Many people have that one piece of media that has gotten them through a tough time. For me, it’s the 1950 movieHarveywith James Stewart. In it, his character Elwood P. Dowd says: “For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.” It’s much more gratifying to risk being corny but stay kind.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
RELATED:
The world is tough at the moment for some Pandas. Seasonal depression might be kicking in for those in the Northern Hemisphere, traditional media keeps bombarding us with negative news, and the stress of buying all theholidaypresents isn’t helping in any way.It’s important to maintain a positive outlook and keep our mental well-being in mind. But how do we do that without stepping into delulu territory?Positivityis good, but, as folks say, too much of a good thing can bite us in our rears sometimes.
The world is tough at the moment for some Pandas. Seasonal depression might be kicking in for those in the Northern Hemisphere, traditional media keeps bombarding us with negative news, and the stress of buying all theholidaypresents isn’t helping in any way.
It’s important to maintain a positive outlook and keep our mental well-being in mind. But how do we do that without stepping into delulu territory?Positivityis good, but, as folks say, too much of a good thing can bite us in our rears sometimes.
While we probably all want to feel good all the time, that’s not how being a person works. Beingpositiveand keeping a good attitude is always better than wallowing in self-pity and depression, but we shouldn’t forget that it’s also okay to feel sadness, anger, disappointment, and even anxiety from time to time.Graham Reynolds, PhD,describestoxic positivity for the ADAA as encouraging statements that should minimize painful emotions. Toxic positivity is about being unrealistically optimistic without taking into account the circumstances of a situation.
While we probably all want to feel good all the time, that’s not how being a person works. Beingpositiveand keeping a good attitude is always better than wallowing in self-pity and depression, but we shouldn’t forget that it’s also okay to feel sadness, anger, disappointment, and even anxiety from time to time.
Graham Reynolds, PhD,describestoxic positivity for the ADAA as encouraging statements that should minimize painful emotions. Toxic positivity is about being unrealistically optimistic without taking into account the circumstances of a situation.
Somesigns of toxic positivitycan be feeling guilty about being sad or angry, hiding or disguising these sorts of difficult emotions, or relying on positive quotes about hard situations. People who engage intoxic positivitymight start ignoring their real-life problems like financial difficulties. They also might be inappropriately positive when it comes to comforting others and dismissing their feelings.
Kendra Cherry, MSEd,writesthat positive thinking can be good for us but that toxic positivity “rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely positive façade.” For example, feeling sad and disappointed about not getting a job is normal. You can give yourself time to grieve this opportunity you think you had in the bag; life isn’t always “good vibes only.”
Psychologist Konstantin Lukin, PhD,claimsthat suppressing negative emotions only makes them bigger and worse. “Avoiding negative emotions reinforces this idea: Because you avoid feeling them, you tell yourself that you don’t need to pay attention to them. While you are trapped in this cycle, these emotions become bigger and more significant as they remain unprocessed.”
Lukin also invites us not to divide emotions into ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ Yes, some of them make us feel good and others make us feel bad, but all emotions perform a function. They help us make sense of things. If you’re sad about leaving a workplace, it probably means that you’re going to miss it; you might’ve made some friends there and have some nice memories.
Sometimes, when we comfort or encourage people, we might veer into the toxic positivity realm. We say things like “Everything happens for a reason” and “You have to look for the silver lining.” Clinical psychologist Jamie Longtold CNNthat this kind of talk dismisses the person’s feelings.
We try to offer perspective, but what people need when they’re down is validation. Long and her colleague Samara Quinterooffersome things to say to truly comfort someone else, like “This is really hard, I’m thinking of you” or “I’m here for you, good or bad.”
“Sometimes we just need to say ‘Yeah, me too,’ or ‘That makes total sense,'” Long explained further. “It’s allowing someone to express something that’s authentic, even if it’s uncomfortable or even if it’s hard to hear.” Basically, it’s better to offer a person a shoulder to cry on than try to solve their problems.
See Also on Bored Panda
Continue reading with Bored Panda PremiumUnlimited contentAd-free browsingDark modeSubscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited contentAd-free browsingDark mode
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
Subscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
Modal closeAdd New ImageModal closeAdd Your Photo To This ListPlease use high-res photos without watermarksOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Modal close
Add New ImageModal closeAdd Your Photo To This ListPlease use high-res photos without watermarksOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Modal closeAdd Your Photo To This ListPlease use high-res photos without watermarksOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Add Your Photo To This ListPlease use high-res photos without watermarksOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.
Add Your Photo To This List
Please use high-res photos without watermarks
Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.
Not your original work?Add source
Modal closeModal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Modal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Upload
UploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.
TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermark
InstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermark
FacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
ChangeSourceTitle
You May Like50 Positive Headlines That Might Bring Some Sunshine To Your Day (New Pics)Viktorija Ošikaitė50 Feel-Good Memes And Pics To Help You Escape The Negativity (New Pics)Mantas KačerauskasPerson Seeks Help: “What Are Your Best House Cleaning Lifehacks?” And 30 Folks Online DeliverMonika Pašukonytė
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Monika Pašukonytė
Wholesome