Depending on where you are from, every time you look at a restaurant menu, you might be doing some mental back-of-the-napkin math to calculate the tip at the end. For others, what you see is what you get, unless the service is above and beyond. But what happens when you get a request for a tip from someone like a therapist?
In some places, a tip is almost universally expected
Image credits:Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
But one parent was shocked when a family therapist asked them to give $20 on top of their regular payments
Image credits:Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits:ConfidentSession7848
Tipping culture is greatly varied
One issue that complicates the question of tipping is the fact that opinions on it can greatly differ depending on where you are. Americans, for better or worse, tend to expect10-20% every single time, while in Japan, giving a tip isseen as insultingto the server. However, it’s worth noting that in Japan, one can actually give a tip, but there is a whole rigmarole around how it’s presented.
So if you are eating out in Japan, which you should, it’s a food culture without parallel, it’s good to include the cash in aspecially marked envelopefirst, which is a non-verbal way to let the staff know that it’s a tip. It’s also more discreet than waving around cash, which is generally considered a plus in Japan. Of course, if this all seems too complicated, you will be absolutely fine if you don’t tip at all.
Image credits:Sam Dan Truong (not the actual photo)
But in the US, it’s actually becoming more common
Of course, the common factor here is that one only expects tipping in a food or beverage service environment, so even if one lives in a country where tips are socially mandatory, you tend to not expect it from every single transaction. In a few countries, you might also tip other workers, like hotel staff, hairdressers, guides, or drivers, but it’s shockingly rare to hear about anyone even thinking about tipping a doctor, for example, or a therapist.
Americans may have already noticed that there is a growing social pressure to tip, as many locations “default” to asking for it, instead of the expectation. Even worse, some places havestarted asking for as muchas 30 and 40%, a far cry from the 10% tips of the past. This, naturally, has caused many people to evaluate the entire concept of tipping.
Image credits:Allef Vinicius (not the actual photo)
However, a therapist asking for a tip is still not acceptable
On the other hand, service workershave reportedthat tips, even if they aren’t a major part of their salary, do actually help them mentally, as service jobs can feel demeaning, even before one factor in the worst customers taking out their anger issues on you. Of course, there are just as many service staff who have mastered the long pauses and smiles necessary to pressure people pleasers into handing over their money.
OP is absolutely right to immediately stop working with this person, as a therapist willing to make unethical requests for $20 is likely capable of a lot more. However, many readers also commented (visible below) that they should still continue sending their kid to therapy. Chore or not, a child’s mental health is significantly more important than a parent having to run an extra “errand.”
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Most readers thought OP was absolutely in the right
Others thought they should still look for another one
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