There are lots of things in the world we have to look out for. The"Dumb Ways" songlaid it out for us pretty clearly more than 10 years ago. Yet, the Internet seems to findnew dangerswe should be aware of every other week. This time, we’re featuring submissions from people about the times they messed around and found out. One person onlineasked: “What, due to experience, do you know not to [mess] with?” And people came prepared with all sorts of stories and practicalwisdom, from never engaging in road rage and never bothering a sleeping person to taking good care of your eyes.This post may includeaffiliate links.
There are lots of things in the world we have to look out for. The"Dumb Ways" songlaid it out for us pretty clearly more than 10 years ago. Yet, the Internet seems to findnew dangerswe should be aware of every other week. This time, we’re featuring submissions from people about the times they messed around and found out. One person onlineasked: “What, due to experience, do you know not to [mess] with?” And people came prepared with all sorts of stories and practicalwisdom, from never engaging in road rage and never bothering a sleeping person to taking good care of your eyes.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
People, in general.People. What a bunch of bastards.
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Iguanas. This happened about 25 years ago on a rare cold South Florida morning. My dad (big guy, with a soft spot for animals) found a “frozen” one in our backyard, and decided to bring it inside (in a closed off room) to warm up so that our dogs didn’t get to it while it was offline. As soon as that thing warmed up, it was like a bat out of hell! Teeth, nails, and tail whipping cut him up pretty good. Eventually got it out with a broom, and all my dad muttered was “ungrateful bastard” lolEDIT:Alright this comment is getting more traction than I anticipated! Yes, I am aware that iguanas are an invasive species in FL. I am not aware if 25 years ago, if they were deemed as big of a threat as they are now and/or if that was as common knowledge back then.What I DO know is that my dad took it as an opportunity to instill fascination and curiosity in me as a young child. He was able to safely show me it’s spines and talons, and explain that reptiles are cold-blooded and what that meant. Even more than the mini science lesson, he showed me compassion for living things. Especially as a young child, I think I would have walked away with a very different impression if he just killed it. Would that have been the right thing to do? Maybe. But I think the happy memory and lessons I learned that day were more important than a single iguana being let free.
Men who say all their exes are crazy.
Intuition. If something feels wrong stop. It doesn’t matter if it’s stepping out onto a snow-covered slope, pulling up to a sketchy gas station, or putting too small of a piece of wood in a table router, listen when your brain tells you “This is a bad idea.”.
Not finishing antibiotics. Just because you feel better doesn’t mean you stop taking them.
Seatbelts.Attended a friend’s funeral. He was riding the back seat and didn’t wear his seatbelt during a roadtrip, the driver was sleepy and hit a divider, the car spun out and he was flung out. He died during the ambulance ride, only 19 years old.First thing I do when I get into any vehicle is to buckle up.
Fanatical born again Christians.
Badgers.they may look friend shaped and may also respond to psspsspss but no touchy cos they scratchy bitey.
Never challenge a goose.
The sea.
Not listening to medical advice of a professional I am a nurse and have seen many people have horrible lives or deaths because they thought they were smarter.
Food poisoning. If you’ve ever had it for real, your personal food safety standards will rise significantly.
Narcissists.
People in the middle of a road rage incident. It is amazing how a grown adult can absolutely lose their mind when inside a vehicle.
Take care of your eyes (wear eye pro, mind what you’re doing, change contacts on time etc). A few years ago I got a small piece of metal in my eye. This became infected. Navy ships are nasty.The infection was misdiagnosed three times. After four days everything seemed ok. On day five I woke up with my eye basically rotting from a rare bacterial infection. I was fortunate enough to keep the eye so I appear unaffected but my vision was permanently damaged. Long exposure to sunlight causes migraines if I don’t wear sunglasses. I’ve had to learn to do a lot of things in different ways. All around a life changing event.
If you’re traveling never f**k with the locals. I’ve seen people pick fights with one of the locals and 10 of his buddies came out from every shop around them.
- People who believe they have nothing to lose. That could be a late-stage addict or your average teenager.* Anyone with cauliflower ears.
Don’t fight. You never know who’s carrying a knife or a gun until it’s too late. Life is not a fight scene in the movies, it’s 10X worse.
People who cook, deliver or serve your food.
Payday loans.
Construction sites.They are one of the most dangerous places to be so you have to be paying attention all the time you are in site.
Electricity.
Alcohol. I had my run of ten years drinking, had an epiphany that alcohol was killing me, and nearly five years later, those in my life who didn’t quit drinking are starting to frequent the hospital.
Hydration.Drink more water. Yes, you.
Garage door springs.
Swans during mating season. Think about a goose on steroids and three times bigger. They’ve been know to chase down jet skis and knock the driver into the water for getting to close to their nests.
The thermostat at my dad’s house.
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Cacti with fuzzy spines. Compared to the ones with big pointy spikes, these are the real terrors.It took like a week for all the tiny little spines to get worked out of my skin.
Gas station sushi. One impulsive night in college taught me that bathroom floors are cold and unwelcoming places for contemplation.
Stray tom cats. I had one hand my butt to me. Had to get rabies shots and everything.
Bulls.Don’t f**k about with bulls. Even “relaxed” ones.
Do not try to sit in some elderly person’s favourite seat. Do not try to change any table arrangements like placing the coffee pots differently than they have been used to for the last Thursday of every month for 20+ years. You will never hear the end of it for the rest of your sorry life. Just keep it as usual. Which can be hard if you’re new at your workplace.
Mentally unstable people.You think you’re crazy? Try arguing, fighting, or self-defending against a mentally unstable person.
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Trains. They have absolutely no opinion of you and even less regard.I nearly witnessed the death of a half dozen people who f****d with a train.In the town do the college I attended there was a train track that ran right thru downtown, and divided the bar scene. Well one night a train had decided to rest in the middle of downtown, and prevented drunk college kids from traveling to more bars to get more drunk. A bunch of people decided to cross underneath the parked train, and admittedly, I too was tempted.While a group was crossing underneath the train suddenly lurched forward about 6ft. One guy hit his head was bleeding pretty good, but everyone else was unharmed. I thought I was about to witness people separated from 1/2 of their bodies.Another time, as a kid, my buddy and I were putting pennys on railroad tracks to squish them. We decided to try it with a quarter, but when the train passed the quarter shot out and out a bullet-sized hole in the concrete structure behind us.
Old people.I saw a 65 year old on a cane Knock a 22 year old “fighter”…OUT. Not down…not over…and not use his cane.Fighterboi was bullying a smaller teenager.Crazy old man strength is real folks. Oldster may have trained but he still has the chops.
As a homeowner that has had a long list of st to do for a very very long time.I do not fk around with plumbing or garage doors. No f*****g way. Nuh uh. Nope.
Health.
Your workplace bosses.It’s very rare to have a boss that actually knows what he’s doing, isn’t insecure, and doesn’t take his position as a place of power, so you’ll most likely have bosses that are clueless, insecure and power hungry. Learn to respect their authority and do what you’re told. If you’re unsatisfied, leave.If you confront your boss he’ll make sure you regret it until the day you leave. It’s not worth it.
Strangers. Flipped one off, he tracked me down and threatened to murder me.
Mountainous roads during or after a blizzard. I’ve seen a few people just die from turning corners too fast and hitting oncoming traffic. Bridges freeze and traffic backs up for hours. Seen plenty cars spinning out on black ice.
Significant others or friends who only seem to kind of like you.
Don’t f**k with others food. Stealing their food off their plate can result in getting stabbed with a fork (my brother learned this the hard way) and messing with their food like adding stuff that typically wasn’t meant to be in it could result in time in a federal prison (a cousin did time for adding peanut powder to a person’s meal as a joke only they were allergic to peanuts).
Sleeping Black Snakes: I was out mountain biking early one spring morning, and this enormous (in my memory it was 8 feet long and big around as a beer can) black snake was lying across the trail in a patch of sunlight. Being the savvy and experienced outdoorsman that I am, I knew he had probably just woken up, and was still sleepy.So I picked up a long stick and gently nudged his tail to encourage him to move aside. He was not sleepy, no, not even a little bit; he whipped his massive and toothy head around so fast I never even saw him move. One second he was lying there, the next he was hissing in my face.The only reason he didn’t tear me up is his tail was so far away from his head that I was still out of reach after he reacted. I slowly walked away backwards, and he didn’t pursue me. I took another trail and left him to reign over his place in the sun.
The taxman..
My little cousin Peyton (not his real name), age 12 next month. More like a nephew, really. Middle of three boys. The quiet one. The one with the deadpan sense of humor. Never mess with the quiet one.Example: His older brother’s friend decided to “borrow” Peyton’s video game system and take it back to his house. The kid in question is two years older, at least a foot taller, and probably 20-30 pounds heavier than Peyton. When Peyton found out, he rode his bike over to the kid’s house and, without a word, beat the ever loving s**t out of him and then took his game system back.The line in the family is, “Peyton is not to be f****d with.” Lol.
Strep throat. Got it ten years ago and thought it was just part of a cold that would go away in a few days. It ruptured my appendix.I’m severely immunocompromised and just got it four weeks ago. Couldn’t swallow or breathe without crying in pain so I got antibiotics but still felt scratchy for the next week so I figured it was just damage and needed repairing. Went back this week after once again couldn’t swallow or do anything without crying. It didn’t go away the first time and came back with a vengeance.I’ve had strep for a month now and I can’t take my life saving meds because of antibiotics and am hoping this doesn’t turn to scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, or toxic shock syndrome. Because that’s a thing too.
Cops.
The Wu Tang Clan.
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