Children are creative powerhouses, since they often take in new information daily, without being given any clear explanations about the “why” and “hows” of the world. The result is what some adults deem “kid logic” where they take a shot at working out the mechanics of the universe.So one netizenasked the internetto share their own examples of bizarre and hilarious things they believed as kids. From the universe being black and white until the 60s, to various theories on how babies are made, people delivered stellar cases of “kid logic.” So get comfortable as you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorite posts.This post may includeaffiliate links.
Children are creative powerhouses, since they often take in new information daily, without being given any clear explanations about the “why” and “hows” of the world. The result is what some adults deem “kid logic” where they take a shot at working out the mechanics of the universe.
So one netizenasked the internetto share their own examples of bizarre and hilarious things they believed as kids. From the universe being black and white until the 60s, to various theories on how babies are made, people delivered stellar cases of “kid logic.” So get comfortable as you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorite posts.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
I thought that bands lined up at the radio station waiting their turn to play their song and then went to the back of the line.
Way back in the 70’s I thought my Grandpa had a car that told him where to go, like GPS today. As he was driving a green arrow on the dash would start flashing to the right. He would then turn right. Then another arrow flashed to the left. He would turn left. I was totally blown away.
One can’t just blame ignorance and leaps in logic on some of the things we sincerely believed as a child. Many parents (fathers in particular) have a penchant for having a little bit too much fun inventing and spreading disinformation. Or, perhaps equally as common, some parents refuse to reveal that adultsdon’t actually know everythingabout the universe and will simply make some facts up.Regardless, this often leads to some amount of normal “magical thinking,” the process when a personimagines connections between thingsthat are simply not true. As a kid has a lot less information to work with, can happen all the time, i.e. “if it works like that in my family, it must be true everywhere.”
One can’t just blame ignorance and leaps in logic on some of the things we sincerely believed as a child. Many parents (fathers in particular) have a penchant for having a little bit too much fun inventing and spreading disinformation. Or, perhaps equally as common, some parents refuse to reveal that adultsdon’t actually know everythingabout the universe and will simply make some facts up.
Regardless, this often leads to some amount of normal “magical thinking,” the process when a personimagines connections between thingsthat are simply not true. As a kid has a lot less information to work with, can happen all the time, i.e. “if it works like that in my family, it must be true everywhere.”
i thought that every time i played with a toy the person who bought it for me would get money. i used to try and play with all my toys equally so everyone would get the same amount of money.
When I saw a character die in a movie I thought the actor sacrificed themselves and died in real life for the sake of the film.
A child has to learn everything for the first time but is often limited to whattheir physical sensescan “detect.” So, as one might notice, the majority of “kid logic” listed here featured the physical appearance of something having an exaggerated effect on it. This often has comical results, where “superpowers” are attributed to items of clothing and, for example, the color of a car.
My grandparents on one side of the family have a house in our state and a cabin in another that we would spend weekends at growing up. For some reason, when I was really little, I didn’t really get how that worked. Since you can go to Grandma’s house or Grandma’s cabin, I just assumed I had two identical grandmas, and one just lived at each house. To make it worse, I understood that I only had the one grandpa and just assumed he was married to two identical grandmas. My family still mentions this in jest occassionally.
My son asked me that question when he was little. “When you were little, was the world in color?“I was born in 1981.
However, the desire to understand “why and how” tends to only really develop around the age of eight. Once a child starts to get a bit more independent, they might turn away from bombarding their parents with questions and will instead try to “figure it out” themselves. This list has just a few examples of the hilarious logical paths that they take.
My dad had a gay younger brother named Mark, my mother also had a gay younger brother named Mark. When I was 5 years old my dad told me if your name is Mark that means you’re gay…. I didn’t realize he was joking until I was like 14.
I was absolutely certain that if somebody got a 100-plus year prison sentence, they would leave their drying bones in there until the full sentence was completed.
Lions are boys and tigers are girls just like dogs are boys and cats are girls. Horses are boys and cows are girls and so on.
I thought putting sticky tape on torn paper would repair it. So like most kids, I was told putting a bandaid on a cut made it better. Which made sense because when you took it off the cut had started healing. Well I figured that sticky tape must do the same thing right? I used to pull tape off of things to check if it was “fixed” yet 🤦🏽♀️
When I was little I thought gunpoint was a street so whenever I saw the news that someone got robbed at gunpoint. I would think to myself why would people go there if they’re just going to get robbed?
While many of these ideas fall apart as new evidence is gathered, some bits can remain for an embarrassingly long time, often becoming an inside joke for the entire family. So if you want to keep exploring the hilarious chaos of “kid logic,” look no further,Bored Pandahas another article on the best ofbizarre ideas childrenhave put together.
When I was really young, I used to think people had different accents because the air in their country made their voice that way.
I thought condoms were for boys periods!!
I thought wearing green during day time gave us extra energy since plants are green and made energy that way.I even wore green clothes every time there was a sports event assuming it made me faster and stronger.Now i realise chlorophyll is different from green dye and its an entirely different concept of biochemistry.
I thought hamburgers were called hand-burgers. Since you eat them with your hands 🤚🍔🤚
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I thought that when films had a character as both a child and an adult (flashbacks, time lapse, etc.) that it was the same actor filmed years previously. I thought it must take forever to make a film and that’s why they were so expensive.
I thought when you got to the age where you had to have a job, you got a letter in the mail that told you what your job was. I was terrified my job would be to sit in the underground room where the streetlights switches were. I didn’t want to watch traffic through the periscope and flip the switch at the wrong time causing an accident.
My father had me convinced that if I unscrewed my belly button, my bum would fall off…. until I tested the theory.
i was raised catholic and went to catholic school, and until i was about 10 years old, i thought there were only two religions: catholic and public.
I thought ATMs were just machines that gave you unlimited money lol. I wish :(
As a small child, I was convinced that [jerk] people are [jerks] because of certain bacteria that are unique to them and if I interact with them, I will catch their bacteria and become an [jerk] myself.
I thought if it was raining, it was raining all over the world.
I thought “Skyscrapers” were airplanes, and not “Tall Buildings” until I was about 10…Here is how that happened:I went to the park with my mom as a little kid. The park was located on the outskirts of the big city where some tall buildings could be seen in the distance. “She said look at the sky scrapers, can you see them?“So, I looked around and saw a plane… It had a white trail behind it… I assumed the plane was “Scraping the sky”.
My dad told me “Watch for Falling Rocks” signs were signs to keep a lookout for a lost Indian brave (who’s name was Falling Rocks) who got lost while out hunting to win the hands of the chief’s daughter. Every time we passed one of those signs I’d look all around to see if I saw him.I was in my teens before I realized that was stupid. 😂
I thought girls were born from women, and boys were born from men. It made sense at the time.
I thought you get pregnant when you kiss at your wedding.
My daughter learned something about evolution and asked me, what it was like, when daddy and I were monkeys.
Since breastfeeding from my mum gave me milk then I should breastfeed from my dad to get chocolate milk.Luckily that was shut down pretty fast and I did not get far enough to find out.
If I listen to the Superman theme song every day, then I would turn into Superman one day. I’m still hoping 🙏😆
I believed only kids make mistakes.
People would talk about seeing a drunk or their uncle who is a drunk. I thought that getting drunk was permanent from one good drinking session. I was horrified when heard high school kids were getting drunk. Probably was close to 12 when I learned about sobering up.
Not me, but my son. Big age gap between my 2 kids. My autistic son was going to be of age where he would be starting school. He was nervous about it, so I reminded him that his (much) older sister went to school, and she loved it. He took all this in, and didn’t say anything. His older sister was in university, lived in the dorms, and we would pick her up on the weekends. A few months later my son asked me “Will you and dad visit me, like you visit Sissy?” Absolutely broke my heart, he thought we’d be shipping him off to fend for himself in kindergarten. I still tear up when I think about it.
When I was a little kid, directions confused me a lot (I have zero sense of direction, even as an adult now). My parents finally gave up trying to explain directions to me, and said that the mountains were North of us. So whenever I saw any type of mountains, I assumed that was North. I was 17 years old before I wised up.
Once, my parents said we were having chicken for dinner, and tiny me asked ‘Chicken the food, or chicken the animal??’
Used to think that video games were based off of true stories and Mario did exist. If I still thought that I would be on my next plane to Mooncradle lol
I used to see signs in shops that said shoplifters will be prosecuted. I used to think it meant electrocuted, 6 year old me did think it was quite harsh.
I believed that there was ‘little men’ that would come racing to fix cuts/scrapes on the body and could be seen at work with a special magnifying glass, after my dad used it as a way of explaining how the body repairs itself.For years I defended the idea and got into many arguments at school.
I thought that Alaska was an island…
I thought that my stuffted toys have lives, like in Toy Story. Each and every night, I would give tthem blankets and hug them good night. Also, I used a lot of money on claw machines because I couldn’t stand the fact that the poor stuffies were trapped there.
I used to believe that cartoons were real and that they all lived in Disney Land (regardless if they were from Disney or not).I specifically remember telling my dad I would love to meet Robin Hood (animated fox) one day and that’s when my reality was shattered when he explained how animation worked.Also on the Disney theme, I believed all their stories were original and any other movie or story derived from them.
I had this great feat of becoming a firefighter. One time I came home crying that I didn’t want to be a firefighter and screamed I was afraid of becoming one, because I would die if I wasa firefighter. Don’t ask.
I used to think for a long time opnages were like place you got dogs, the kids just sat in a little cage with a water bowl holding a teddy bear then you pointed at them and then you signed a pape and they came home with you.
I used to think that the exhaust coming from the car’s rearend was the force that pushed it forward. Back then, only the sporty cars had dual exhaust, they were faster because they had two pipes blowing exhaust out of the back.
I was certain that fat people didn’t poop enough.
When i was little (like 4-5) i thought that cows made milk because they are grass so i ate grass to try to see if it would work for me.
When I was 5 years old my aunt gave birth to my cousin. My aunt had a C-section scar and my mother did not. I thought I was adopted because mom had no scar and to me, that was wher babies came from. Eventually, I discovered there was another way.
I used to believe that people in magazines, like models, only kept their poses as long as I looked at the page. Once I turned the page, they let out a big sigh and relaxed. But I could never catch them at it, no matter how quickly I turned the page back.
I thought the exhaust pipe on the car propelled it forward like a rocket.
I thought I could see individual atoms moving around as a kid. Nope, it turns out I had a condition that basically tinnitus but for vision.
I thought magical creatures and wizards and stuff were real in “the olden times”.
I used to think that men and women only had sex to have babies, and that once they were married and had kids, they didn’t have sex anymore. I also thought people didn’t have sex after they were 30. It blew my mind when I eventually learned that even my grandparents still get it on from time to time.
When I was younger, I had thought that different countries were on different Earths, and that all the Earths were shaped differently.
I used to think that because I spoke English and everyone I knew spoke English then that meant almost everyone in the world spoke english, then I googled it and most people actually speak Chinese or something. I also thought that people who spoke other languages if you said something in their language they would hear it as English and they also thought in English.
I used to think my moms middle name was Vias San Victor. Whenever someone asked for her full name, like the doctors office, she would say “V as is Victor” because whenever someone asked her for her full name, She said her first name then V as in Victor. She would then say her last name.
I thought that volcanoes were like weather phenomena and could just “erupt” out of the ground at any time.Reasoning: there’s an episode of Spongebob about a volcano in the town, which isn’t there in all the other episodes, so I thought they just came and went, but we never got any in where we lived , same way we never got tornadoes.While watching that episode, a house exploded down the street from my house. so we all ran to the window wondering what that loud sound had been and saw a ball of debris flying through the air.Having just been watching the Spongebob episode I was convinced a volcano had appeared and erupted down our street.
I remember confidently informing my grandparents that cartoons were really just people dressed up as cartoons.Also, this one isn’t mine but a story my friends dad loved to tell. When we were kids the milkman would deliver bottles of milk to the door. One day, my friend was the first to find the milk delivery and came running into the house yelling “Dad! Dad! I found a cow’s nest!”
I was around 7 at that time, recently introduced to Monopoly. I was not 100% sure if it was real money or fake money. It looked different. But what if? There was so much of it!!! Maybe I was actually rich. I was confused and wanted to test it out. I wanted to be sure. But what if it turns out to be fake? I was too embarrassed to ask.So as usual in those days, my 5-year-old younger brother became the guinea pig. When the ice cream truck rolled around the next day, I pulled off $100 from the fat stack (I was rich), gave it my brother and had him go get a couple of chocolate popsicles, while watching from the sides. That went well. :-)
My dad watched a lot of soccer, and I thought that the players were always the same and wore different shirts and pants just so you could tell the teams apart, and were playing pretend to come from another country, like we did at recess. It blew my mind when I discovered that they REALLY were foreign players and took planes from so far away just to kick a ball around during 90 minutes ! It seemed (and honestly still does) ridiculous to me to travel around the world just for… playing ball, you know ?
I thought I hatched from an egg.In a way, I was kinda close.Kinda.In a way.
My sister used to joke and say that the best way to fix hiccups was to stick your leg in the freezer. I think I realized that she was joking when I was 10.
Your tongue sticks out when you die. If the tongue wasn’t out on someone on tv they weren’t really dead and just acting.
I was ten, it was 1976. Mohammed Ali had a fight at Cesar’s Palac. I used to go to a roller skating rink named Cesar’s Palace. I though cool I’ll go hang out and maybe see him and get his autograph. The night of the fight I snuck out of the house and walked a few km to get there. Well I was very upset and disappointed that there was more than one Cesar’s Palace.
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I thought brown skinned people couldn’t have nut allergies, because nuts were also brown, so they’d have the same stuff as brown people had in their skin.I didn’t realise until I was 16 and it was my turn to bring snacks for my choir club. The brown guy said he had nut allergies. I went “how do you have a nut allergy?” And then suddenly it all clicked in my brain and I realised I might be intelligent, but I am certainly not smart.
I thought all cats were female and all dogs were male
I, a very isolated white child, thought that black people were just really tan white people and that all skin tones were just variations of tan-ness
I thought every bald person had cancer😭
Tv programs didn’t start if the tv wasn’t on.
i thought the phrase “no skin off my teeth” was “no skin off my cheese”
I used to think that when my grandmother flew in an airplane to visit her family in England, that England was in heaven because the plane went up into the clouds.
I believed that my life was a movie that giants in the sky would watch and could change to a different life to watch if they got bored of mine.
That everyone automatically lived to age 100, then died lol
I had my tonsils out and was convinced that you died during surgery. I was terrified when I heard my mom agree to me having surgery. . I thought she was given them permission to kill me.
That the trees swaying was what made the wind
I thought you could eat anything if you bit it.. one time my grandma said “you’re so cute I could eat you like a cupcake” and she got closer to my arm and made “nom nom” noises so I screamed and cried and I hid from her for a week
I used to think that the cows could hear me and my siblings saying ‘moo’ and they would know we were saying hi…
When I was a kid we were not very well off. When I would ask for something expensive or out of our budget my Mom would say “when our ship comes in”.I couldn’t understand why we lived in a state that was nowhere near an ocean if we were waiting for our ship to come in. I thought if we weren’t near the ocean we would miss our ship. Boy did I think my parents were stupid for not moving to the ocean.
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When my parents told me it was expensive to go on a trip somewhere and we had to save up, I thought it was because there was a giant toll they had to pay to get into a different state. It never occurred to me that food, lodging, and transportation costs where a thing.
I thought the richest person in the world was Queen Elizabeth, oh my sweet summer child… 😂I also thought the only country in the world was England, I just thought it was VERY big.A dumb child in British education does not mix well 👍
I believed that my father who is a civil engineer drove a train because there was a train engineer’s hat in our house.
Not me, but a girl I was friends with in middle school was 100% confident that west and left are the same thing, ditto for right and east. I dont remember for sure, but I think she believed north was up and south was down. I tried so hard to explain to her that’s not how cardinal directions work. She refused to believe me and got mad at me for telling her otherwise. To be fair, she also thought you could get pregnant from swallowing. She wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
I used to think there was really a chemical in the pool that turned red if you peed.
I used to think I could somehow climb walls like Spider-Man. All the time I would just try to climb up a flat wall.
I thought left and right were different for men and women… as in like they were swapped
When someone said “In my point of view” it was actually “in my point of you”. So I would say “in my point of me” because why would I said you, when it was my point!
I used to believe that hedgehogs carried apples and mushrooms on their backs. I think that was mostly because they were portrayed like that in drawings, poems, stories.I believed it until I met a real hedgehog and saw that it’s spikes would not be able to even properly stab these items. I think some older adults actually still believe that hedgehogs carry berries on their backs.
I was positive women had hair on their chests like my dad and uncles.Sadly, walking in my moms room as a child taught me differently. Knock on your parents' door kiddies.
Every country was on a different planet. China was on Mars.
If you were underwater and closed your teeth really tight and then sucked in hard, you just might be able to extract air from the water like fish do…
As a 3-4 y/o(english not being my first language) I thought peter pan was peter pants… I also used to think that if you had a disease certain people had the capability to just stop having diseases…
There is a mountain where I live called Stockhorn. When I learned the capital of Sweden was Stockholm I thought that Sweden had to be just on the other side of that mountain. I believed that for far longer than I like to admit lol
I used to think that the oldest sibling had the darkest complexion and then the younger ones were lighter and lighter. This was true on both my mothers and fathers side. I am blonde and an only child so that even strengthened my beliefs.
“dog years” were shorter than human years because they’re smaller, closer to the ground.
I once believed as a young child that the Pokemon from the game were real and only the special app could detect them, otherwise they were invisible to the naked eye. I was very disappointed when I realized that Pokemon were not, in fact, real creatures 🥲
If I didn’t run home full speed from my neighbors, Freddy Kruger might get me. This is despite never seeing a Freddy movie as a kid. He terrified me
I was convinced that the reason you were not supposed to swallow gum, was that the gum would stick your heart to the inside walls of your chest and stop it from beating. Like you swallowed food and it just dropped into a big open abdomen with a heart beating in the center.
I thought eggs were vegetables for a while because the exeggcute Pokémon card I had was a grass type. In my defense, I was around 4 or 5 years old.
That Men were from Mars and Women were from Venus, either that or the stork theory was plausible.Eating watermelon seeds would make your stomach grow a watermelon.
Thought permanent bracelets were melted on to your skin
Not really something we believed as kids, but whenever it was raining and we were driving somewhere, my siblings and I would say “windshield wipers go!” And whoever said it the closest to when the windshield wipers actually went had ‘the power’
I called Wendy’s…. Cinderella. I mean it was perfect logic. She looks exactly like the one scene in the beginning of the movie with the braids and nightgown and everything, except she is a redhead. I also called French fries cow pies for some reason 🤷🏽♀️
When lightning would occur I just assumed the earth was getting closer to outer space. Because for some reason I thought space was filled with electricity
I thought that the characters in movies had the same name as their actors. Like I thought that Mark Hamill’s name was actually Luke Skywalker and would hear none of my parents' explainations.
My cousin believed for a long time that Gotham City was an actual place on this planet and wanted to visit it. He was very disappointed when he started learning geography and looking at an atlas in his school years 😀
Happened when I was a kid and we were taking a long road trip in a new car. There was some kind of fastener in a corner in the floor and I asked my dad, “what is that for?” He said it was to hold the car together. And for the rest of the trip I wondered how that little thing held the whole car together.
I always thought that old statues were actually life-sized and because of that I thought giant people and giant horses were a thing
I was convinced water spouts could pop up anywhere and just suck you into heaven.
I was told bananas were made in a factory where they blended up monkeys and put them into peels… I believed it
I was born in 2007, and believed a LOT of stupid things as a kid, these are just a few of my favorites- If I imaged dinosaurs hard enough, I would be able to actually see and hear and feel them like Dino Dan-the original Godzilla was made AFTER the sy (I say sy but I actually still love this movie) 1998 American remake, and was black and white for aesthetic purposes or something- When I googled Godzilla, and got images of Mothra and Destoroyah, among other Iconic Godzilla monsters, I assumed these were different versions of Godzilla, and when my dad showed me “Mothra vs Godzilla” and Mothra appeared I thought she was Godzilla- Misogynists were homosexual because of their hatred for women (looking back this one might be true)- if you were to leave the door open with the AC on, it would actually cool down the entire neighborhood (my dad would always complain we were air conditioning the whole neighborhood when we left the door open.-If I ate enough red food, it would turn my skin red, similar to how flamingos get their red color from eating brine shrimp- our cat (who lived until I was 3) actually enjoyed it when I yanked her tail- my moms C-section scar was from when I burst out of her womb violently and bloody- my brother was born on Christmas and I thought Santa had put him inside our mother- The only reason my brother and I looked different was because of our age, and when he was my age he would look just like I did. I also thought I would look identical to my dad when I was his age.- since our Dad is 10 years older than our mom, I thought this made it completely acceptable for a 10-year-old to date a 20-year-old. Also at the time I thought 10-year-olds were adults.- There were dinosaurs still out there somewhere and that I would rediscover them and become famous- my personal favorite, when actors got injured in a movie (like getting cut and stuff) they would actually hurt themselves. I knew their dying was just an act, but if they got a huge gash or something I thought the director was just like “Here hold still for a moment”. This also led me to believe that whenever Godzilla bled, they would harvest blood from the human actors (I hadn’t realized yet Godzilla was a man in a suit) and just stuff it in the Godzilla prop and squeeze it out offscreen which is why is squirted everywhere.
Not me, but my brother. For context, our primary school was really tiny and the different year groups (mainly preschool and kindergarten) had different areas to play in. So when me and my brother got dropped off, him, me and my Mum went with him and he believed that when I went to my area, I was going to a fully different school, far away.
Growing up, I thought that the states were colonized from the top left to the bottom right, with Alaska first and Florida last. That was until I learned about the 13 colonies.
I remember this so vividly. I was probably 9, driving with my mom, dad, and brother when I asked, “How do kids get their dad’s genes if they are in their mom’s belly?” I don’t remember my parents' response, but I’m pretty sure they said “I don’t know.” Another time was when my brother was about 6, he thought our dad gave birth to him because he was a boy.
I used to think that when you bought something in a store and you got change back, you got your actual own money back. I thought it was some weird kind of adult play pretend that everyone was in on.Never occured to me why people have jobs or how some people can be poor.I also, for some reason, thought that the right side of my body was good and the left was bad. I remember hitting on my left foot pretty hard because I wanted it to go away or to at least be as good as the right foot. Never talked to anybody about it. So I don’t know where I got the idea from.
I used to think grilled cheese sandwiches were girl cheese sandwiches and that boys were not allowed to eat them
Still beleive that if I max out Garl’s magic def., he can’t die from Fleshmancer magic.
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Jonas Zvilius
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Funny
