People like to stand out from the crowd. Be unique and act differently. And it’s well and fine when you’re a teenager still building your personality and finding what you like and don’t like. But this struggle to not be like others to get attention gets stale really quickly when you’re an adult. You realize that the‘not like other people’phase is just that – a phase, and it seems pretty cringy in real life.TheI’m The Main Charactercommunity gives a pretty healthy dose of shaming to those guilty of constantly wanting to be the center of attention. It’s a subreddit with over 1.3 million members who like to roastself-absorbed people. I mean, if they were foolish enough to post theirmain character syndromebehavior, they need to be able to take the ridicule, right?Bored Pandaalso reached out toAlexander Danvers, Ph.D., a social psychologist and Director of Treatment Outcomes atSierra Tucson, who researches emotions and social interactions.We asked him how professionals would describe ‘Main Character Syndrome,’ why some people act this way, and whether we all have some of that main character energy in us. After all, we’re all the main characters of our lives, aren’t we?This post may includeaffiliate links.
People like to stand out from the crowd. Be unique and act differently. And it’s well and fine when you’re a teenager still building your personality and finding what you like and don’t like. But this struggle to not be like others to get attention gets stale really quickly when you’re an adult. You realize that the‘not like other people’phase is just that – a phase, and it seems pretty cringy in real life.
TheI’m The Main Charactercommunity gives a pretty healthy dose of shaming to those guilty of constantly wanting to be the center of attention. It’s a subreddit with over 1.3 million members who like to roastself-absorbed people. I mean, if they were foolish enough to post theirmain character syndromebehavior, they need to be able to take the ridicule, right?
Bored Pandaalso reached out toAlexander Danvers, Ph.D., a social psychologist and Director of Treatment Outcomes atSierra Tucson, who researches emotions and social interactions.
We asked him how professionals would describe ‘Main Character Syndrome,’ why some people act this way, and whether we all have some of that main character energy in us. After all, we’re all the main characters of our lives, aren’t we?
This post may includeaffiliate links.
The popularity of the I’m The Main Character subreddit is a testament to how people detest those who publicly act like they’re at the center of the world. The community also has one condition for its posts: they have to feature “deliberate attention-seeking behavior, entitlement, or individuals thinking they are more privileged than anyone else.“The subreddit is also against discrimination, harassment, racism, misogyny, bigotry, or personal attacks. Even if the main characters featured on the subreddit are extremely rude, the rules ask members not to harass them on their social media. The same goes for discussions among members: “There is always a real human with emotions behind the screen,” the group cites Reddiquette.
The popularity of the I’m The Main Character subreddit is a testament to how people detest those who publicly act like they’re at the center of the world. The community also has one condition for its posts: they have to feature “deliberate attention-seeking behavior, entitlement, or individuals thinking they are more privileged than anyone else.”
The subreddit is also against discrimination, harassment, racism, misogyny, bigotry, or personal attacks. Even if the main characters featured on the subreddit are extremely rude, the rules ask members not to harass them on their social media. The same goes for discussions among members: “There is always a real human with emotions behind the screen,” the group cites Reddiquette.
To learn more about ‘Main Character Syndrome’ from a psychology professional’s perspective, we reached out to Dr. Alex Danvers. Because the term gets thrown around online quite frequently, we were curious to know whether psychologists and mental health experts characterize it as a medical diagnosis.
Dr. Danvers says that such a mindset can change the way a person thinks. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small ways. “At the problematic end, it can make the person too focused on themselves, always trying to shift conversations and social situations to center around the drama of their personal story.““This can cause someone to overlook other people’s thoughts or feelings, treating them as supporting characters. That can feel, to friends, like a lack of empathy or rudeness.““But it can also lead to behaviors that are pretty common and less problematic,” Danvers continues. “Like trying to present yourself as positively as possible or focusing on documenting your life on social media over engaging in the moment.”
Dr. Danvers says that such a mindset can change the way a person thinks. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small ways. “At the problematic end, it can make the person too focused on themselves, always trying to shift conversations and social situations to center around the drama of their personal story.”
“This can cause someone to overlook other people’s thoughts or feelings, treating them as supporting characters. That can feel, to friends, like a lack of empathy or rudeness.”
“But it can also lead to behaviors that are pretty common and less problematic,” Danvers continues. “Like trying to present yourself as positively as possible or focusing on documenting your life on social media over engaging in the moment.”
Danvers also notes that people engaging innarcissistic and entitled behaviormight be masking other feelings, like feeling insecure or like they’re not in control. “If someone is giving big main character energy, there’s probably something deeper going on, and there are likely aspects of their life they aren’t happy with,” the social psychologist explains.
In recent years, there has been much discussion about how people do not know how to act in public spaces anymore. Concertgoers keepthrowing thingsat celebrities during concerts, and kids are destroying testers and being mean toSephora employees. Did we forget how to act when we’re not at home?“The pandemic made a lot of people feel more anxious and less connected,” Alex Danvers says. Since unhappiness and anxiety in daily life can lead to narcissistic behavior, he agrees that the pandemic and social media play a role in how we conduct ourselves in public spaces.
In recent years, there has been much discussion about how people do not know how to act in public spaces anymore. Concertgoers keepthrowing thingsat celebrities during concerts, and kids are destroying testers and being mean toSephora employees. Did we forget how to act when we’re not at home?
“The pandemic made a lot of people feel more anxious and less connected,” Alex Danvers says. Since unhappiness and anxiety in daily life can lead to narcissistic behavior, he agrees that the pandemic and social media play a role in how we conduct ourselves in public spaces.
“Depending on the way you use social media, it can be very anxiety-provoking,” Danvers observes. “People do a lot of self-comparison there and can find themselves wanting. Becoming the main character of the story of your life is a way of using fantasy to cope with a harsh world.““Right now, the world feels very uncertain and potentially dangerous to a lot of people,” Dr. Danvers invites us to sympathize with the main characters. “There are wars, political instability, concerns about disease, and concerns about harms from climate change. These are real things that produce real anxiety, and in daily life, it often feels like we as individuals can’t take action to meaningfully improve things.”
“Depending on the way you use social media, it can be very anxiety-provoking,” Danvers observes. “People do a lot of self-comparison there and can find themselves wanting. Becoming the main character of the story of your life is a way of using fantasy to cope with a harsh world.”
“Right now, the world feels very uncertain and potentially dangerous to a lot of people,” Dr. Danvers invites us to sympathize with the main characters. “There are wars, political instability, concerns about disease, and concerns about harms from climate change. These are real things that produce real anxiety, and in daily life, it often feels like we as individuals can’t take action to meaningfully improve things.”
Danvers says that people’s self-absorbed behavior can become a way to deal with those problems. “That’s when fantasy can come in as a protective measure—you might want to imagine that you’re the hero in a scripted story because things always work out for them. What becomes important is the drama and learning the life lesson that the ‘episode’ was meant to teach.“That said, Dr. Danvers cautions against losing yourself in that kind of fantasy. “Of course, life doesn’t come in episodes with conflicts that neatly resolve themselves, and this worldview can mess up people’s real relationships with their real friends and family.”
Danvers says that people’s self-absorbed behavior can become a way to deal with those problems. “That’s when fantasy can come in as a protective measure—you might want to imagine that you’re the hero in a scripted story because things always work out for them. What becomes important is the drama and learning the life lesson that the ‘episode’ was meant to teach.”
That said, Dr. Danvers cautions against losing yourself in that kind of fantasy. “Of course, life doesn’t come in episodes with conflicts that neatly resolve themselves, and this worldview can mess up people’s real relationships with their real friends and family.”
The term ‘Main Character Syndrome’ is weird in a way. Because, when you think about it, aren’t we all the main characters of our story? “In a general sense, we are the main characters of our lives,” Danvers somewhat agrees. “Like a novel written from the first-person perspective, we can only really know our own thoughts and experience our own lives.”
But those with ‘Main Character Syndrome’ wish to be main characters not just in their lives. “When people are talking about ‘Main Character Syndrome,’ they’re typically talking about something more extreme,” Danvers notes. “They think of someone who is acting like social situations should be all about them, and a world where they are important to everyone around them.”
“They think about someone who is more focused on crafting their own personal story than on paying attention to what’s going on with their friends and communities,” Dr. Danvers explains the difference. “This can lead to selfish or entitled behavior, and that is the type of thing that people can learn to—and be expected to—change.”
On the other hand, Dr. Danvers also says that thinking of yourself as a main character can certainlybe empowering. “If you see yourself as important, you might be more willing to take good care of yourself and treat your values as important. That can be a positive change, especially for people who might otherwise feel depressed.““The key is balancing a healthy confidence in yourself against the need to be aware of how much space you’re taking up and making sure you leave room for others in your story.”
On the other hand, Dr. Danvers also says that thinking of yourself as a main character can certainlybe empowering. “If you see yourself as important, you might be more willing to take good care of yourself and treat your values as important. That can be a positive change, especially for people who might otherwise feel depressed.”
“The key is balancing a healthy confidence in yourself against the need to be aware of how much space you’re taking up and making sure you leave room for others in your story.”
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