And that was the situation today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself in—in a battle of priorities when her mother insisted she take on wedding prep duties right after giving birth. Because, apparently, cutting out paper hearts is a top-tier postpartum activity.
More info:Reddit
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The postpartum period can be so draining, and every other thing just takes a back seat
Image credits:Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author was eight months pregnant but managed to perform all her maid of honor duties for her sister’s wedding planning
Image credits:pax_et_veritas
Image credits:freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits:gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits:krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, when the author maintained that she wouldn’t be able to help, her mother started to guilt-trip her
As the maid of honor for her sister’s upcoming Septemberwedding, the OP had already gone above and beyond in organizing the bridesmaids, managing dress fittings, and planning a bachelorette weekend while eight months pregnant. But her mom still expected her to continue helping even after she gave birth.
Image credits:shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According toThe Mother Chapter, life with a newborn is a huge adjustment, often leaving parents exhausted and overwhelmed. Between sleepless nights, recovery, and new responsibilities, many things take a back seat. This is why taking on extra tasks—like planning a wedding—right after childbirth can feel completely unrealistic.
This is why the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologistsemphasizesthat postpartum care is just as important as prenatal care, as complications can still arise. A strong support system of family, friends, and healthcare professionals is essential for a new mother’s recovery and well-being.
Having help is crucial during this period. This is why postpartum support should focus on assisting the OP, not adding extraresponsibilitieslike wedding tasks, which can add unnecessary stress during an already demanding time.
Mom Therapy Chicagosuggestssetting boundaries is very important, especially with one’s own parents, if they tend to be overbearing. However, they acknowledge that this is a challenge for new moms. While their intentions may be good, new moms don’t have to agree to everyvisitor piece of advice. Clear communication is key, and there’s no need to justify every decision either.
Others called out her mother’s lack of empathy and advised the OP to set firmer boundaries.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the new mom should have set even firmer boundaries, or was her response reasonable?
Netizens suggested that the author rethink her mother’s visit altogether, given her disregard for her daughter’s postpartum needs
Monika Pašukonytė
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