Friendships are a funny thing; one day, you’re splittingfriesand spilling secrets, and the next, you’re dodging passive-aggressive texts over vacation plans. People grow, priorities shift, and sometimes, that carefree buddy who used to be down for spontaneous road trips now needs a six-month notice and a spreadsheet itinerary.
But the real test of afriendship? Seeing how it holds up when personal wants don’t perfectly align. Some friendships roll with it, others crack under the pressure, and a few? Well, they combust over group chats—and voice notes longer than an audiobook. Just ask our Redditor; she learned that the hard way.
More info:Reddit
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One woman loses a 10-year friendship because she doesn’t invite her single mom friend and her kids on a beach getaway with a mutual friend
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The two friends have always been accommodating and flexible around their newly divorced friend, but they want to enjoy a child-free beach vacation
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Image credits:Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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The woman asks if she’s a jerk for not wanting to go on vacation with her friend and her 2 kids
The OP (original poster), a 30-year-old child-free woman, just wanted to sip cocktails on the beach with herbestie, Lina. Sarah, their longtime friend, and a single mom, apparently saw herself as the friendship gatekeeper. When she found out she wasn’t invited, along with her 2 energetic kiddos, she wasn’t just disappointed. She felt betrayed.
Now, let’s be real—vacationingwith kids is a very different experience than an adults-only escape. One involves sleeping in, leisurely brunches, and spontaneous decisions. The other? Screaming meltdowns and early wake-ups. And let’s not forget that traveling with kids means being prepared for every possible crisis, from forgotten teddy bears to snack-based negotiations that would put a high-level diplomat to shame.
Sarah, however, didn’t see the issue. She expected her friends to include her and thekidsbecause they’ve always been flexible with her situation. She tried guilt-tripping them, saying they should be more considerate since she’s in a “difficult situation” and doesn’t have other friends to travel with. Because nothing says “you’re my bestie” better than emotional manipulation.
A little bit of honesty? Totally fine. But when someone starts weaponizing their struggles to get what they want, it stops being about mutual respect and turns into emotional manipulation.Guilt-trippingoften involves making someone feel like a bad person for setting boundaries or prioritizing their own needs. This kind of emotional blackmail isn’t part of a healthy friendship, but just a recipe for resentment.
When Sarah’s friends gently explained that this trip was meant to be kid-free, she was furious, insisting that if the roles were reversed, she would’ve invited them. But let’s be honest—if the roles were reversed, they’d be tagging along on her family trip and adapting to her plans, not reshaping an entire beach vacation around kids.
The very offended Sarah declared she wasn’t sure theirfriendshipcould survive this. She dropped a 12-minute voice note, which is basically the digital equivalent of door-slamming, officially ending their decade-long friendship over the betrayal. Oh, and apparently, their failure to spend New Year’s Eve with her and the kids was strike two.
At this point, our vacation-loving Redditor was left wondering if she was really the villain for wanting a trip that didn’t involve potty breaks and bedtime tantrums. But is she? After all, real friends don’t make each other feel bad for having different wants and needs. They communicate, they compromise, and most importantly, they respect each other’s boundaries.
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We asked the poster how her friend Lina reacted to Sarah’s behavior regarding the vacation. She explained that Lina was very supportive when dealing with Sarah’s reaction. Interestingly, Sarah didn’t even send her a separate message—she simply forwarded the exact same voice note the poster received. After that, she sent Lina a short note saying that everything she had said to the poster applied to her as well.
We wanted to know if Sarah had displayed similar behavior in the past. The poster told us that, “In the past, Sarah has sometimes made her personal struggles—such as relationship issues—a central focus in our friendship, particularly in our early 20s. However, this situation reached an entirely new level that we had never experienced before.”
We asked the poster if she had reached out to Sarah since the fallout. She said that, since receiving Sarah’s voice message, she hasn’t made any effort to contact her. She did reply once with the message she shared in her Reddit post, where she explained her side of things, but that was the last time they communicated.
“I do know that she reached out to another mutual friend of ours. However, she hasn’t been in regular contact with this person for a long time, which I find quite telling—especially considering that she chose to cut off her two closest friends over this,” the poster explained.
Netizens side with the woman, saying her friend is ungrateful for everything she’s done for her and is probably jealous of her freedom
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