Sometimes, a relationship can be full of red flags, and a person will still refuse to see the signs. This is often because toxic partners are so good at manipulation andgaslightingthat they can get away with saying and doing the most unhinged things possible.
A man who fits that exact profile suddenly decided that his girlfriend had poisoned his food. His big tip-off was the bottles ofmayonnaisein his fridge that seemed as liquidy as soy sauce. He sent his partner a bunch of crazy texts about it that stunned her.
More info:Reddit
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The 31-year-old woman shared texts her 46-year-old boyfriend had sent her, hinting that something was wrong with his mayo and saying that her absence was “super weird”
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Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The guy kept insisting that he knew the “viscosity” of the mayo and that something had changed about it—in not just one bottle, but two
After a lot of back and forth, the guy told his girlfriend she hadn’t succeeded in poisoning him yet and that he was onto her because they “watch the same shows”
People were concerned about the woman and told her that there was definitely something wrong with herboyfriendif he was coming up with such stories about her. They were also shocked about the 15-year age gap between the couple and wondered if the man had too much control over her.
Despite so many red flags in the relationship, it doesn’t seem like the woman wanted to or even considered breaking up with her boyfriend. Things are obviously way more complicated when you’re actually dating a person like this. To understand how to handle these kinds of toxic relationships,Bored Pandareached out toDr. Chloe Carmichael.
She is a clinical psychologist and USA Today bestsellingauthorof the ‘10 Commandments of Dating.’ She has a BA in Psychology from Columbia University and a Master’s and Doctorate of Philosophy in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.
Dr. Chloe explained, “Sometimes people tend to stay with toxic partners so long despite manyred flagsbecause they already get very invested in the relationship before they see the signs. Other times, it’s because the other person waits a long time before they reveal who they really are.”
The OP had also admitted in another post that her insecurities became more heightened because of how her boyfriend kept gaslighting her. He had even cheated on her at the beginning of their relationship. he would forgive him every time for his disrespectful actions, hoping that things would improve between them.
We also reached out toSherry Gaba, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist in California and Florida who offers coaching worldwide. She is the author of ‘Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love.’
Sherry told us, “Partners may stay in relationships despite red flags due to emotional attachment and hope that things will improve over time. Additionally, fear of change, loneliness, or a belief that they can fix the issues often keeps them from leaving.”
Image credits:benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One thing that really stands out from the texts the man sent was how suspicious he seemed of hisgirlfriend. Even after she told him she didn’t have any idea what he was talking about and that she didn’t eat mayo, he kept insisting that she had sabotaged his food. It must be tough to handle a partner who is so skeptical of everything you say and do.
Sherrytold us, “To handle a suspicious or obsessive partner, it’s crucial to maintain open and honest communication, addressing their concerns while setting clear boundaries. Encouraging them to express their feelings and seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can also provide support in navigating these challenges.”
She explained that it’s really important to “encourage them to recognize the signs of toxicity and build a support system of friends or family who can provide emotional backing. Help them create a safety plan if needed, and remind them of their worth and strengths to foster self-empowerment.”
Many netizens also suggested that the man probably needed counseling and that he could be dealing with some kind ofmental healthissue. It would be great if the guy sought some form of therapy, but convincing him to do that would probably be another struggle.
Dr. Chloeexplained that “if they’re willing to acknowledge it and make an earnest effort to work on it, then that can be helpful. A lot of times, people can get kind of set in their patterns, and unless they take ownership to change, it can almost become a trap for the victim.”
Image credits:Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s clear as day that the OP constantly has to deal with her partner’s accusations, suspicions, and reckless behavior. Even though it might be easy for everyone to tell the woman to leave, that’s incredibly hard to do.Researchfound that nearly 6 out of every 10 people have stayed in a bad or unfulfilling relationship for a long time.
Dr. Chloe explained that “sometimes you just have to leave. If you have a chance to leave, take it. It is important, though, to also be reflective and ask yourself if there was something thatattracted youto this. Sometimes, people with insecurities can actually get drawn to these kinds of relationships.
“Tobreak awayfrom a toxic partner, you should have a lot of emotional support, so maybe have a regular appointment with a therapist. Or have a breakup buddy, somebody that you’ll call before taking or making a call to your ex.”
“Finally, it can be good to make a list of the top five reasons why you’re breaking up. For example, the intrusive,paranoidthings that the person did, because sometimes we can forget about those things when feeling nostalgic and missing the person,” she added.
What do you think must be going on in the guy’s mind for him to have jumped to such a conclusion?
People felt that the boyfriend’s reaction to watery mayo was too extreme and wondered why he’d ever think that way
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