up, now I am married and welcoming my first child with a perfect woman.
My ex-wife: A real man makes seven figures. If you can’t handle me physically hitting you, then you’re not a real man.
I went on a first date and when we sit down the woman stares at me and gives me a look of utter disgust and asks in an equally contemptuous voice, “Um…. Do you normally wear glasses?”.
I told a girl I wanted to stay at my 5'8 and 140lb lean build given I’m a competitive marathon runner. She said a real guy would be trying to bulk up and be as big as possible.
Using coupons.She fully believed that a man should not use coupons. She said it embarrassed her, and often made fun of me for it.
Not me, but I remember one time a woman was talking about how “guys who change a tire with gloves on are pussies.” Spoken like someone who had never changed a tire and scraped their knuckles on asphalt lol.
Had someone tell me it’s cringe as a man to live with your parents as an adult, but it’s perfectly fine for women to live with their parents as an adult as long as they want.Always been a weird one to me. Like, so I fall on hard times and my parents want to help, so I guess I’m no longer a man 🤷.
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Every time I’d call out my ex for being rude to me, she’d say “be a man. A man would just take it. Instead of complaining over a little thing.” Every single day she would say the meanest things to me and she expected me to just take it cuz that’s being a man. I found it ironic cuz I thought a man WOULD defend himself against a mean person. That’s what a man would do.
Wearing flip flops with a strap between the toes, using lotion, crying at my grandpa’s funeral, crying at my grandmas funeral, not wanting to have sex after a child abuse case, not wanting sex just because I wasn’t in the mood, taking baths, getting a massage………. women love telling men what’s a real man.
I didn’t simply give her money whenever she asked for it.She deemed herself entitled to men’s money - even if she didn’t even know them.
“You need to grow a beard.““You need to get some tattoos.“Because real men grow beards and get tattoos.Funny story – I had a buddy who was single and a female friend who was single. She liked guys with tattoos, and my buddy had many. The three of us are hanging out, but I could tell they weren’t connecting. I talked to her later on and she explained that he was all right, but she didn’t like all the tattoos he had. I pointed out that she liked guys with tattoos. She further explained that while this was true, he “didn’t have the right kind” of tattoos. My friend had tattoos relating to comic books, and she found that to be a turn off. She even went so far to say that “real men” don’t get tattoos like that.
Not making a move or trying to have sex with her while she was drunk. She called me gay and lame lol.
Using moisturizer in winter and sunscreen in the summer cuz it’s not manly. Heard this from an ex and my own mother.Also, I use hand gestures to articulate my body language as I was taught in my pulbic speaking classes, but that’s gay and effeminate. Same culprits. One I was able to run away from, but the other one just makes me sad.
Ex wife told me I wasn’t a man because I “curled up” when I bundle up with a blanket on the couch.
First gf said I’m not a real man for using a shower loofah to wash myself. She would just put soap in her hands and spread it on herself.
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Once an ex told me I wasn’t a real man for not being able to support both of us financially when she quit her job. I was still a student & an intern at a law firm at the time. That one stung for a while.
I wouldn’t approach some random woman’s friend at a bar. She said that I wasn’t a “real man” and I was “obviously gay.“The backstory was I was out with a few friends having dinner and a few drinks. At the time, my mental health wasn’t the best. I was stressed from work, had some personal issues, and I wasn’t in the right head space to date anyone.This random woman comes up to me and tells me her friend thinks I’m cute and wanted to meet me. She then proceeded to try and convince me to go over to her table and talk to her. When she realized her first attempts weren’t working, she then began berating me, and making false assumptions, I guess to save her friend’s ego.
Cleaning.Even weirder considering she came over right after I got done working out and was cleaning and oiling the barbells in my home gym when she said it.
Either:- Once my grandma said I “wasn’t a real man” because I was crying and “boys don’t cry”. Lady I had a whole surgery…- Someone I knew said I “wasn’t a real man” because I couldn’t lift them up, so apparently I couldn’t “protect” them at night.
Because I liked a song from Sweeney Todd.
“If you can not chop wood with an axe all day, you are not a real man”.
Driving a Ford Focus.
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