50 People Share If They Regret Their Decision On Having Kids Or Being Childfree

Reasons for not having children – or being unlikely to ever have them –differbetween the older and younger groups. The top response for those who are over 50 is that it just didn’t happen. Meanwhile, those under 50 usually say they simply don’t want tohave kids. So we decided to read up on how people perceive this aspect of themselves and found a couple of discussions on Quora (oneandtwo) where childfree adults have been sharing their unfiltered thoughts and emotions on the matter. Continue scrolling to check out the most memorable stories we discovered.This post may includeaffiliate links.

This post may includeaffiliate links.

Bored Panda’sparenting expert Vicki Broadbent, who is a mom of a teen, tween, and toddler herself, thinks “The decision, if it is indeed a decision, to have or not have kids (as many cannot have children despite wanting to) is individual,” the woman behind the popular parenting and lifestyle blogHonest Mumtells us.“I hate the pressure (applied to women in particular) to have children,” she says. “It is not right for everyone.”

“I hate the pressure (applied to women in particular) to have children,” she says. “It is not right for everyone.”

I announced at 16 that I never wanted kids. I heard all the usual BS about how I’d change my mind, I was too young to know, having a child was my “job”, who would take care of me when I was old, etc.I’m now 65 and have never had one moment of regret. I have traveled the world. I’ve donated thousands of dollars and hours to many non-profit organizations. I retired at 62 and live in a beautiful villa in a gorgeous mountain valley south of Valencia Spain. I am happily married — for 32 years.I see people my age who are years from retiring because of kids. They are exhausted, miserable, and stressed. Sure, they love their kids, but it’s an 80/20 split — the love is the 20%.Even my own mother told me if she had it to do over again she would not have had kids. I totally understood. She loved us and raised us well, but she gave up HER life to do that.Having a kid is NOT the end all/be all for females. You really do get to choose to live your own life and pursue your own goals and dreams if you want to. WITHOUT GUILT. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I do not want kids. I have no interest in being a father. I once thought about having children, but I decided I didn’t want the responsibility of raising a child. I’m gonna get a vasectomy as soon as possible. I myself also support the idea that women should have full control over their bodies, and shouldn’t be forced to go through an unwanted pregnancy.

Estimates concerning when adults decide to be childfree are mixed.Earlierstudiessuggested that most adults made the decision later in life, but last year, researchers at Michigan State Universityfoundthat this choice is mostly made during the prime childbearing years – in our teens or twenties.

Having kids is a monumental life-changing decision. I will tell anybody that before you have kids, be very sure that you want them for the right reasons. If you’re having them because your partner wants them, you’re lonely, or you think you might regret not having them, don’t have them. Children know when they’re not wanted and it will devastate them. Also, if you have children and cling to them too tightly (you refuse to let them grow up, you guilt them into centering their lives around you, you want a mini-you, etc.), that child will have psychological scars for a lifetime. It’s not fair to them. If you don’t have children and you come to regret it, you can always either adopt or volunteer at a church/youth center/school. You still get to have children in your life. I’m in my late forties and I can honestly say that I don’t regret not having children. I became a caretaker for my little brother when I was 11. I love children and they are a lot of fun, but I do not enjoy caring for children and all that comes with it. I enjoy my solitude too much. Even now when I’m around babies/children, I find them utterly delightful. I am happy to play with them, but I am also grateful that I can give them back to their parents.

“The belief that having kids is the elixir of a happy life and the only way to be fulfilled is flawed,” Broadbent, the author of booksMumboss(UK) andThe Working Mom(US and Canada), adds. “You can obtain the same happiness with or without kids.“She also thinks that “you cannot prepare for having children emotionally, […] not fully anyway, because it’s an extraordinary experience: thrilling, all-consuming, terrifying and wonderful. Rather like bungee jumping over and over for years!”

She also thinks that “you cannot prepare for having children emotionally, […] not fully anyway, because it’s an extraordinary experience: thrilling, all-consuming, terrifying and wonderful. Rather like bungee jumping over and over for years!”

I’m a 68 year old woman, without a child. I’ve never regretted a moment, for not having children.Those who have children, of course, are going to say, they are happy they had a child. They love their child. Those of us who don’t love a child, we don’t know, what we don’t know. We’re ok with that.

I am a 25 year old man. My whole life I have not wanted children. At 23 I got my vasectomy and found a 28 year old woman who also doesn’t want children. We are now owners of a 6 bedroom Victorian home built in 1903. We have double income and no children. We get to vacation and own all the toys we want. Having no children was our best decision in life. Our siblings have kids that we get to see and get all the child love we need. But at the end of the day we aren’t financially responsible for them. In today’s economy having a child is not worth it in our opinion. It may say selfish but why spend a million dollars in a lifetime on children when you can spend a million on enjoying your life to the fullest. Sure when we grow old we won’t have anyone to take care of us and one of us will die alone and lonely but at least we have amazing memories with each other and never had to stress about the expenses of a child. This is just our opinion, do as you please with it.

Nope.This is, BTW, why kids are an absolute deal breaker in a relationship. If one person wants them and the other does not, they should part company, full stop. There is no satisfactory compromise to be had, unless one of them doesn’t mean it for some reason or another.

The aforementioned Michigan State University study also showed that childfree adults who are 70 and older do not experience more life regret than their peers with kids. And that might be the key we need to understand.

The key isn’t whether one chooses to have children or not, but to make that decision authentically for oneself and respect that others may choose differently.

I regret having kids - we do not have a good relationship — I raised them (food, clothes and education) and I paid for their college - a new car when they graduated from college and cheered them both along the way.Today I have two adult kids that only call me when they need money and have shit on me in every other way …If I could do my life over not only would I not have kids but I also would never have gotten married.

My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. We have no children. During our 30s and 40s, we were able to travel extensively, and really enjoy our lives. Now that we are in our 60s, and don’t have the energy of our youth, I am glad that we were free to travel and enjoy our mid life years. Financially, we are better off, never having had children. We will retire soon. We don’t pine for what we never had.

There were three of us kids. I was 7 1/2 When my brother was born and he was 6 1/2 when my sister was born (I was 2 weeks shy of 14). None of the three of us ever had any children. My sister nor I ever wanted any and we made that clear from the time we were very young. I liked other peoples’ kids ok, I just didn’t want the responsibility and she just plain did not like any kids. My brother is the only one of us who was ever likely to have kids, and he was married for 11 years (divorced for many now). But he had a congenital birth defect that would have almost certainly affected any children, so they decided not to have kids. He says he has never regretted it, either. Only my Mom is left of my parents, now. If she regrets none of us giving her grandchildren, she has never mentioned it to me. She says all her grandkids have four legs. 😁🐾🐾🥰

Yes.My son is 27, suffering from chronic depression, in a low-paying dead-end job without the faintest idea of how to get out of it. His life is an unending continuum of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.If I knew that he would develop like this, I would not have had him. I would not want to bring a person into this world outside of his own volition, if I knew that he would experience no joy in his existence.I was under the impression that almost all living creatures had at least the capacity for joie de vivre, and I assumed that it would be so for my child, as well.Sorry, son. I don’t know what to do.

My first wife had had an emotional breakdown prior to our marriage. Because of the genetic component, we decided that having a child was not a good idea, even though we both wanted one. My absences because of military duties would have been too much of a strain on her if she had the sole responsibility of caring for a child. After her death in an automobile accident, I remarried, this time to a divorcee with eight children. Although the children were either out of the home or living with their father, we did have them in our lives ,and had several of them and their children lived with us as they dealt with marriage problems. There are now 27 grandchildren and 5 (as of today) great grandchildren. I have had two wonderful wives and the best of all possible worlds.

My ex-husband was alright about having kids when we got married, but abruptly changed his mind a few years later and became adamant against having kids. He was calculative, cold, and thought kids were a waste of money and time. He also became increasingly abusive, controlling, a serial cheater, and vowed that if we ever had children, he would treat them worse than he treated me. I was pretty depressed about the thought of being childless, as well as living with an abusive, controlling, and cheating husband for the rest of my life. After a couple of years of this misery, I escaped and never looked back. I started my life anew and enjoyed the freedom and happiness I never experienced during my first marriage.A few years later I meet my soulmate, and he is completely the opposite of my ex. A wonderful, happy, kind, generous, and thoughtful human being that thinks of others first. We have been inseparable since the day we met, and both of us wanted to raise kids. My dream came true, I became a mom and my son is the best thing to happen to us, he brings immense joy and delight to our lives and I’m so very grateful for the opportunity to have a child. It’s a whole other range of emotions that weren’t there before. My family is my world!I would have been crushed had I stayed in my first marriage, I would have absolutely regretted missing the chance to be a mother, something that I longed for so long.

No, I don’t regret not having kids. I always knew I was t going to have them, and I’m happy. A lot of my cousins don’t have kids, and my sister doesn’t either. Thankfully, I didn’t have an egotistical, self righteous mother, who demanded grandchildren.

My upbringing was such that I never wanted to marry or have children. All I had for examples were broken marriages and very unhappy people who endured each other for the sake of appearances. I would become upset when older people suggested to teenage me that I would one day change my mind. I grew up over night when I became caregiver to my grandfather and great grandmother in my teens. I didn’t see myself as able to love or be loved, and I felt old long before my time. I didn’t date in high school or college. In fact, some of the men in college called me “Ice Queen” because they thought I was terribly cold and rebuffed their attempts at flirting.I went on my first date after college graduation and eventually did marry. That part I do regret. It cost me a world of heartache and pain. I tried so hard to protect my heart but had it shattered anyway. But the good thing that resulted from that union was my daughter.She is the fire to my ice. She helped my perfectionist nature to soften. She is the very definition of my heart walking around outside of my body. I was determined, come hell or high water, to break the generational cycles of abuse for her. She is my joy.I see her intelligence, her sense of humor, her imagination. I see how she cares for people and animals. I see her passion for dance and how she loves to paint. She’s girly, glittery, and feminine. She’s innocent. She’s hilarious. She’s kind and loving.There is so much about my life that I deeply regret, but having her has never been one of them. I am honored that God gave me the privilege of protecting her, loving her, and knowing her.

I have 3 beautiful daughters and could not imagine life without them. Although my daughters, wife, and even my female Boston Terrier gang up on me often I have always been proud to have all girls.

Unfortunatelly, yes.I have a wonderful husband and we planned to have our two wonderful children. But somehow already in the first weeks of my first pregnancy I started feeling depressed. Since then (over 6 years now) I am fighting depression (with medication, therapy, etc.) and can’t succeed. I feel like I have ruined not only my own but the lives of everybody around me. These two precious girls will certainly not be mentaly healthy grown ups after experiencing a mother like me.I was perfectly happy before I had children and now I can’t find motivation to live in these circumstances.I wish there was some education on parenthood and possible side effects. I wish parents would speak openly about the difficulties of beeing parents.It seems to me that the whole world is cultivating the big lie that “children are the ultimative happiness”. Otherwise, if parents were honest with their own kids about the fact how difficult it was to raise them, they would possibly lose their chance to become grandparents.My husband and I decided to have children partially because of the pressure from our families. Sadly, none of those who put pressure on us is available to help in difficult moments.Yes, I indeed believe, a few people would be better off if I hadn’t have children.

NOPE. I don’t have children and I purposefully chose not to have them and I’m happy and contented that I don’t have the issues I see parents having to contend with. It all mostly stems from the fact that I’m an INFJ introvert who is very fulfilled and complete because of the dominant left cerebral hemisphere I have.That and also certain spiritual beliefs I hold dear to me is also why I don’t regret not having kids. To each his/her own.Everyone must do what is right for them in the long term. At the end of it all, whether one has children or not, it doesn’t matter since we all end up dead anyway. It’s just a matter of when it’ll happen for us all.

I couldn’t have kids. We’d talked about adopting but my husband was a workaholic and I had a number of health issues…and honestly not a big desire to be a mom. So we didn’t. I don’t regret it. But I have a lot of kids in my life. I’m my nieces and nephews and friends’ kids favorite aunt. I see or at least talk to most of them often. So my life has a lot of great younger people in it.

My mother walked out on my brothers and I when I was three. I stood there and watched her walk out the door with another man, and never saw her again. My dad was in Vietnam at the time, and we had to wait for Red Cross to notify him and for him to get a hardship discharge to come get us. I vowed to myself that I would never to that to any children I had.I met the one when I worked as a traveling sideshow performer. He was a ride jock. It was love at first sight, and we had thirty wonderful years together. I gave birth to my one and only child, a girl, and she became the center of my world. She still is, thirty six years later. Unfortunately, my one passed from cancer in 2014, but I still have my beautiful girl, who herself is married with a son. I would not give up any part of my life for anything; my daughter has been the light to guide me through some of my darkest hours, and I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

Yes and no. I was raped but had to keep the child as my parents did not believe me. And I feared at the time of losing their love IF I had an abortion.I raised her the best I could on very little. Never found a man that would love me with a child.And thou I regret HOW I became pregnant and how I had to live to raise her. She now has a Daughter I love with all my heart.

I guess I’m in the minority here. I never had kids nor really wanted them. I thought about it, sure, I think most people do. But I just never had the feeling my life wouldn’t be complete without them, and my partner of 25 years feels the same way. Sometimes I wish I had had a daughter, because I would raise her so much differently than how I was raised (I’m female). But that’s just speculation on my part.

Yes, I regret it as one of the worst mistakes of my life. Their mother is a mental case and they grew up to be carbon copies of their mother. That’s 4 young adults now that are dysfunctional, arrogant and incredibly selfish. They can’t keep friends or jobs. To this day I wish I never had kids.

I don’t regret my kids. I regret allowing myself to have children with a loser. It’s the biggest regret I have. I made a shitty choice for a partner, and my kids missed out on a good relationship with a real father. And I did it alone. But the kids, the were never the problem. My lack of love for myself was. I has no buisness messing around with him he had no goals nothing. I still feel so embarrassed and ashamed of my choices.

No.If I had the ability to live my life over, making any choices I want, I would not make a single choice which would jeopardize having exactly the kids I have now, just as they have turned out. I love my kids, I love being a dad, I love being part of a family.

Got two of them now. 10 and 8 year old. They have absolutely shortened my lifespan. So I had some regrets but I found out I really like having them around. So things got better and I would hate not having them in my life now.

I don’t regret having my kids. I do, however, regret that I believed I had people who would be there, even with the distance.When I got pregnant with my oldest child, I was swamped with well wishers and people telling me that they would be here for me.My step-mom and my “momma” said they would take time off and travel the 600 miles to be with me around when I had her so I wasn’t alone and wouldn’t have to embark on motherhood blind… but that’s exactly what happened.I had an induction date scheduled about a week before my due date for 3 days past my due date. I called my moms, I told them about the situation and both moms informed me that they wouldn’t be there (they didn’t meet my daughter until she was 5 months old). It was just my husband and I. And it’s always just been my husband and I since.I don’t regret my children, I love them fiercely but I regret not going into this journey prepared to have no support system. I still, even almost 11 years later, still have people who dare utter the words that they are here if I need them, I don’t believe it anymore. I struggle with resenting those that do have a support system, I struggle with jealousy. It’s a difficult thing to live with. So yeah, I don’t regret my kids.

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Very much so.I was 17 in 1979 when I got unexpectedly pregnant and was totally unprepared for what I was getting myself into. Long story short, I was a selfish, idiot teenager and didn’t give my children any kind of good start in life. My husband only married me so the kids could have his name, then he left. I raised them while on welfare, and I know I never gave them the attention and care that they needed.I love my children, don’t get me wrong, but I should NOT have had them when I did. I ended up giving custody of my youngest three to my mother, then their father, but got them back when he passed away. I had a fourth before getting my tubes tied (best decision ever!) and I did keep him, and he’s turned out well. The other three, not so much. No surprise there.It took me YEARS to figure out why I kept getting pregnant when I insisted on using condoms. My late ex-husband had to have been poking holes in them. It never once occurred to me at the time. I was such an idiot.If I could have had my children in my late 20s, when I began to really mature as I remember it, I wouldn’t regret it at all and would have given them such a better start in life and raised them with so much more attention and concern for their future. As it is, all I can do now is help them as much as they’ll let me. I certainly understand why they don’t want much to do with me.

Yes very much. I love my children. They were all the result of planned and wanted pregnancies.When I caught my narcissistic evil ex cheating? Actually caught caught him I was pregnant with our forth. IHe and and his weathy and politically powerful family decided that I must be destroyedThis began29 years of custody disputes, accusations of drug used (again me of course) his family kidnappi g children, his family refusing to return children , physical abuse directed at me as well as the children .He would have a literal tantrum and beat the children to get back at me.His family involved Child protective services in four counties. There were multiple custody evaluation supervised exchanges and several attempts to have our utilities turned off.I basically had to teach myself to practice family law because I could feed my kids or pay an attorney.I wouldn’t say I was totally innocent I called CPS a time or two myself like the time Stevie our only male child returned home with second and third degree burnsThis all went on until the youngest was 18.The end results one child driven crazy he has been In and out.of institutions and has made several suicide attemptsOne child refuses to talk to either of us. One moved to the other side of the country, she and I are still close. The last one the youngests ls functional if you overlooke the fact she is a habitual liar who learned that she can get whatever she wants if she makes up the right storyI love my children but if I could do it over I would never have brought them into the world to have been in the middle of what their father and his family pulled them Into

I wouldn’t be here without my kids. We all have mental health issues ( depression, ptsd) but we still make sure we find something to laugh about and be grateful about every day. When each of us are alone at night, the tears come and the anxiety, however because we made a promise to talk openly and to try and laugh every day, we, re still here. They are my life and even with our problems, I wouldn’t change a thing about them. They struggle so have empathy for others, they’re incredibly kind and have somehow kept their amazing sense of humour. I am the luckiest mum on the planet ( well that’s what my kids said!)

my children are the best thing in my life (i have a great career as well, many friends). they’ve brought me through many a bad moment, and now that they’re all doing well, i bask in their successes.and in the love of my grandchildren and my great-grandson. many many blessings.

No, not in the least bit. I feel like fatherhood injected a meaning into my life that it didn’t have before. I utterly adore my two sons. My marriage failed, but it was worth it just for the fact that it gave me them. I am continuously thankful for them.How a person reacts to becoming a parent is hard to predict. It really isn’t for everyone. Some people who think they want it end up hating it, and some who are wary of it end up loving it. I was more on the wary side, but after getting married, we wanted kids. Once my first son came, I transformed. Everything became about him. When my second son came, it was ever more love.I’ve been raising them as a single parent for many years now, and i consider it to be the most important part of my identity.

Now that my kids are growth and having kids of their own, I am enormously happy to have had them. Now I can enjoy them as parents and enjoy my grandchildren as the wonderful kids they are.

I genuinely do not know.I’ve never wanted kids. I like them (my favorite job yet was as a science education intern at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry), but I’ve always preferred to be the “aunt”, able to hand them back to their parents when they need discipline or when their time with me is done. I’m not sure I’d be a great mom, either, having chronic illness that saps my energy.But I’m also trans. And I get pregnancy dysphoria. It hurts that I can’t get pregnant.Would I have a different opinion if I’d been born with a uterus, or if I were a decade or two younger and could look forward to a uterus transplant? I can’t say. It’s not a hypothetical I can really game out. Too much would be different. Maybe I would have come to the same conclusion. Maybe much of my aversion to having kids of my own is the desire to bear them myself. Maybe if I were the one carrying them for nine months I’d be willing to make the sacrifices necessary.As it is, I think it’s for the best that I didn’t. But there are too many “What ifs?” to truly say I don’t regret it.

It is my biggest regret in life. First wife and I tried but were not successful. This perhaps contributed to our divorce. That, along with her screwing her ex boyfriend lol. Second wife and I been married 25 years. When we got married, she wanted to wait. Her two sons were 8, 10. I guess she waited too long and now we both too old.Will always be my biggest regret. I have a great relationship with older stepson. Younger one a useless POS. Glad I had them, really one in my life but just not the same.

I’ve had two children and have no regrets, despite what happened.Our first child was born with a congenital heart defect. Even with emergency surgery, he died 36 hours later. I had waited ten years for him.Our second child was born. The doctors suspected another heart defect, and he was quickly whisked off to Children’s Hospital, 100 miles away. I could not leave until I had recovered from childbirth.When I finally got to hold him, two days later, I simply held him the entire day, as we spent the day together in a rocking chair.What a delight he was to us, our families, and to all who knew him. He was exceedingly bright, witty, and caring. At age 36, he got glioblastoma, and sixteen months later he died. Once again, my life ended.If I never had children, I would have been spared living with two gaping holes in my heart. The grief never really ends. But I would have also missed precious and joyous memories of my children, 36 hours from one and 38 years from the other. Those memories have made me rich.Someday we will dance together in Heaven, but not today. God still has things for me to do. But until that day we dance together again, there is room for both grief and joy to dwell together in my heart. I thank God for both of my children.

I would not say I regretted having children, but I’m definitely disappointed in the end result. I grew up in an old fashioned and traditional Catholic family. My Father worked, and my Mother was a housewife, with each of those roles traditionally defined. I have 2 brothers and 2 Sisters, and quite frankly, it was not an ideal situation. No matter what happened, my Parents stuck it out, but nothing super serious ever happened. So we’re talking over 60 years now of being married, and for a long time together, I wouldn’t say they’re very close at all. Myself also saw how my siblings had issues being married and having/not having children. So I simply wasn’t gonna involve myself with anyone unless it just happened. I was 35 before “it” happened, and it was alright at first. But then the dreaded Dragon-in-law started causing all kinds of problems, and eventually, my Wife became my Ex-Wife. This was after we had already had 2 kids, but she didn’t want them, and signed away her rights. So I suddenly became a single Father, which was not part of the plan. And here we are now, and my Ex has very little to do with our kids, and I am always struggling. I never wanted children unless everything fell in place, but it’s now my responsibility only. I know how much different it would be if I hadn’t said yes, and that’s where the disappointment lays. Simply because it’s impossible for a single person to get the job done of raising your children, along with everything else that needs to happen. It truly takes 2 (actually a lot more), and sure, there are a lot of single Parents out there, but deep down, most of them know the truth…

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At the age of 25, I realised I would never find my “soulmate” and that if I waited for “ Mr Right” I might leave it too long to have children. So I decided to have a child on my own. In 1984, I had my son, who was my entire life, and I never regretted having him, not once. He took his life in 2019. My only regret is not having had more children when I had the chance.I never did meet Mr Right.

Yes. Plain and simple.You can judge me all you want. Don’t care.My daughter was the best thing I had ever done in my life, I loved her with all my mighty heart. Being her father was the highlight of my life… Then she became something else entirely and went away, never to talk to me again.No pain matches this. So, yes, I regret having my kid. Deeply.

Yes i totally regretted for almost six months.As I am mother of twins, they came in 8th month and where in NICU foe almost 15 days and they came home with food pipe. I was asked feed every 2 hours. New mom, no parents and twins and old in laws all came together.Was not able to sleep no rest huge amount of money spent. Physically and mentally I was so stressed. Postpartum depression hit me very hard I always regretted having twins. As first 4 month they didn’t sleep they easily get infected to diseases. No rest in life.But yes after they turned 6 month they gave some relieve to me and now my whole day revolves around them. I love them like hell. I waited for 6 years for them. Took 100 of injection to give them lyf. It’s easy to say twins get bigger together but it’s very difficult to upbring twins.But I love each n every moment with them. Soon they will be 8 months old.

Good question. While dating in my 20s, I told the girl I was dating, my future wife, that I didn’t want to get married or have kids because of how the world was. A few years later we married and then eventually had two kids.Great kids. The youngest just graduated high school. Oldest is in college. They both are smart and best of all kind and compassionate.Still though, I think it was a mistake especially with the state of the world today. Love them but they’ve been through a lot of stuff.

Of course I did, and I find it hard to believe you can find anyone who didn’t.At some points.Children are an enormous drain on you, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially. Pregnancy is miserable, and if you’re a man, the fact that your wife is miserable is also going to make you miserable, and you don’t get the hormonally charged rewards, nor do you have the hormonally charged brain mechanism that makes you forget the misery. (If the latter didn’t exist, the human species would die out, as no woman would have more than one child)Once the child is born, you’re up feeding every two hours, and struggling to perform all the functions for a helpless infant who cannot even communicate their needs… even their one communication channel, crying, is also used merely for exercise, so it doesn’t even communicate that there is certainly a problem to solve!This combination of stark terror, utter confusion, and extremely poor sleep goes on for months, and only gradually tapers out. When they are thirty, you’re still going to be feeling some degree of it.But that leads to the opposite complaint; there’s an awful sense of loss that is continuous, as your child gradually grows away from you, away from needing you for everything, to needing you for some things, to needing you less and less… and it’s SUPPOSED to work like that.The flip side of the coin is, it’s very rewarding, particularly if you had them on purpose, which suggests you have the sort of personality that WILL find it rewarding. I would not give up the experience for anything and ON BALANCE do not regret any of what it cost me.But I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t regret some of the costs.

My daughter turns 4 years next month.These 4 years have been overwhelming but absolutely splendid.Where to begin with, initially it was indeed difficult to comprehend on how to raise my kiddo. But slowly it all settled in.I have a companion who loves me unconditional ly, she cares for me like no one else, if I shed a tear will say mumma what’s wrong everything is good, she will come running to me once I am back from office. I actually everyday look forward to her reaction when I reach home. She literally jumps with joy. And that’s the joy that makes me forget all the fatigue and stress of the day.We do our make up together, we share our day ( offcourse mine only in the context that’s relevant to her), we say each other stories, generally I take her with me when I go to meet my friends, we laugh together.And yes though tough at times I have never regretted having her she is the best thing to happen. She has been nothing but my sunshine. She has bought more love and joy and I would not want it any other way.

I don’t regret having my children. They’re adults now, and they’re both successful and independent. They are the absolute joys of my life and I am so proud of them.However, I do regret getting married. I never really wanted to be married. I’m not wired that way, is how I explain it. I love my solitude. The only reason I got married - although of course I was young and stupid and insecure — was because I thought I had to. Very bad reason, I know that now. I was miserable through every second of wedding planning. I tried to call off the wedding. Long story for another time.I wanted to have children. In spite of my very obvious immaturity and cluelessness about being someone’s wife, I think I was pretty good at being a mom, and the fact that my children are much, much better, wiser, and more mature than I’ve ever been is evidence, I think, that I did a good job.The person I married was also unhappy in the marriage, and had his own issues. He wanted a divorce, found someone else, and dropped out of the kids’ lives for several years, although I understand things are better now. He divorced again. I never remarried and absolutely never will. My kids love and forgive us both for our many mistakes. They’re the only good thing that happened as a result of that unfortunate marriage.I say all this knowing it makes me look like a terrible person. I completely own my part of the ****show. I spent a lot of time trying to be someone I wasn’t, doing things I didn’t want, with people who made me feel awful.So, while I don’t regret having my children, if I had known myself better and been more mature, less eager to fit in, I would not have lasted more than a couple of dates with their father. I like to think that my kids are meant to be here to do good for this world (they are doing good, good things in their work and in their lives), so the marriage was meant to be in its own way.

I didn’t have children like my sister did, but I ended up taking care of her son, whom we’ll call “Will,” for several years. My sister and her then-boyfriend were struggling, so I offered to help temporarily. However, things changed, and my mother now has full custody of Will. I became the primary caregiver in my mother’s absence, taking care of Will’s every need. It hasn’t been easy, and I wish things were different, but I try my best to give him a good life. I missed out on my teenage years and had to become a mother figure at a young age, but I don’t entirely regret it. Seeing Will happy and safe is worth it. I hope to get my life back on track eventually, but for now, I make the best of the situation.

My wife and I deliberately had kids young, so we’d still be young enough ourselves to enjoy our freedom, once they were old enough to take care of themselves. Selfish, I know.But then lockdown happened and there were three adults stuck together in the house, and I’m sure you can guess what happened.So my advice to other men is this. Once you’ve had the amount of kids you want, get yourself a vasectomy.Edit for clarification, since it seems to be an ongoing thread. The third adult was a friend who stayed with us during lockdown because she lived alone. Fun times were had, and no, she wasn’t the one who got pregnant.

After my marriage, me and my husband had no doubts about our desire to become parents.We were blessed with a daughter before our first marriage anniversary. Our second angel was born nine years later.I only regretted having children when they had some serious health problems. I worried for them and it felt that why I gave birth to them and they had to bear pain. At no other point of time I regretted having my lovely girls.When my husband passed away it was my daughters who gave me a purpose to live. I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would have been for me to bear the loss of my life partner, if I would not have had my daughters in my life.They give me so many reasons to smile each day. Also I can see a reflection of their father in their looks and habits.After my husband’s demise, it’s as if they have taken the responsibility to look after me and keep me happy. Although they are quite young (elder one is in college and younger one is in school), but to me it seems that they take my responsibility more than I take their responsibility.Forget about regretting having children, I can’t imagine how I would have had managed without them after loosing my husband.

I have two boys ages 8 and 11. With my traumatic upbringing: (spanking, emotional abuse and narcissistic mother who didn’t take any accountability) - these wounds I carried with me almost untouched until my kids were ages 3.5 on up… then it was all felt and I had to unfold and deal with my own hurt all over again.. while unknowingly doing some of the same things to my kids until I woke up to it and began the long healing journey. Kids will be your greatest mirror. They will unearth your darkest pain. They can be your greatest teacher. It can be intensely insufferable and it can be incredibly joyful… though I would say my life would be much EASIER without kids… I will say it was MY path to take. I chose it. I didn’t know that it would be nearly as heartbreaking, traumatic (for all of us), rewarding, super exhausting, triggering, heart warming, and so necessary for my path. I want to say I regret having kids due to 5 really hard years. BUT - I have become a new person, I know my worth, I know that my kids deserve the best version of me, I am learning to keep my heart open and practice responding from a place of calm..this has made the experience worthwhile, meaningful and something I cannot say I regret.If you want an easier path, have more disposable income, have more TIME- and to enjoy the more simpler/fun aspects of life, then avoid having kids!!!

Did I ever regret having children? You mean, like, have I ever regretted it in the 23 years since my oldest was born?God, yes.The first time was two days after I brought Max home from the hospital after the c-section, when I couldn’t get him to latch and couldn’t get him to stop crying. And lots more times during that first 18 months when I had undiagnosed PPD.The time I remember most clearly, though, was on 9–11. Our youngest was 10 weeks old. My first thought upon seeing the second plane hit the towers was, “The world he was born into just a few months ago looks nothing like the world he’s going to grow up in.” Plenty of times over the next month or so I looked at Sam and wondered, “Had I known in Oct 2000 what I know now, would we have gone ahead and had a second kid?”And since 2016? Even my kids themselves have asked about the wisdom of bringing them into the world we’re in now. One of my kids is adamant that if he raises kids, anything other than adoption would be cruel, given the state of the planet.Both my kids were (mostly) planned, very much wanted kids. I don’t regret a minute I’ve spent with them or a dime I’ve spent on them or the hairs I’ve greyed because of them. They are, unquestionably, the best thing in my life. I would walk into traffic or a burning building for them.But I think about what the world might look like in 20 or 30 years (both environmentally and politically) and think maybe, just maybe, their future is nowhere near as bright as the one I’d imagined for them 25 years ago.And I despair a little.Edited to add: I really wasn’t expecting anti-semitism to make such a big comeback in my lifetime, never mind theirs. And while I had a little hope that we were making progress against all the variations of homophobia, that proved false, too. A young relative who shares my last name recently asked, “Should I be more afraid of going to temple or a gay bar?” and just… oof.

I didn’t want kids - started to just think maybe I should have a daughter (specifically a daughter) in my late 20s and then got pregnant unplanned at 28. Had a daughter and then another one who was planned 2 years later. I couldn’t imagine my life without them and nothing comes even close to being a parent. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I wanted to have a baseball team. My wife petered out at 4. She died leaving me to raise all 4 alone. I did not sign up for that and it was way harder than I expected. I just paid the last college tuition payment for the last kid. It looks like he will be able to find a good job.I’m a driven individual. I’m at the top of my profession. I designed and built my own house while grieving and raising 4 traumatized kids. I’ve created state of the art innovations. But I get giddy every time I see that last check written to the university. I freaking did it!Life needs purpose. Raising happy, healthy, successful kids is THE highest purpose.Note: My motive for posting this was one part to brag about my milestone but mostly it’s about how rewarding the sacrifices of parenting can be. So many are giving up on life because it has no purpose. So many are not having kids and I can’t really imagine what old age is going to look like having accomplished nothing that will have any permanence.

No, but I am so glad I made the decision to have kids, and weep for people who choose not to have kids. When I see the empty lives childless people have in their later years, I realise what a profound effect a seemingly simple decision early in life can have on one’s later years, when it’s too late to change course.

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