Experience is a great teacher. When you makemistakesand learn from them on your own, those lessons stick very well. However, some errors are quite costly in terms of time, money, energy, and newgrayhairs. So, ideally, it would be great if you could learn what nasty pitfalls to avoid from someone else who’s been in the ‘trenches’ longer.
Bored Pandagot in touch withGlenn Geher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at New Paltz and apublished author. Dr. Geher shed some light on the importance of failure and how it relates to success in life. Read on for his insights!
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Never Get personal loans to pay for something for your partner/spouse. If they can’t get it, there’s a reason. Don’t get into debt for them. No exclusions.
According toDr. Geher, mistakes and failure are part of developing successful strategies in life. “My research team has recently found that the number of failures one can think of is strongly predictive of one’s successes,” he told Bored Panda in an email.“So, failure is actually an essential part of development in life. That said, leaning on the wisdom of others is often necessary. For basic things, like keeping your hand out of a lit flame or staying from the edge of a cliff, listening to others who have experience is simply smart—and often even life-saving,” he explained.
According toDr. Geher, mistakes and failure are part of developing successful strategies in life. “My research team has recently found that the number of failures one can think of is strongly predictive of one’s successes,” he told Bored Panda in an email.
“So, failure is actually an essential part of development in life. That said, leaning on the wisdom of others is often necessary. For basic things, like keeping your hand out of a lit flame or staying from the edge of a cliff, listening to others who have experience is simply smart—and often even life-saving,” he explained.
Don’t marry an arsehole expecting he will change. If he’s a selfish arse he will remain so and will always be a shit husband and father.
Don’t let anyone stay without a clear indication of when they will be leaving.Invited a friend in dire straits to stay with me but never agreed a timescale. She ended up staying 18 months and barely paid anything in that time. Our friendship disintegrated for various reasons.Never again!
“Success in life truly requires a combination of both figuring things out on one’s own—failing partly along the way—and taking guidance from others who have simply been there.“Dr. Geherpointed out that failure is, quite ironically, one of the single greatest predictors of all kinds of things in life.“Taking chances, being open to failure, and taking paths that have ambiguity in life are all required for effective development in life,” he told Bored Panda.“At a broader scale, we need leaders—in all kinds of fields—who are willing to take risks and who are willing to face failure in the eye. Because at the end of the day, progress does not follow from a status quo approach to life.“You can find more of Dr. Geher’s thoughts about psychology on his Substack blog’The Human Condition.'
“Success in life truly requires a combination of both figuring things out on one’s own—failing partly along the way—and taking guidance from others who have simply been there.”
Dr. Geherpointed out that failure is, quite ironically, one of the single greatest predictors of all kinds of things in life.
“Taking chances, being open to failure, and taking paths that have ambiguity in life are all required for effective development in life,” he told Bored Panda.
“At a broader scale, we need leaders—in all kinds of fields—who are willing to take risks and who are willing to face failure in the eye. Because at the end of the day, progress does not follow from a status quo approach to life.”
You can find more of Dr. Geher’s thoughts about psychology on his Substack blog’The Human Condition.'
Never forgive a cheater - they will ALWAYS cheat again and if they left you because you’re the OW they will cheat on you. I believe this to be very true having worked in domestic abuse for many, many years.
If you’re not mature enough to have a conversation with your partner about contraception, then you’re not ready to be having sex.Just because he’s not hitting you doesn’t mean he’s a great guy.. raise the bar or stay single.Don’t accept the google log in notification thingy if you’re not 100% sure it’s actually you (ds learned that one the hard way recently).
When you consider all the things you have to do as an adult, it’s no wonder that some grownups yearn to be kids again. (Either that or win the lottery!) To put it bluntly—adulting is hard. There’s a frustrating amount ofresponsibilitiesandupkeepyou have to do.The list is inexhaustible. Not only do you have to work or study, but you also have to stay on top of housework and childcare. File your taxes on time and pay your rent and bills. Answer emails and maintain your home with your (non-existent) DIY skills. Eat and exercise well. Remember to spend time with your loved ones, but also get plenty of rest. Don’t forget your hobbies, find purpose in life, travel, be happy… it can all be so overwhelming!The fact is that there’s no way that you’ll fit everything into your schedule. You need to prioritize. Your relationships and health should be at the top of your list, for sure.Next, you have to make sure that you can actually survive. That means having a roof over your head and putting food on the table. Do what you need to do to keep your job. If you enjoy what you do and find purpose in your work, that’s a huge plus.
When you consider all the things you have to do as an adult, it’s no wonder that some grownups yearn to be kids again. (Either that or win the lottery!) To put it bluntly—adulting is hard. There’s a frustrating amount ofresponsibilitiesandupkeepyou have to do.
The list is inexhaustible. Not only do you have to work or study, but you also have to stay on top of housework and childcare. File your taxes on time and pay your rent and bills. Answer emails and maintain your home with your (non-existent) DIY skills. Eat and exercise well. Remember to spend time with your loved ones, but also get plenty of rest. Don’t forget your hobbies, find purpose in life, travel, be happy… it can all be so overwhelming!
The fact is that there’s no way that you’ll fit everything into your schedule. You need to prioritize. Your relationships and health should be at the top of your list, for sure.
Next, you have to make sure that you can actually survive. That means having a roof over your head and putting food on the table. Do what you need to do to keep your job. If you enjoy what you do and find purpose in your work, that’s a huge plus.
When you start dating you should be finding out, within the first few months:If they want kidsIf they like holidaysIf they have debtIf they have kids/wife elsewhere (sounds obvious but you’d be amazed)What they see as retirement
Always check your refund is in your bank account no matter how many times customer services say it will be there in x amount of days.
Then you have a mile-long list of what we like to think of as ‘grown-up’ maintenance. From doing thedishes, taking out the trash, and exercising to buying groceries, brushing your teeth, and getting regular health check-ups. These will eat up a ton of your time. But they’re necessary. If you have a partner, you can split some of these responsibilities, and that’s a huge win for you both!
Check your credit card statements regularly. My balance was a bit higher than I thought but instead of going back through the statements, I figured I’d just lost track and did a 0% balance transfer for the whole amount.It wasn’t until a hotel charged me for a room I’d cancelled within the free cancellation period, that I happened to trawl back through the transactions and saw a £2,700 charge, 3 months previously, for a trip to Euro Disney.I have never been to Euro Disney.
My cautionary tale would be not to ignore physical symptoms no matter how disgusting you feel, but seek medical help.Otherwise you might end up very, very ill!
Never pool all your money in a joint account if you are the higher earner, no matter how “trustworthy” you think your spouse is. Also never, ever give them a credit card in your name.
The reality is that you probably won’t have enough time or energy to visitevery placeyou want to see or do every activity you have on yourbucket list. That’s both scary (yikes, you’re getting older really fast!) and empowering (there’s less pressure to tick boxes and do things ‘perfectly’).
Listen to your gut instinct in job interviews.If something feels off, but you’re offered the job, don’t accept it.
Never start peeing unless you have checked there’s loo roll.
Always check your bath towels for spiders before wrapping yourself up in one.If you are a woman do not cry at the GP unless you want to be diagnosed with a mental health issue rather than diagnosed with whatever is causing you so much pain and distress that you cry.
Which of these pieces of advice did you find the most helpful, dear readers? What personal cautionary tale would you share with everyone to help them out in life? What tips would you give a younger version of yourself if you could?
If you’re a runner, don’t run behind a combine harvester going down a narrow country lane, because it might clip a wasps' nest, leaving you (and the dog) COVERED in really cross wasps.
If you have a niggle or feel uncomfortable with a professionals advice press the point. Dont just accept it. Trusting my accountant rather than my own instinct cost me £20k in additional avoidable tax that I shouldn’t have had to pay
Never, ever mistake a tube of haemorrhoid cream for a tube of Deep Heat cream.
Never walk on a hotel room carpet in bare feet, always use slipper socks/slippers.Trust your gut when it comes to keeping safe and always cross the street several times if you feel unsure about someone following behind you.Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, indifference is the goal during and after difficult times.Meet anyone with dependencies? Run for the hills rather than let them waste your life aswell as their own. They won’t change.Accept that your parents are just people and not some saintly being just because they are older, they are flawed too.Keep your face and hands out of the sun.Don’t spend time engaging with idiots, they are a lost cause.
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The easy option, comes at a price.
Always check how many items they’ve got when you brought a return. One time out of three they do a mistake.And always check your shopping receipts straight after the transaction. The day when you forget to do this you will be overcharged.
Your mortgage insurance, critical illness insurance, income protection and so on have MASSIVE exclusion clauses and riders. They don’t keep you safe. If you do manage to get them to pay out, they’ll find reasons to stop paying within 18 months or less.I ended up having to sell my flat for the outstanding amount. I honestly thought I’d taken all necessary precautions.
Get a spare front door key cut and hide it somewhere safe outside.Locksmiths charge a fortune to come out to your home to break you in.
Don’t underestimate the possibility and prevalence of hereditary personality and cognitive traits when considering procreation. DC’s dad is definitely an acquired taste with some peculiar quirks which, when initially dating, seemed charmingly idiosyncratic at best and, on reflection, at worst constitute a life-time of struggle. One DC has inherited many of these (definitely nature as opposed to nurture) and their life is so much harder for it.
Don’t swing on your chair because you might fall and give yourself a black eye.I tell my classes that I know a kid who did exactly this. They never believe me, because ‘all the teachers say that’.It was my DS.
When making fresh chicken stock, drain and store immediately.Do not store overnight in the fridge and do it the day after. Cos then you end up with chicken carcass jelly. And have to heat it up again to separate.
NEVER assume that your toxic narcissist MIL made appropriate arrangements for absolutely anything at all when they inherited a large sum of money.Also never take the advice of medical staff when they tell you how long someone with an inoperable brain tumour has left to live. They will be wildly wrong.
Never get married. Live with someone if you want but get proper advice on protecting your property first. So many people don’t look into the legal implications of marriage till it bites them on the arse at the end of it.If you don’t entirely believe your doctor is right get a second opinion. Could have saved me years of pain, disability and perhaps my cancer having progressed to stage 4.Join a union. RCN protected me when my employer turned out to have no integrity.Don’t let a man persuade you he knows best. So many things I went along with against my better judgement which turned to shit.
If you see a tempting offer or competition, always ask yourself, ‘What’s the least they could give me without actually lying about it?’ & don’t take anything for granted or give them the benefit of the doubt. If you’re happy with the least, go ahead.
My DH was driving around without tax for a couple of months. We both now pay monthly so it can’t expire without us realising again
Do not go to bed sooking a strepsil.I fell asleep and woke up in the morning it was still in my mouth (albeit much smaller) and it had burned a hole in the roof of my mouth. It was weeks before it healed properly.Also, do not sniff olbas oil whilst laying down. I did this and some dribbled out the bottle and down my nose and my nose and throat felt dry for days and days even though I guzzled water to try and get rid of it. It was awful!
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Facts
