Not everyfriendcan blossom into yourBFF. It’s rare to find someone who wants to sport matching bracelets, stay up all night exchangingsecretsand give you a key to their apartment that you’re free to use any time you want. And that’s fine! We need relationships that are low-stakes too; that doesn’t make them any less meaningful.But something no one should make space for is atoxicfriendship. Threads users have recently beenrevealinghow they found out a former “friend” wasn’t actually a fan of them at all, so we’ve gathered their most heartbreaking stories below. Keep reading to also find conversations with the woman who started this thread and Amanda Diaz, creator ofFriendship With Intention. And be sure to upvote the stories that hit home for you!This post may includeaffiliate links.
Not everyfriendcan blossom into yourBFF. It’s rare to find someone who wants to sport matching bracelets, stay up all night exchangingsecretsand give you a key to their apartment that you’re free to use any time you want. And that’s fine! We need relationships that are low-stakes too; that doesn’t make them any less meaningful.
But something no one should make space for is atoxicfriendship. Threads users have recently beenrevealinghow they found out a former “friend” wasn’t actually a fan of them at all, so we’ve gathered their most heartbreaking stories below. Keep reading to also find conversations with the woman who started this thread and Amanda Diaz, creator ofFriendship With Intention. And be sure to upvote the stories that hit home for you!
This post may includeaffiliate links.
We were in college. Broke, but ambitious. Always talking about dreams, success, and how we’d make it big together.Or so I thought.One day, I landed a small freelance gig. Nothing major, but enough to cover a few meals and celebrate. Excited, I told him.His response? A forced smile. A half-hearted “Nice, bro.” Then silence.I brushed it off—maybe he was having a bad day.But then it kept happening. Every win I shared, he downplayed. Every struggle, he magnified. When I failed, he was weirdly comforting. When I won, he disappeared.The final straw?I overheard him at a party. Telling someone I’d “just gotten lucky” and “wasn’t that smart.”That’s when I knew. He never wanted me to succeed—he just wanted me to stay small.I left that night and never looked back. Best decision I ever made.And here’s the crazy part… Once I walked away, my life leveled up fast. New opportunities. Better people. More success. It was like I had been carrying dead weight for years.Some people aren’t your friends—they’re just keeping you from becoming who you’re meant to be.
To find out how this discussion started in the first place, we got in touch with@high.imhion Threads, who was kind enough to have a conversation withBored Panda.“I started this conversation because I was looking through some old memories on my Snapchat of people I used to be friends with,” she shared. “I had this realization about my old friends from a few years ago, which is why we are no longer friends.”
To find out how this discussion started in the first place, we got in touch with@high.imhion Threads, who was kind enough to have a conversation withBored Panda.
“I started this conversation because I was looking through some old memories on my Snapchat of people I used to be friends with,” she shared. “I had this realization about my old friends from a few years ago, which is why we are no longer friends.”
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When I bought my first house, they made fun of me not having a lot of furniture constantly… constantly… Meanwhile, I bought my first house.
When I called her ten times over the course of six hours and she never picked up or called me back. And then proceeded to not come to my child’s funeral. Which was the reason for the ten calls.
We also asked the author why she believes some individuals pretend to be friends with people they don’t actually care about.“I’m not sure,” she said. “That’s never been the type of person I am, so it doesn’t really make sense to me. It may be because they see something in that person that they wish they saw in themselves. Also probably because misery does indeed love company.““I’ve realized that some people hate to see a person happy with themselves because they don’t know how to be, and they would rather tear someone else down and make them miserable as well, instead of working on themselves so that they can be happy with who they are,” the OP continued.
We also asked the author why she believes some individuals pretend to be friends with people they don’t actually care about.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “That’s never been the type of person I am, so it doesn’t really make sense to me. It may be because they see something in that person that they wish they saw in themselves. Also probably because misery does indeed love company.”
“I’ve realized that some people hate to see a person happy with themselves because they don’t know how to be, and they would rather tear someone else down and make them miserable as well, instead of working on themselves so that they can be happy with who they are,” the OP continued.
In highschool, when I was being bullied so badly I wanted to 💀, she stayed friends with the bullies “because they weren’t mean to her.” I stayed friends with her because I loved her.But then 10 years later, as I finally started to find my confidence, she told me I needed to “get off social media” and stop posting about books because people wouldn’t take me seriously as a mom. 🤯I finally ended the friendship.
When she handed me her phone to read through texts with a boyfriend & I scrolled up too far & saw “no I literally hate Mackenzie. She’s the worst friend ever.”I cut it off & didn’t speak another word to her
When I was asleep in the car after drinking with my panties showing, and they posted it on their public story, not even in the close friends
Finally, we asked what she thought of the replies to her post. “[They shocked] me, I honestly didn’t expect so many people to relate to that post,” the author shared. “The ones that really stood out to me were the ones that said their friends set them up to be se***lly assaulted. It’s so crazy to believe that some people would really go that far as to tear someone down.”
When I made a custom Sonic the Hedgehog cake for her sons birthday and she deliberately gave me the wrong address. Then when I got to the right place I found out she bought a cake from the store. I sent her pictures of the progress all morning and she said nothing.
When she said “We obviously see our relationship differently.” She called my parents/grandparents family, she didn’t need permission to come for meals or sleepovers, we’ve been “sisters” since babies, and then 30+ years later I’m misunderstanding that? I’ll never forgive that level of hurt.
We were also lucky enough to get in touch with Amanda Diaz, creator ofFriendship With Intention, to hear her thoughts on what makes a great friend.“Many qualities make a great friend but these three in particular stick out to me: A great friend is empathetic. They actively listen to you and make an effort to understand your perspective and feelings,” Amanda shared. “They listen to you with grace and compassion and not judgement.”
We were also lucky enough to get in touch with Amanda Diaz, creator ofFriendship With Intention, to hear her thoughts on what makes a great friend.
“Many qualities make a great friend but these three in particular stick out to me: A great friend is empathetic. They actively listen to you and make an effort to understand your perspective and feelings,” Amanda shared. “They listen to you with grace and compassion and not judgement.”
Next, she noted that a great friend is supportive. “They care about being there for you during the highs and lows of life and want to see you be successful and happy,” she continued. “In my blog post,60 Ways To Be A Supportive Friend,we dive deep into using a variety of methods to show up for your friends in impactful ways.“Finally, a great friend is trustworthy. “You should be able to trust them with your vulnerabilities and feel comfortable being yourself around them,” Amanda says. “They should be your safe space.”
Next, she noted that a great friend is supportive. “They care about being there for you during the highs and lows of life and want to see you be successful and happy,” she continued. “In my blog post,60 Ways To Be A Supportive Friend,we dive deep into using a variety of methods to show up for your friends in impactful ways.”
Finally, a great friend is trustworthy. “You should be able to trust them with your vulnerabilities and feel comfortable being yourself around them,” Amanda says. “They should be your safe space.”
When I was struggling and unemployed she used to call me every day to talk. We had been best friends for 5 years and roommates in college. I loved her like a sister. Then I got a job and I LOVED it. Suddenly she stopped calling. Kept canceling on me. Finally one day I realized it and I asked, were you just keeping me around to feel better about yourself? She replied “yes"Last time we spoke.
Welp… When I was 19, my best friend put a gun to my head while we were at the club because he wanted to impress some cartel dude we were acquainted withHe thought showing that he’s willing to do whatever would make them want to put him onThey didn’t. They thought he looked crazy and showed that he had no loyalty so they cut him off completely and blacklisted him from their club
And why is it so heartbreaking to find out a friend didn’t actually care about you? “Because you valued, trusted, andcared about them and their well-being,” Amanda shared. “You invested your time and energy into who they are as a person and the friendship because you genuinely liked them, and you thought they felt the same. It can leave you feeling lost, confused, and questioning your worth.”
When I went on a all inclusive vacation and she said to me, “You don’t deserve that”.
When she set me up to be SA’d after blacking out from my drink being spiked in her house. I found out the next day she gave permission for the guy to come into the room and lock the door while I was blacked out. Didn’t come to the hospital with me to support me and I found out the same night she was with my attacker and cousins playing cards. I supported this woman with her child, she had been around my children and I was a GOOD friend to her. Hard lesson learnt.
After I started losing weight, she said I lost water weight. Even though the photos showed progress.When I said I landed a new deal for my upcoming magazine, she said she didn’t want to talk about that.I was like, wtf?I ignore her like the bad seed that is, and the friends that she hangs out with now bad mouth her a lot. I say nothing. Not my business
When I told her I got into nursing school all excitedly and she said with a stone face “so?”
When she was my maid of honor but i’m not even one of her bridesmaids
Finally, Amanda added, “While it sucks to learn that someone you thought was a friend actually isn’t, it’s also a blessing in disguise. I am a person of faith, so I believe these hurtful experiences will be used for your good in other ways. That could be to help you identify friendship red flags sooner, give you wisdom when forming new friendships, or teach you to become a better friend to someone else. Appreciate the good that the friendship brought into your life, and don’t dwell on the loss, learn from it.”
I had a friend who moved to another state. I kept 2 of her kids for 6 weeks so they could finish their school year. She’d come in town on weekends and clean their rooms / bathroom restock their snacks etc. One weekend she went to a concert with another one of her friends - didn’t tell me or ask if I wanted to go and left the boys at home with me. Keep in mind they lived with me for free. I never got kicked down a few hundred bucks or anything.Her reason for not inviting me she didn’t know if I liked the artist 😒. I forgave her because grace…She has been back to the city multiple times and I only found out she was here via FB. She always told me people are sty and that I don’t need a lot of friends what she was saying was she was sty and she wasn’t my friends but if my dumb a*s was going to help her then oh well 😒 She called me Sister as well…go figure lol
When my car broke down outside her work and she chose to go to the bar instead of giving me a ride home
When she took sides with my a***ive ex.
When I got engaged and instead of saying congratulations she asked how? You’re so mean how did someone propose to you she asked. I’ve known her since 14 yrs old.
Last minute invites. Never supported my business. Never went to my Mom’s funeral…secretly dated my then boyfriend….list is lengthy
When I came down with a bad virus with a fever and endless diarrhea so I couldn’t attend her gender reveal party. She blamed me for not being there for her… and honestly any doctor would have said for me to stay away because it is a mortal sin to purposely bring an illness like that around a pregnant lady! Not sure she has forgiven me yet. And I had to cry over being sick AND losing a friend for it.
They kept planning things without me & purposely leaving me out of things
When the subtle subliminal remarks started slipping into conversations, laced with just enough truth from my past to cut deep. When the energy shifted from support to silent competition, and the jealousy started seeping through in backhanded compliments. When the distance wasn’t just physical but emotional, like she couldn’t stand to see me evolve beyond the version of me she was once comfortable with. That’s when I knew.
When she defended my stalker and then completely ghosted me when I brought it to her attention.
When I was crying in her car and she didn’t even bother to ask what was wrong
When they made ME the “problem” a week after having a traumatic miscarriage.
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We always said we would be each others maid of honor when we got married some day. The topic got brought up and she told me I wouldn’t be hers because I’m number 4 out of 5 on her “best friends list”. ✌
When she asked me to “think of her happiness” after I caught her messing around with the guy I was in a relationship with. It was 20yrs ago but ill never forget the audacity.
I got married, then I got pregnant, she started acting weird then stopped talking to me, then blocked me. Still don’t know till today what I actually did.
When she told me my husband owed her an apology for checks notes arguing with me. Then told me neither of us were invited to her wedding (she wasn’t even engaged). Also, failed to reach out when I was diagnosed with cancer. Bye Felicia.
After the wedding she disappeared. I was pregnant that time, no show up, she ignored my texts, left me on read, no visit no nothing. She watches my stories until today. She just removed herself from my life without saying anything. That’s gross behavior sorry and shows off jealousy
When she lied about a “group” event we were going to, drove us out to the middle of fucking nowhere small town Oklahoma and left me alone to deal with an ex military, just-got-out-of-jail-for-DV POS man who was aggressively bitter and mad that I was married, just because SHE wanted to hook up with his hot roommate. It ended up being one of the scariest nights of my life and when I told her how upset I was the next day , she told me to calm down because “Southern boys are just like that”
When they went off at me on several occasions, throwing things, slamming things, and thought that behaviour was normal, and never took accountability for it or even acknowledged it without me initiating any conversation. You can’t actually care about people and treat them like that at the same time, that behaviour is antithetical to care.
When they found extreme discomfort with my joy/ good things happening in my life
When I realized none of my friends ever supported my music dreams. They only supported me in making stupid decisions. Now I’m 35 and I have no friends.
We had already been out of contact for several years but she heard through the grapevine that I left my ex. She’s the one that originally got me interested in him. I told her how bad things got and she said “I am sooo sorry.” But I could literally hear the smile in her voice. This was after years and years of me stupidly forgiving her for all kinds of various shenanigans. But that was it. I finally got it.
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I don’t think she hated me but I realized she wasn’t my friend after multiple times of her changing the subject or flat out ignoring when I expressed emotional distress about a situation while simultaneously calling me post haste EVERY time she was in an emotionally distressing situation looking for support. It took years though because I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I got the job that she wants, not based on her applying for it but based on her interests, and she insulted me and the project. Then, when I confronted her about it to set boundaries in our relationship, instead of respectfully and maturely discussing the matter she stonewalled me. I ended the relationship then.
She would never compliment me when I accomplished something. On social media she would watch but not like anything. Then randomly would “block me”, then reappear and watch my stories!She’s a therapist!😳🥴like Girl….
They told me I do voodoo because I’m successful
When I realized he constantly says two things:1. I hate hipsters.2. You’re a hipster.
When I realized she saw “struggling me” as a project to fix and take credit for, and wasn’t truly interested in an adult friendship with “healthy, grounded me.”
When she travelled to Australia for over 3 years and never bothered to contact me not even one single timeThen when she returned, she sent me a long facebook message that I immediately deleted without reading it.I just don’t care no more, this 16 year old friendship died 3 years ago
When she always brought up the fact that she could’ve had my man if she wanted to 😵💫🥴
When she told me I should be nicer to people. [Won’t list her issues but I will say that I was her taxi service and if Ineeded to leave but she didn’t want to, she’d throw a fit and call me the bad guy.] I said, “You know what? I’ll get right on that.” Left. Haven’t talked to her since, and that was 1995. My life shifted in a very positive way when I realized I had that choice and control over who I call “friend”. Realizing she wasn’t one, helped me see the true ones. So she did give me that.
When they didn’t come to my MIL’s funeral, who’s home they had stayed in because they GREW UP WITH MY HUSBAND and knew her long before I did. This woman literally fed you and you don’t show up to send her off?
When I told her (who was married) that I had a crush on her friend & she pretended she was going to try to hook us up…then ditched her wife & spent the rest of the night out heavily flirting w/ the friend and wrestling & cuddling with them in front of my face. 🫠
When they couldn’t show up to my birthday because they had to clean their room for their mental health 🤣🤣🤣 idc idc idc and then was at 3 birthdays the next weekend
When they told me off because “it was always something with me” and “I was crying all the time the last time we saw each other”. For context: the last time we saw each other was at my mom’s funeral.
She took the person who SA me to a New Years party with people I frequently see, most of them don’t know what happened. Keep in mind he currently doesn’t live in the same country as us, and I was entirely sure he had no way to access my life. I found out because she published pictures with him on insta. When I called her out, she said she didn’t remember I told her about the abuse. To top the cake she told everyone that I, suddenly and with no reason, blocked her and refused to talk to her.
I found out their family & friends I had never met didn’t like me, and the only social media they had me on was Snapchat, so they couldn’t see he talked to me.Told me to never buy a new car because it’s not worth it, only to pop out with a new 2025 Bronco right after I got my used car. (They didn’t want me having a new car before them) and bragged about how their car is so nice and brand new, and said they test drove one like mine and hated it.
I finally started seeing who she REALLY was and I couldn’t un-see how rude and narcissistic she was to everyone and how she always blamed others for HER mistakes or problems. Zero accountability.
When she waited 20+ years to tell me she couldn’t be friends with a Pagan now that she “found jesus” 🙄
Constantly doing everything I wanted to do. Copying me.
She got drunk at my wedding on purpose because she was mad she wasn’t getting married first, then told everyone it was because of her meds. She punched a groomsman and also attempted to throw a mirror at a bridesmaid.
When I was about to graduate college and move to a new city. I said, “I cannot wait to graduate and move.” She said, “You don’t have to keep saying that!” It took about 2 months, but we were no longer friends after. Had been friends since 12 years old, we had been friends for 15 years. After being able to look back on our “friendship” I realized… she never liked me.
When she found out I made more money than she did even though I never graduated from high school. I left my senior year because I had my son. She had a college degree and was doing basically customer service. I was a cook from my 20’s to mid 30’s. She pissed me off so I told her, “Your job is to look pretty and enter info in a computer. My job requires a lot of skills and I’m damn good, that’s why I get paid more.”
We were all playing a drinking game and the card read “take a shot if you got cheated on this year” I took my shot. Everyone around me was like “awww Jai really?” And before I could tell them it’s all good, this loser was giggling.
When my mom had a massive heart attack and they never reached out…then proceeded to shit talk about me for months on social media. 🫤
when they ( 2 female friends ) said I needed to have kids because I “ go out too much “ I don’t go to clubs , I just go out of town every other weekend .
When we went to college (met in 5th grade) and she tried to DEMAND i give her ALL my attention at her whim and treated every friendship i made like an attack on our own
When I realized she was jealous of me— she liked me better when life was hard on me, but she ghosted me when I was on an upswing. The final straw was when we’d planned a weekend getaway for my birthday, but when the day came, she didn’t so much as text me happy birthday, much less show up. Two months later, I still hadn’t heard from her, yet she was happily posting on social media.
She invited her other friends to pick out her wedding dress and brunches. I found out on her story. There were many signs but this one hurt alot.
When I realized she would rather completely cut me off than apologize for anything she’d done wrong to me, ever
She told me she was shocked that I had so many Instagram followers because she has friends who are “actual models” that have way less (I’m not even trying to model lol)
Friend group I was a part of would had a gc I wasnt even in. Never asked me to go with them. When I talk they would talk over me or not even pay attention to what I was saying. I felt so sad cause whyyy
When I left my job managing a Pilates studio to open one and she took a 2 day certification and applied for my old job and solicited my clients. She was dying of cancer btw. But she was going to beat me one last time.
When I was 24 and she made the comment see now look you fat and now I’m skinny. I can get any man I want now. I politely told her I pull men whether I’m fat or skinny cause the face gets them everytime. It let me know that she felt a way about me in our teenage years because of our size differences.
When she misunderstood a situation. In thinking I was attacking her — she proceeded to drag my name on social media and label me as a failure and a monster . 7 years down the drain that instantly — I didn’t even want to clear my name w HER . She can kindly stand on what she thinks about me , you’d think 7 years of close friendship would be something these days
When I had a psychotic break and she stopped talking to me that night
It was a culmination of things: f**king a friend at my birthday party when everything was supposed to be platonic; lying about it after I literally walked in on them (he was honest, so I forgave him); lying about going on to date him and thinking I was too stupid to understand that she was lying about it.Ultimately, it came down to her being rude over Facebook to another one of my friends she met as the same birthday party, and she admitted to me that she used the same excuse on him that she always uses with me when she is trying to escape a conversation with me. Like…🤨 Heaux, are you for real? 🤣If you didn’t want to ever talk to me again, why TF didn’t you just say so?💀 Blocked and moved TF on with my life, apologized sincerely to my friend for what this coward did to hurt him.
When she started hating attention that other people gave me, her family started hating as well as if they knew me and she had been talking behind my back!!… i blocked her with no explanation!!! This was a 10 year friendship!! I tend to have a hard time making and keeping friendships male or females at this point!! They be hating!! Sadly and im probably the most loyal friend i know!!
When they demonized me in the friend groups they invited me into literally love bombed me then stabbed me in the back and ostracized me cause I called out their anti-Blackness instead of just taking accountability.🙄This was a a partner/friend it really was nasty workLike even their partner who was also my partner and all these yt people literally did not check on me just believed this person n decided I was the villain when I was the mfing victim. These people will act like dey love u and even say I don’t like the way ur partner is treating u but when it comes down to it they don’t stand on nothing n really loathe u n love to project insecurities. What, cause you’re not as oppressed as me? Yt n yt passing ppl get it togetha or don’t but damn tht shit hurtedI’m glad they showed their true selves though and I’m proud of myself for saying what needed to be said I wish I had gotten to say more cause I was too understanding n held space for bs. I won’t abandon myself like that again and I suggest yall don’t either. People who really love ya won’t avoid accountability n will do the work
When I told him I didn’t have time for video games like I used because of my full time job and law school, yet he bought me (without my asking) a copy of a video game that required 50-100 hours of play time to complete.
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