One woman was left feeling bereft after coming to the conclusion that her little sister wasn’t planning on inviting her or her family to her wedding. Hurt and confused, she turned to Mumsnet to lament her situation.
More info:Mumsnet
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Image credits:Spora Weddings / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Woman hosted little sister’s religious and cultural wedding ceremony at her house
Image credits:NUR DOĞAN / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Woman knew sister also had a civil ceremony and traditional English wedding planned
Image credits:Alem Sánchez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Sister eagerly revealed all her wedding plans, but failed to invite woman or any family
Hurt and confused, the woman turned to the web for some outside perspective on the rejection
The family knew that the sister would go on to have a civil ceremony (as well as a traditional English wedding) this year but were shocked to not receive any invitations. OP adds that her sister’s been spilling all the details about the grand event but hasn’t mentioned an exact date.
OP says she’s now figured out when the ceremonies are and expected at least a verbal invite, but nothing. She goes on to add that the groom’s family are coming in from everywhere and that thegroomregularly eats at her mom’s house, so it’s not like there’s been a lack of opportunity to discuss the lavish affair or extend an invitation.
She says she’s bereft and a bit shell shocked. She’s also confused as to why she and her family might be excluded, and worried about how best to navigate her relationship with her selfish sister in the future.
The bride’s family did nothing but support and accept her decision to marry outside the culture, so why were they sidelined? It’s only natural that OP and her family should be feeling rejected.
Image credits:Mental Health America (MHA) / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In herarticlefor Psychology Today, Michelle P. Maidenberg writes that, in astudymeasuring neurological responses to social rejection, the brain system showed significant activations in certain regions.
The study’s results proved that our experience with rejection is comparable to that of physical pain. Since our most basic human needs include connection and social acceptance, when that’s at risk, it literally hurts us.
In herbook,Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, Lori Gottlieb explains that this is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history. We existed in cooperative societies and, for most of history, we depended on those groups for survival.
“When somebody rejects us, there’s a very primal piece to it, which is that it goes against everything we feel like we need for survival,” says Gottlieb.
Maidenberg puts forward 8 ways to managerejection. Some include practicing acceptance, processing your feelings and linking them directly to your values, treating yourself compassionately, not allowing rejection to define you, and being curious about your expectations and attachments.
But what if OP is blaming herself for her sister’s rejection? In herarticlefor Choosing Therapy, Jennifer Hickson writes that there are some people who can only criticize themselves and always view themselves in a negative light.
Hickson suggests some pointers to start turning your self-rejection into self-acceptance. These include challenging your inner critic and replacing self-loathing thoughts with more positive ones, engaging in activities you enjoy to build up your self-worth and confidence, and surrounding yourself with people who appreciate your good attributes.
Perhaps OP would do well to confront her sister about the snubbing so she can uncover the reason for the rejection and start dealing with it proactively. Ignoring it may only lead to more unpleasantness in therelationship.
Netizens urged the woman to ask her sister about it as soon as possible and speculated that the family’s attendance at the wedding might be assumed
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