Weddings are supposed to be some of the happiest days of people’s lives. Though many of them are spectacular and the couples get their happily ever after, it would be naive to think that every event goes swimmingly.
Bored Pandawanted to find out how newlyweds can navigate arguments in a healthy way and how to cope with the stress of organizing a wedding, so we reached out to marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapistStephen J. Betchen D.S.W.He was kind enough to shed some light on these questions and you’ll find his insights as you read on. Dr. Betchen is the author of the books‘Couples in Conflict’and‘Unmet Expectations in Couple and Sex Therapy.’
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Bride warned groom several dozen times – in my presence – if he smashed the cake in her face they would have issues. Using phrases like “I am not kidding” or “I am completely serious.“Groom was a good ‘ol boy type. His friends found out about his bride’s one stipulation about the wedding. She was flexible on a lot of other things, but no f*****g cake-smashing. They started making whip-cracking sounds, teasing him that he was “whipped” and needed to Put His Foot Down And Show Her Who’s Boss.Yeah, he smashed the cake in her face.She had it annulled.
Bride and groom both lovely people, but the groom’s mother… at the reception she got so drunk that she leaned over in her chair and just puked on the floor. She spent the next 2 hours wailing and crying because she (told everybody) thought her son deserved better. As I was packing equipment back into my car, I spotted MIL in the bushes, dress around her head, legs in the air and a group of people trying to get her out. I later found out that she s**t herself at a later point in the evening - and the bride spent time cleaning her up. Didn’t think the marriage would survive with a toxic MIL like that around. Then I saw on social media that the bride and groom moved overseas, far away from their families!
Both the divorce and marriage rates have been decreasing in the United States over the past two decades.Forbes reportsthat there were 994,000 divorces in 2000. The number dropped to 689,308 divorces in 2021. The divorce rate went from 4 per 1,000 people to 2.5 per 1,000 in just 21 years.
Minister friend did a wedding once where in the vows the woman wouldn’t say “for richer or poorer”. Just kept saying “for richer or richer”. And she wasn’t joking. They didn’t last long.
Years ago I was a waitress at a fancy restaurant where we regularly had weddings.One night we had this massive wedding party. His side were one of those families with loads of money but not an ounce of class. Just rowdy, loud and incredibly rude, making sure to let everyone know how rich they were. She was a quiet, shy girl with a small family full of boring mousy types. As the night progressed his family just got drunker and louder as hers hid in the corners, visibly annoyed.At one stage the groom grabbed the microphone, and did a heavily intoxicated version of Frank Sinatras ‘My Way’ whilst his whole family cheered him on. Afterwards he turned to his bride and slurred over the speakers:‘Tonight, we will do it MY WAY, wifey!!!‘and then proceeded to make doggy style thrusting gestures.The bride flushed bright red, got up and walked out, her mum on her heels. She didn’t come back. The groom stayed and got so trashed his disgusting family had to carry him out at the end of the night.It was spectacular. They didn’t last long.
Not a wedding planner, however I worked as a banquet server for an event center that hosted wedding receptions.Bride was hammered drunk and very upset with her husband because he was not drinking. This led to her telling every person at the reception, “he’s just no fun anymore.“15 min later she is standing in a hallway sucking face with one of the groomsmen. Husband walked out and the entire party collectively flipped s**t.They left half a keg though an me any coworkers got smashed. So that was cool.
The average American marriage lasts around 8 years. Simple divorces take just 3 months to be dissolved while contested ones take around a year to be finalized. The average divorce costs $7,000.Roughly one in two marriages end in divorce. However, second marriages fail more often (67%) and even more third marriages end up being dissolved (73%).
The average American marriage lasts around 8 years. Simple divorces take just 3 months to be dissolved while contested ones take around a year to be finalized. The average divorce costs $7,000.
Roughly one in two marriages end in divorce. However, second marriages fail more often (67%) and even more third marriages end up being dissolved (73%).
There are plenty of different reasons why couples end up getting divorced. Some of the main ones include a lack of commitment, infidelity, and constant arguing. On top of that, getting married too young, financial problems, and substance abuse are also important factors here.If there’s a lack of proper communication and barely any mutual respect, then the couple is going to fight a constant uphill battle. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship, but partners need to strive to support one another and be transparent about the things that truly matter. Nobody’s a mind-reader so if there’s a problem, you need to speak up and actively listen to your partner’s side of things, too.
There are plenty of different reasons why couples end up getting divorced. Some of the main ones include a lack of commitment, infidelity, and constant arguing. On top of that, getting married too young, financial problems, and substance abuse are also important factors here.
If there’s a lack of proper communication and barely any mutual respect, then the couple is going to fight a constant uphill battle. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship, but partners need to strive to support one another and be transparent about the things that truly matter. Nobody’s a mind-reader so if there’s a problem, you need to speak up and actively listen to your partner’s side of things, too.
Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind and very fun person, to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. It was bad. I knew it wasn’t going last the moment she arrived at the venue. She tore up the guest list, and was furious at the groom because his family, most of them either elderly and disabled, weren’t at the ceremony yet (they were 5 minutes late, and parking was awful). So she decided to start the ceremony even though they weren’t there yet. The groom had zero say as he was a really quiet guy. During the bridal procession down the aisle, people kept arriving and having to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue. Then, during the actual vows, the groom was so terrified, he literally couldn’t look at her. Instead, he did his vows while looking at the minister. She grabbed his face mid-vows, pointed his face to hers, then said “Do them over…NOW!”. Probably the most cringe-worthy moment I’ve ever seen in my entire career. The guests tried to laugh it off, but we all felt bad for him. The icing on the cake was during the toast. She decided to talk about his mom…then passive-aggressively insult her… then completely insult the crowd… then her new husband (yes, she was sober). After the dinner, about 75% of the guests just up and left. There was so much more than happend (and if there is enough interest, I’ll share more), but it was a total s**t show. I knew, this one wouldn’t last. And it didn’t. They divorced a few weeks later. How do I know? She stiffed me on payment and kept blaming her now-ex-husband for not having any money and everything that went wrong in their marriage.
Telling the groom: “You don’t have to go through with this.” and him replying; “Well, I already paid for the wedding.”
Limo driver here. They were screaming at each other in the back on the way to the reception. The bride never made it inside. I later learned she left to go sleep with another guy. She just wanted half of his fortune.
The very best wedding planners are going to make the entire organizational process seem like a dream. Their mission is to take most of the burden off the happy couple so that they can enjoy the time leading up to the Big Day instead of stressing out over the tiniest details.Essentially, planners need to turn their clients’ idea of their dream wedding into reality. That’s why communication skills are so prized in this profession. On top of that, planners need to be very flexible and creative. After all, far from everything goes as planned, so you need to be ready to find alternative plans and solutions at the drop of a hat.Above everything, anyone working with weddings, no matter their position, should strive to be professional at all times, no matter the chaos surrounding them. They have to be the island calm in the middle of the storm (even if they’d rather pack their bags and go home).
The very best wedding planners are going to make the entire organizational process seem like a dream. Their mission is to take most of the burden off the happy couple so that they can enjoy the time leading up to the Big Day instead of stressing out over the tiniest details.
Essentially, planners need to turn their clients’ idea of their dream wedding into reality. That’s why communication skills are so prized in this profession. On top of that, planners need to be very flexible and creative. After all, far from everything goes as planned, so you need to be ready to find alternative plans and solutions at the drop of a hat.
Above everything, anyone working with weddings, no matter their position, should strive to be professional at all times, no matter the chaos surrounding them. They have to be the island calm in the middle of the storm (even if they’d rather pack their bags and go home).
Worked for a wedding planner.Groom was gay. Bride was not.
When the sister of the bride said ‘I’ll make this speech as short as the engagement’.
I helped cater a wedding once and was slicing up the cake the bride and groom just cut for serving. The groom asked me if he could lick the icing off my fingers, with his new bride standing right beside him. I picked my jaw up off the floor and hid in the kitchen for the rest of the wedding.
Dr. Betchennoted that a lack of commitment has overtaken infidelity as the biggest cause of divorce in the United States. The marriage and family therapist urged all partners to know what they want in a relationship before committing to it. According to the expert, people should ask themselves important questions like: “Do you want to travel? Do you want kids and how many? Where do you want to live? Is it important that your spouse bring in an income? Do you want someone to ski with, bowl with?”“Too many couples form and expect to be able to negotiate these issues but instead they end up in control struggles,” the therapist explained to Bored Panda.Dr. Betchen said that people should assess their partners’ ability to be honest, trustworthy, and committed. “To do so, examine their relationship history and how you are treated in the beginning of your relationship with them. Do they have a history of affairs? Do they express their feelings directly or passive-aggressively? Do they have a tendency to run from stress? Do they appear attracted to you? Too many couples fail to pay enough attention to the signs that someone lacks attraction or cannot make a long-term commitment,” he warned.
Dr. Betchennoted that a lack of commitment has overtaken infidelity as the biggest cause of divorce in the United States. The marriage and family therapist urged all partners to know what they want in a relationship before committing to it. According to the expert, people should ask themselves important questions like: “Do you want to travel? Do you want kids and how many? Where do you want to live? Is it important that your spouse bring in an income? Do you want someone to ski with, bowl with?”
“Too many couples form and expect to be able to negotiate these issues but instead they end up in control struggles,” the therapist explained to Bored Panda.
Dr. Betchen said that people should assess their partners’ ability to be honest, trustworthy, and committed. “To do so, examine their relationship history and how you are treated in the beginning of your relationship with them. Do they have a history of affairs? Do they express their feelings directly or passive-aggressively? Do they have a tendency to run from stress? Do they appear attracted to you? Too many couples fail to pay enough attention to the signs that someone lacks attraction or cannot make a long-term commitment,” he warned.
I not a wedding planner but I work for a florist who specializes in wedding. We supply pretty much everything from the dj equipment to the dance floor…Any way we work closely with the wedding party for upwards of a year before the big day, depending how prepared/a**l the party is.The couple that the entire store knew wouldn’t last seemed sweet at first. They sat down and planned their wedding with the usual staff, seemingly the bride and groom flawlessly agreed on every detail. A day later the bride came in and changed almost the entire order and specified that we weren’t to tell the groom. Later that day the bride’s mother called and changed the flower order from roses to lilies and from pink to white. She also specified that we weren’t to tell the bride. As you can imagine both the bride and the groom both found out when they came in for the final meeting. A giant verbal fight broke out and they were escorted out of the store. The wedding was “postponed” for another year. 8 months later the groom came in with another bride to be.
In the days before pinterest, I was working as a florist in a very expensive shop. A young bride came in for her initial consultation and we go through her scrap books with ideas, then she was flipping through our photo books and then oohing and ahhing over everything. She came to one pricey high-style bouquet- very architectural, with unexpected elements and she say, “Oh, I love that! Not for a first wedding, but I’m so going to have it for my second!” And she gives this naughty little smile that one could tell she thought was cute and pulls a second wedding scrapbook out of her designer bag and writes down the design number! Apparently, she actually was planning her second wedding. No idea how long they actually lasted, but I’ve heard it said that the more expensive the wedding, the quicker the divorce and the flowers alone for that wedding were over $10,000- and this was about 20 years ago.
However, the therapist pointed out that even functional relationships have their difficulties. “If a couple finds themselves in a prolonged control struggle, they need to recognize that they must get out of it or it will deteriorate the relationship. They must accept that there will be no winner and loser, only two winners or two losers,”the experttold Bored Panda via email.“If they cannot accept the reality that they are married to an individual with his/her own likes and dislikes, there will be trouble. Focus on what your partner brings to the relationship that can help you grow rather than try to make them in your own image. If you cannot do this, get professional help.”Getting out of these control struggles means that each partner has to accept that they’re with someone with their own opinions, habits, and preferences. Being in a successful relationship means that someone won’t always get everything that they want: compromise and selflessness are incredibly important.“People want it all and hate loss. But you must sacrifice some of your needs and adjust your expectations to navigate a control struggle successfully,” he said.
However, the therapist pointed out that even functional relationships have their difficulties. “If a couple finds themselves in a prolonged control struggle, they need to recognize that they must get out of it or it will deteriorate the relationship. They must accept that there will be no winner and loser, only two winners or two losers,”the experttold Bored Panda via email.
“If they cannot accept the reality that they are married to an individual with his/her own likes and dislikes, there will be trouble. Focus on what your partner brings to the relationship that can help you grow rather than try to make them in your own image. If you cannot do this, get professional help.”
Getting out of these control struggles means that each partner has to accept that they’re with someone with their own opinions, habits, and preferences. Being in a successful relationship means that someone won’t always get everything that they want: compromise and selflessness are incredibly important.
“People want it all and hate loss. But you must sacrifice some of your needs and adjust your expectations to navigate a control struggle successfully,” he said.
The bride had been a total pain in the a*s while planning her wedding. She wanted the most lavish food, the best alcohol package, the most over-the-top decor. Fine, we can make your venue look like something Donald Trump might describe as ‘a little too gilded’, whatever. After that was done, she demanded mirrors, and disco balls, and anything else reflective we could cram into the space. Then, she demanded to interview all the wedding officiants, because she wanted a ‘really hot guy’ to perform the ceremony. She complained that everyone she saw was, ‘like middle aged or something’, and insisted we had to find her someone that looked like Chris Evans. Because she wanted everyone in her pictures to be hot. Day of the wedding, she asked me to procure as many lions as I could get my hands on, and have them sitting around the head table. Cause what you really need at an open bar are a bunch of apex predators. When informed she could not have lions at her reception, she dissolved into tears, complaining about her crappy little wedding (of 300 guests, cases of Cristal, and f*****g Lobster tail as the main), and how her little sister always got everything better than she did. We all knew, that this was not about a marriage, and was all about a party. When your wedding is just about out-doing someone else’s reception, there’s no hope for your relationship. All the way through this mess, the groom had just rolled his eyes, and let his bride spend like a drunken sailor on leave. He never objected to any of her insane requests. Just let her have whatever she wanted. However, he didn’t even bother to come up to the suite while she was having a meltdown over the lions, because, “I’m too drunk to deal with this, and also I don’t want to have to hear her scream about seeing the goddamn dress.” Bride was back a year later with a friend to help plan that wedding, sans ring.
I’m a baker, not a wedding planner, but I deal with them + weddings constantly. Once was doing set up in a venue for this monster cake for 500 guests + a dessert table. Usually with something that big and expensive, I’ll stick around and ask the couple or the planner for approval before I leave. I finish and ask for the WP’s approval and she comes in, sweaty and frazzled, and tells me it’s okay, and I explain how to cut the thing, because it was so big if you didn’t to it right it would topple. I ask her what is wrong, because she’s out of it, not paying attention. She explains that the bride’s boyfriend showed up to the reception space to get into the bridal suite… with the groom’s boyfriend in tow. it was a sh**show and people were going crazy fighting in the bridal suite. She thought it was going to come to fisticuffs. I came back to pick up the set up pieces for the dessert table the next day. Somehow they went through with the wedding, but that wasn’t going to last.
In the meantime, Bored Panda also wanted to get Dr. Betchen’s thoughts on how marrying couples can reduce the stress they feel while organizing their weddings. The marriage and family therapist noted that weddings may be taken a bit too seriously.“Yes, they [weddings] are symbols that represent a lifelong commitment. But there is a danger in putting the wedding ahead of the marriage,” he warned.“Potential in-laws are often too needy and intrusive as if it is more important to them than the bride and groom. Simply put, they see the event as a forum to show off or as a potential loss rather than the gain of a new family member. They may also use the event to show their power or to make a statement about their disapproval of the union,” the therapist noted.
In the meantime, Bored Panda also wanted to get Dr. Betchen’s thoughts on how marrying couples can reduce the stress they feel while organizing their weddings. The marriage and family therapist noted that weddings may be taken a bit too seriously.
“Yes, they [weddings] are symbols that represent a lifelong commitment. But there is a danger in putting the wedding ahead of the marriage,” he warned.
“Potential in-laws are often too needy and intrusive as if it is more important to them than the bride and groom. Simply put, they see the event as a forum to show off or as a potential loss rather than the gain of a new family member. They may also use the event to show their power or to make a statement about their disapproval of the union,” the therapist noted.
NAWP, but a few years ago I was serving lunch and cocktails poolside at a fancy hotel in Hawaii. Lots of wedding parties, at least 4 or 5 a week during the summer. The bride and her party were having a spa day, and the groom and his men were poolside in a rented cabana. They were hitting on all of us, and on some of the ladies lounging poolside. We kept an eye out in the event we had to cut them off or call security. Later in the afternoon, we noticed the groom and one attendant (there were only 5 total) were not with the rest of the group playing bocce on the lawn. A glance over at their cabana, and I saw it was zipped up completely. At the end of the night when we were cleaning it out, there were 2 condom wrappers (no actual condoms, thank goodness). Whether they were going at it with each other or with a willing not-bride lady or two, I don’t know. But two years later the bride and two of her bridesmaids came back (I remembered her bright red hair) and she didn’t have her ring. It’s not my place to ask, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she found out about the cabana tryst.
Ex-wedding photographer here. This one couple we shot were in their late thirties, both grumpy, unkind, and just unpleasant to be around. The groom didn’t seem to take care of his hygiene or appearance even on his wedding day. His hair was unbrushed and had the shiny look that only comes from it being unwashed. His tie was in a loose knot around his neck. If I remember correctly he had very few groomsmen–less than three and one was his dad–which isn’t uncommon, but it seemed like another red flag in a f***g flag day of red flags. I asked him if he’d like to go outside to get some solo groomsman shots before the ceremony. While we were riding in the elevator together down to the street he looked at himself in the reflective metal door and said to himself, as if I wasn’t there at all, “What the fk are you doing?” I was at a loss for words. I think I said some weak platitude like, “Everyone gets nervous.” There’s no way in hell they’re still together.
“Regardless, the couple must stick together and avoid siding with parents against each other. They may need the parents for financial and organizational aid but to give up too much control to them might hurt their marriage.”Meanwhile, Dr. Betchen urged marrying couples to get in touch with their partners’ anxiety about the entire event. “For example, one partner may be worried about the expense of the wedding and the other may be concerned about what the family or friends think if they fail to throw an elaborate celebration. Simply put, weddings mean different things to different people, therefore it would help to understand where your partner is coming from to better negotiate with them and to avoid a control struggle that will start the couple off on the wrong foot,” he said.“I have seen couples who have never gotten over the trauma of a chaotic and hurtful wedding experience.”Dr. Betchen is the host of the‘Magnetic Partners’blog on Psychology Today and the author of‘Couples in Conflict,’‘Unmet Expectations in Couple and Sex Therapy,’andother bestsellers.
“Regardless, the couple must stick together and avoid siding with parents against each other. They may need the parents for financial and organizational aid but to give up too much control to them might hurt their marriage.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Betchen urged marrying couples to get in touch with their partners’ anxiety about the entire event. “For example, one partner may be worried about the expense of the wedding and the other may be concerned about what the family or friends think if they fail to throw an elaborate celebration. Simply put, weddings mean different things to different people, therefore it would help to understand where your partner is coming from to better negotiate with them and to avoid a control struggle that will start the couple off on the wrong foot,” he said.
“I have seen couples who have never gotten over the trauma of a chaotic and hurtful wedding experience.”
Dr. Betchen is the host of the‘Magnetic Partners’blog on Psychology Today and the author of‘Couples in Conflict,’‘Unmet Expectations in Couple and Sex Therapy,’andother bestsellers.
Oh man. The poor bride was 6 months pregnant at the time of the wedding, puking regularly. The groom was 3 hours late to the ceremony. By hour 2, he hadn’t even picked up his tux. The venue almost cancelled the reception because the groom’s number was the only contact they had and nobody knew what was going on. He finally showed up and everything went as planned, albeit 3 hours later.
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Am wedding planner as well as officiant. I forgot to ask for and sign this couple’s marriage license (I sign and send to the county for recording). So I texted the bride and she said oh, no need, we haven’t gotten our license yet and we’ll do it legally a different day. Okkkkkkkk…..A few months later she’s with husband/not husband’s BFF. And now they’re engaged.I wonder if she’ll be a repeat customer of mine?
The bride got pregnant and the groom decided to “do the right thing and marry her” I am not sure it was the right thing to do. They decided to have a wedding at a Casino in the little chapel and have the reception in the ball room. She was so demanding, rude, insulting and difficult to the minister, that the minister said she was about to not perform the ceremony. This minister did weddings at a casino, where I am sure half of marriages fall apart. The groom had to convince her to go through with the ceramony. The minister was hard to hear and completely monotone. The chapel was not big. During the reception her family member gave a toast and said something like, “Bride has never been happy in her life, but hopefully this marriage will make her happy.” They are still married 2 years later, but ‘joke’ about when they find their next husband or wife after they divorce. She is the most unpleasant person and we all cringe when we have to see her.
Wedding photographer here. Two things come to mind. In one instance the bride and groom just could not be bothered to be seen together at the wedding. I had to virtually drag them for getting some photos of the two of them together and they kept walking off hang out with their friends. It would be one thing if they hadn’t seen their friends in forever but one friend they lived with and the others were in the same town.The other one was a groom who looked like he was 16 (he was actually 21 but was tiny and looked young). When I started taking photos he said, in all seriousness, “You have to tell me what I need to do, this is my first time getting married…I’ll do better next time”. Turns out the wedding only happened because the bride’s mother was dying and the bride wanted her mother to see her get married.
I worked at a bar while at Uni and we got booked to do the catering and drinks for a wedding at the local Botanic Gardens. IT was the most schizophrenic wedding I’ve even seen - half classy, half bogan.The string quartet alternated between classical and Metallica and Bon Jovi covers. The Hors d’oeuvres included Caviar and cocktail weenies on toothpicks.I wasn’t sure if they were both trying to be “Classi” but couldn’t fully commit, or the groom was just straight up bogan marrying a rich girl.At the end, when we were packing up after everyone had gone home, there were two people left. The Bride and the Father of the bride. She was on the phone to her new husband. He had disappeared, so when she called him, he told her he had left and was at the pub with his mates.
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I catered weddings for several years, and the subtle sign I always paid attention to was how closely the bride and groom sat next to each other during the speeches, dinner, etc.The happy couples were always right on top of each other, sharing food, laughing, and just generally chatting. They were in their own world, while the rest of the wedding went on around them.Other times, the two would be practically on the other side of the table from one another. The groom would spend the whole meal turned away chatting with his groomsmen, while the bride looked the other way staring into space.Families can be a******s, people get drunk, and nightmares happen, especially as the night progresses, but if you don’t care enough to appreciate the presence of your spouse the very first time you sit down next to them, you have no chance once the real world takes over.
Audio guy here. Groom passed out not once but twice during the ceremony. Like standing there… gee this guy isn’t looking well, BAM. Groom on the deck.Smelling salts, we get him up. Get him some water and orange juice… get through the vows and yep… here he goes again, not as bad.How bout we just sit down on the steps and finish the ring ceremony?The whole time his brother, the best man has that look like “I really should just scoop and run with him out of here….”The poor bride has the worst look on her face like omg what do I do?6 months later, it was over.
I do wedding photography - can I play?I second-shot at a very large, extravagant wedding. The wedding party were all sorority sisters and fraternity brothers at rival schools. There were 24 of them (12 bridesmaids, 12 groomsmen). The couple’s family had clearly spent a lot of money, especially on the decorations. Also, Ben Stein was there for some reason.The first thing the father of the bride said to me was a complaint about the groom. The groom didn’t like the way the suits turned out, and insisted that all of the men return to the shop that morning to get something else. (Those poor menswear shop employees…)I met the groom when it was time to do groomsmen photos, which I generally handled solo while the main photographer did bridesmaid photos. We typically do some posed shots and some informal ones. Well, the groom flat-out refused to do any posed photos. I can usually convince reluctant subjects to just do the thing, but he absolutely WOULD NOT do a single group photo. I seem to remember I finally managed to get some informal photos (like I was their paparazzi or something), but that was all he’d allow. As we were walking back to the main reception area, he told me he didn’t even want to get married. “This is all her thing.“My photos weren’t very good. I was working for this a*****e studio manager, and I figured I’d get in trouble later and possibly wouldn’t be hired again, but there wasn’t much I could do. Photogs were responsible for specific coverage and types of images, to the point that we were on the hook financially. I was worried the couple would complain later about the lack of groomsmen photos. As it turns out, nobody ever said anything about it, and I was stressing over nothing. I have to imagine the studio owner knew about the groomzilla after planning coverage with them.I sometimes think about that couple. I hope they’re not together anymore. The bride was really sweet, if naive and a little superficial. She put a lot of work into that wedding. I hope she found someone who deserved it.
I am an assistant to a wedding planner. This may be long. TLDR at the end.In a nut shell, I don’t have to do any of the planning. I just meet with the wedding planner and couple a day or two prior to do a walk through and figure out exactly where the couple want what, and miscellaneous things. Day of the wedding I am an extra set of hands to set everything up and help coordinate getting everyone where they should be. Basically just the wedding planner’s bh.I will never forget this wedding. It was at a church in the middle of a ghetto neighborhood. Super small, no parking, free church. The ceremony was in the church room (what the heck is the name of that?!) and the reception is in a room in the back of the church. I show up day of and the wedding planner gives me the look. You know the look. The St just went sour look. Turns out the bride changed everything for the wedding. She cancelled the rentals and bought everything from the dollar store. She had a write up 3 pages long (that she made the night before) about how she wants everything. We had planned for the rental company to set up tables (table cloths, plated, silverware. Glassware, napkins, etc). So now I am running around frantically trying to get everything done. The dollar store st looked cheesy and gross. While I’m running around like a chicken with no head, the pastor’s wife stops the wedding planner (also running around) and starts bitching/yelling about how we are behind schedule and ruining everything. Forgot to add, wedding planner is 8 months pregnant at this point. The pastor’s wife yells at the wedding planner so hard that the wedding planner ends up having an asthma attack. She calms it down and leaves to go down get her inhaler. Turns out, the asthma attack caused her to start having contractions, which definitely wasn’t great. Off to the ER she goes. St, I have 2 hours until the wedding and I have zero help. I end up calling in one of the other assistants to help me. What a life saver. Once we finish decorating guests start arriving and we have about 20 minutes until the wedding starts. We go find the bride and inform her that the wedding planner is in the hospital but we have everything under control. Bride freaks the fk out. How dare she have to go to the ER. Maid of Honor gets her under control and we tell them one of us will come get them when it is ready to start. Perfect. We go find the groom, tell him the story of the asthma/contractions/ER wedding planner. Does he freak out? No. He gives us both a huge hug and tells us he will keep the bride happy. God he was great, big hearted person.Wedding happens, bride is a b**h to everyone, and the groom is super fantastic. Groom smashed cake into Brides face during the cake ceremony and she storms off. She and her bridesmaids get drunk outside in the back of the church for the rest of the wedding. Groom even helps us clean up at the end and then carries his passed out wife into his car.I got an update recently from them: They are expecting their 5th kid. I feel hella bad for the husband. He deserves a better wife.TLDR: Bride changed everything the day before. Pastor’s wife puts Wedding Planner into ER, Groom is amazing, Bride can rot in hell, and they are expecting their 5th kid.
Not a wedding planner, but my girlfriend’s mother just made a bridal gown for an acquaintance of ours.The girl drove 3 hours up to where we live for the fitting. We invited her fiancé as well, but he was wishy-washy and eventually decided not to come.The entire time she was here she had a great time and she spoke casually about how easily he gets angry and throws tantrums like a 2 year old. He called her that night and told her that he was mad that she came up here without him. Said some really nasty stuff to her too and reduced her to tears. He said if he couldn’t be having a good time then she shouldn’t be either, so he was going to go to Disney world alone next month to spite her.I should mention that he’s pretty well-set with money while she has no form of income. So the Disney thing was a total power play to say “I can give and take whatever I want. I want you to remember that I have that power.“Anyway, mom finishes the dress next week and then drives 3 hours to deliver it. Girlfriend’s mom even bought a hotel room for the night in case she had to be on site make any quick alterations. The bride didn’t even come meet my girlfriend’s mom. She just sent her a text asking her to leave the dress with a friend. We suspect the fiancé had forbidden her from seeing us again since she had such a good time with us and he hadn’t been involved.Here we are two weeks later and my girlfriend’s mom still hasn’t received payment (which was agreed upon beforehand) for the dress or even any kind of thank-you.Apparently, he asked some of our other friends to cater the whole wedding without offering to pay.TL;DR: Sweet girl with an emotionally unstable and controlling guy who hasn’t bothered to pay us for services rendered.
I’ve been an event planner for many many years but 1 wedding stands out because it happened early in my career. I don’t recall too much about the couple but the parents were unforgettable. Both sets were divorced & both hated each other. By the time the wedding came around, all 4 parents hated each other & had to be seated in the 4 corners of the room far away from each other. Strangest thing I’ve ever seen. Worse part was that each & every one of them were sulking about the seating arrangements. Its been at least 25 yrs since that wedding & I often wondered how long that marriage lasted with that many immature parents in the picture.
I was assisting the event coordinator for a smaller venue. This was a smallish wedding, amazingly nice bride and groom, horrible mother of the groom. Throughout the evening, the bride kept disappearing to the bathroom with one of her bridesmaids, who told me she was sick. Feeling bad for her, I got her some ginger ale and went to check on her in the bathroom. I hand her the glass, ask her how she is, and she immediately blurts out, “I’m pregnant!” And bursts into tears. Apparently the groom’s mom was very against premarital sex so no one else knew. I felt bad for her. No idea what happened.
As a bandleader in NYC I at least twice thought, “This guy’s gay.” Voice and occupation mostly. This was years before same-sex marriage.
I catered a wedding. The bride was a b***h who only wanted her way. The groom was a wuss (Sorry Jay) and let her do what she wanted.11 months later, he moved out. Now they are divorced. Oh, they were both barely 21 when they got married.
Not a wedding planner but a florist for 6 years. We averaged 2 weddings a weekend mostly higher middle income people. Im started a game after the first year with a coworker just about guessing what couples would stay together. It’s sad how many separate after a few years must have been 20% or so on the ones we could track through facebook or from brides calling crying. The only common pattern was 0 gay couples separated and would actually come visit our shop and keep in contact. We had about 6-7 gay weddings a year.Besides that point I was a champ at guessing I would always guess the ones no one saw coming. One day we have this couple fighting all day. At one point the bride hit her husband pretty hard in the neck they did not look happy an obvious one to pick for devorice. They visited 3 times after they got married always fighting when they came into the shop….. that being said both had their own strong ideals and where 100% true to who they were not changing for anyone. Ill live my life like this and continue searching for a girl that is strong and can make their own decisions.This couple inspired me. They made me think about the number of girls I’ve dated that just say “sure” or “ok” to everything. Unable to make decisions for themselves and be who they are. They would always just live my life and do the things I wanted to do. The worst part if is that you don’t know what they like or who they are after a few months of dating because they just do what you do.
Wedding DJ here. I meet with brides all the time. I remember meeting with a bride who kept touching me behind her (soon to be) husbands back. I even saw her after the wedding recently and she gave me a full body hug, which kind of turned me on, tbh. LolBut yeah, I’ve been thinking to myself, I could take this so much further if I wanted to. My mum taught me better though.Last time I checked they were still married, which makes them together now for less than a year. I’m going to give it one more year for them. :/
Photographer here. Filipino groom, Korean bride. Both early twenties, she was very noticeably pregnant. I knew the groom’s family. Closest thing I’ve ever seen to a shotgun wedding.
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