Therapy can be life-changing. Not just becausetherapistsare pretty much the only people who can’t wait to hear about our weird dreams and childhood trauma, but because they can help us sort out the tangled mess of thoughts and feelings we have. That’s a pretty big deal.Recently, a Reddit poster asked folks to share the most impactful things their therapist had said to them. People poured in with their stories, and thismental healththread became full of thought-proving statements, some of which were certainly Gandalfesque!More info:RedditThis post may includeaffiliate links.
Therapy can be life-changing. Not just becausetherapistsare pretty much the only people who can’t wait to hear about our weird dreams and childhood trauma, but because they can help us sort out the tangled mess of thoughts and feelings we have. That’s a pretty big deal.Recently, a Reddit poster asked folks to share the most impactful things their therapist had said to them. People poured in with their stories, and thismental healththread became full of thought-proving statements, some of which were certainly Gandalfesque!More info:Reddit
This post may includeaffiliate links.
The anxiety you’re feeling is not evil or your enemy, it’s an overprotective friend trying to keep you safe because it once saw you hurt. Do not fight it, prove it wrong.
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.”.
I asked him, “How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?” and he said “They aren’t my feelings"I don’t think he realized how profound that was.
The biggestmisconceptionabout therapy is that the counselor will give advice. People start attending sessions hoping they’ll be told what to do and their lives will magically improve. But that’s not the case at all. Actually, mental health professionals help patients better understand what motivates them and causes them to act or think the way they do. Therapy also empowers people to make their own decisions and face what’s bothering them.The best way to understand therapy sessions is from a trained professional, which is whyBored Pandacontacted Vidya Kale, aYoga Therapypractitioner. She shared that she had been dealing with extreme trauma and that yoga therapy helped her deal with the bodily symptoms of it. She also credited her therapist,Ankita Deshmukh, with her healing and shared things the counselor said that stayed with her. You can check it out below.
The biggestmisconceptionabout therapy is that the counselor will give advice. People start attending sessions hoping they’ll be told what to do and their lives will magically improve. But that’s not the case at all. Actually, mental health professionals help patients better understand what motivates them and causes them to act or think the way they do. Therapy also empowers people to make their own decisions and face what’s bothering them.
The best way to understand therapy sessions is from a trained professional, which is whyBored Pandacontacted Vidya Kale, aYoga Therapypractitioner. She shared that she had been dealing with extreme trauma and that yoga therapy helped her deal with the bodily symptoms of it. She also credited her therapist,Ankita Deshmukh, with her healing and shared things the counselor said that stayed with her. You can check it out below.
You aren’t that interesting.I would have panic attacks and paranoia that people were out to get me (PTSD etc) and would think that people were judging me in grocery stores because my toddler was crying or that my hair was messy. And honestly it boiled down to…nobody cares. We’re all trying to survive and get through the day and what someone looks like or does, we observe and move on. Nobody is that interesting. Nobody (for the most part) is going to remember to toddler crying for a brief moment or the way I was dressed or if my makeup was perfect. Nobody. The only person who will remember is me, and how I made MYSELF feel.
I was discussing with my therapist that although I’m still young, I felt like it was too late to achieve what I wanted my life to be. She very seriously looked me in the eye and said “Are you dead?” “Well….no” “Then there’s time” and it’s a motto I’ve been reminding myself of daily.
You can’t control others, but you can control how you respond.
When you read these profound pearls ofwisdomthat therapists have imparted, it makes complete sense why they stuck in the clients’ heads for so long. Vidya Kale, the counselor we interviewed, also shared something her therapist asked her that was very impactful. She said, “early on during the therapy sessions, I used to tell her about all my weaknesses, bad qualities, and what was wrong with me. After many sessions, she asked me one question, ‘What is something in you that is enough?’ It doesn’t have to be something exceptional, just enough.”“That was like a shock for me that not everything has to be about reaching an expert level, I can just be enough. We don’t tend to acknowledge the okay qualities in us and focus on the negative. I have also experimented with using this question with my clients, and it’s quite impactful. They too get shocked and realize they never acknowledged the things that were ‘enough’ in themselves,” she added.
When you read these profound pearls ofwisdomthat therapists have imparted, it makes complete sense why they stuck in the clients’ heads for so long. Vidya Kale, the counselor we interviewed, also shared something her therapist asked her that was very impactful. She said, “early on during the therapy sessions, I used to tell her about all my weaknesses, bad qualities, and what was wrong with me. After many sessions, she asked me one question, ‘What is something in you that is enough?’ It doesn’t have to be something exceptional, just enough.”
“That was like a shock for me that not everything has to be about reaching an expert level, I can just be enough. We don’t tend to acknowledge the okay qualities in us and focus on the negative. I have also experimented with using this question with my clients, and it’s quite impactful. They too get shocked and realize they never acknowledged the things that were ‘enough’ in themselves,” she added.
Your friends should not make you cry.Pathetic that I needed to learn this in my 30’s, but there it is.
Sometimes a thought is just a thought.
You’re going to put yourself in an early grave trying to make your Mother happy. Your Mother is sick, trying to make her happy is like trying to fill a bucket that has no bottom, its not going to happen unless she fixes the bucket. You can’t fix it for her.
Vidya shared her experience, stating, “my therapist asked what I would do if I learned about a security threat that would affect my city, and how I would save it. I told her that on the spot, I might not be able to do much, but I gave her a list of things I’d do if I had 24 hours. She then said, ‘see, your brain is able to deal with the toughest situations, and it finds a way out. So trust that you can manage even the most difficult situations and find a way out.’ Even now, my hair stands on end while telling you this.”
Some people are like a colander, it doesn’t matter how much time, love and support you pour into them, it will never fill them up enough to make a difference. .
As a teen in therapy, I used to call myself a potato because of my ugly appearance. The woman I had sessions with actually gave me a small plastic potato replica and had written on it in sharpie “some people like potatoes.“I think it was just the effort she went to trying to help me/cheer me up that really affected me and my judgement of professional help (I was an angsty kid) and after that I took getting help much more seriously.
Research has found that receiving more counseling sessions can improvepatient outcomes. Studies show that out of clients who dropped out, only 12% recovered as compared to 60% of those patients that completed their course of therapy. That’s why it’s so important to stick with these mental health sessions and fight the urge to drop out if things get hard.
“You need to show yourself the same kindness and compassion that you show others.“I did not expect to get something like that in my second session.
“Be the mirror, not the sponge”. Don’t absorb other people’s stress and anxiety, show it back to them gently. Changed my life.
When I broke down because I was so fed up of being scared and anxious all the time he said something like.“You can’t be brave without being scared first.”It always stuck with me that fear, no matter how overwhelming, won’t last forever and I try to see it as a chance for me to prove to myself I can fight back and try to get through this.
When we asked Vidya about the impact of therapy and her therapist on her, she said: “no therapy can have an impact if the client doesn’t take any initiative. If their mindset is set to think ‘everything is bad and everything is wrong, nothing is good,’ nothing will change no matter how much you do or how good the therapist is. I have been working for 4.5 years, and my therapist for 8 years. We also found thatpeoplewho are spiritual or have spiritual beliefs have better chances of healing and it being sustainable.”
“Just because the mentally ill person screaming at you lives in your home instead of on the streets doesn’t mean their opinion is any more true"“The fact that the relationships you have with some people are involuntary doesn’t mean you should hold them to a lower standard than voluntary relationships; you can hold them to a higher standard”.
I’m a therapist. You know that phrase “You can’t love someone until you love yourself”?I tell my patients thats b******t and replace it with:“Sometimes through loving someone else, you can begin to love yourself.”.
“Don’t live as though the thing you fear has happened when it hasn’t”.
With technology becoming even more innovative, it’s no shock that something like therapy can also be done online.Studieshave found that online counseling sessions are just as effective as in-person ones to treatmental illnesses. The only concerns that exist involve privacy both on the counselor’s and client’s side. In physical settings, confidentiality is easier to maintain since only the therapist and patient are in the room. With virtual therapy, people find it tougher to find that same level of privacy in their homes.
Me: I just want to get back to my baseline and feel okay again.Therapist: Or, potentially feel even better than your baseline.Very eye-opening for me in the moment because the thought had never occurred to me.
Not every friend has to be a close friend, you’re able to have different kinds of friends (like levels of how close they are or how much you confide in them).I struggle with being a loner and it affected my mental health a lot because I could count my friends on one hand. I thought of people as acquaintances or close friends with no grey area. This advice helped me appreciate more of the people who I’m not super close with but they still have a presence in my life.
“You deserve to take up space just as much as anyone.“There was a whole process involved in allowing me to see my own self worth.
Have you ever experienced that? We’d love to hear if something a therapist has said really resonated with you.
That I was more addicted to the breaks and deep breathing than I was to the nicotine.Over one year without smoking and watching my dad die of lung cancer due to a lifetime of smoking.
“Sorry, but you’re just not that powerful.”In response to my tendency to accept blame for everything that has gone wrong in mine and my kids lives. It should have been obvious to me but it wasn’t. When I processed this statement I felt overwhelmingly relieved.
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Just because you feel bad doesn’t mean you are bad.
That the best way to get rid of cortisol is to scream, sing or hum. Animals shake when their levels get too high to get rid of it. Our Vargas nerve runs down our windpipe. So scream sing! You’ll feel better. Also that guilt is a heavy and useless emotion, put it down like a suitcase and walk off.
As you become more educated and more experienced you will outgrow people and behaviors and it will not be comfortable. You will no longer fit in.
“You don’t need to please everyone all of the time. People who love you will not leave you because you disagree with them or do something they don’t like.”She nailed a lot of my behaviours back to the fact my biological dad left when I was 9 months old. I cannot cope with perceived abandonment, and will do everything in my power to keep people happy… because they might leave me.
A question she asked that Immediately changed the way I saw a relationship. How much more of this b******t are you going to put up with?
I had been in therapy for about a decade, and was talking to her about online dating. I said it was like being sucked into a whirlpool, in that there is only one small step between just playing around the edges and being sucked into the thing. She asked me why I used that example, and I said “Because, when I was 9, I was sucked into a whirlpool in a creek, and only survived because my brother managed to pull me out.” This started a flurry of scribbling in her notebook I had not seen before. Also answered LOTS of things.
“I’m not taking your insurance anymore”.
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Remember, you have survived 100% of your worst days so far”.
At the third session with our couples counselor, my wife and I had a brief ten minute private session with our therapist. During my session the therapist said “You need to accept the possibility of a divorce. You are trying to do the right thing and be supportive, but you can’t do that alone. Your wife is taking advantage of you. You can’t see how unhappy you are. That will change within a year after your divorce”.Yup. She was right. My wife and I agreed to divorce during the 4th session. I am finally happy, and love my life.
You can always start again.
That I owe nothing to my parents. To work through that took me over 3 years.
“Depression lies to you. The couch will still be in the same spot even after going for a walk.”.
“You didn’t ask to be born, so maybe stop blaming yourself”.
“What she did was abusive and not okay. You did not deserve that”I was made to think I was the problem in the marriage and after describing the relationship, my therapist hit me with this. Floodgates opened.
Your anxiety doesn’t deserve to be ignored, as well as it doesn’t deserve to be justified. You can’t tell yourself “it’ll be fine!” All the time while anxious, that’s invalidating your feelings and burying them deeper. You need to tell yourself “maybe this will happen and maybe it won’t” because that’s what reality is. Life is full of uncertainty and we need to find ways to accept it or else you’ll drive yourself insane….
After going to couple’s counseling therapy for 6 months. One day the ex didn’t show up. Ex an abusive alcoholic who would get physically & verbally abusive. Therapist looked at me & said, “you do know he’s never going to change?” For some reason that made me realize, I need to move on. That was the 3rd time I filed for divorce from him. Soon after he remarried & divorced,he continues to hit rock bottom, but has not changed. Fired for drinking on the job, vehicle repossessed & now lives with his parents at the age of 60. Some people NEVER change.
After abruptly leaving an abusive relationship where (among other things) I physically could only listen to music with headphones on otherwise I’d get yelled at for being disrespectful and “too loud”“Your life is your music. You were forced to mute yourself in that relationship, both literally with the music and with who you are as a person”It really made me realize how much of myself I hid away to try to appease someone else and make their life better when all it did was ruin mine.Over 3 years later and I play my music out loud all the time with a different partner who loves it just as much as I do.
“It sounds like they caused you hurt. Have you ever said that your feelings were hurt out loud before?”.
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