Family relationships can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes, even during the festive season. But could things be so bad that you contemplate having your siblings over for Christmas?
Today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself in between a rock and hard place when a disagreement about weekend plans and a Facebook block spiraled into a full-blown conflict with her sister. And now, the OP is left wondering if she has to invite her for the holidays.
More info:Mumsnet
RELATED:
Andy Williams referred to Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year, but it may not be for this woman and her sister
Image credits:pikisuperstar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s sister had first blocked her on Facebook after a disagreement about weekend plans and family priorities
Image credits:Anuta77
Image credits:lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The sister came over for her birthday, but decided not to engage with her as she just sat on the sofa on her phone
Image credits:prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite blocking the author on Facebook, her sister would reach out via WhatsApp when needing assistance
Now the author is questioning inviting her sister over for Christmas as she wants to avoid tantrums and protect her sanity
It all began when the OP’s sister grew frustrated at her lack of initiative. As a singlemom, her sister loved these outings as an opportunity for her son to bond with his cousin. However, in November, the sisters had a fight.
The OP’s sister was upset that she didn’t cancel her plans to visit their elderly mom. What followed was an emotionally chargedFacebookargument, which ended in the sister blocking her. She never unblocked her, but would reach out to her via WhatsApp if she needed something.
Their relationship hit another snag in December, starting with a frosty exchange at her nephew’s birthday party. Whereas the OP was sick of it; the tantrums and the ingratitude, and so, she simply “mirrored her sister’s coldness”.
The OP went further to state that when she decided to confront her sister about what had happened between them, the sister only said that as usual, the OP just didn’t understand her.
Now, withChristmasaround the corner, the OP is faced with a difficult choice— inviting her sister to her place for Christmas or not. Inviting her could mean opening the door to more tension, but excluding her might deepen the rift, especially since their mother is also invited.
Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Reciprocity is important in all kinds of relationships, including familial relationships as well, as it involves a mutual exchange of energy and support. According toMasterClass, types of reciprocity include generalized (giving selflessly without expecting anything in return), balanced (equal exchange), and negative (an unbalanced exchange).
However, the seeming rivalry between the sisters is also something to pay attention to. According toWebMD, some causes of sibling rivalry in adults are rooted in perceived or real favoritism from parents, life events, comparisons, differing values, jealousy, or poor communication skills.
The OP had stated that the sister was just projecting “some deep issue she has”, however, WebMD might infer that these deep issues are unresolved issues from their past and differing expectations now strain theirrelationshipfurther.
Thankfully, Harley Therapy provides tips on resolving adult sibling conflicts. According to thewebsite, “resolving adult sibling conflicts requires focusing on actionable steps rather than the current dynamics.”
They state that pulling others, like parents or kids, into the conflict is ineffective anddangerous. Instead, siblings should work it out amongst each other. They also go further to state that seeing the sibling’s perspective, even briefly, can open space for better communication.
On the other hand, many commenters found fault with both siblings, pointing to pettiness, immaturity, and a lack of communication. One user summed it up bluntly: “The pair of you need to grow up.”
Do you think the OP is justified in her feelings, or should she try to mend fences for the sake of family unity, especially their sons? Please, let us know what you think!
Netizens insist the author shouldn’t invite her sister for Christmas, but a large number also believe that the two sisters are being childish
Thanks! Check out the results:Eligijus Sinkunas
Rūta Zumbrickaitė
Relationships