Being the spouse to a partner who is co-parenting can come with its challenges. The ex may despise you, your partner and their ex may struggle with seeing eye to eye on parenting approaches, or the ex might talk badly of you in front of your stepkids.
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Co-parenting comes with its challenges, as this new wife unhappily found out
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Planning on having her husband and the kids all to herself for Christmas, she was bewildered when her husband presented her with his own “insane” ideas
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Apparently, her husband’s ex is going to be alone on Christmas day unless her husband lets the stepkids come over, a deviation from their agreed-to plan
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The husband’s alternative is to have his ex and the woman’s stepkids over for Christmas, along with her whole family
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Infuriated, the wife took to the web to ask whether or not she’s being unreasonable in thinking her husband is insane to even suggest these options
Well, since her relationship has ended, the ex has told OP’shusbandthat she’ll be taking the kids on Christmas day, otherwise she’ll be all alone. In the past, the husband and his ex have split the day so one will have the kids for the morning and the other for dinner. Since this was going to be her husband’s dinner slot, he’s gutted, but apparently his ex has a habit of making plans and just informing the husband how it’s going to be.
OP’s husband complained to her thatChristmaswill be rubbish now, despite OP and their daughter being there, and came up with his own ideas. One of them involves having the ex over for Christmas day, while the other will see her losing her daughter for part of Christmas day while her husband visits his ex.
OP’s not interested in either of those two options and thinks her husband shouldn’t be so ready to buckle to his ex’s wants and needs since it’s not hisproblemshe’ll be alone.
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For starters, she could tell her husband to find a more workable compromise with his ex or put forward her own compromise altogether and let her husband float it.
According to the Arrival Counseling Servicewebsite, the secret to finding a successful compromise is a “give-and-take” attitude. We must be ready to make sacrifices but should also expect the same from the other person. Compromise is not about winning or losing but about achieving an outcome that works for everyone.
ACS goes on to suggest 6 steps to finding a successful compromise. These include identifying your needs and wants, listening and sharing your perspective, finding common ground, being flexible, following through, and seeking support, if necessary.
If OP’s husband and his ex can’t find a compromise, OP might be dealing with a narcissist.
In herarticlefor HackSpirit, Pearl Nash puts forward a few suggestions on how to deal with your spouse’s narcissistic ex.
Some of these include not letting her get to you, communicating with your husband about the situation, accepting that she won’t change, finding a support system, and seeing the bigger picture so you don’t lose your sense of purpose.
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