But not all siblings are equally eager to spend their time making sure that their beloved annoying brother or sister is safe and sound; especially while on vacation.This redditor’sadult children seemingly weren’t. When the parent bought afamily vacation, they expected that the older siblings would look after the little ones at least a couple of nights during the getaway, but the kids weren’t too happy with such an arrangement.
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It’s not uncommon for parents to expect help with childcare from their older kids
Image credits:Prostock-studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
This parent thought their older children could watch the little ones during their family vacation
Image credits:varyapigu / Envato (not the actual photo)
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Children assuming parental roles might have detrimental effects
You don’t have to be a firstborn to know what it’s like to have to watch over the little ones in the family;middle childrenare not exempt from it, either, nor are only children with younger cousins, for instance. Since many people are familiar with such child care arrangements, they might not think twice about it – helping parents out is rather commonplace, if not expected, in many families. But some people doubt that that should be the case, bearing in mind that the children don’t choose to bring kids into this world, nor do they ask for the responsibility of looking after their siblings.
In some cases, such arrangements entail not much more than lending a helping hand every once in a while, which might not have significant negative outcomes. However, under certain circumstances—growing up with an abusive parent, for instance—children assuming the role of a caregiver can be seriously detrimental to their own well-being.
Known as parentification, the phenomenon of children undertaking developmentally inappropriate parent-like roles and responsibilities (usually parenting their own parent, or in some cases, their siblings) can lead to them having to bear a load way too heavy for their age.A studyfrom 2023 found that parentification might lead tochildrenperceiving “their obligatory adult roles negatively, as unfair and ‘robbing’ them of their childhood, and experiencing stress, role overload, and resentment”.
The study suggested that parentified youth might have limited opportunities to learn, observe, and utilize positive coping strategies, which usually derive from parental influence. However, under some—less severe and detrimental—circumstances, parentification or dimensions of parentification were reportedly linked with beneficial outcomes such as social competence.
The majority of people reportedly have a good relationship with their sibling
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When kids are not involved to the extent of parentification, helping moms and dads with looking after their siblings is not necessarily a bad thing. Some would even argue that spending time with one’s brothers and sisters—even if they wouldn’t necessarily choose to do that themselves at that time—might lead to a better relationship between thesiblingsin the long run.
For quite a few people, that tends to be the case. You might second the idea if you were an older sibling who couldn’t go outside unless you took your little brother with you, for instance; or if you were the said little brother, blissfully unaware of the price your sibling had to pay in order to go outside, and simply happy to be there. Though at that time, it likely was annoying, chances are, you now have a close relationship with your sibling.
According to Gitnux, brothers and sisters tend to spend more time together than they do with their parents or friends; and whether consequently or not, as many as four-in-five people say they have a positive relationship with said person they spend so much of their lives with.
Some, however, saw nothing wrong with such expectations
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