Anyone who has seen an unruly or loud child in public has probably immediately assumed theparentswere simply negligent and that any child you might have would simply be better behaved. Of course, practice is generally a lot harder than theory, as many new parents discover.
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Tantruming or screaming in public places. I thought if they can’t behave, don’t take them out! Quickly realized the only way to teach them how to behave in public is to take them out!
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“Because I said so”. I swore id never use that phrase. I would explain things to my kid instead. And I do. But after the third or fourth time explaining the exact same thing you just gotta take a bath because I said so.
For me, it was leashes for toddlers. I’d ask myself, ‘What kind of monster would chain their kid to a leash!’ Now I have a toddler, and I can totally see why people might need a leash in public places
Gentle parenting. As strange as that sounds. I thought “getting your a*s whooped” was normal. I was raised in an abusive neglectful home. I knew I had it bad growing up (my parents were alcoholics/addicts, mom overdosed when I was 21) but after having kids I realized just how bad.Now that I’m a parent in a stable healthy home environment, I see how seriously important it is to try to be calm and gentle with my kids. I would never “beat them with the belt” as I had heard SO many times growing up.
Dirty cars and car seats.Now I’ve learned that mess just comes with the territory
Definitely public meltdowns.Now having a daughter with sensory issues, I only feel heartache now when I hear/see it.It sucks.
Older kids in strollers. My twins were still using the stroller at 4. I didn’t have a car, if we’re going out for a 6 hour outing to the city I’m absolutely taking the stroller, much safer crossing the road or walking through crowds and somewhere to crash when they’re ready for a nap.
Making special food for their kids. Judged them so hard for that. Now I’m a short order cook. Ah well.
I was never going to bribe my child. I was going to teach him to be respectful and behave without the promise of candy/fruit snacks/screen time. Bahahahaahha. I was young, so full of hope.
Basically everything- screen time- kids on a leash- carrying a screaming kid out of a store and leaving a cart behind for someone else to deal with- cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner- going out in public with food slopped on their clothes (mom or kid)I was a great parent before I had a kid lol.
A kid cried through almost an entire 8 hour red eye flight. Back then, I thought geez why don’t the parents do something? Now: those poor parents. That toddler is emotionally abusive.
Parents who discipline their kids in public. I’m not talking spankings, but the loud stern talking too that the whole store can hear. I get it now.
Carrying your kid in your arms when you have a stroller : “Why do you even buy a stroller if you don’t put your kid in it, stupid parent?“Yeah I learned the hard way why XD.
It was never out loud, but I judged parents that said their kid “saved” them from their previous bad life styles or choices or mental health issues or whatever else. It seemed like a lot to put on a kid and if you need help managing (which is normal and reasonable) you should lean on an adult not tiny person who will potentially feel responsible for managing everyone else’s emotions once they’re grown. But then I had a kid. And all of my bad habits and questionable coping mechanisms became painfully obvious and I realized I had to learn how to deal with life in a healthy way if I was going to be a good example and emotionally present parent. It’s caused me to work on some things I wouldn’t have otherwise and has kind of saved me.
Children at Brewery’s. Now I know brewery’s with their beautiful wide open green grassy spaces so kids can run off their energy and delicious ice cold beer so parents can drown their sorrows are MADE for parents 😂.
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Picky eating children. “Just make them eat what you are making…” or “I’ll never be a short order cook making separate meals…”. But alas. I picked other battles to fight and here I am, making 3 meals a night. Ugh.
Co sleeping. I had never been so sleep deprived in my life after an entire month of waking up every 45 minutes to 2 hours. I now understand the “survival mode” reason for co sleeping.
It was the leashes for us too. We have 5 kids, 4 of them were perfectly content staying right with us for the most part, the oldest boy would literally take off running for the street though.
Buhahaha I used to tell friends “just bring your kid to blah blah blah! They can nap in the car!”Umm no. It’s not that easy I was so dumb lol.
Screen time at a restaurant. We rarely hand over a phone, but sometimes the wait for food is long, and we’ve exhausted all our other resources. Screens are a tool
Picky eaters. My kids weren’t going to live on chicken nuggets and pizza. My kids would eat whatever we eat.I have one who will try whatever and eat what he likes, and one who only eats standard kid food.
Potty training late. And then my first kid had some developmental delays and didn’t potty train fully until just shy of age 4. Karma.
I remember going on our annual family vacation for the first time after my wife and I were newly married. My sister-in-law would start bedtime routine for their then 6 and 8 year olds at 7pm. I thought that was the most insane millennial helicopter s**t I’d ever seen. Sure enough I have a 5 and 7 year old and bedtime routine starts at 7pm.
That my son wasn’t going to gorge on snacks.Snacks were a forbidden treat in my house so naturally I developed a binge eating disorder and a healthy dose of attached shame, so I consulted a pediatric therapist and we agreed to have a variety of snacks available to be had with no shame attached. He was also offered 3 balanced meals a day to try and promote healthy eating whilst not focusing on it, unfortunately as it happens my boy is autistic and has ADHD and at this point if all he’s eaten in the day is 4 oranges and a good few bags of crisps I’m just glad he’s eaten. It’s better than forcing him to sit at the table for meals and meltdown because he doesn’t like the way his safe food looks that day.So now the balanced safe meal is put next to him with whatever activity he’s doing and 90% of the time he will unconsciously pick at it whilst doing said activities but some days, snacks are the safe food and that’s okay.
Snotty noses. Urrgghh… It’s so gross…. How hard is it to wipe their noses. Well i had a kid with allergies, and then daycare with the 59 colds per year… and i did wipe his nose… Because it was gross, but it was also a knockdown drag out fight to get him to use a saline rinse or any sucking machine to really get it cleaned. Babies are strong as hell when you don’t wanna break their arms tryna hold them down. I still think it’s gross, and I think people still need to try, but I’m way less judgey because lil hulks are hard.
Using iPads or their phones when they were out. I said I wouldn’t let her watch iPad until she was at schoolHahahahahahaGiving her the phone has saved my sanity while I was at the shops.
Early leave from work for daycare pickup. I was always like, just pick them up AFTER work you shammer. Then I learned about state and daycare policies which limits care to so many 8 hours. So if you have a commute…well, best of luck.Then there are add-on costs….competition just to get in to one….and then the horrible school hours that still require before and after school care FOR THE SAME PRICE AS A NORMAL FULL DAY OF DAYCARE!!It probably cost my wife and I 25k/yr for two kids for daycare for 8 years. A normal average run of the mil daycare.
Only talking about their kids. It’s gotten easier over time, but besides work what am I even doing besides momming real hard?
“god why is that kid eating so much junk!”
Screaming kids on a plane.Took my then 4 month old and 2 and a half year old on a plane so they could see my wife’s family for the first time.Vowed I would never do it again.Tickets already booked for a mid year flight.
I still judge this: if parent doesnt parent. Like screaming kid ok but what does parent do? Is there with kid handling it somewhat? Or playing on phone? Kid is jumping on couch, not theirs they can jump home if they want, does parent tries to stop it or just ignores it?Kid grabs toy from another kid kid cries what does parent do? Do they go to return toy or just sit and stare at mud?
My kids were never going to eat food while not seated properly. Never! I remember doing CPR training for the like 7th time and the instructor mentioned how dangerous it is for kids to walk/run around with food in their mouth. Oops. I know it’s not good, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy to force my daughter to sit. It’s better now that she’s 3 and can be reasoned with.
Letting them be fussy eaters. My kid is fussy as all get out. It drives me nuts, but there’s not much else I can do.
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