With shaky legs and sweaty palms, they get down on their knee and ask one of the most—if not the most—important questions in their lives: “Will you marry me?”, only to hear their partner squeal out an excited “YES” mere seconds later.

That is a scenario that most people hope for when they decide topop the question. Yet unfortunately, that’s not always the way it goes. For some people, likethis redditor’sboyfriend, the answer isa no; though in his case, it was a yes at first.

Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with the OP, who was kind enough to share more details on the situation, as well as on how things developed after the rejected proposal.

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Most people hope their partner will say yes to their marriage proposal

Man proposing to girlfriend in a park, holding a ring box.

Image credits:The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

This netizen only said yes trying to spare her boyfriend the embarrassment in the moment

Text discussing a woman’s response to a public marriage proposal, expressing hesitation about marriage timing.

Man in car looking distressed, pondering public proposal situation.

Image credits:diana.grytsku / freepik (not the actual photo)

Text discussion about handling a boyfriend’s public proposal and a private decision.

“Marriage was something I thought we agreed we both needed more time for,” the OP told Bored Panda

Couple smiling and chatting on a cozy sofa, discussing a public proposal turned private conversation.

Image credits:EmilyStock / freepik (not the actual photo)

In a recent interview withBored Panda, the OP shared that the proposal came as a total surprise; however, she did have a hunch for a second there.

“Marriagewas something I thought we agreed we both needed more time for, so I didn’t expect him to get on one knee, especially in front of a crowd,” she said. “But also, as we were driving there, the thought did cross my mind because he was acting quite nervous and for a moment I thought ‘Is he gonna propose? No, that’s too far-fetched’. I guess my gut wasn’t lying.”

The woman continued to share that before the proposal, her partner seemed to agree with her that they were not ready to get engaged just yet, but there were some disagreements as to why they weren’t ready. “For me it was mainly financial as I worked as a vet and he didn’t have a job yet, making me not feel financially secure,” the redditor told Bored Panda. “But he used to say that we didn’t have to worry about money because of his parents, which is a fair point as his parents are wealthy but I didn’t want to feel like a leech.”

Nowadays, many couples decide to wait longer before tying the knot or not to get married at all. According to the Pew Research Center’sdata from 2021, at the age of 21, only 6% of Americans were married, compared to 18% of their peers back in the 1980s. However, fewer of them had their finances sorted at such a young age, too, with 25% of 21-year-olds considering themselves financially stable in 2021, versus 42% of 21-year-olds in 1980. Bearing in mind the cost of aweddingnowadays, as well as the cost of living, it’s completely reasonable to want to have both feet steadily on the ground financially before getting married.

The couple needed a long talk about their future after the rejected proposal

Woman with engagement ring embracing a partner, contemplating acceptance of a public proposal.

Image credits:freepik (not the actual photo)

In an interview with Bored Panda, the OP also opened up about how the couple’s relationship continued after she rejected the proposal in private. “At first it was rough, we weren’t talking to each other for a week before I made the post. After I wrote the post and published it, I received an overwhelming response and amongst the incel trolls calling me a stupid female, and others just straight up telling me the relationship is over and I should pack my bags, there were a few dimes in a dozen giving me real good advice and telling me I need to examine what I want out of my relationship. So after some thought I called him and asked him to meet up at a restaurant.”

Unfortunately, that didn’t go well. The woman shared that the two had a heated argument and her partner stormed off before the meals even came. “Later that night, though, after I collected myself and my thoughts, I reached out and sent a voice message to him explaining my point of view,” she continued.

“We messaged back and forth for a bit, before he came over to my apartment and we had a deep talk about our future. He is now looking for a stable job and I’m wearing the ring! Our families are pressuring us to organize the wedding immediately but we told them we were not in any rush yet. So I guess in a way it all worked out in the end for now.”

Fellow netizens didn’t think that rejecting the proposal in private made the woman a jerk

Reddit discussion about a public proposal and private rejection, exploring relationship advice and engagement concerns.

Reddit comments discussing relationship readiness and public proposals.

Reddit comment discussion about public proposal and private rejection.

Comment exchange on readiness for marriage proposal discussions.

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Reddit comment discussing the ethics of public proposals, mentioning an unfair public proposal situation.

Text discussion on public proposal and turning it down in private.

Text from a Reddit post discussing a public proposal and private rejection.

Reddit comment discussing public proposal response and private rejection, advising on communication and expectations.

Reddit comment discussing a public proposal and private rejection, questioning marriage choice.

Comment advising to end the relationship, suggesting it will prevent future heartache.

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Comment on engagement advice, sharing a personal story about a long-term relationship decision.

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Reddit comment discussing a public proposal, communication issues, and private decision-making.

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Reddit comment discussing a public proposal and private rejection, questioning the boyfriend’s intentions and manipulation.

Reddit comment discussing a public proposal, mentioning relationship dynamics and pressure.

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Comment criticizing a public proposal hijacking a celebration, mentioning readiness and manipulation.

Text discussing the embarrassment of public proposals and the importance of mutual agreement before marriage proposals.

A Reddit comment discussing commitment issues in relationships with advice and candid opinions.

Comment addressing relationship doubts after public proposal.

Reddit comment discussing public proposal and relationship issues.

Reddit comment discussing engagement timing and relationship advice.

Some people believed that the OP—or everyone involved—was in the wrong

User comment addressing honesty and relationship communication issues.

Comment discussing public proposal and private refusal advice.

A comment discussing a public proposal, mentioning engagement decisions and mutual responsibility.

Comment discussing a public proposal and the implications of turning it down in private.

Reddit user comments on public proposal rejection and private acceptance, discussing relationship dynamics and honesty.

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