Whenever someone from the past gives you a call, there’s always this dilemma in the back of your head: do they really want to reconnect or do they just need a favor?
In apostthat recently caught the attention of the subreddit ‘Entitled People,’ platform userRoutine-Messrecounts a perplexing story where her husband was invited to the extravagant wedding of his former roommate.
She attended the ceremony as his plus-one, but it quickly became obvious to the woman that the two of them weren’t important to the newlyweds. Her thoughts were eventually confirmed when the groom revealed that he needed money.
Old acquaintances have this tendency to pop up whenever they need something
Image credits:vai_jcw F56 / unsplash (not the actual photo)
And this guy’s former roommate asked him to sell his car so that he could save his failing business
Image credits:Prostock-studio / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Routine-Mess
There’s no way the old friendship can continue now
Image credits:Eren Li / pexels (not the actual photo)
We managed to get in touch with Routine-Mess and she was kind enough to tell us more about the whole ordeal.
“I didn’t know the couple at all, my husband only said that EG was a good friend and that they were roommates for some time. My husband also didn’t know EB very much,” the Redditor explained toBored Panda. “When he showed me their social media accounts, I thought they were a bit vain.”
Routine-Mess said that before EG asked her husband for money, she couldn’t tell that the couple had any financial problems or that their business was failing. “Their wedding was very extravagant and there were lots of business friends of his father.”
But now, she believes there’s no way her husband and EG could rekindle their friendship. “He cut them off after this, and I made it very clear that this was not normal,” she highlighted. “At that time, he really believed that they were struggling. My husband had a rough childhood and no one helped him, so now he wants to help people but sometimes has problems reading their intentions.”
Routine-Mess tries to be there for her husband as much as she can. “We have healthy boundaries and checklists, and he always asks my opinion.”
The wedding invitation appears to have been an “investment” rather than a token of genuine camaraderie
Image credits: Dmitry Zvolskiy / pexels (not the actual photo)
Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., who is also a professor and chair of the Counseling and Higher Education department at Northern Illinois University, highlights that friendship consists of many (in)tangibles.
“For instance, you might pick up the check for your friend’s meal when she’s short on cash, and then her next payday will mean a payback for you,” shesaid. “Your friend’s child is going to be a sunflower, a raindrop, or a face in the crowd in the elementary school play and your friend really wants you to accompany her on opening night. You agree to attend, and a couple of months later, when you need someone to go with you to the opening reception for the modern art exhibit you had been eagerly anticipating, your modern art-loathing friend will go with you because she knows she owes you—and she likes you, too.”
Even though long-term friendships don’t require a ping pong payback, they should still feel reciprocal, with an unspoken understanding that support and kindness flow naturally between friends.
In this case, the wedding invitation appears to have been an “investment” rather than a token of genuine camaraderie.
According to Degges-White, it is up to us to decide whether it is worth our time and energy (and maybe even money) to keep the social connection.
Among the reactions, people also shared their own similar experiences
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