If you’ve been living under a rock for awhile, first of all, congrats on getting out, second of all, you’d be forgiven for thinking that a “nice guy” means an actually nice young man. As too many people have discounted all too late, it really means the kind of guy who thinks basic human decency should be “rewarded” with romance.
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He was genuinely nice and I thought I was being too picky and maybe I could see this through, if I took the effort of getting to know him. But everytime I offered a contradictory point of view on any generic topic of discussion, he would proceed to casually mock my appearance, attire and my personality, in retaliation to my disagreement. That was the last date, obviously.Edit: He might not have been “genuinely nice”.
Went out with this guy a couple days ago. It was polite but we didn’t have chemistry at all. He was super friendly and fun so decided to still see where things could go. Went to his place to watch some tv and talk. It was fun so decided I’d agree to a second date if asked. Started to get late and I was getting tired so I told him I was heading home. He flipped out.Blocked my way to the door ”Didn’t you have fun?” ”What’s wrong” He insisted I aswered his questions and the fact that I was tired wasn’t cutting it. He got more mad and pushed me against the door. After the push I got out of there and he let me leave. Blocked him everywhere and now I have bruises on my arm to remind me of the incident.
We were friends in high school and most of college. It was one of those things where he was a friend of a friend, but we always went to the same parties, hung together in the same group and so on.The guys in the group would always say things like, “Ah man you and Kyle would be so great together! You should give him a shot!” I’d kind of laugh it off because for a majority of the time I had a boyfriend.Eventually me and the boyfriend broke up, and about a week later Kyle asked me out. I wasn’t really ready, but I figured it was a first date and everyone had been pressuring me into giving this guy a chance so I went.The whole evening was awkward. We just ordered a pizza and watched movies, which was what we did in our friend group anyways, but this guy would NOT STOP STARING. I felt like I couldn’t even eat because I was under a microscope. The evening ended uneventfully, but then there was the aftermath.We kept texting and seeing each other in the friend group, and about a week later he asked when we can have another date. I told him that maybe I had rushed into things too fast and I just wasn’t feeling any connection with him.“I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU!“Yup, dude found out I was single, dumped his girlfriend of 8 months just so he could ask me out to an awkward pizza date in his bedroom…The timely cherry on top is that they got back together, and apparently I’m tearing their marriage apart because she found a bunch of texts from me from six years ago and he admitted that he kept them cause he still likes me. I haven’t seen him in four years.Edit for timeline: We are friends in highschool (10 years ago) and college (5-6 years ago). While we are in college, he asks me out after dumping his girlfriend. Sometime after that they get back together and are married last year. Last week, a friend informs me that they are on the verge of divorce because she found texts he had saved (screenshots) from our college chats 5 or 6 years ago.Edit: Several people are commenting that I shouldn’t have gone out with him and just told him I wanted to stay friends… the thread is literally “girls guilted into going out with ‘nice guy’”.
I was that girl who loved the bad boys.My nice guy had been my best friend for a number of years and I always knew he liked me but I was busy chasing a******s.9 years we were best friends and grew up together and he watched me pick all the wrong people and get hurt. Other friends kept telling me to give it a chance etc. Two years ago he asked me to come over for dinner - it seemed fairly casual until I realised he’d asked me for Valentine’s Day. I can’t say I was guilted a-such but it still felt a little awkward. I was mega nervous thinking it was gonna be so awkward but when I turned up it was fine he’d cooked me a meal, bought flowers, a bottle of wine and chocolates and lit candles on the table. I don’t drink much so he ended up getting through the whole bottle of wine because he was so nervous but it was a lovely evening and things felt very natural so I decided to give it a go.We’re now headed towards our 2nd anniversary, have a lovely home together, a beautiful (but evil) Egyptian mau cat and couldn’t be happier. Because we were friends first we know we get on, we finish each other’s sentences and never run out of conversation. Yet to have one argument that goes beyond whose turn it is to wash up lol. He is genuinely the best thing to happen to me ever. Sometimes the nice guy does win!
All my friends said a guy from our group of friends was very nice, even though I felt like he was creepy. Went out once, thought I’d give it a chance, to be nice. Regretted it immediately.He asked me what I thought of being in a relationship with him, and when I said no/I didn’t want that (because I wasn’t very interested and we had only been friends before this), he said he was disappointed with my answer and expected something more worthy of him. He said that saying no was disrespectful. Big yikes.We met once after that because he surprise visited me a few months later. He asked me to ruffle through my hair because he wanted to feel my scalp, treated me like a dog and wanted me to sit next to him so he’d be closer to me. He also thought it was a great idea to mention that he sometimes hears voices in his head and has dreamt of killing people.I rushed him out of my apartment onto the street. I just wanted him to be gone. I checked my keys five times to see whether he took any. I’ve had to see him a couple times since then, and he is the most creepy, socially inept person I’ve ever met. He’s so aggressive and impulsive.. I am truly afraid he will re or kl someone someday, and I’m still afraid that that person could be me.edit: this blew up. Yes, he still is in my circle of friends. For some reason my guy friends laughed it off and don’t see him as much of a threat to anyone, let alone me. I avoid him as much as I can, and never see him in groups of less than five people.
Not outright guilted but more found myself in the situation and couldn’t back out. Bit weird at first given the circumstances of me distinctly not wanting to be there but things gradually got more weirder as the night went on. He made really intense eye contact and told me about how he doesn’t smoke or drink, just goes to clubs sober. Also told me about how he plans to stay in the country (he was a foreign student) but needs to settle down with someone here first. Then he told me he was really passionate. My d***s asked passionate about what and he just stared at me and repeated he was really passionate.It was st and I’m more vocal about whether or not I want to be somewhere/do something now.
Went on one date. He just kept talking about how horrible most women are and how gross periods were and v****a in general was also brought up briefly. He was very masochistic and homophobic.Never talked to him again. A couple years later when I was still in college a friend bumped into him at a party. Found him in a room blowing another dude.
Wasn’t really a date. I was at a hiking trip with my sister and other people from our village when we met a group of guys, drinking and having fun. Was on (german) fathers day, so it wasn’t an unusual sight. For some reason my sister got into a talk with the guys and somehow got me and her invited for the party at one of the guys house later. No big deal, we brought her boyfriend with us and were expecting some good time. My boyfriend was on a biking trip with his dad, so he couldn’t come.We arrive and nobody else is there, guy says they will all arrive later and we are early (30 minutes after the time he told us to be there) and we start drinking, having fun and everything. He clearly has a thing for me, invites me to go on festivals with him, sisters boyfriend tells me I would be stupid if I say no and he would totally be going. The others arrive and at some point the homeowner asks me to go out for a walk, he needs some air.We walk a bit and suddenly he turns around, telling me I am the love of his life, the girl meant for him, most beautiful, smart etc. he has ever seen. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say except “I have a boyfriend, you know..”, he said he doesn’t care, we’re clearly soulmates and then just kisses me out of nowhere. Tells me he would break up with his girlfriend for me (he never mentioned her before) and I should do the same.Luckily, my sister blacked out on the toilet and someone shouted at him for help unlocking the door, so we went back up. I took care of my sister, his girlfriend arrived, he pulled me aside and told me he would do it now, right here. I said “no” and he told me to take my sister and leave, what I did then. He messaged me on facebook the next day that I was a we and I lead him on and he almost broke up with his future wife for a btch like me.Tl;dr: Met a guy, got invited to his house, he wanted me to break up with my boyfriend, he wanted to break up with his girlfriend, kissed me, called me soulmate and then a w*e when I said no. All within 24 hours.Edit:Since a lot of you asked “why would you let a stranger kiss you” or if I told my then-boyfriend about it… we did not make out and did not kiss him back. He smooched my lips after he approached me in the middle of a sentence at high-speed and let go of me seconds later before I could even process what had happened.I CAN take care of myself and would have given him a good kicking, but I honestly was worried about my sister, even though I used the word “luckily”. At least I could make you laugh about that.
The date wasn’t too bad, although he kept changing pretty much every single sentence he said so it would fit my interest. Something like “I like ice cream” “Cool, I like frozen yoghurt” “oh yeah, that’s what I meant. Ice cream is nice but frozen yoghurt is amazing” and so on for 4 hours straight. At the end I had no idea what he was actually like.He also kissed me in the most awkward way possible. I guess he thought it was going to be romantic and spontaneous but it wasn’t. Then kissed me again when he walked me to the train station. He hugged me so hard I couldn’t breath and started making weird noises (kind of like what some people do during heavy, pre sx make out sessions, except it was a rather quick kiss in a public place).Started texting me before I even got home and when I didn’t answer, got upset. Told him he was nice but I don’t think we’d work out. Said its cool, asked if we can stay friends. Silly me, I said yes.We kept talking for about a month, during which he very “friendly” kept checking if I had slept with someone else and making sure I know how much of a sx god he is (“you know, I once even made my lesbian friend cm super hard”). This is also the time I met my current BF and was meeting a bunch of new people at uni, so we’d talk less and less each week.Then one day he asked me out. I said I wasn’t sure if he was completely fine with us being just friends so that wouldn’t be appropriate. He went on this massive rant about how he’d actually been seeing someone else in that time, but they broke up shortly before that, how he’s so over me and didn’t even think I’m that hot anymore and how nothing would happen. I said no, because I was broke and couldn’t fully enjoy myself while worrying about not spending too much (we were supposed to go to a Metallica concert, apparently his best friend had spent £120 on his ticket but then last minute found something better to do…) but he promised he’d take care of everything and we could chill at his place with pizza and some films, as friends. I said I could consider the concert but there’s no way I’d stay over. I mentioned texting someone else to see if they would be fine with me sleeping over at theirs afterwards. He jokingly asked if it’s someone I’m sleeping with and I said it’s none of his business. Then he told me how much of a b**h I was for sleeping with other people and not sleeping with him, said it’s so unfair that he knew me so much better but he felt like other people had more rights to me than him and that we kissed and he didn’t expect me to be this slutty (btw, I did not want to kiss him, it was just so random I felt him making out with me before I even realised what his intentions were and stopped it rather quickly). The he called me a few more names, said he’s such a nice guy and didn’t deserve to be treated like that and we never spoke again.Fun times.
As it turned out, he lied about just about everything, from his favorite movie to his moral opinion on bathing suits.He would not take no for an answer. If I persisted, it meant I didn’t love him. He often threatened not to kiss me ever again if I didn’t do xyz (like send nudes, do certain sexual things, etc).He taught me that my opinion and my feelings meant nothing. Even on a basic “how was your day” level. At first he would ask and acknowledge my answer. Then he would ask and then immediately change subjects, as if he hadn’t heard me. And then finally he stopped asking.But he was a catch. Girls never gave him the chance he deserved. They were all missing out. /s.
Badly. Seriously, it was the worst relationship of my life. He was the nice guy who was always there for me, etc, etc. Until we started dating. Then I saw his mother more than I saw him, when I did see him he pressured me constantly for s*x, and he cheated on me.I think he just built me up in his mind so much, that it became more about “winning me” than actually liking me, so once he got me he had no reason to be so “nice” any more.
Well I might not be a girl I was the nice guy in my first “relationship”. I was meeting a girl which I knew from a friends girlfriend. Well at first everything was nice and we weren’t having anything serious just meeting like friends playing paintball and billard and so on… however I really liked her and she did recently break up and I tried to cheer her always up … so then I asked her politely if she would consider trying a relationship and to my surprise she said yes. I was the happiest guy on earth this day.So we started dating seriously going to cinema and doing stuff alone. But I don’t know why however I really got clingy. Like I wanted to see her all the time I wanted her to come over to me and it ended up creeping her…which in hindsight I really understand and she got continually creeped out until she broke up and I was devastated. I didn’t force her to anything but I was as I said clingy. After that I was depressed for over a year and than got my s**t together however I am sorry that she had to experience me like that and I also apologized for that and now we are just normal friends. Not as good as before but well.But all in all it ended up good for me since cause of that I ended up with my current girlfriend and without seeing my failures from past I wouldn’t be able to hold this relationship.
He was the nicest guy I’ve met. Super sweet and charming and all that good s**t. Good at ACTING nice, sweet, and charming, that is.I’ve always noticed how self-centered, guilt-tripping, and manipulative he was but hoped he’d grow out of it.He did not.Then after so much psychological abuse from him, I finally just snapped. Then, from his perspective, I somehow ended up being the person who guilt-tripped him and abused him and I had soo many red flags.Go figure.
He offered to take me to a restaurant on campus that he claimed everyone needed to experience. It was just a little sandwich diner so I figured worst case it’s an hour wasted. It also seemed like several people at the party would be going because they were all telling me how great it would be and what they usually ordered and when we should go. I didn’t know him very well but he seemed like the nice but awkwardly shy and quiet nerd type. Everyone liked him and I’d never heard anything bad about him. We also wouldn’t be alone so what could go wrong? He offered to pick me up at my dorm and even though it was only a short walk I accepted the ride because I knew he lived farther away. Get in his van and one of the first things he says is I hope you don’t mind but I thought we’d go somewhere nicer. I’m dressed down because this is essentially a flat bread pizza joint with funky artwork on the walls but realize he’s in a nice shirt and pants. Feel like I can’t say no because I did agree to go eat, I’m hungry, and I’m already in a moving vehicle. He drives me at least 20mins away to freaking olive garden. That’s when I realized he clearly thought we were on a date and that no one else was coming.Cue awkward conversations and just trying to finish mediocre pasta so I can go back to my dorm. Campus buses didn’t even go to that part of the city so I had no way to leave without him. But it was only an awkward dinner and not quite red alert abort now. Driving back to campus he mentions his frat house is having a party and we could head over. I’ve been to the house dozens of time with friends and know most of the dudes so figure why not, a nice party might save this weird evening. But of course we get there and it’s actually a party with a sorority so no outsider girls are allowed until after 10/11pm. It’s like 8/9 at this point (memory is a little fuzzy on what the rule and actual time was). So we have to go up the back stairs and straight to his room. Get there and see his roommate is avoiding the party and think ok just need to kl an hour, at least we aren’t alone. Roommate leaves after we decide to watch star wars - don’t know if dude asked him to leave or he thought we were on a date. Whatever I love star wars this works and now we don’t have to talk for the next hour.Except now I’m locked in his bedroom and he’s trying to sit way too close to me. And now he’s trying to put his hand on my leg. Then he switched to putting an arm around my waist and started trying to grope upwards. I’m trying to be nice and not escalate things or burn bridges because I know this one guy can get me blackballed from ever returning. (Sounds silly but a lot of my guy friends were from that house and my girlfriends all partied there. Years later I married someone I met there, so it was pretty important place in my life story). Stand up and ask for a drink hoping he has nothing in his room and luckily he only has water. Start texting a few people I know should be out there at the party to rescue me and bring a drink. He answers the door and a group of my friends see me behind him, wide eyed and pantomiming save me. No one knew I was there since we snuck in and the music was so loud you couldn’t hear anything happening in the rooms. Dude tries to keep me in his room with the whole you aren’t supposed to be out there yet rule but somehow my best friend is already there and pulls me out. Run away and never look back.I never said anything about what happened except that what I thought was going to be a social dinner turned into a s*y forced date. That is until he started telling the other brothers of the house what a bh I was and how I led him on. So then they all got to hear about what a f***g creep he was. It wasn’t supposed to be a date, I didn’t flirt with him that whole night, and I definitely wasn’t putting out lock me in your room and grope me vibes. Luckily everyone who mattered believed my story and not his. It also helped that the others who had been in on the initial let’s go to x place together talk remembered and couldn’t believe he had forced me to go to olive garden instead. Could have gone much worse but it also never should have happened.Edit- added in paragraph spaces.
I didn’t date him, but he and I were close friends in college. He was also very good friends with my boyfriend at the time (I met him through my boyfriend). We used to chat for hours at night (either online or in person) and he was such a fun person to be around.One night, he sent me a long letter, confessing his interest in me. I was really surprised, because I was young and also hadn’t seen any of the traditional flirtatious signs (no sexual innuendos, no coy touching, no lingering eye contact). I said I really cared about him as a friend, but wasn’t interested in him that way, and I also pointed out that I was dating his friend. He sent a torrential wave of messages at that point, calling me “shallow”, saying I only liked my boyfriend (again, and HIS FRIEND) for his appearance, that I was a fraud, ungrateful, etc. Good times.
Guilted into having a 1 year relationship with one. He was super nice at first, and I was young and naive. He flirted, seemed nice and honest so I thought “what the hell? Why not give it a go?” big mistake.Realised quite quickly that he just wasn’t for me, we had very different political views, very different opinions on things, he was very degrading of me: made fun of my weight, made me think I was fat (I was not at all, always had a healthy BMI, always have been sporty) but obviously being my young teenage and vulnerable self, that really crushed my self esteem.So when I finally decided I had the balls to say i don’t wanna be with you anymore, he guilted me into staying with him, saying “you’ll never find a guy who’ll love you like I love you” or “if you leave me i’ll k**l myself” and all the rest of the typical reasons a “nice guy” will use to guilt you into staying.In the end I ghosted him, we were supposed to meet up, but I never showed up, I changed my number, deleted social media for a couple of years, moved out. Never heard from him again, which I am very pleased to say.
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I’m a guy and gave a “nice-girl” a chance. She was one of those “I’m not like other girls” girls.We went out for a casual pizza and beer dinner (this was in college ~12-15 years ago). She kept repeating what we would now call memes, like “OMG pizza is lifestyle choice”. Awkwardly charming the first time, but not funny and annoying the 10th time.She talked about herself the entire time. Most of it was humble bragging about her “faults” like, “Its just that I care too much about my friends” and “I guess I’m just the type of person that’s 100% honest and can’t accept dishonesty in others”. I could have left for 10 minutes and it wouldn’t have interrupted her conversation. It was like watching a one person episode of the Gilmore Girls.Afterwards we left separately and we didn’t kiss or anything. The next day over MSN Messenger she asked when our next date was and I polity said I didn’t think we had a connection.She messaged me for about two weeks after that with increasingly desperate things. It started with, “Pick any place, and I’ll buy!” to “Feeling lonely tonight, want to come over for some fun” to “[mutual friend who set us up] and I are talking about threesomes and we need your opinion” (a total lie, as I learned from the friend), to a picture of her cleavage.She started dating some other dude and the messages stopped.
Hope this is okay, as I’m a guy that went out with a “nice girl.“We originally met on Tinder. Everything clicked, and it was like we were best friends; later I would realize she was just saying what I wanted to hear in order to lure me to a first date. We met at a local coffee shop. When I arrived to the coffee shop I couldn’t find her so i messaged her and she assured me she was there. I sat down and a woman sat down across from me - not the woman in the pictures. She explained that sometimes she has to use other pictures because she just wants guys to give her the chance. I don’t want to sound shallow, but she was unattractive, mostly because she didn’t take care of herself, which is weird because she was a nurse - more on that later.Regardless we have a cup of coffee and as we finish up the date she makes a comment that implies that she wants me to take her home. I came up with something about having my sister over. After that I also made it clear I didn’t think it was going to work out.Over the next few weeks she texted me lots so I blocked her number. I got a text from a number who I didn’t know and they sent a selfie: it was my friend from high school! We go and meet at a pizza place that night and it isn’t that friend, it the girl from before. I tell her that it wasn’t okay, etc.. She tells me to sit down because she already ordered me my favorite pizza - real creeped out here. Whatever. I sit down and she puts her purse on the table. She says, “I know how much you like guns (I used to build rifles for local PD) so I picked this up.” She opens the purse and turns it towards me with her hand inside holding something. Looked like a .45 caliber handgun, specifically a Glock.Here is where I am lucky - I am categorized at work as, “high risk of kidnap/robbery,” for lots of reasons. I just have to get to my phone and hold down a speed dial key and police will show up (they have my location at all times).I asked, “Did you order us drinks?” She said she didn’t, so I offered. She said she didn’t trust me because I might run away, so instead she got up and went over to the bar to order drinks. At that time I hit the speed dial and slid my phone across the floor under another table. I don’t know why, but it made sense at the time. Police show up, lock down the place, I explain everything, and they arrest her.In the ‘investigation’ they determined that three years earlier she was my nurse. I was a diver and had DCI and had a stroke so I was in hyperbarics and then the ICU for sometime. She had started to stalk me back then. I also learned she had been on my employers radar and they neglected to tell me. They knew about it almost the whole time she was stalking me.In the end, she did jail time for aggravated stalking, unlawful concealed carry, and she lost her nursing license for using her job to obtain information about patients illicitly.TL;DR: Met ‘perfect’ girl on Tinder. Show up, fake pictures. Date ends. She pretends to be an old friend to lure me to a pizza place. She has a gun. She goes to jail and I find out she was my nurse years before and was stalking me for three years. I also find out that my employer knew the whole time.
Most were just awkward, but I do remember one that got horrifying. I don’t remember quite how we got on the topic of conversation, but in an attempt to get me to see that feminism was bunk, he asked me “would you rather be r***d, or sent to jail for 20 years?”Night ended pretty quick after that. I’m still not quite sure what he was going for there except proving the opposite of his argument.
I married him! Literally the best, most reliable, dependable and sweet guy who supports me in absolutely everything. Gives me everything I never knew I needed. He is my absolutely hero and I couldn’t be happier!
He was lovely, then I accidentally got pregnant and he became distant and horrible, and left me to deal with a very difficult situation completely on my own, then broke up with me 2 weeks after saying that ‘whatever relationship he got into, it wasn’t going to be long term and he knew that from the beginning’.
When we eventually broke up he would tell me he wanted to kl himself a lot…But when we were actually dating he wasn’t too bad, lied a bit and spread things about me that weren’t true but nothing too bad.Édit: I broke up with him because of the lies and spreading things, I understand that it is not okay behaviour but it just wasn’t anything insane. J***s things to do but nothing story worthy.
I wasn’t necassarily “guilted” - my parents liked him and that’s probably why I didn’t cut him out sooner. I never really saw him as a romantic interest, he obviously did.On paper, I guess he was a good “candidate”. He had a good job, was politically active (not for a party I liked, but my parents liked it) etc. But he had this creepy, controlling thing about him. Like he said he’d " help me lose weight” while I was having hot chocolate (despite never being officially together). He had gotten a matching scarfication with an ex (I mean not huge, but a little star, but still). He sort of convinced me to a bar I told him I didn’t want to go to. He was manipulative.Bottom line is, while my parents apparntly found him the ideal son on law, I wasn’t into him. I thought he was too old for me, wasn’t attracted to him, and our ideologies and personalities clashed.We went for drinks a couple of times, and it only enforced our differences every time.Even years later my mom was like - oh, he was nice! Why did it never become a thing.
It was fine for a year, then he became abusive. I wasted 4 years of my life with him, now I have panic attacks when his name is mentioned.
I went out with this guy I met while I was in a cafe alone. I was 17. He knew that. But while he was talking I figured out he was 30+. Creeped me out because he knew my age from the beginning and still wanted us to go out. D**n I was a dumb kid.
Poorly. I married one.I was very young and stupid and had extremely low self-esteem. He wasn’t that good looking and was extremely awkward. But at first he seemed sweet enough and the guys that he worked with actually begged me to go out with him because he was too shy to ask me. The guys he worked with were affable enough and I liked them. Why not?Our first date was kind of awkward but he came across as very sweet. I fell for it.Slowly, things took a turn. It was so slow I did not realize what was happening. This is the way a lot of abusive relationships go. Starts out fine and then one day you realize that you’re being manipulated, you’re miserable, and the person you thought was great is actually terrorizing you– but it’s too late. He was never physically abusive but he would constantly call me a w***e because I had dated other guys before him and had (note past tense) guy friends. He alienated me from all of my friends. He constantly tried to guilt me for wanting to spend time with my family. During the entire duration of the 3-year relationship, I was allowed to go on an outing to a theme park with my sisters once. And I had to bring him back gifts or else he’d be mad (I think it was more about making sure I was still thinking about him while I was out without him– he could not stand never having attention from me).It was hell, I hated my life, I gained 60 miserable pounds because when I wasn’t working, I was pretty much imprisoned in our house and didn’t have anything to do except for eat and watch television (bad neighborhood, no yard, so I couldn’t even really go outside). He also controlled all of our money, although I earned more than he did. I was not allowed to spend money on myself and when I did it was a huge guilt trip. When I got a new job I bought myself a $50 purse (with his supposed blessing in the store) and the whole way home from the outlet mall he berated me for how spoiled and entitled I was. We had $5,000 in savings and no real bills, because his family pretty much paid them all and the house was free to him. He squandered thousands on video games, pokemon cards, and action figures though and that was fine.Once I graduated college I got a good job with some wonderful coworkers who helped open my eyes to how weird he was and how I didn’t have to live like I was. That I was good enough to make it on my own and good enough that if I wanted, I probably wouldn’t be alone for the rest of my life, like he’d convinced me I would be. Because of them, I got creative and started walking on my lunch breaks and counting calories. They really encouraged me. I’m so lucky that they were there for me, a woman 15 years younger with a husband who would sometimes pop into my workplace and make things awkward (because he noticed I was changing and had to check up on me, you see), instead of firing me because my then-husband was behaving inappropriately at my place of employment.I lost the 60 pounds, left him, and got a new boyfriend (who also sucked, but for different reasons– recovering from your lowest low takes time I suppose). It’s been almost 10 years now but I was able to regain and rebuild the friendships I had lost, I eventually started dating my now-husband, who was one of those friendships, and I’m happy and healthy with a wonderful little family of my own.If you’re in a relationship where you feel stuck like this and are miserable, it can get better. You don’t have to live your life that way, and you don’t deserve to live your life that way.
Sy. Knew he liked me for a while, I had joined a friend group in my last year of high school and he was in it, so we became friends and it became obvious pretty quickly. Skipping class to hang out with me, buying me gifts, etc even though I was kind of with someone at the time. Eventually things ended with the other person so in my naivety I figured I should give him a chance… even though I had no romantic interest in him. We started going out, in the first week there was a night we were hanging with friends and he got so drunk so fast and everyone expected me to take care of him. Wasn’t happy but oh well. As things continued on, it happened a few times. He also wanted to hang out or talk to me all the time. We almost never hung out with other friends, I figured they were all busy. He became so clingy and jealous so fast, while also being incredibly self depricating and putting me on a pedestal. Finally I couldn’t do it anymore, after only 3 or so months, broke up with him. Found out he had been cancelling plans or avoiding making plans with people, even on days I worked, “in case I’d be done early”. They all thought I was being a possessive bh but nope he was just obsessed. He half stalked me for about 2 years afterwards.He seems to be doing better now though, and he wasn’t “incel” or a total p**k. Just thought I was “too good for him” and tried to make my world revolve around him which isn’t my thing.Edit: grammar.
I wasn’t exactly guilted, but we had many mutual friends and acquaintances. He seemed nice enough, I had a hint of “nice guy” but I thought it wasn’t fair to label him without actually getting to know him. I had gotten out of a very long-term relationship and felt maybe I was being TOO picky and I should open my horizons. He was an hour late (I only stayed because I didn’t want to waste my expensive drink) and then spent the entire evening contradicting me, and not in a polite/common discussion type of way. He would get visibly annoyed if we disagreed even on a common topic. There were many gems, but some of them really stood out - he told me he would not be upset if President Obama was assassinated, which set my radar off but the real jaw dropper was yet to come. (We did not politically agree, but regardless, I would very much feel terrible if someone I didn’t like, politically or otherwise, was m***d.)He then told me “you know, I have to be honest, I am really surprised you aren’t a shallow bh since you’re really pretty and friendly. I used to think you would just be fake friendly.” I honestly wish I was lying, but nope, he said that word for word. I had no idea how to respond, and I think my jaw hung open for a minute or so. I was genuinely shocked that not only did someone at all, but especially on a date with me say that, but said it thinking I would take it as a compliment. He then left me in the rain when his Uber came first.He texted me a ton after that for a second date because he apparently thought the first went swimmingly. I tried to gently part ways and say I didn’t think it was going to work out, and although I’m not an easy to offend person, his assumptions of me had really been hurtful to me. He 1000000% considered himself a Nice Guy, and after that date I knew my original feeling had been right.
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