There are millions of things people can be proud of, which is why one’s greatestachievementsdon’t always coincide with what others are proud of the most.
This redditor—a mom of three—got into a heated discussion about such achievements with her neighbors. One of them assumed that the three wonderful children were her greatest accomplishment in life, which is why when she said that they weren’t, people around were shocked and even suggested that she seek help.
People’s greatest accomplishments tend to differ from person to person
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This woman said she resented the assumption that having kids is her greatest accomplishment
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Changing certain deeply ingrained beliefs might take time
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According to Dr. Amy Blackstone, motherhood and womanhood are so intertwined that to disentangle them is, for many, blasphemous. “Yet these are distinct concepts,” she pointed out in a recent interview withBored Panda. “We tend to link these two concepts because we live in a pronatalist society where our political, economic, and religious institutions are designed to encourage childbearing.”
The expert continued to suggest that within this system, women are taught that motherhood is the greatest thing they can aspire to and achieve.
“Teaching women that motherhood is the one and only role they should aspire to—or at least the only important role than can achieve—not only severely limits their potential, it totally dismisses the millions of women who either can’t or don’t want to become mothers and the millions of women who are mothers and achieve so much in addition to that singular role,” she said.
Comparing mothers with their male counterparts, Prof. Blackstone pointed out that while men are socialized toward parenthood as are women, they are not limited to a single role in the way that women are. “Men are expected—and believed to be capable of—achieving success in multiple roles. Again, this goes back to the project of pronatalism which relies on the production of new workers for the economy and new worshippers for our religious institutions. Women are expected to bear those new workers and worshippers and to raise them.”
Needless to say, both men and women are more than just someone’sparentswhen they acquire such a title. But in many people’s views, there is no greater accomplishment than bringing someone precious into this world. And while there is nothing wrong with such a view—if one feels like being a parent is what they’re most proud of—it doesn’t necessarily mean that all moms and dads feel the same way; nor does it mean that the others love their children any less.
According to Dr. Blackstone, changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. “Multiple waves of the feminist movement have worked to change this – from the first wave’s efforts focused on voting rights to more recent efforts focused on expanding our views of gender more generally,” she said, adding that we’ve already witnessed decades of a slow but sure chipping away at the narrow and limiting belief that women can only fulfill one role.
For many people, raising a child is the most important achievement
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Bearing in mind that parenthood andprofessional lifeare usually two of the most time-consuming things in one’s life, it is natural that many of their achievements relate to exactly that. However, surveyees also shared feeling proud of traveling on their own, learning a new skill, or volunteering, among other personal wins.
The survey found that close to half of the respondents regretted not having moremoments they’re proud ofin their life, and close to a third of them said it might be difficult to find something that provides a true sense of accomplishment.
Some netizens sided with the woman, saying that she was not a jerk in the situation
Others shared different opinions
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