Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with its author, who kindly agreed to answer a few questions about it.
Some daughters and mothers are fortunate to have a close relationship
Image credits:drazenphoto (not the actual photo)
However, this guy found his girlfriend’s and her mother’s relationship too close and weird, which led him to cause a scene
Image credits:ORION_production (not the actual photo)
Image credits:ivanmorenosl (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
Image source:Blooming_Onion5904
We atBored Pandawere lucky enough to get in touch with the original poster of this story, who kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions. Firstly, we were curious to know what inspired her to share it online. “I was on the fence about the entire situation, and I was already a listener of the [AITA] podcast, so I decided to share my story to see what the general consensus was, as this community is an impartial one and gives great responses. And I love the host and the guests she has. So even if I didn’t get featured on her podcast, I would still get the community answers, so it was a win-win,” she told us.
She also shared that her relationship with her mother was generally close, but it got a bit rocky in her early teens. “Once I hit about 17 and my parents divorced, I had to move in with her, and so we got super close and became best friends.”
At the time of the interview, the original poster still felt unsure about the whole situation with her ex-partner. “The friends that didn’t attack me for my decision have made it clear that they will support me regardless of my decision but have told me that they think my ex is a douche haha. I don’t necessarily blame them, hence why my ex and I are still ~just~ friends and nothing more.”
96% of moms get along well with their daughters
A studyresearching mother-daughter relationships found that 96% of moms get along well with their daughters, 86% talk about many topics, and 90% spend a lot of time together. Meanwhile, 90% of daughters believe their mothers listen to them, and 88% report that their opinions are respected.
The data also showed that the majority of them ask each other for advice, mostly about daily and social affairs, relationship issues, health, and the future. The most common activities they reported doing together were having supper, watching television, going to stores, or visiting friends.
In fact,researchhas revealed that the mother-daughter relationship is the strongest of all parent-child bonds. Experts explain that while connections between parents and children are based on love, they aren’t always as strong in the empathy department.
It was found that the part of the brain that regulates emotions is more similar between mothers and daughters than any other pairing.
This means that mothers are more likely to understand theirdaughterswhen they’re faced with a problem than anyone else, as they can better imagine themselves in their shoes. The finding also explains why they often butt heads too, after all, the same sides of the magnet push each other away.
48% wish they would be closer to their mothers than they are
While others maintain close bonds with their mothers throughout their lives, there are also those (48%) who wish they would becloserto them than they are. Experts note that these feelings are very real and not uncommon. Therefore, it’s crucial to acknowledge and validate these emotions.
“It’s important to hold space for all types of relationships with moms because even those who harbor anger, resentment, or sadness towards their mothers often also yearn for the particular and irreplaceable bond between a mother and child,” says Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, the founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy.
One of the reasons that children remain more distant from their mothers is because of their differing personalities. “Differing personalities mean any diverging traits or temperaments that impact the ability to connect,” Erisa M. Preston, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist,says.
Any unresolved resentment can also be a big part of it. Past conflicts, misunderstandings, or unmet expectations can create distance or anger toward the parent. Even one too-critical comment on a child’s appearance can leave them negatively reacting to any remarks about how they look in adulthood.
For those who aren’t as close to their birth parent as they’d like to be, experts advise keeping in mind that they’re not alone. “Not everybody has a close or healthy relationship with their mom or their child, whether because of things beyond their control or because of boundaries they have chosen to make and enforce,” says Dr. Preston. “This can be quite painful for people longing for a closer or more fulfilling relationship.”
The readers believed she made the right decision
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