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The woman had struggled with infertility for years but kept a hopeful list of names for a future child
Image credits:Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)
Then, her sister took one of those names for her newborn son
Image credits:Ksenia Chernaya / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Key-Form74
But if you’re really set on a specific name, it can be tough to give it up, and that can lead to conflicts with those close to you.
“In general, my rule is this:relationshipsmatter more than names,” Sandel says. “The most hurtful situations are ones like the Reddit user’s: you have a favorite name, and someone who is supposed to care about you learns that name—especially if it’s uncommon—and then uses it without considering your feelings.”
“A coincidence hurts. Intentionally taking the name is a whole other level of ouch.”
“In this case, you’re not asking for permission, but you are giving the other person time to prepare,” she explains. “For example: ‘I know you’ve always loved the name Jack, but it’s my husband’s grandfather’s name, and since he just passed, we feel strongly this is meant to be our son’s name.’”
Sandel’s heart breaks for the OP on Reddit. “The new mom could’ve chosen a different name—or at the very least, told her sister privately before announcing it to everyone else.”
“To anyone who suggests it’s just a name and you should let it go,” Sandel concludes, “I’d say: ‘It’s not just about the name. It’s about implying that I’ll never be aparent, and therefore my feelings and preferences don’t matter.’”
Image credits:Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)
Thanks! Check out the results:Justinas Keturka
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Monika Pašukonytė
Relationships
