Psychologicalresearchsuggests that stable and healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity. However, in order to form one, we need to see a person in different situations. Only then will we get a better understanding of their character, values, and how they fit our lives.
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I dated a guy for a year (we’d been good friends some years prior) who was very smart and studied rocket science (I studied material engineering). We wrote a 100 paper together on new rocket models for a research contest and did aprox 50/50 of the work together. He lived in a big city and I lived further away, so I asked him to go hand in the printed copy to the university that organized the contest.Some weeks later, he told me he’d been to the uni to ask about our paper’s status and told me we hadn’t been selected for the contest so I trusted him and we went out on a “compensation dinner”. A few weeks later, I saw that little b***h on the university’s instagram doing a speech on our work. He presented OUR work with only his name and erased my credits. We’d actually been selected and he got a diploma and a prize for our work, and I was only mentioned in the “agreements” page alongside his family for providing “emotional support"Edit to add: he broke up with me and kinda ghosted me a few days before the speechEdit 2 since I thought it was obvious: I’m doing stuff to take him to court if the university doesn’t solve it but it’s a slow processUpdate: GUYS THEY TOOK AWAY HIS DIPLOMA!! :) The bad thing though is that they’re thinking of disqualifying our work as a whole and leave us both with nothing, but I’d rather have nothing than him having an award and not me.
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This happened back in June. I went to Europe with my family for two weeks. A friend of mine told me she’d watch my dogs and cat. I get home and find out that she hadn’t been there in days. They had no water, no food and one of my pups has severe allergies and she hadn’t given her her medications. She had literally eaten herself raw. She was missing tuffs of hair and had sores everywhere.Suffice to say, we’re not friends anymore. Oh! Forgot about the best part. I payed her $400 to take care of them and instead, she spent that money on alcohol, weed, everything but my dogs.I’ve never hated someone so much.
I met a guy in college. We were both dating other people at the time, so we would hang out together instead of going out to parties and getting wasted. He was my safe buddy, always a gentlemen. We stayed friends for 7 years, but were always dating other people. Finally, we were both single at the same time! We talked every day and decided that I would take a week off work and fly cross country to see him. My flight ended up being diverted to DC instead of Philly. He told me to take the train up and he’d pay me back for the train ride. So I’ve now spent $600+ for flight, $120 for a train, and I’m losing about $1000 taking off a week from work. I get to 30th street station…. and he doesn’t pick up his phone…. and he didn’t pick up his phone for 5 days!!! He left me stranded at the train station, even though we had been texting all day! I cried, I panicked, I called a girlfriend from college who was able to pick me up/house me for the week. When I finally reached him, I laid into him. What kind of person does that?! All he said was, “idk what to tell you, people suck, lesson learned.” WTF??!? After 7 years! Guess I didn’t know him after all…. F**k you Sean!!
Turned up at a party. A buddy of mine was there. Body builder. (He was taking steroids at the time) Door security at a rough Liverpool club. Hard bloke that you would not want to get the wrong side of.He was wearing a charming dress, impeccable make up & drinking a cocktail.
Ex wife now, married for 14 years when she acts suspicious. Note: wife paid all our bills because she “was better than me at that stuff”. I know it’s not an affair (no missing time) but can’t figure it out. 3 months later I confront her, she denies acting differently. She won’t let me answer the home phone and we get 5-7 “wrong numbers a night” can’t check the mail because she runs to the curbside box. I take a vacation day from work and she calls in sick so I’m never alone at home.Finally I arrange a vacation day and don’t tell her. I pretended to go to work, she went to work then I came home. Oh BOY! All the “wrong number calls”? Bill collectors for credit cards I didn’t have. Same with the mail. My ex took FIVE credit cards out in my name without my knowledge. Total debt of $60K in my name. My personal bank account was wiped out as was her 401K. Couldn’t jail her because we had an adoptive daughter who was glued to her hip and therapist recommended against separating the two. At bankruptcy I discovered she also had $80k in unpaid student loans. In the end, she took cash advances to pay the lawyer who defended her child rapist son. A crime we both knew he was guilty of and agreed not to pay his bail or lawyer. Yea, he was convicted and our family destroyed. Now I don’t call her my ex but my Y. She’s my Y wife as in why did I marry that trash?
In college, I was close friends (I thought) with a girl for a couple of years. We were supposed to go see Schindler’s List together, but she went with her boyfriend instead. I was hurt, but asked her how it was. She was like, “It was okay, except that it tried to make the Holocaust look like it was a bad thing.” I was like, “?!?!?!?” Turns out not only did she hate Jews, she also thought Black people were inferior to whites. I had no idea!
I’ll post something actually positive since everything else here is really depressing. I was really good friends with this guy in high school. We did every group project together and we hung out a lot after school. We were totally different people on the surface, but we worked together really good as friends. After high school we kind of just drifted apart. He didn’t go to college and I did and we just lost contact after a while. Next time I saw this person she was a woman. We’re back talking again and now we’re friends again. I just had no idea back then that she was trans, not even really sure if she knew. It’s funny because the same thing had happened with my friend who used to be my neighbor. He is a little older than me and his family moved out when I was in middle school. When I was a freshman and he was a senior we were in the same class and when the teacher was doing roll call I heard (man’s name, last name of my old neighbor) “here”. I asked if he was related to my old neighbor (woman’s name, last name). He said “Yeah I remember you and that was me”.
This is a funny “how did I not know this about you” moment.Several years ago, I was flipping around on the television and came across something or other about the band Disturbed. Just like that, out of nowhere, my husband started basically giving me a biography of every member of the band, as though it was all common knowledge.We had been together about ten years at this point, and I had no idea he even liked Disturbed, much less knew so much about them. He’d literally never talked about it before! Surprised the heck out of me!
A religious girl in high school who always wore a modest dress and behaved in a repressed manner went on to be a competitive body builder.
Ex husband decided that if he wasn’t a “husband” any longer, he wasn’t going to be a “father” either. He hasn’t tried to see his kids in 2 years. Hasn’t paid one dime of child support. Never saw it coming. He was my best friend and even through we were separating, I never in a million years would have thought he wouldn’t see his kids anymore.
Close friends with a man for almost 10 years. He wanted more, I didn’t. He is now incarcerated as a serial killer.
During the pandemic I was surprised to learn some of my friends were anti vax, anti mask, anti government fanatics.
Dated the son of my favorite teachers in hs. Everyone absolutely loved them, they were always involved in school events and class trips.One day I noticed these horrible scars on his back. These parents beat the s**t out of him.
My husband rolled over and went back to sleep after I got a call saying my Dad was dead in the hospital. Had to drive myself. Always thought he’d step up when I needed him in the ways I stepped up for him. Turns out ‘I should have asked.’ 🙃.
When my parents divorced, my dad introduced his girlfriend to my sister and me, A DAY LATER.IT obviously meant he was cheating on my mom. I never forgave him for it.
My dad drove my brother’s motorcycle home when my brother learned to drive it the first time. The motor was brand new and he drove it so smoothly that our siblings were shocked. Turns out, he has driven countless motors back then, even the cruiser.He was the classic nerd when he met my mom.
I thought I knew my parents until I had my own kids.Now I feel like they’re just people who were in the house while I was growing up a lot of the time.
I called my husbands best friend pleading for help for his addiction that I thought just started about a year before. This friend lives on the opposite side of the country and grew up with him. I tell him about the situation and he goes “oh s**t he’s into that again”AGAIN?I had no idea. I thought I knew this man through and through. We were best friends for 8 years before we even started dating. We are now divorced. Safe to say I have some trust issues.
My mum. I thought she loved me, I thought she had basic empathy for people. Recently she caused something extremely traumatic to happen to me and my sister to gain back some of the control she lost when my sister decided to date someone out of our culture. And she has no remorse at all. All that matters to her is gaining control.Everyone told me that my mum controls us because she loves and worries for us but it’s clear now she is deeply mentally ill and does not feel empathy for people. Understanding this, I look back at the past 19 years of interactions I’ve had with her. There are many moments she had pretended to be vulnerable, understanding and loving as one of the many tactics she used to gain what she wants and I bought it. She would allow me to trust her and confide in her and later weaponize that information, idk why it took me so long to realize.I don’t know this person. She is a brilliant actress who stops at nothing to get what she wants. I don’t love her anymore and I wouldn’t feel a thing if I was to attend her funeral tomorrow.
My best friend of 8 years told me I was “too much” to deal with because of my mental illness. I had supported her through breakups and her own mental health issues. It was incredibly hurtful and I don’t know that I’ll ever recover from the rejection, almost a year later and it hurts.
I was with my partner for 15 years. We were highschool sweethearts.One day out of nowhere he started this fight with me. A fight big enough to make him suggest to stay at a friends house for a night to cool off. The fight was over me buying a male coworker gummy bears.The night turned into a week.He blocked my phone and I was unable to reach him.He came back in the middle of the night to grab things and told me he wanted to break up.I was so confused and felt blindsided.I ended up finding out he was in a 10 year relationship with a girl he met on like a role play discord server. he was living a double life. When I would go to sleep at night he would be on the phone with her.He flew out to get engaged to her the week he blocked me.The kicker is she was married when they got engaged. this was a year ago. she is still married and my ex is still in a relationship with her.Edited to add:* I did speak to the husband over the phone (he lives in Texas and I’m in Pennsylvania). He asked me to send proof. I sent him texts and screenshots. Six months after I talked to him he caught my ex in his house via cameras in his garage when he was out of town. This was July and he is still living with her and married.*they originally met on gaia online and then their relationship moved to discord.
My best friend from high school playing league of legends with me on a Wednesday night and laughing talking like normal and then the next day getting a call from my other high school friend who is now a cop informing me that they found my best friend in his apartment with his wrist slit and hanging from the ceiling fan.His mom, girlfriend, sister, uncle, myself, our other buddies, his co-workers. We’re either all really s****y people and didn’t pickup on the signs or there were none. I still don’t know wtf.
Bestfriend 15yrs ago, paid for us to move to Colorado together, literally paid for everything, soon as we were settled into a place he tells me he’s always hated me and knew I had resources he could take advantage of. Colorado was his idea, but he sold it so well… Also, we had countless times hanging out, laughs, having each others backs, there was never a reason to question this being my bestfriend. We never fought either. That was a tough one.
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A friend from middle school was killed in a home invasion. He was the burglar.
I had a friend of 18 years overdose. None of us knew he did d***s. He didn’t even smoke cigarettes. It was beyond shocking.
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My ' friend' who I’d lived with, travelled with, and gave support to over many years turned her back on me when my 6yr old daughter died. Didn’t return my calls or attend the funeral. She rang to wish me a happy birthday 6 months later, leaving an answer phone message. I didn’t reply.
When my wife cheated on me. Sounds really stereotypical but she was the last person on earth I would have thought would do something like that.
Minor compared to all of you, but I dated a guy who bragged about how smart and successful he was and made me feel like an idiot for sticking with one job for 5+ years. He said I was too financially conservative and not enough of a risk taker. He talked big about his salary and how important he was.It turns out that he was continually job hopping due to performance issues, bad decisions and boredom.
My former best friend from high school. Her and her skeezy boyfriend turned husband went into my parents room while they were waiting for me to finish up in the shower and stole all of their gold jewelry. I had loved this girl like a sister for years and in return she stole from my f***g parents for dg money. Last I heard her life sounded awful and I struggle with guilt because I don’t feel bad for her one little bit.
A fellow RN who stole out of my purse. Circumstances all pointed to her. I thought we were friends.
My (now ex) partner refused to spend Christmas with me while I was actively miscarrying our second unsuccessful pregnancy. Then sent pictures of him playing with his 1yo nephew. My period still terrifies me.
I tweaked the reporting system for a large payroll system to improve its run time from 8 hrs to only two. Submitted the changes to the head programmer with all my testing results. She took all the credit, used my expertise and told management I had nothing to do with the improvements after I called her out on her BS. Worked along side of her for 5 years prior and thought we were friends.
Someone telling me that they planned on us getting married and having a future together, only for the next week them to break up with me literally out of the blue bc they “woke up without me and realized they enjoyed that more than rolling over and looking at me”.The fact that someone could just change their mind so drastically like that in about a week just blew my mind and broke my heart. It’s been years but that fear of that change happening with my current partner is always lurking in the back of my mind.
I had a buddy that owned a mortgage broker company. His business model was to target friends and family to help them secure or refinance their mortgages. Nearly his entire family (to include extended family) and most of his friends used him. Turns out he was siphoning off the equity in the mortgages he was refinancing. To the tune of pulling in a 40k per month salary. He was caught, thrown in jail for three years but was let out early due to covid.
Youngest brother died out of nowhere. On the surface he was a functioning adult with a good job. Turns out he had been a d**g addict with a lot of debt for years & somehow managed to hold a job & seem fine infront of our family.
In 2014 my partner passed away. I was, of course, completely shattered and was not doing well for a long time after. We were best friends before we started dating and when we finally got together, all of our friends and families said “it’s about time!!” It was a fairytale romance for me. Everyone thought he worshipped the ground I walked on.A week after he passed his affair partner came to me with proof that he’d been cheating the whole time. She gave me a love letter he’d written her.EDIT: Please quit asking me why she did that. I don’t f*****g know, because she’s horrible I guess. Why did she try to retrieve his personal items from the coroner instead of me or his mother? Why did she refuse to let him be buried in his favorite beanie that he wore every day because she wanted it? Why didn’t she take him home when he told her he didn’t want to be at the lake that he ended up drowning in? Why did she tell the paramedics that SHE was his partner?? That was a horrible part of my life and I’ve put her behind me. I couldn’t tell you why she did it and I don’t want to discuss it.
A friend of mine since high school, a dude I really trusted, came to live with me when he was down on his luck. This d******d lived with me for three days before he stole a pistol from me and sold it for [illegal substances]. Now he’s sitting in prison and my gun is tied up in a federal case.
Almost every moment since my Ex-husband announced he was cheating on me and wanted a divorce has been an “I really thought I knew this person.” moment.If I hadn’t watched him go from what he was to what he is now over the last year, I wouldn’t have believed it. His partner has changed him from what he’s comfortable with to something he’s so uncomfortable with (at least from my observations) that it’s unreal because that’s what his partner wants.Ex says he wants to be friends and I feel like I HAVE tried to be his friend, but I recently told him I don’t think I can be his friend as long as he’s with his current partner, who I don’t really care for because of the way they’ve treated Ex and used him as a cash cow.
Found out my ex girlfriend was a dirty, piece of s**t, petty thief. I caught her stealing cosmetics from the grocery store. She was 28, had a bachelors degree and a good paying salary job. This opened a flood gate. She was a remorseless liar who loved manipulating and abusing people.
When i got fired from a job where i thought i’d make my career. they accused me of falsifying my hours/scamming our clients (which i never did, but our instructions for logging hours included “count any time you spend even thinking about a project in your billables” so it was a clusterfuck anyway) and “taking unauthorized initiatives to collect employee opinions”…. as the HR deputy lol. i thought my bosses cared about me as a person. they knew my wife and kids. they fired me three days before my wife’s birthday when i thought i was going into a meeting to take over responsibilities for my boss who was going on leave for a month. it’s rocked me to my core that people i respected could treat me like that out of nowhere.
I found out one of my long-time closest friends (16ish yrs) was talking bad about me behind my bad for the majority of our “friendship.” Dropped her like a bag of rocks. She is dead to me now. She was straight up making up lies and telling it to others as truth. I had suspected for a while that she had a truth telling problem, but the more I find out, the more i recognize she is pathological.
My high school sweetheart. We were very on and off for most of our 20s. The man wouldn’t commit to me and I stupidly stuck around. We basically were in a situationship, so asked him to please tell me if he ever met someone else and started to see them. Because I couldn’t bear the humiliation of being the last to know. It was basically me saying, “If you meet someone, fine. But tell me so that I can walk away immediately.“Guess what. He met someone else and snuck around with her for two months before I found out from one of his friends. Objectively I am sure anyone would say duh, of course he did. But knowing him, I was shocked. I really didn’t think he was a liar like that. Still hurt but showed me his true colors finally.
This one isn’t too bad but it was surprising to me.Guy I worked with (different department but sat in an adjacent office) and I would shoot the s**t at work frequently. We’re from the same state, same sports loyalties, had a lot in common, made each other laugh, etc. Normal, personable guy.Found out he’d posted for a new position with the company in a different location. I was bummed he was leaving but happy for him and his family, it was a nice promotion. So I asked him about the job and his general future career plans and it was like a switch flipped and I was talking to Patrick Bateman. He was OBSESSED with getting up that ladder and kept talking about the higher-ups’ perception of him and how he needed the PERFECT position so that he could appear to be an exec-quality manager. It was weird.
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