It’s never easy to adjust to big changes in yourfamily. Losing a loved one can turn your world upside down, and gaining a new parent can be extremely confusing. So dealing with multiple monumental shifts in your family dynamic can be difficult to understand, especially for kids.
One mother recentlyreached outto Reddit seeking advice because she’s had no luck with her stepdaughter accepting her new half-brother into the family. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies concerned readers weighed in with.
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This woman’s stepdaughter has had a difficult time accepting her new sibling into the family
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Now, the mom is wondering if her marriage is even worth it anymore
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Losing a parent can take a significant toll on a child
Childrenare incredibly resilient. Every time they fall off their bikes, they get back up and try again. And if they don’t manage to make it into the school musical this year, they’ll spend months preparing for the next audition. But just because they can adapt well doesn’t mean that big life changes don’t require time and sensitivity.
Even simply adjusting to Mom or Dad marrying a new partner can be a huge barrier at first. It can be scary to see your beloved parent bring someone new into the family, and it’s normal for fears to arise. Is myotherparent being replaced? AmIbeing replaced? Will I ever get to spend one-on-one time with my parent again?
With lots of gentleness and care, kids can learn to love their step-parents almost as much as their biological parents. And plenty of people know what it’s like to live in a blended family, asone in fivehomes in theUnited Stateshas a stepparent living there. In fact, almost a third of younger households have stepparents.
But the situation can be a bit more complex when a child has lost a parent in the past. TheChildhood Bereavement Networkreports that losing a parent at a young age can take a significant toll on a child. They may develop anxiety or show symptoms of depression.
Grieving children might also have difficulty keeping up in school, as they may be unable to focus in class or care about their grades. They may even start to rebel or act up in an attempt to get attention or because they don’t knowhow todeal with their intense emotions in a healthy way.
It’s important for stepparents to understand the whole scope of their stepchildren’s situations if they want to understand their behavior and where it’s coming from. And, of course, if they want to bond and grow closer, they’ll have to put effort into the relationship.
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It’s important for kids to have plenty of support when there’s a new member of the family on the way
Try to make special time for each child every day, so nobody feels jealous or forgotten about. And if the older siblings are expressing frustration, be understanding of their feelings and have a chat with them. But make it clear that they’re still expected to treat their new sibling with love and respect.
And it might be a good idea to encourage grandparents and other adults in the siblings’ lives to give them a bit more attention, if they’re not getting as much as they’re used to at home anymore.
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Later, the mom answered some questions from readers and provided more details about the situation
Many readers assured the mother that she wasn’t in the wrong and shared advice for her
However, some thought that she was being far too hard on her stepdaughter
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