When I was in thesecond grade, my teacher often had us pass our papers to the student sitting next to us when it was time to grade them. Then, we would go around the room and read the answers written on each other’s papers, so theteachercould confirm whether or not they were correct.Well, I vividly remember that, one day, theclassmatenext to me read my answersincorrectly. This thenled to my teacher explaining in front of the whole class that “it’s actuallysheep, Adelaide, notsheeps.” I was furious because I knew for a fact that is what I wrote, but the damage had been done. And I willnever forgetthat moment.Apparently, I’m not the only one holding onto a grudge decades later, though. Redditors have recently beenrecallingpetty moments that they’ll never let go, so we’ve gathered their juiciest stories below. And keep reading to find a conversation with Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner atTherapy With Olivia.This post may includeaffiliate links.
When I was in thesecond grade, my teacher often had us pass our papers to the student sitting next to us when it was time to grade them. Then, we would go around the room and read the answers written on each other’s papers, so theteachercould confirm whether or not they were correct.
Well, I vividly remember that, one day, theclassmatenext to me read my answersincorrectly. This thenled to my teacher explaining in front of the whole class that “it’s actuallysheep, Adelaide, notsheeps.” I was furious because I knew for a fact that is what I wrote, but the damage had been done. And I willnever forgetthat moment.
Apparently, I’m not the only one holding onto a grudge decades later, though. Redditors have recently beenrecallingpetty moments that they’ll never let go, so we’ve gathered their juiciest stories below. And keep reading to find a conversation with Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner atTherapy With Olivia.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
When my parents got divorced, neither of them wanted to keep our family dog that we had for 7 years at that point. (I should clarify, there was nothing wrong with her. She was a black lab mix, healthy, was as sweet as can be). I was 14, just going into high school, and I was begging my family to keep her. My sister and her husband wouldn’t even take her. We ended up having to give her away, and I sobbed for the entire day. Shortly after, my sister and her husband got a cocker spaniel instead, after telling me they didn’t want my dog because ,”well we don’t want any dogs in the house.”I honestly should be over it now, 10 years later. She went to a good home. But I’m not. 🤷♀️.
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In 5th grade our teacher only gave homework on Wednesdays. One Wednesday the end-of-school bell was going to ring soon and we all realized the teacher had forgotten. With maybe 30 seconds left before the bell would free us, a twatty suck-up girl named Sabina raised her hand and reminded the teacher it was homework day. I’m still pissed off about it. F**k you, Sabina for denying us our small victory. I’m 68-years old, btw, and it still chaps my a*s.
To learn more about the grudges that people manage to cling onto for years, we reached out to Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner atTherapy With Olivia. She was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand discuss how healthy it is to hold onto anger like this.“When we’re talking about grudges, I think it can be good to start with what a grudge actually is and how serious of a grudge you are holding onto,” Olivia shared. “For example, the first comment I saw from this post was about a friend eating both hashbrowns while going to ski hungover. In a situation like this, how serious is that grudge really? Are they still friends and hang out? Is it something that comes up in good humor?”
To learn more about the grudges that people manage to cling onto for years, we reached out to Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner atTherapy With Olivia. She was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand discuss how healthy it is to hold onto anger like this.
“When we’re talking about grudges, I think it can be good to start with what a grudge actually is and how serious of a grudge you are holding onto,” Olivia shared. “For example, the first comment I saw from this post was about a friend eating both hashbrowns while going to ski hungover. In a situation like this, how serious is that grudge really? Are they still friends and hang out? Is it something that comes up in good humor?”
During the pandemic I used to collect clothes and goods for the trash men where i used to life. I would leave them in the street anonymously and classified for them to take like clothes, toys, food, etc. would always try to make it every two weeks or so.One day i was walking my dog (he is big but super gentle and chill) and one of them just looked at my dog and asked me if he was a good boy and i said yes thinking he was going to pet him or something, he proceeded to try and slap and kick him and laughed. Obviously i blocked him from getting to my dog and started screaming at him, the other guys just laughed. My dog was crying and my neighbours saw all of this and told them off.Three weeks passed and they started asking around the block about the things someone used to leave for them to collect since they would be much help for them and they haven’t seen anything for them in a while. I was just walking out of my building and over heard them asking my concierge, so i said “It was me, i collected that for you guys, it stopped the second you tried to assault my dog and thought it was funny”, they looked like their eyes where about to leave their socket. They apologised, i said nothing so they went with “look, it’s just an animal we have kids we need those things” so i said “It took me about a week to collect and clean things for you guys each time i left them there, i did it anonymously because i was always taught that charity with a name it’s called vanity. You should always be respectful and treat people well not only when is convenient to you also don’t ever feel entitled to people’s kindness.” Turns out i was the only one who did this in the whole county we where in. My neighbours all saw what happened so they refused to give them anything as well.I never collected anything for them ever again.
The year was 2004. I had a kyocera phantom phone with a long standing game of tetris because the speed had capped out. We’re talking somewhere around two years. I had a score in the bazillions (probably). While out to lunch, a friend picked up my phone and started a new game. Later she f****d my husband. I’m still mad about the tetris game.
Cracker Jack removed the cool toy and replaced it with some s****y piece of paper.
“If it’s a good humor ‘grudge’ that all parties are aware of, are a part of, and agree are funny/silly, then a grudge can, in theory, benefit those relationships,” the therapist explained. “It can show that you and your friends are on the same page, share similar senses of humor, and can make light of potentially difficult situations. However, when this is not the case (and most times it’s not), grudges usually end up being more harmful and have little to no benefits in the long run.”
On my third birthday, I was gifted a tricycle. My then-8-year-old cousin rode it before I could and broke it before I even got a turn. I refused to acknowledge his name for like 5+ years after that. I would ONLY call him “the guy that broke my tricycle”.
My best friend and I were going skiing post a night out. Hungover we decided to get McDonald’s breakfast. Both got a combo and he ordered an extra hashbrown as well. The bag only came with 2 hash browns. He ate both and said they forgot mine. NO MAX THEY FORGOT YOUR EXTRA HASHBROWN. ITS BEEN 7 YEARS AND I STILL GET MAD ABOUT IT.
Look this didn’t even happen to me but my mom told me about a thanksgiving where her aunt took the crispy skin off the turkey and threw it in the trash because it’s not healthy for you. I already didn’t like this aunt but now 😤.
“A grudge can offer some beneficial ideas to us, such as signaling when we’ve been wrong, why that’s happened; maybe a grudge even helps you reflect on your relationships and whether or not they’re healthy for you to be in,” Olivia noted. “It can also give us a sense of identity, a sense of purpose – someone wronged you, you know they were wrong, you are rightfully angry, therefore you are just in your feelings and gives you purpose.“But holding onto a grudge isn’t always productive. “It’s when the grudges go on for a prolonged period of time, where you are the only one feeling the sense of ‘wronged’ or anger that you lose the healthy parts and begin to, essentially, torment yourself while the other person continues on blissfully unaware of your feelings,” Olivia explained. “Any emotion up to a certain point is healthy and beneficial to you, but when you do not act on the emotion and only allow it to consume you, you miss the point of the emotion altogether.”
“A grudge can offer some beneficial ideas to us, such as signaling when we’ve been wrong, why that’s happened; maybe a grudge even helps you reflect on your relationships and whether or not they’re healthy for you to be in,” Olivia noted. “It can also give us a sense of identity, a sense of purpose – someone wronged you, you know they were wrong, you are rightfully angry, therefore you are just in your feelings and gives you purpose.”
But holding onto a grudge isn’t always productive. “It’s when the grudges go on for a prolonged period of time, where you are the only one feeling the sense of ‘wronged’ or anger that you lose the healthy parts and begin to, essentially, torment yourself while the other person continues on blissfully unaware of your feelings,” Olivia explained. “Any emotion up to a certain point is healthy and beneficial to you, but when you do not act on the emotion and only allow it to consume you, you miss the point of the emotion altogether.”
High school - Sophomore year:My Literature teacher has us make comics based on ancient Greek poems. My group got Iliad. We put a lot of research and effort in the assignment, only to lose points because the teacher was expecting to see the Trojan Horse (which does not appear in Iliad, but in Odyssey and Aeneid).Sure, I took the synopsis out of Wikipedia, but it was properly sourced. I even did check the original poem to see if the horse is there - nothing.Turns out my teacher was basing his view on Iliad on a stupid novelization that included the goddamn horse.Oh, and this very same teacher is one to fall hook, line & sinker into whatever b**t people, and still has no qualms about question Wikipedia.Fk you, José. Fk you very very much.
I went to Florida in 5th grade and got a deck of playing cards from delta. I brought them to school to show my friends and they disappeared from my desk at lunch. I looked evrywhere, asked all my friends, etc. Two weeks later the teacher is playing a math probability game and she hands out playing cards to everyone. wouldn’t you know it she had my delta playing cards. I was salty then and still am. I still remember your a filthy thief mrs. Smith.It was 40 years ago.
My mom grew up in Germany. Speaks fluent German. She would speak German with her parents when we were little kids just so we wouldn’t understand. She refused to teach my brother and I how to speak it. Her excuse was we didn’t want to learn. As babies. You know. When you start speaking to your kids. It’s been over 40 years now and I’m still bitter about it. Because German is so damn hard to learn as an adult. Edited to add - maybe not petty per se. But something I’m mad about all these years later.
“Any negative emotion that is held onto for an extended period of time can be harmful, and holding onto a grudge is no different,” Olivia shared. “When we hold onto a grudge for a prolonged period of time and make it part of our identity, we create a wall around ourselves from the kindness of others, especially the person (or people) who wronged you.”
I was in the single board game shop in my town with my friends and one of my friends leaned on a shelf and broke it. I caught the shelf saving the majority of items on it and everyone, including the guy that broke it, said I had knocked the shelf over. Three expensive hardcover DND books were slightly damaged (I’m talking the corner was a little bit bent) and the store made ME pay for them. They were like $60 each. I’m still holding a grudge 6 years later.
My sister lied to my parents saying I ate the last two cookies and I got in trouble for “lying” to them. This happened when I was 7…..I’m 28 now…and I still tell her and my parents every chance I get that I’m still mad about that. 😂😂.
5 years ago I went to the local butcher’s shop for ground beef. The sign said $8.99 lb, which seemed a bit high. I asked the person behind the counter how much their ground beef was. Their reply “read the sign”. I said “ I see the sign, but $8.99 for a pound of ground beef seems a bit steep. I just wanted to make sure that was the actual price. They replied again, “read the sign.” I’ve never stepped foot in that butcher shop again and have been driving an extra 25 min to a different butcher shop ever since.
“Basically, the longer you hold onto a grudge, the angrier you will become, the less trusting of others you may feel, and all of that can create a perfect storm for loneliness and isolation,” Olivia warns.
My mom’s fully fluent in Spanish and stopped teaching me because my dad kept bugging her about how I didn’t need it. In all honesty I think it was him just trying to be petty and didn’t want his ex wife AND daughter being bilingual while he wasn’t
My wife when she was 18 (20+ years ago) had met a band at a concert and had asked them for a picture and a hug. And the lead singer responded"We only hug pretty girls sorry”.He has been on my “on sight” list ever since I heard about it a decade ago. Especially since when she saw them, they were barely on anyone’s radar and now they’re pretty common knowledge.Edit: Apparently the common question is who so…Theory Of A Deadman. I’m sure he’s matured alot, but I’m not dropping the grudge.Edit 2: well that’s a lot of support! Thanks guys.
Back in the mid sixties, I somehow wound up at a school where I was the only POC. We were playing softball. I was just learning how to play,and was about nine years old.There was a play at second base that was being disputed, whether the runner was safe or out. Of course, the guys on my team were saying out, the runner and the guys on the other team were saying he was safe.So I quietly said that I thought he was out. Then a guy that was on my team said, " Nobody cares what you think. And nobody wants you here.“That was close to sixty years ago. I still remember that kid’s name and can still hear him saying that .
When it comes to letting go of a grudge, Olivia says the first step is validating your emotions and understanding the why. “First and foremost, you are allowed to feel however you feel. You are allowed to be hurt and angry when someone does something to cause you pain,” she noted. “Try your best to validate your emotions and allow them space to come up and out, then start asking yourself why. Why are you feeling so wronged? What did this other person do to cause this much pain? Why is that so hurtful for you?”
Everytime around Christmas and someone mentions The Polar Express, I get reminded of the time a boy copied my art work in 2nd grade. We were to draw our favorite scene from Polar Express in art class, and the teacher was giving a present to the one she thought was best. He won, and I got a “talking too” about copying other people’s work, even though he copied me!!
My brothers got to sit in my barbie blow up chair before me as a kid, and then it popped almost immediately. Still hurts. .
“Once you understand your response, you can shift the focus on letting go or even forgiving the person (but consider what forgiveness means for you),” Olivia continued. “If you’re not able to have a conversation with them, this can look like writing a closure letter addressed to them that’s just for your emotional release; or if you can talk to the person, maybe you have an open and honest conversation about what happened and how it made you feel.”
My brother always beat me at everything. Our parents got us Super Nintendo and I beat Mario before he did. Oh my god, he lost his s**t. My Dad could not stop laughing and when my brother would get a big head about games, my dad would remind him of the meltdown on New Years Day.
When I was a kid and my cousin’s son was a toddler, he got into my Ninja Turtles action figures and chewed on their weapons.It’s been at least 30 years. He lives in another country so I’ve only seen him once since. I will always remember him as the little bastard who ruined my Ninja Turtles.
“If you’re having a conversation with the person, be sure to keep with the ‘I’ statements [When you did/said x, I felt y] as it keeps the focus on you and helps prevent as much defensiveness as possible from the other person,” the therapist suggests. “Depending on how the conversation goes, and assuming you want to let go of this grudge and move forward with the relationship, consider replacing the grudge with a boundary.““If the grudge is related to a comment someone made about your appearance, the boundary can be that you do not need to hear their opinions on your appearance; if the grudge is related to how an ex treated you, move forward with a boundary that protects you from that happening again (i.e. hiding messages from someone, maybe your new boundary is open and honest communication with a new partner),” Olivia explained.
“If you’re having a conversation with the person, be sure to keep with the ‘I’ statements [When you did/said x, I felt y] as it keeps the focus on you and helps prevent as much defensiveness as possible from the other person,” the therapist suggests. “Depending on how the conversation goes, and assuming you want to let go of this grudge and move forward with the relationship, consider replacing the grudge with a boundary.”
“If the grudge is related to a comment someone made about your appearance, the boundary can be that you do not need to hear their opinions on your appearance; if the grudge is related to how an ex treated you, move forward with a boundary that protects you from that happening again (i.e. hiding messages from someone, maybe your new boundary is open and honest communication with a new partner),” Olivia explained.
Okay so 9-11 grade I had one Latin teacher. I started off with a C freshman year (in a class w mostly sophomores) and worked up to be the one everyone called to double check their translations. Senior year we got a new teacher. I was in a 3 person class of the people who’d stuck it out since we were freshmen in the sophomore class, and the new Latin teacher awarded the annual Latin seat to a senior a level below me. I AM TOTALLY FINE ITS BEEN 18 YEARS IM FINE.
My SIL got married and had sooooo much sushi leftover from the party. I told her “I can’t wait to munch on some sushi later!”. The husband threw it away. ALL OF IT. I am thinking of getting a sushi tattooed with the date under because of that.
Finally, the therapist noted that a grudge isn’t necessarily an immediate negative thing. “What matters most is how you respond to it and move forward from it,” Olivia says. “Forgiveness for the wrong does not mean condoning or approving what happened to you, forgiveness is about you and letting go for your own wellbeing.”
15 years ago I had a pair of Sony headphones die. The Sony store wouldn’t give me any warranty because I bought them from a Sony store in another country. They quoted me almost the same cost of a new pair to repair them. Haven’t bought anything Sony since.
I’m still pissed they took honey mustard off the sauce menu at McDonald’s in Canada about 9 years ago.
Not me but my brother. He still blames me for deleting his saved game on Secret of Mana.This is b******t, I did not delete it. I did not.
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We had no air conditioning when I was growing up. Sleeping was pretty much impossible. My sister, brother, dad, mom, and I all “camped out” in the living room during the summer nights because the rooms upstairs were over 100 degrees F. Mom got the couch and the others got comfy chairs, and I got the floor. Ok, no problem. But mom would take the only K-Mart box fan out of the window, and set it at the end of the couch so it blew directly on her, alone. Ok, it sucked because it was hard to breathe when we had absolutely still air with humidity you could practically see. Still, she’s the mom, I get it. But I had an ace up my sleeve. I had hidden the last bottle of RC Cola in the fridge, so well that everybody thought we were out of it. And then, the moment came when I pictured that cold, green 16 oz bottle of that tasty RC Cola, at 3:00 AM, and I snuck out to the kitchen. And there was mom, smoking a cigarette, and enjoying the last few swallows of my drink. That was 57 years ago, and mom passed away 23 years ago, but I still want my RC.
I still remember the insult from 5th grade when one of the girls in my class said that my stutter reminded her of an annoying version of woody the woodpecker.
My mom grew up in Germany. Speaks fluent German. She would speak German with her… sister and friends. I feel your pain! She didn’t teach my brother, me, or my kids German because we were “American babies and it would be weird speaking German out loud to us when no one else around would understand.” US! WE WOULD UNDERSTAND! EVENTUALLY! I begged her to teach my kids German. NopeNow she’s all remorseful because when she passes none of us will be able to call and check in on her sister (who refused to learn English) who will be all alone.
In my senior year, the Regina George of my school got a guy (who was admittedly troubled but well liked) kicked out of school under controversial circumstances and admittedly pettiness. The school acted as saying his name was like saying fg Voldemort. Then when someone brought up his (in his eyes) unfair treatment and nepotism of the school in front of her, her family, and the principal, they get detention for a week. She brings it up in her valedictorian speech and gets off scott free while doing some crocodile tears.FK.THAT.BH.
A boy who broke up with me in the 5th grade because I was too flat chested. BTW - I’m 70.
A group of my friends decided to go to our college team bowl game in the 1990’s. I bought the tickets. They canceled and didn’t pay me. Fast forward 25 years… I commented on it and she denied it. I went upstairs and showed her the tickets that for some reason I kept. She was mortified. Anyway, that night her boyfriend convinced me to buy Apple stock. We are good, no grudge. Lifetime friends.
I discovered McDonalds did pretty much the same thing in the Happy Meals. I was having a cr*ppy day at school one day and decided I would get a Happy Meal, then give the toy to one of my Life Skills students. When we discovered a garbage piece of cardboard you stick on a plastic stand, my nonverbal student looked at me and unmistakably said “wtf” with her whole face.
It really makes me so mad. My great aunt passed a few years ago at 104 and I got to go through a wooden box of hers full of letters she sent back to Austria (where my family is originally from) looking for family members and all are written in German/Austrian German. And I can only recognize one word here and there because of Duolingo. Yay. They’re pretty amazing letters and I’ll get them translated someday.I also remembered when I was a teen, my mom had found a hairdresser who was German and they would speak it when she was getting her hair done. She said it was so she could keep up the language. Like. Helloooo. All you needed to do was speak it to my brother and I and we could have always conversed in it. My mom came up with so many excuses as to why to not teach us. I could have been fluent, taught my kids. Being bilingual is amazing. Doesn’t matter what language really.
When my sister and I were like 7-8 years old, we shared a room. We got into an argument one night and she pulled a rock from underneath her pillow and threw it directly at my face from 4ft away. I had a black eye forever. I’m still salty about it, even though a couple days later I sharpened a pencil, and stabbed her head, not that hard, but enough that we had to pop the lead out of her scalp like it was a pimple. Sibling relationships are bonkers hahaha.
My sister ate my frozen peach juice while I was at mass, in 1970. Still pissed!
My brother claimed my scooter and he knows it. When we opened them on Christmas back in 96 or so mine and red wheels and his had green. But as soon as the green one broke he claimed his was the red one. M**********r.
When my dad would go out to a doctors appt, he’d come back with mcdonalds for him, my mom, and my son, but wouldn’t get s**t for me. at that point it was only a dollar or two but the complete lack of respect still pisses me off.
One of my little cousins once took a bite out of the book I had brought to a family gathering and I refused to finish reading it out of spite… And now I never will know how Meerkat Madness ended…
My grandma did not buy me the P300 fashion glasses i was asking her to, while buying my sister P2000 shoes (we were together at the mall) I went home sad, never asked her for anything ever again. that was 12 years ago.
My first D&D dungeon master noticed that I was doing EXP wrong (I thought your total got reset to zero every level) and decided not to correct me because he thought it’d be funny to watch me struggle to make level 3 while everyone else was level 7 or 8. He also had a habit of f*****g with my character the hardest.Twenty-something years later: Dude matured a lot and he’s actually pretty nice now. Occasionally he’ll ask me to join a new campaign he’s starting.I tell him I’ll only do it if I can play a character that starts out at a significantly higher level than the other players- to make up for all the levels that I missed.
My ex friend who stood me up at homecoming 10 years ago. No calls, no texts. She was at an arcade. I left, never even went inside.
I refuse to drink Liquid IV because it’s a stupid f*****g name.
My teenage brother went into a fit and ran away from home because i took a sip (one literal sip) from his red Powerade from the fridge. He threw his phone at me and ran off. I know it was wrong, but I was so worried and it took us 8 hours to find him. We couldn’t report him to the police as a missing person because he was 16 (over 14) at the time and they said he had the will to do so and my parents where worried sick. We found him eventually in downtown Miami squatting with a group of homeless men. He is the pettiest person I know and later confessed he did it all to spite me for drinking a sip from his Powerade because I know no boundaries. He isn’t wrong but he overreacted and til this day he hasn’t forgiven me for the incident. He brings it up every chance he gets four years later. He is now 20 years old.
I used to go out and pick flowers in my grandmother’s garden and one day my grandfather told me I needed to ask her first because sometimes she had plans for the flowers. I could never imagine just allowing my kids to harass someone else’s plants.
I love how many of these are food related.
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