Relationshipsare all about communication, but let’s face it, that’s often easier said than done. The result is that in many, failed relationships, there are a decent amount of things that ended up left unsaid.
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That sometimes, while I was asleep, I’d wake to her petting my hair and telling me that she loved me. She said it in such a loving, quiet voice, it felt almost secret. In those moments, I had never felt so loved. I’d pretend to still be asleep while fading back into it so she wouldn’t get embarrassed. We broke up later but I still cherish those moments.
The day I left was the best day of my life. Not the wedding, not when the kiddo finished kindergarten or high school. When I finally had enough and realized what was happening was abuse and it happens to men, too.
That he’s gay. I remember the party in college where I walked in on him kissing our friend Daniel. We just never talked about it again. And once I announced the divorce, everyone mentioned that he was gay. They thought it was some big secret we were all agreeing not to discuss.I just wish he’d get on with it and live his life openly now. But I realize there must be tremendous pain keeping him from that. So I’ll keep loving him as a friend and family member, raising our daughter as coparents.I’m happy and remarried. I hope he finds what he needs someday. He’s an amazing dad.
It can be very hard to tell a person a hard truth, even, in fact particulate, if you love them. The truth hurts is an old adage for a reason and most of us don’t actually want to hurt the people who are important to us. It’s even worse when one is dealing with something that happened between them and an ex or really any important figure from thepast.While, in the moment, it might be easier to stay silent, psychologists believe that it still helps withclosure. After all, the folks in this article still felt the need to share the words left unsaid with someone, even if it was random people on the internet.
It can be very hard to tell a person a hard truth, even, in fact particulate, if you love them. The truth hurts is an old adage for a reason and most of us don’t actually want to hurt the people who are important to us. It’s even worse when one is dealing with something that happened between them and an ex or really any important figure from thepast.
While, in the moment, it might be easier to stay silent, psychologists believe that it still helps withclosure. After all, the folks in this article still felt the need to share the words left unsaid with someone, even if it was random people on the internet.
I know she faked an “emergency” phone call and left my apartment in a hurry one night because she had sh*rted herself. Unbeknownst to her there was some trace evidence left where she was sitting on the couch. I cleaned the spot, flipped the cushion, and I never let on that I knew what had really happened.
The heartfelt letter she wrote to her dying bff was returned bc she put the wrong address. He passed away while the letter was en-route back to her. I threw it in the trash.
Let’s face it, in many cases, it is best to discuss and divulge thingsearlyto not let them build up for later. Fortunately, many of the examples are a tad more lighthearted. It seems unlikely that someone is truly dying to tell their ex that, actually, they simply let them win at every board game.
The real reason I broke up with her was because I caught myself going through her phone on a regular basis. The last time I did it, it hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew it was me and not her. I developed trust issues from past relationships.I was so in love with her, I didn’t feel she deserved to be with someone not in a healthy place.I tried my hardest to trust her but couldn’t. I still haven’t gotten past her and it’s been 6 years.That behavior scared me so much, I haven’t been in a relationship since and have focused on me. I think I scared myself so badly, I am avoiding relationships out of the fear I’ll have the desire to do that again.Now she’s engaged and here I am… On Reddit. Confessing my crazy behavior.
I know that wasn’t the dog’s fart.
After all, it’s no surprise that most gags in your average sitcom, inevitably, come from some characters miscommunicating or leaving something out. It’s a pretty commonhuman experienceat this point. So like with many things in life, it’s important to not beat yourself up too much and just use your best judgment.
We should’ve broken up after that first fight 6 weeks in instead of 3 and a half years later. You’re my biggest regret.
I exposed her for stealing at work. Yahtzeeee.Was stealing tips from a tip pool. So from all her coworkers.
That I knew the last time she tried to talk me into having sex, she was trying to pin her pregnancy from her trip to Florida on me.
That it isn’t normal for him (18) and his sister (23) to shower together on a regular basis…. And no it was not to preserve water because they were loaded af.
It sounds harsh, but I would have loved to have talked with my ex about how neither of us really loved the other, but were both in love with the idea of each other, and that really f****d our relationship up, from day 1, and honestly I should have never tried to rely on her to fix my own pre-existing issues. I’m genuinely sorry I put her through that.
We broke it off on good terms, but I wish I could’ve told him how much of a narcissist and an a***e he was to me. He drunkenly asked me when I stopped loving him one night after we broke up… I stopped loving you 6 months into our relationship and stayed for 3 years bc I couldn’t afford to leave and be on my own and I became so used to the abuse that it was just normal at that point. I stopped loving you the first time you screamed “fk you” into my face. You made so many excuses for your behavior and half of those were just blaming me when I did nothing wrong. You were explosive and short-tempered but everything was still my fault. You couldn’t care less about the things I wanted to do or the interests that I had, just you you you you you. He even left me with the dog I got him (whom I love very much and he is spoiled). Every weekend he’d be gone doing the things that I wish I could be doing with him, but I wasn’t invited or couldn’t afford it. AND THE LIES. I’d be surprised if he was ever telling me the truth. Deceit was the boys middle name, but I saw through it. Even when you didn’t think I did. I did.I wish I could’ve said all of that but I left off on good terms because i’m wayyyyy too nice of a person. You live and you learn I guess. What a joke.Thanks for the vent haha.
Several things to each one of them1- Im sorry that I fumbled breaking up with you but I needed a more active gf than just watching movies endlessly2- i really wanted to spend my life with you but your decision that “you wanted to open our relationship” ended all attraction to you at that exact moment. I should have just walked away right there than demand it ‘stay closed’ and drag out the inevitable a few more months. You ended up leaving me anyways so w/e3- your anger is why everyone youve dated dumped you, and why im dumping you too. Its not that we “are afraid of a smart woman” its you become petty and mean when you dont get your way. (Shes still single to this day)4- i knew you cheated but you thought you were too slick.
He made me reallyyyy uncomfortable with how often he “accidentally” s**t himself.Accidents are accidents but there’s a point where it’s no longer an accident.
That her passion and goals for her writing career did not match her talent and dedication in actually trying to achieve them.
Just because you know interesting people, that doesn’t make you interesting.
That she would make an awful mother and that’s why things ended.
That I know damn well she cheated on me.Edit to add: I never told her because it would have benefited no one. As a result, we had an amicable divorce.
That she was a major catalyst in me making my life better. You we were my rock bottom. You made my life hell trying to help you and “fix” you.It’s wild I spent the whole relationship terrified you’d out grow me, turns out I outgrew you and I am so happy. Happiest I’ve ever been. Go f**k yourslef.
I knew he cheated for about 2 wks prior to the break up. I kept trying to give him chances to come clean on his own. He never did.
That I felt the most at peace with him.
Her parents pissed me the f**k off. Her mom was always complaining about everything, and her dad was a covid conspiracy theory nut case.
That I accidentally dropped his Ducati on its side. Obviously I couldn’t pick it up, I was panicking and called a neighbor for help and both of us were able to pick it up. Thankfully nothing happened to the motorcycle. No scratches or anything.. but if my ex knew, he’d have a fit lmao.
How bad his cooking really was. The best part about the very unpleasant break-up was that I no longer had to eat his food.
The fourth time she stayed over at my house, she woke up crying in the middle of the night, talking like she was a kid, and saying how her family is at odds, and her dad hates her mom and thinks she’s ugly, but they can’t get a divorce because of Christian values. I just calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. She suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and stress-caused episodes, so I don’t think she remembers it happening. I didn’t bring it up the next morning or ever in the three years we were together; not even during our worst fights.
I bought the ring from a buddy who robbed a jewelry store.
He would make mashups/ DJ mixes and play his own music in the car. And they were f****n TRASH.
That I broke up with her because she was just… too dumb.
I lost my virginity to her. Before we became a “thing” and she was just my friend I would lie to her about the women I slept with. This was in high school, man I still remember that night. Lmao, we ended up getting really serious, that relationship lasted 12 years. She would bring up the girls that I “supposedly” slept with and once in a while she would say that she ended up falling in love with a man wh*re. Lmao I never told her.
His apartment was an absolute horror show. Like I don’t know how he put up with how filthy, cluttered and depressing it was, and I honestly felt embarrassed for him.
That her family is and will continue to ruin her life. I have never met more narcissistic and pretentious, self diagnosing and delusional people in my entire life. I hope she finds the exit somehow, even tho she already had one.
That as much as I loved her, her lack of morals and social values meant we never had a future together. I could not imagine raising children with someone like her.
I hired a divorce lawyer the day after she took the kids from daycare and ran off to her moms.I was so stressed that I lost 5 lbs in 2 days due to stress from this. I convinced her to come back and just ‘make it work’ for The kids sake. But I knew I could never trust her again. I stashed $, gift cards, kids clothes & supplies at work and my folks house in case I needed to get the kids and get out fast. That was 3 years before the actual divorce. I regret nothing but hanging on so long. Now happily remarried w full custody 8 years now. FU ex wife.
That he was terrible in bed 🤷🏼♀️ and after he went to bed, I would have to finish myself.
That his breath stank , (I had to remind him daily to brush his teeth).
I wish I had told her how messed up her family dynamic was, how oppressed she was from that. I wish I had told her that life was more than academia and titles. And that I could’ve been more, but I was always going to be an outlier in her families eyes.
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That I wish I’ve never met her.
How much she really broke me down. Took me years to get my mental back on track.
That his dad revenge cheated on his mom after she had a relationship with another man while they were separated.She swore me to silence after telling me once night but had to tell someone because her husband wouldn’t stop holding the fact that “she cheated on him” over her head for every argument.
You’re not funny enough to be a stand up comic, and You’re always going to be a barista.
Her chili sucked.
I faked it every time but I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
That I have never let anyone get that close emotionally, before or since. We stayed friends afterwards, and I wouldn’t have gotten back together if she wanted to, but to me we had something special for a while.
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This was a long-distance relationship. When he was in really bad shape with a chronic pain issue and experiencing s*icidal thoughts, I called his ‘best’ friend to go spend some time with him and try to cheer him up a little. I don’t like this friend at all, and when I contacted him, he acted like going to check on the friend who was desperately bored and isolated because of his illness was a huge hassle he didn’t have time for. To his credit, he actually did it. Even though I can’t stand this friend, I figure no good could come from my then-boyfriend hearing that his ‘best’ friend balked at helping him when he was at his lowest.
I hate that blue polo shirt so much.
Just how bad her little sister and sister’s friend flirted and teased that summer I helped out at the farm.
He will try to find the worst in anyone he loves bc he can’t accept love.
I’m sorry for the way I treated her. I didn’t do anything like cheat on her or abuse her in anyway or anything, but my actions, in retrospect was less than fair to her.
This was an ex like 3 exes ago.That I really only let it turn into a relationship out of curiosity and that every day for the last year of our relationship I kept thinking, “is today the day I’m going to break up the relationship?” because I was truly unhappy with her, BUT every time I wanted to break things off something bad kept happening in her personal life and I didn’t want to pile on the suckiness of life.Seriously, gents. Try not to let a fling turn into a full blown relationship. I learned through relationships after THAT one that I really could have gone my entire life without being with her and it would have actually made my life better.
Everyone makes fun of him behind his back. Literally, everyone, even his friends.
My mental health started suffering and heavily affecting me on the lead up to things ending.That the following months where he strung me along with the hopes of getting back together were nothing but cruel.The physical pain from crying so hard over him and my heart breaking every time I thought I had fd up and wasn’t doing enough, not being able to bring it up to him or talk things over because he takes everything personally and shuts down emotionally.I wish him nothing but the best and I’m truly happy for him and his new relationship, but will never get over how he made me feel and fd me over to just throw it away like it was nothing.
That I only married him because I desperately wanted to be married and have a family.And that I always thought he was ugly.
That while it was fantastic that she was adventurous and pretty much down anytime, anyplace, for anything–and that was a major turn on……she was a dead fish when it came down to the actual deed.It was like waiting an hour for fireworks and… getting a Snap Dragon.
She was a terrible kisser.
Your dad was a horrible dad.
That I f****d his friend before we ever met.
She was the cataclyst for me realising it was a phase after all.
Her sister was better… (they knew I dated them both).
That I smoked weed when he wasn’t around. This was the late 90s and he was so anti-d**g he would have been horrified.
Though he had aspirations of being a chef, his cooking was mediocre at best.Also, that he lost his Mexican card when he tried to fix my couch with a fork….a FORK. (And before y’all come for me, I’m very much a Latina).
That he sucked at his major.
While she was cheating on me, I was doing the same in response.Very healthy relationship.
That her lady garden smelt really bad.
He was ugly af and I only fell for him through his personality (when he was sober) and I was so relieved I didn’t have to fake enjoy sleeping with him after we broke up.
Ex #2: I wasn’t attracted to her because of her weight. I loved her as a person (turns out I was wrong to, oops) but I just don’t find big attractive.Ex #1: I wasn’t attracted to her because of her BO. I tried everything to get her to wash, but she’d only take baths and just soak, and sometimes wash her hair.
You had a lesbian haircut, and you were probably the most probably most boring person I ever met.
That she’s fat.
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