You’d think the mere fact that a friendship lasts 25 years can be a testament to mutual loyalty and respect.
But as the story of Mumsnet forum userPoshpaddingtonshows, numbers mean nothing. It’s how you treat each other that matters. And when her bestie’s wedding was approaching, the woman crossed too many lines.
From hair extensions to shoes and even a hotel room, as thebride’s list of demandsgrew longer and longer, so did Poshpaddington’s doubts about their relationship.
This woman was asked to be her best friend’s bridesmaid
Image credits:Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)
But the role came with an ever-increasing set of demands
Image credits:X L / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Valeria Boltneva / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Poshpaddington
The relationship feels very much one-sided
It’s true, there’s a lot of pressure when it comes to organizing a wedding. The venue has to be beautiful, the music must hit all the right notes, and the photos have to come out sharp.
But reading the story, the bride still sounds excessive. You may have even asked yourself why the author of the post would accept such behavior in the first place.
Part of the reason might stem from our formative years. “If you tolerate friendship abuse, there’s a good chance your threshold for other types of abuse is high,” Betchenexplains. If we have suffered from any form of abuse in our youth, we’re more at risk of seeking it out and staying in it as an adult.
Also, “If you have a fear of being alone or of being on your own, you’re more likely to have trouble letting go of even the most negative person in your life,” the therapist adds.
Many people who have experienced loss or abandonment as kids hang on in an effort to cope with or repair a childhood loss.
Whatever the case might have been, the author of the post did bring up her worries about the preparation for the ceremony. If her bestie had valued the relationship as much as she did, most likely, they could have pivoted towards a new and better dynamic. But the bride repeatedly refused to empathize with her.
“True friendships are built on interdependence,” therapist Sam Louiewrites. “It’s not one way but a relationship where both can rely on each other as needed. Healthy friends also do not exploit or manipulate others into always caring for their emotional needs.”
And people picked up on it. So it’s probably no surprise that many reactions to the post had a suggestion attached to them to not even attend the wedding.
Image credits:Gerard Barray / pexels (not the actual photo)
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