Six years ago, I was 3 days into a study abroad program in England, and I laid eyes on an incredibly beautiful stranger at a party. I was terrified to look him in the eye, let alone strike up a conversation, but after a few hours of nervously wondering if I looked okay, he sat down next to me and said hello. Fast forward to today, and we’re happily living in his home country with our little family of 7 plants and a cat. What is it about meeting someone from another country that’s so romantic?Well, apparently, people often feel smitten about foreign lovers, even if they’ve only met online. One Reddit userinvited peopleto share their experiences of meeting a partner online and moving abroad to be with them, so below, you’ll find some of their most fascinating stories. Unfortunately, they don’t all have happy endings, but enjoy scrolling through and keep reading to find a conversation with expat psychologistGabriela Encina!This post may includeaffiliate links.
Six years ago, I was 3 days into a study abroad program in England, and I laid eyes on an incredibly beautiful stranger at a party. I was terrified to look him in the eye, let alone strike up a conversation, but after a few hours of nervously wondering if I looked okay, he sat down next to me and said hello. Fast forward to today, and we’re happily living in his home country with our little family of 7 plants and a cat. What is it about meeting someone from another country that’s so romantic?
Well, apparently, people often feel smitten about foreign lovers, even if they’ve only met online. One Reddit userinvited peopleto share their experiences of meeting a partner online and moving abroad to be with them, so below, you’ll find some of their most fascinating stories. Unfortunately, they don’t all have happy endings, but enjoy scrolling through and keep reading to find a conversation with expat psychologistGabriela Encina!
This post may includeaffiliate links.
I met my husband online in April 2000. I lived in mid-Michigan, he lived in Ottawa, Ontario. So long distance and international. I traveled a lot from October 2000 to May 2001 - which I then made good use of the 6 month visitor records. We were engaged November 2001 and married April 2002. I received my permanent residency for Canada in May 2004, my citizenship in Feb. 2008.He is my best friend and my soul mate. We have a unique relationship in some ways - we both work from home and are around each other 24/7 (with the exception of a few times a year when I visit my family). I can count the number of disagreements we’ve had in the past 12 years on one hand, we work very hard on maintaining our friendship and our romantic relationship. We have a 6 year old son now as well, so we get to do all that while being parents too.We were “online friends” for only a few months before we met. We had realized that we liked each other etc but international long distance was not for us. I had some home drama and needed to get away for a weekend, so I said fuckit! and started driving. We knew from our first hello in person that we were going to do everything we could to make it work. So far so good :)
I recently became online pen pals with a Nigerian prince. He has said he will marry me and put 1/32 of the royal treasury into my bank account so we’ll be able to live in style. It all sound so romantic!<3
To learn more about the experience of moving abroad for love, we reached out to licensed psychologistGabriela Encina, also known as The Confident Expat. Gabriela was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand discuss whether or not it’s wise to make a huge move for a partner.“Deciding to relocate to another country for love is a personal one. I’ve encountered many clients who faced skepticism from their friends and family about such a move,” Gabriela shared.“Despite the warnings, they followed their hearts, and the outcomes varied. Some found happiness and fulfillment, while others returned home. However, what’s striking is that very few regretted their decision, regardless of how things turned out romantically,” the expert explained. “Cross-cultural relationships can thrive, and I’ve seen hundreds of them succeed. Yet they demand extra effort in communication and a willingness to take ownership of the decision to move abroad.”
To learn more about the experience of moving abroad for love, we reached out to licensed psychologistGabriela Encina, also known as The Confident Expat. Gabriela was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand discuss whether or not it’s wise to make a huge move for a partner.
“Deciding to relocate to another country for love is a personal one. I’ve encountered many clients who faced skepticism from their friends and family about such a move,” Gabriela shared.
“Despite the warnings, they followed their hearts, and the outcomes varied. Some found happiness and fulfillment, while others returned home. However, what’s striking is that very few regretted their decision, regardless of how things turned out romantically,” the expert explained. “Cross-cultural relationships can thrive, and I’ve seen hundreds of them succeed. Yet they demand extra effort in communication and a willingness to take ownership of the decision to move abroad.”
Met a girl online. i was from cali, her from ontario canada. a few trips back and forth for me(it was always me) and finally i got perm residency in 2007. found out she was cheating on me in 2008 and ended that.Now im still here in canada, but i have an amazing fiance and perfect son that i wouldnt trade the world for. So it didnt work out, but then it worked out even better. one door closing leads to another open one, etc…
I met my wife in 2000 while playing Phantasy Star Online on the Dreamcast, (I’m from Venezuela, South America and she’s from Indiana, we were just online friends back then but then I came to USA on a vacation and she met me to hang out and well the feelings were mutual. I was 18 at the time and I was just starting college, we agreed on a long distance relationship until I graduated and then I would come to live with her. I graduated in 2005 came to the states, now I’m 30 years old with two young kids and very happy with her. It was a hard journey both our families were skeptical that this would ever work, friends that discouraged us, we almost broke up once but we endured and we completed our dream to be together. Looking back it’s been amazing all the things we went through even how we moved from text only messaging to voice chat to video chat. How we would spend holidays just talking over the phone promising to one day be able to hug during a holiday. I’m going to get teary eyes now thanks from the memories you made me recall :)
But this isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly. Before taking the leap to move to your partner’s country, Gabriela says it’s crucial to weigh various factors. “Firstly, while love may be a driving force, it shouldn’t be the sole reason for relocation. It’s essential to consider other opportunities the move might offer, such as career advancement, cultural exploration, and language learning,” she noted.“Secondly, building your social network in the new country is vital for long-term stability and personal growth. It is common to inherit your partner’s relationships (family, friends, etc.) and that’s helpful for the beginning, but after a while, you need your network to create and foster a life aside from the relationship,” Gabriela added. “Lastly, don’t neglect your career path; set clear goals and take steps to maintain financial independence in your new environment.”
But this isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly. Before taking the leap to move to your partner’s country, Gabriela says it’s crucial to weigh various factors. “Firstly, while love may be a driving force, it shouldn’t be the sole reason for relocation. It’s essential to consider other opportunities the move might offer, such as career advancement, cultural exploration, and language learning,” she noted.
“Secondly, building your social network in the new country is vital for long-term stability and personal growth. It is common to inherit your partner’s relationships (family, friends, etc.) and that’s helpful for the beginning, but after a while, you need your network to create and foster a life aside from the relationship,” Gabriela added. “Lastly, don’t neglect your career path; set clear goals and take steps to maintain financial independence in your new environment.”
He came from england to the us. We had been friends online for years. We both lost everything. he wasnt sure if he would start over in Australia or America. He chose america. I am so happy that he did. We have been married for a year and a half now.
I met my wife while traveling through the US from South Africa. I went home the day after meetung her. We kept up the long distance thung for 6 months. I then packed up and moved to the States.17 years and 3 kids later, we’re still happily married.
Once the partners are living in the same place, Gabriela says that maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort and understanding from both sides. “For the one who relocates, it’s important to remember that the decision was voluntary, and blaming the partner for any hardships, although a common and understandable reaction, can strain the relationship,” the Confident Expat says.“On the receiving end, patience and support are key. Acknowledge the sacrifices your partner has made, be aware of their needs, include them in your life as much as you can, let them have room to grieve and adapt, and provide them with the emotional anchor they need to adjust to their new life,” Gabriela continued.
Once the partners are living in the same place, Gabriela says that maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort and understanding from both sides. “For the one who relocates, it’s important to remember that the decision was voluntary, and blaming the partner for any hardships, although a common and understandable reaction, can strain the relationship,” the Confident Expat says.
“On the receiving end, patience and support are key. Acknowledge the sacrifices your partner has made, be aware of their needs, include them in your life as much as you can, let them have room to grieve and adapt, and provide them with the emotional anchor they need to adjust to their new life,” Gabriela continued.
I moved from the US to the UK to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, online friend of 8. We flew back and forth to see each other for a while until I got into a university here and moved. Everything was great in the relationship until we moved in together, at least as great as a long distance relationship could be. When we finally got what we’d been waiting for all that time, the relationship fell apart slowly over the year. By the end of my first year here there wasn’t enough left of it for me to be able to continue. I didn’t move back home, I love it here and this is home now, but I wish things would have worked out better between us.
My cousin moved to India (she’s from the U.S to be with a guy she met over the internet) They’re now happily married with two kids.
Met my wife in 1996, I was 16-17 at the time and we hit it off pretty well, this was way before any dating sites, and well before the net and computers became “affordable” and let all the weirdos on. She was 14-15, I was the first person she had ever talked to, we met on this chat service called Powwow.She didn’t actually have a computer, she was at a friends house and playing around online, so we swapped numbers and promised to call each other later.It was in the middle of the night for me as I lived in Germany at the time, so I called her the next morning and we talked on the phone pretty much every night, much to the expense of the phone bill…It wasn’t until 2 years later in 1998 that we actually met in person for the first time, and I had actually never even seen a picture of her until then. I visited with her for almost 2 months during summer break.about 6 months later I moved here for good. I am American so there were no problems getting the right papers. I rented an apartment and a few months later she moved in after graduating high school.We’ve been living together ever since, have been married 7 years and have a 6 year old son to keep us busy, she’s on her way to finishing up her Doctorate studies and I’m self employed in the IT field.And that’s our story.
The expert also shared some advice for anyone who might be contemplating moving abroad for love. “Embrace the opportunity but do so cautiously. While it’s natural to have doubts and fears, don’t let them hold you back from exploring what could be a life-changing experience,” Gabriela says. “However, it’s wise to maintain connections and resources in your home country as a safety net. Take gradual steps towards relocation, allowing yourself the flexibility to reassess if needed.”
I ended up in Nigeria. It sucks here. I hate it and I hate my wife. We have a cool flag though.
Not my story, but my aunt. Back in the days of AOL, she met a guy online who lived in VERY rural Arkansas, who was still married (as was she). She ended up leaving her husband, moving from California (only place she had ever lived), to this teeny Tennessee town to live with him and his wife.She moved back a month later. Guess it didn’t go that well.
Not another country, but I met my husband in an AOL chat room many years ago. I lived in California, he lived in Wisconsin. I went into his chat room with the intention of trolling and ended up falling in love. He came out to California for a year so that my family could see that he wasn’t a 40 year old crazy internet mu**erer who just wanted to eat my face. Then we moved back to Wisconsin. 9 years later we’re still together.
Finally, Gabriela says to surround yourself with positivity and support as you embark on this journey. “Believe in your dreams and prioritize your well-being throughout the process. Remember, this decision should ultimately be about what you want and what will make you happy, rather than solely for the sake of your partner,” she told Bored Panda. “Trust yourself and your instincts as you navigate the complexities of love and relocation.”If you’d like to hear more wise words from Gabriela about this topic or anything else expat related, be sure to visither site!
Finally, Gabriela says to surround yourself with positivity and support as you embark on this journey. “Believe in your dreams and prioritize your well-being throughout the process. Remember, this decision should ultimately be about what you want and what will make you happy, rather than solely for the sake of your partner,” she told Bored Panda. “Trust yourself and your instincts as you navigate the complexities of love and relocation.”
If you’d like to hear more wise words from Gabriela about this topic or anything else expat related, be sure to visither site!
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Short answer: It didn’t go that great. I met my husband online 13 years ago. I was in the US and he was in London. He flew over to visit a few times before we were married, however, our marriage itself was a bit rushed due to the timelines available in the fiance visa. A few days after our marriage, I came across a ton of gay p**n. That was surprising, to say the least. We’re still together, but I have a lot of insecurities (like, if he’s into men, do I remind him of a man?) and we have virtually no sex life. Another surprise was his hygiene. When he visited me previously, we spent a lot of time together and we’d take showers together and brush our teeth together, things like that. It didn’t occur to me that without my own promptings, he wouldn’t shower often. So, all in all. Gay husband who doesn’t shower often. I still love him, and he loves me, but.. things aren’t so great :(
I moved from europe to canada to be with my girl. We’d been doing the long distance thing for two years. We got married here and spent two good years together here. We’re divorced now. I stayed in the city. I’d made a good group of friends, got a decent job, and love the city. Don’t plan on leaving. I don’t blame the failure of the marriage on the “internet” aspect, but it is a definite factor. When you meet online there is a lot more mystery, excitement, and longing that is not there with a person you meet in real life. It all builds up til you get to spend a few days together, and those days are perfect because you’re totally disconnected from reality. You have time off work, you’re not dealing with anything. You’re in a love cocoon. You go home, and you miss each other so terribly, you feel like this is really it, this is nothing like you’ve felt before. You’ve found love and you live for those times you can be together. You want to be together. You want to get married and live in the same country. You move and you’re finally together and it’s magical. For a while. Then reality sets in. You don’t get to spend all of your time together being in that love cocoon anymore. You have to go to work, sit in traffic, deal with s****y neighbors, and all the other unpleasantries of real life. You start to vent to each other, you get in your first fight, you start to see each others flaws. You come to realize that maybe this isn’t the magical love story you saw in the movies. This is just a regular relationship. You just spent a year or two in fantasy land where everything is perfect, and now this reality-relationship seems dull. You feel cheated. Had you met your partner in your hometown, you would have found each others flaws after three months of dating, not two years and marriage. In short… IT’S A TARP. I don’t regret anything, honestly. But I do see people going through the exact same motions I went through, and it just stings a bit because you know what’s most likely going to happen to them.
My mom met her husband online. He’s a 26 year old scammer from Ghana, and tried to scan her on a dating site. She called him out on it, he tried it again, repeat vicious cycle and they talked online long distance for about a year, and then she up and moved to Ghana. Lied to every single one of us about why she was going and stayed there for 2 years.They’re still married and whatever, they’re happy now, even though in the past she turned him into the embassy as a fraud when he tried to marry another wife. She’s back in the states trying to get her life together after losing literally everything marrying this man, and I’ll keep doing whatever I have to do to keep him out.
A friend’s father did this. He moved to England, married the lady, lived for awhile and then died. Overall, I guess it was a success.
I moved from the US to Canada. We were friends for about a year before deciding to try a long distance relationship. Fast forward a year(ish) we were married. It’s nearly two years later, I’m fairly close to becoming a permanent resident. Things are going quite well.Easily one of the better decisions I’ve made in life.
Well It wasn’t another country. But it was 900 miles away. I met my boyfriend on omegle my senior year of high school, we hit it off and I seven months later I moved away from the only place I’ve ever known to be with him. It’s been rough, I wasn’t ready financially. And I wasn’t ready emotionally to be away from all of my friends and family. Things are great with my boyfriend, but with him being all i have here, its tough.
My parents met on a bus when my mom was a mature scout seeing the sights of north america - she needed a hotel room and shared one with the nicest-looking guy on the bus, who ended up visiting her when he went backpacking through Europe. I was born, and a few days after my dad went back to the States because of a death in the family, and my mom followed him home. They are not together any longer, a clash of sy communication skills, cultural misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations did it.When the s**t hit the fan: My mom was stubborn & depressed enough to drag my dads as through 11 years of marriage before he gave up and left us for a bipolar f**k-buddy at work, and my mom dragged me, 11, back to her homeland, fully expecting preteen-me to welcome the new place as home and that there would be no issues leaving all my friends behind for some s*y, rainy tight-knit village in a country on another continent with a language I could barely speak and a culture I had little love for, while becoming both physically and emotionally removed from my dad and his family (the side of the family I take after, inside and out).I’ve carved out a life here in the 20 years since, but it still doesn’t feel more or less like home than any other corner of the planet. (see 3rd culture kids)PS: the world is in no way ready to legally deal with the bi-national results of such marriages, even though the global village has been a thing for generations now. They should really make a pamphlet for kids who have to deal with this, like “How to handle taxes in two countries”, “Inheriting overseas” and “1001 things to do in planes, trains and automobiles”.
I’m british. I fell in love online with a canadian girl in 2001, we had 7 years of happy marriage together living in the UK, and a wonderful son. Marriage is over now though and she expects financial support. Wherever you live, one set of grandparents is always excluded from seeing their grandkid, and most vacations have to be spent visiting family. We all live in Canada now.
I had this penpal who I always kept in contact with. It was always platonic seeing how we were both dudes, which I guess is sort of odd to begin with. How many guys do you know who have pen pals with other guys from foreign countries? Anyway, he sends me a message one day that is really suggestive and clearly sexual in nature. I obviously freak out about it and tell him to basically f- off because I am not gay. Then it turns out this dude I am talking to is actually a woman, and a ridiculously hot one at that!! Having cut off all internet ties with her I immediately head over to europe and get into some crazy antics with my friends while I searched her out. Ended up finding her and we fell in love immediately. She even decided to come back overseas with me and begin school at the same university!
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I moved to Democratic People’s Republic of Korea from the bourgeois, decadent, capitalist United States and I have never been happier!Under the benevolent guidance of the Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il, may his memory always live, and now under the Outstanding Leader Kim Jong-Un, I have seen Best Korea move even farther in the direction of advancement and toward the full realization of Juche idea, and I would never want to leave, even if they would let me.We always get enough to eat, here, we can speak our minds freely, and there is plenty and prosperity for all! North Korea is Best Korea!My wife is not at all sick because in DPRK, we get all the best medical treatment! And my children are not starving.
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