Family gatherings are like a mixed bag of candy – sweet, but occasionally filled with something sour. They offer the perfect chance to catch up with people you don’t get to see that often, make memories, and share a few laughs. But sometimes, these visits can turn into improvised soap operas, filled with drama and some really strong opinions.
This is what happened to the protagonist of this story when her in-laws were getting ready for afamily visitwith their toddler, turning what should have been a fun visit into a heated exchange of words.
More info:Reddit
Image credits:Alicia (not the actual photo)
Image credits:angryyetsensitivemom
The woman’s sister-in-law was never nice to her, refusing to invite her to their wedding or birthday parties
Image credits:Natasha Hall (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
The sister-in-law demands the crib for their visit, despite the mom offering to buy a travel crib for her nephew or suggesting they split the cost of renting one
The woman asks her husband to deal with his family, making it clear that the pack-n-play was the final offer and demanding an apology before she’ll accept hosting them
Now, Jane and her sister-in-law have never been best friends. They’ve had their differences over the years, and the sister-in-law has never been nice to Jane. She didn’t even invite her to their wedding, birthdays, and even refused to get her hair and makeup done for Jane’s wedding despite being a bridesmaid. So, when the sister-in-law insisted that her son should sleep in Jane’s 5-month-old daughter’s crib, our leading lady was understandably hesitant.
Jane explained to her sister-in-law that her daughter needed the crib more and that there had to be another solution, but the woman was only going to accept her way and nothing else. Her answer created tensions between the two women when the sister-in-law suggested to Jane that, if she can’t accommodate their needs, they shouldn’t visit at all. After that heated exchange, communication had gone radio silent, but the visit was still on the calendar.
Image credits:RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
What do the experts have to say about this situation? Well, according totherapists, conflicts with a family member can create tensions in other relationships too. Trying to change a difficult family member might be pointless, as the more effort one puts in, the more demands the challenging individual tends to make.
So, what is the best way to deal with those people you are not very fond of and didn’t choose to have in your life, but circumstances have brought you together and you’re forced to deal with them because they’re family?
While it might be tempting to try to help afamilymember, “sometimes it works, but often your efforts will not be rewarded. In fact, trying to fix someone or make their life better may become a huge headache, since the more you do for them, the more they want from you,” experts explain. Instead of trying to fix a difficult person, focus on your own well-being first and don’t allow any relationship to challenge that.
But how can we deal withspecial occasions, such as holidays, or family visits, when we are forced to spend time with the difficult member, just like Jane’s situation? Experts would advise “to plan ahead so that you have a good idea about how time will be spent with relatives. Don’t leave too much unplanned time; you don’t want to get into a situation where you’re left alone with a difficult family member with whom you have an issue or conflict.”
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