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When a behavior happens once or twice, it might be an accident or coincidence, but if it’s done over and over, it’s a pattern
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The author had noticed a pattern of her family leaving her out of certain things, especially events and celebrations
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Her younger sister was pregnant but stated that only their parents and her husband’s parents would be allowed to visit the hospital
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This left her very upset, and she hung up in tears before telling her mother about how she felt, but the response was dismissive
When she asked why she wasn’t invited to the hospital, her mom said that she assumed the OP wouldn’t be able to leave work. In reality, OP could have, though. Her manager was more than understanding. Feeling completely blindsided, OP hung up in tears and later confronted her mother, only to receive the dismissive response: “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
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PsychCentralhighlights various forms of exclusion in family, and one of them includes situations where a family member is consistently left out of activities, jokes, or stories. They go further to state that this kind of exclusion can set the stage for future struggles in relationships and self-worth, as individuals may begin to expect exclusion from people in their lives and feel inherently flawed.
The OP’s manager maintained that her mother’s response was a form of gaslighting, andSimply Psychologywould agree. They explain that gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that makes someone doubt their own memories and perception of reality. They point out that this sort of behavior is particularly harmful inrelationships,including one between parents and children.
LifeDevexplains that while family is often seen as a support system, there are times when this relationship can cause more harm than good. In such cases, going low contact with family members can be a healthy choice just as netizens suggested. This approach involves minimizing communication and interaction and is often adopted to reduce emotional exhaustion or escape toxic family dynamics.
Netizens affirmed that the OP was not overreacting since her family has repeatedly shown a pattern of exclusion. However, others were curious if there was a deeper reason behind the exclusion, questioning whether OP had unintentionally distanced herself in the past or if someone in the family had misrepresented her feelings.
They also urged the OP to go low-contact with her family. What do you think? Do you think it’s okay to set boundaries with family, even if it means distancing yourself? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens affirmed that the author wasn’t wrong for hanging up as it’s obvious her family doesn’t care about her
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