Datingis tough! It would be way easier for many of us if romance was like what we see in the movies. But real-liferelationshipsrarely work like they do on the silver screen. Doubt. Anxiety. Fear. Rejection. That’s just the tip of the emotional iceberg. Especially in modern times.Reddit users took to aviral threadon r/AskMen to share what they’ve personally experienced to be the hardest parts of dating as men. We’ve collected their most powerful and honest insights to give you a glimpse into how brutal things can get. Scroll down to see for yourselves, Pandas.This post may includeaffiliate links.
Datingis tough! It would be way easier for many of us if romance was like what we see in the movies. But real-liferelationshipsrarely work like they do on the silver screen. Doubt. Anxiety. Fear. Rejection. That’s just the tip of the emotional iceberg. Especially in modern times.
Reddit users took to aviral threadon r/AskMen to share what they’ve personally experienced to be the hardest parts of dating as men. We’ve collected their most powerful and honest insights to give you a glimpse into how brutal things can get. Scroll down to see for yourselves, Pandas.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
The most apt analogy I’ve heard is that if quality partners are like fresh drinking water, men live in a desert and women live in a swamp. It’s a struggle for both, but it’s not the same struggle.
How do I show I’m interested without being a creep?Can I read her signals accurately?
Forbes reportsthat nearly a third of adults in the United States have used a dating site or app. Meanwhile, most people feel quite optimistic about their dating lives.According toa Pew Research study from 2023, 36% of respondents felt somewhat positively about dating, 24% felt very positively, and only 4% felt very negatively.
Forbes reportsthat nearly a third of adults in the United States have used a dating site or app. Meanwhile, most people feel quite optimistic about their dating lives.
According toa Pew Research study from 2023, 36% of respondents felt somewhat positively about dating, 24% felt very positively, and only 4% felt very negatively.
The hardest part of dating as a man (who isn’t super duper model-tier hot) is keeping the woman on board long enough that she gets to see your charm, and humor and positive points.Personality DOES count, but it’s a moot point when most women will ghost or dismiss you LONG before you get a chance to show what a charismatic, fun person you can be.
This is true. I saw myself as a “catch” because I owned my own place, had a masters, and was making high 5 figures, and took care of myself and still couldn’t date anyone.Ironically now that I’m older and they are older the tables have turned cause I’m “stable”, but I’ve been stable, what the f**k changed?
The constant rejection. Get rejected 1000 times and you get more than a little gunshy. The worst is when they assume it must be a joke. Because you have to be joking if you think she might be interested.
Even thoughdating appshave exploded in popularity in recent years, they are far from perfect. For one, they demand a very different way of communication compared to asking someone out in real life.On top of that, it’s often hard to fully understand what someone’s character and behavior are like online. We tend to present idealized versions of ourselves on the internet. And dating apps are no different. What you’re seeing is a highly curated version of the person.
Even thoughdating appshave exploded in popularity in recent years, they are far from perfect. For one, they demand a very different way of communication compared to asking someone out in real life.
On top of that, it’s often hard to fully understand what someone’s character and behavior are like online. We tend to present idealized versions of ourselves on the internet. And dating apps are no different. What you’re seeing is a highly curated version of the person.
I can’t speak for the majority. But ever since I stepped foot out of college, dating has become sort of…transactional.Through non-work social/networking/private events, they say I look like a “one-night” kind of guy.Though work events, I always sense that they just wanna use me for my network.However, the best dating experiences I’ve had were from girls I met at volunteering, exercise groups, or when I’m abroad. It’s just more wholesome to meet people without introducing yourself as “XYZ from XYZ industry.” They judge you as who you are without the added spice.
Constant rejection.I have seen female friends cry for hours over the fact that one guy said no when they asked him out, and how awful it was and how guys could never understand how they feel. Lady, guys get rejected all the time, we know how it feels.
Moreover, online dating tends to create a deep sense of FOMO (fear of missing out). Even if you match with a great person and have a genuinely fun date, there’s always a nagging thought at the back of your mind: what if you can do better?Instead of committing to a good relationship, some people give in to the FOMO. They’re perpetually on the lookout for someone better and better. All the while, they’re moving on from truly quality people while their standards keep rising.
Moreover, online dating tends to create a deep sense of FOMO (fear of missing out). Even if you match with a great person and have a genuinely fun date, there’s always a nagging thought at the back of your mind: what if you can do better?
Instead of committing to a good relationship, some people give in to the FOMO. They’re perpetually on the lookout for someone better and better. All the while, they’re moving on from truly quality people while their standards keep rising.
Nobody wants to date someone who classify themselves as good X for the same reason you don’t say “I’m not racist”: actions speak louder than words, and if you have to vocally affirm you’re not a racist or a good guy, then maybe you’re not so much those things in the first place.To me the hardest part about dating as a guy is to make others confortable. There is an inherent display of power at play with men, and showing that you are in fact a gentle giant is hard in the beginning can be hard, especially if the relationship is new.
You have to both impress and be yourself, but if being yourself isnt impressive you wont get anything started, and if being impressive isnt being yourself, you may get things off the ground, but it will be unsustainable and fail in the future.
As we’ve covered previously onBored Panda, some of the mostattractive traitsthat people can have include being kind and loving and having a good sense of humor.
The latter indicates that someone is smart, creative, and socially aware, which are great attributes for a potential mate to have.
Being denied any support or compassion whatsoever and somehow being expected to be confident. THEN I might get the support and compassion I don’t need as much anymore.
The hardest part about dating as a man, is that you’re never good enough.
Walking on egg shells for miles to reach a person who 9 times out of 10 isn’t “good” themselves. Mehhhh.
It’s the amount of competition. Back in college before all the online dating apps, you were just essentially competing with other dudes in that general area at that time. Now, you’re competing with every male within your specific age range within a 50 mile radius or more.Also, your profile needs to be exciting and interesting enough. When I first started online dating before I was married, you just needed a couple photos. Now 10 years later and divorced, I need a picture of me on a mountain top. A picture of me, but not too close, but not too far away. I need a picture of me with friends, but not too many friends. And I need a candid photo of doing something outside.I luckily met my current GF after using Hinge for a couple weeks, but I absolutely hated the experience.
Can sum it up in a conversation I read in a forum outside of reddit. Someone asks “Should a guy bring flowers on a first date?“Most responses were ambient, just stating a preference but a fair few read like this:1: “Ugh, flowers, tells me the guy is a total cheeseball and now I’ve got to carry flowers around all evening.“2: “If a guy doesn’t bring flowers on a first date it tells me he’s trash and has no class.“Both examples, guy is getting cussed as if he’s a problem. Caught between being cheesy or rubbish. Not even a thought of looking within to see if they are the problem for getting bent out of shape about the presence (or lack thereof) of flowers.
Women who like bread-crumbing and only provide one line dead end responses to thoughtful conversation starters. The entitlement that comes with the “entertain and impress me,” mentality that some women have all while contributing little to nothing to the interaction. That said, the fact of the matter is dating is not the goal. You shouldn’t want or expect to have meaningful interactions with most people. The goal of dating is to find someone who accepts and love’s you for who are and gives you permission to exist just as you are. At least it is for me anyway. Whether you find yourself more often f*ck-zoned or friend-zoned this is probably a difficult proposition regardless of gender.
I think that dating as a woman is like having Netflix and wanting to watch a good movie among a lot of trash movies and shows, and dating as a man is like wanting to watch a good movie, but only having over-the-air television networks.
See Also on Bored Panda
My female friend was saying that dating as a woman is the hardest thing in the world because you can never find a good guy.It’s hard to find a gal at all… good or bad, lol. I feel romantically/sexually invisible to women. I get way more attention from gay/bi men and that’s saying a lot considering how much smaller potion of the population they make up.Not that I’m looking right now, but it’s not like I’m turning anyone down either. I haven’t had a woman besides my SO obviously interested in me in 14 years.
Meeting single women. Where can you meet them without being shamed and lambasted? Yet you’re a loser if you can’t meet them.If women are interested, they’ll “drop hints” like blinking and breathing. If you approach and she doesn’t like you, then you’re “creepy and weird”.If she likes you and you don’t approach, then you’re “not a real man” and it’s your loss. You’re expected to initiate everything from the first conversation to physical intimacy but you’re “creepy and weird” if you find women sexually and romantically attractive.
After a while it feels like going hat in hand asking for money trying to get a damn date for Saturday night.I mean if a female friend approached me and asked me to set her up with a 5’11” 160 pound single guy who likes to bike, rollerblade and has a slight British accent and is studying physics, my reply would be - I can do that but can probably only get 4 guys that match this description exactly and it’s gonna take me about 20 minutes.Whereas you ask a female friend if she has any single friends that would be interested in a guy like me, I get a quick reply of - no.
The hardest part about dating as a man is women like your friend.
A. Because if you met the girl online you are literally competing with probably dozens of other guys for her attention.B. You always have to pay.B doesn’t sound that bad on the surface. But it adds up and sometimes starts to feel as though we are being taken for granted.It feels like we are escorting this beautiful princess around, which everyone loves and adores. Everyone is fawning over her, if you make one mistake she’s gone and on to the next one.You’re just some chump who happens to have the credit card tonight which is paying for everything. Even the silly little add ons she orders and doesn’t eat. (“Did you really have to order that appetizer? You didn’t even eat it?")C. You’ll spend the whole night talking about her and her problems.Nobody cares how you feel. Nobody wants to hear about your day or your life. You’re there to keep the girl entertained. And if you can’t do that, then there are ten guys waiting on her phone to take her out at any moment.
It’s funny when you hear women saying they can’t find a good guy and as a guy you’re like “you mean you can actually find anyone at all?” Women go through their own struggles and I’m not trying to downplay that, but I don’t think most of them understand what it’s like when you have not options because it seems like no one wants you in the first place.That’s lonely af and destroys your self esteem. Women might complain that they can’t find a good dude, but at least there are guys pursuing them. There’s a degree of self worth there, where as guys can feel like they have no worth.The thing too is that women have that inherit self worth because they’re women. They don’t have to make themselves more interesting or atleast not until they get older. The most given advice on this sub for dating is that we need to improve ourselves and make ourselves more desirable to women. We need to workout, build our careers, acquire hobbies and skills, get out of your comfort zone and learn how to communicate/approach. What do most women need to do? Mostly to look pretty and show up, don’t be an a***e and you’re good.There’s a reason why there’s a growing number of guys just walking away from the dating scene entirely. All that effort and upending your life just to be told you’re a good person, you’re just not sexy enough.I think the reason a lot (not all) of older single women end up bitter and angry is because they are now experiencing what it’s like to be a man in dating. Especially concerning older men still being attracted to younger women.Again, not disparaging women, they might be able to get a lot of dates, but a relationship is another story. A lot of women struggle to actually find a guy that’s not just trying to pump and dump. I’m just saying that imo I would prefer to be in the position that women are in vs what guys have to go through. I’m fairly successful when I put in the effort, but that st can be exhausting at times.
You always have to perform. The times when your confidence is low, you won’t be able to date. You can’t doubt yourself openly, or be open about any insecurities or vulnerabilities. Even though a lot of these things are organic human experiences, women don’t want a partner who displays them.Also, if you don’t put in initiative, and “put yourself out there”, your chances are pretty low unless you’re a hotshot.Lastly, you’re expected to be sure about somebody even in the earliest stages (or at least act that way), when a girl can be “unsure about you” and act that way.
After agreeing to a date, it’s up to the man to do 100% of the planning.Even after multiple dates with the same woman, the man is generally expected to be the social planner. It’s exhausting and expensive since most women still don’t think they should pay for anything.
Women have it very easy. I make over over 500k as a physician. Before I met my wife, I dated countless women who thought my income was THE standard. These are women who worked at Walgreens, waitresses, school teachers, and other below average jobs.Like s**t 500k a year is 0.1% income. Barely 10% of men even make 100k a year. Unrealistic expectations, and then I was called shallow for only dating skinny women without children (10% of the female population ages 18-29).
Lol her saying “never find a good guy” implies she’s meeting men but they don’t meet HER standards.Have her create a tinder account and use pictures of an average guy. Then challenge her to get 1 date. She will realize how easy she has it within a week.
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