Some people just can’t seem to empathize with others, no matter how hard they try. They’re probably only concerned with themselves and don’t realize how other folks arefeeling. This makes it much harder for the people in their lives, especially if they’re already dealing with a difficult situation.
The mother-in-law in this story fits the bill exactly. Rather than empathizing with herdaughter-in-law, who was going through an incredibly tough time, she chose to put the woman down and make everything about herself.
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The woman had a miscarriage while on their family vacation, and even though she was in terrible pain, her mother-in-law was more concerned about not being able to go out
Image credits:user32601828 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Rather than enjoying the vacation on her own, the mom-in-law sat around the house all day and complained, so her son eventually confronted her about it and put her in her place
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The poster explained that her mother-in-law was actually a good grandmother to their kids but sometimes had the tendency to say outrageous and hurtful things
To understand the actual physical and emotional toll this situation must have taken on the OP,Bored Pandareached out toDr. Sarah Allen. She is a psychotherapist in Chicago, IL, and she has over 25 years of experience working with reproductive mental health issues.
She told us that “the physical effects of miscarriage vary depending on the stage of pregnancy and the individual, but bleeding, cramps, and pain can all be very uncomfortable to manage. The rapid hormonal levels drop can cause some physical symptoms, mood swings, sadness, anxiety, and postpartumdepression-like symptoms.”
Unfortunately for the OP, her mother-in-law didn’t understand the depths of pain that she was dealing with. Since the woman was extremelycodependent, she didn’t want to go out anywhere without her son or daughter-in-law around. So, she stayed at home and kept complaining about her vacation being ruined rather than comforting the poster.
We asked Dr. Sarah why some folks are sounsympathetictoward those who’ve had a miscarriage. She said that “because it often happens behind closed doors, individuals who have never personally experienced it or known someone who has may be unaware of its emotional impact.”
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“Other women may just need to know you care. Different women need different things, or the type of support they need may change as they go through the grieving process. However, genuinely expressing empathy to those going through a miscarriage really helps,” she added.
How would you have reacted if you were faced with a heartless in-law like this?
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