It’s no secret that not everyone is equally excited about the possibility of becoming a parent; that’s whya growing numberof people reportedly choose to remainchild-free.To some, that’s not an easy decision to make—even those who want to be child-free might have certaindoubtsor reasons not to—but others seem to enjoy the benefits of life with no kids, seeing close to no disadvantages of such an arrangement.Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit were recently asked to share what their life was like without children. User ‘xtzq11’, also known simply as Benjamin, addressed the child-free married couples in the community and quite a few were willing to describe their child-free experience.If you’re curious about what they had to say, scroll down to find their stories on the list below, where you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with a psychotherapist, consultant, and writer,Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on being child-free.This post may includeaffiliate links.
It’s no secret that not everyone is equally excited about the possibility of becoming a parent; that’s whya growing numberof people reportedly choose to remainchild-free.
To some, that’s not an easy decision to make—even those who want to be child-free might have certaindoubtsor reasons not to—but others seem to enjoy the benefits of life with no kids, seeing close to no disadvantages of such an arrangement.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit were recently asked to share what their life was like without children. User ‘xtzq11’, also known simply as Benjamin, addressed the child-free married couples in the community and quite a few were willing to describe their child-free experience.
If you’re curious about what they had to say, scroll down to find their stories on the list below, where you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with a psychotherapist, consultant, and writer,Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on being child-free.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
My wife has a small army of nieces and nephews. So we just rent kids whenever we want one.
A lot of people on here have mentioned having access to more materialistic things like more money, travel, house/s etc. but I think it’s also important to mention that being child-free gives you time to be selfless towards others in society rather than just inside your own four walls.There is so much emotional and physical energy available for volunteer work, caring for abandoned members in society, and running and participating in sports and social groups that it really becomes super emotionally fulfilling and the complete opposite of being lonely both for yourself and the people you’re spending time with.
We are the age (71m &70f) when most would have grandchildren, would want to be near them, be there for the holidays and birthdays. But instead we are just entering our third year of vagabonding around the world, footloose and fancy free. No responsibilities and no worries. Life has been good from the get-go, but now it’s never been better!
According to Kaytee Gillis, there are many reasons people decide to be child-free, from personal freedom, career aspirations, and financial stability to concerns about overpopulation or environmental impact, and a desire to focus on personal fulfillment or relationships other than parenthood.
“It’s important to note that the decision to be childfree is deeply personal and valid, and individuals should be supported in making choices that align with their values and life goals,” she said in an interview withBored Panda.
Quiet. We both grew up in loud, toxic households. None of that bs in our house.
Been married 32 years, visited 110 countries, lived in 7, semi retired with 3 dogs, paid off house and 2 rental properties, I’d say life is good.
“Doubts about being childfree can arise from societal expectations, family pressure, fear of regret later in life, or concerns about loneliness in old age,” the expert continued, pointing out that for many, the cons of remaining child-free include societal stigma, potential loneliness if social circles revolve around parenting, and navigating familial or cultural expectations.The pros, on the other hand, often involve greater flexibility, more disposable income, and the ability to prioritize personal goals and interests.
“Doubts about being childfree can arise from societal expectations, family pressure, fear of regret later in life, or concerns about loneliness in old age,” the expert continued, pointing out that for many, the cons of remaining child-free include societal stigma, potential loneliness if social circles revolve around parenting, and navigating familial or cultural expectations.
The pros, on the other hand, often involve greater flexibility, more disposable income, and the ability to prioritize personal goals and interests.
Quiet when we want. Loud when we want. Late when we want. Early when we want.Whatever we want, whenever we want, assuming our cats get their scheduled meals.Edit: we have auto feeders on a schedule, they just want their morning and night little wet food meals.Thanks for the cake day wishes!
twirls like Julie Andrews on an alpine mountain top on a clear and sunny day.
“Some individuals find it difficult to understand people’s decision to be childfree due to deeply ingrained cultural norms that equate parenthood with fulfillment and success. There may also be misconceptions about the reasons behind the decision, such as assuming childfree individuals are selfish or lacking nurturing qualities,” Gillis added.
Well, I’m not arguing with anyone to brush their teeth or do homework. There has not been a single tear shed today. Definitely not a single scream. My white couch is looking immaculate, I’m researching snorkeling tours for our next vacation and I had a bagel for dinner, because why not?Although I do have to say, one of the dogs threw up. It’s really ruined the whole day.
Sometimes I just feel really unfulfilled, like I haven’t done anything worthwhile with my life.Lol jk it’s the best, I can do anything I set my mind to because I don’t have to spend all of my time, energy, and money on anything I don’t want.
Life is life. There are good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But I imagine there is a lot less stress in our days than there would have been if we had children. We don’t regret, don’t feel like we’re missing out, 8 years in we still don’t want kids. Life is just life.
According to Kaytee Gillis, the number of people openly discussing and choosing to be childfree has seemingly been on the rise over the recent years. “This could be attributed to greater societal acceptance of diverse life choices, increased awareness of alternative lifestyles through media and social platforms, and a growing understanding of the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood,” she said.“In the past, young people—especially women—were unable to make this decision for fear of ridicule and even social ostracization. Today, many are able to make this decision. It may look like more people are making this decision now, but I believe many of our grandparents or those who lived earlier wanted to make this decision but were unable.”
According to Kaytee Gillis, the number of people openly discussing and choosing to be childfree has seemingly been on the rise over the recent years. “This could be attributed to greater societal acceptance of diverse life choices, increased awareness of alternative lifestyles through media and social platforms, and a growing understanding of the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood,” she said.
“In the past, young people—especially women—were unable to make this decision for fear of ridicule and even social ostracization. Today, many are able to make this decision. It may look like more people are making this decision now, but I believe many of our grandparents or those who lived earlier wanted to make this decision but were unable.”
It is wonderful. I can sleep and nap when I want, I don’t need to cut back on my hobbies, I can sleep and nap when I want, all of our extra money goes towards fun and savings, AND, I can sleep and nap when I want.
As an unwed, childless woman - I am so grateful for my choices. Posting now at 01:49 Thursday morning whilst watching whatever I chose. I spent 2 hours today w 2 friends and both of their 2 year olds and it just reaffirmed my choice. Hearing them complain about their S/Os as well… hard pass to all of that. Y’all can do it.
Well unfortunately the big thing holding us back right now is that we can barely afford to house and feed ourselves. Everyone says “no one can REALLY afford kids” to which I say “okay but if we had kids right now we would starve and die.“So…not great.
Well, my husband decided that cheating on me was a good idea. And now wants an open relationship. So… can just say I’m glad we didn’t have kids. That would be a much messier divorce.
My sister is 42 and her partner is 46, neither have kids. They’ve retired, moved to Thailand and are enjoying life. This has inspired me to not have kids.
Sometimes we get up at sunrise to go surf and eat breakfast on the beach. Sometimes we stay in bed till the last minute before work. Everyday is mainly doing what we feel like doing which creates a very happy life.
Just got back from a 3 week trip to Europe. And went to Peru for thanksgiving last year.All for about half of what my best friend spent on childcare last year.
No complaints. Disposable income. Free time. Travel whenever.
I can’t have kids. Some people just can’t. But I love kids, and try to stay active in my niece and nephews lives. I teach kids during volunteer stuff. And I love tweens and teens especially they’re loads of fun and curious and learning all the time.Life is easier without kids. I do things differently than my sister’s do for sure. But I also think people who avoid kids entirely are missing out. There are lots of kids who could use a caring adult in their lives. I can’t imagine my life without Any kids involved. I just didn’t birth them myself. But I still love them and care about them.
My wife (48f) and I (53m) absolutely love it. All of our siblings have kids and they all are their own version of miserable and broke.We haven’t regretted our decision for a second.
I’d say life is pretty f*****g good. I’m retiring in 5-8 years, which is almost 2 decades ahead of most of my peers.
DINKWP here. Its JOYUS! Have the pets. They are spoiled rotten and eat like royality. We dont travel much but we go on lots of dates and cook fabulous meals at home. We love to experiment with new recipes and dont have to worry about “if the kids will eat it”.
It’s wonderful. We travel whenever we want, we have time to spend together and time spent doing other things that interest each other. Money is easier. We rarely argue. We don’t resent each other as I see in so many of my friends marriages. We are well rested and enjoy our lives. Chef recommends.
Just back from a trip to Europe last month. We’re having our bathroom remodeled now that we’re home. We’re both contributing the max to retirement accounts, easy peasy. We literally never fight about money or chores.At the moment, the dog and cat are sleeping on the sofa next to us while my wife studies for a local community college course she’s taking for fun and I watch cooking YouTube.
Well I just picked up my husbands wet towel off the bed, yet again, so I still feel like I have a child sometimes despite not giving birth to any.
…About to install gorgeous off-white wool carpet in the bedrooms without a care in the world. Also flying across the world next week on three days notice for work/fun. That pretty much sums it up!
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Right now? Pretty sad. I really don’t want anything in this life but to have kids and take care of my family and my home. But we can’t afford it. I don’t think I will ever not be sad about it.
Peaceful.We watch what we want when we want, eat what we want when we want, sleep when we want, don’t have to worry about getting back home at a certain time or making sure the other isn’t too wore out cuz the only other to care about is an adult responsible for their self. We can speak/say what we want when we want, and also have sex where we want when we want in our own apartment. on sick days I only have to take care of myself, I don’t have anyone else to clean up after or teach to take care of themselves, I get to eat all the candy and ice cream I buy I don’t have to sneak my treats that I don’t want to share. I don’t have to hide in the bathroom or a pantry when I just need some time to myself I simply tell my husband I would like some alone time and he leaves me alone. I have time to focus on my hobbies such as reading and writing and hiking.It’s the been the best part of my life so far I’m glad I stuck around.
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We still have our struggles with money, work, and so forth. It’s not the care-free, rich utopia some child-free folks claim to live in. But I can’t imagine it would be easier if we had to support kids on top of it. Neither of us can cut back on our jobs to parent or magically grow more money to afford kids. Overall I’m happy with our lives but I do wonder sometimes what it would be like if we had kids. I’m sure they would be nice people.But I also don’t see what other options we realistically had. We both worked in the arts, and couldn’t slow down our careers to dedicate the time required to it and also pay our bills. I think we have more comfort in our lives and more opportunities than we would have had otherwise. But there’s also no way to see what things would have been like on a different timeline. Either way it’s important to be grateful for the good things you have. Life is hard, either way. Adding kids seems to make it much harder, and so we didn’t. That’s not to say it isn’t worth it for people who did, that’s just how our path worked out.
The only downside is that since people know me as the one with lots of disposable income, I became an emergency ATM.
In the past 4 years we’ve lived in Tokyo, Vilnius, and I’m writing this from Barcelona where we are looking at apartments. Another DINK couple is moving in with us so we can afford a penthouse with a view. My partner is making a video game and I am pursuing my pilot license in between blacksmithing and stone carving. We’re active in the bdsm community. Life is…fun, if pressed to use a single adjective.
My biggest fear about this is that at old age, if I’ve no kids and the rest of my family is distant or passed away, my whole identity would practically be attached to my spouse. When my spouse dies, I’ll have no one left close to me. Scary stuff.
Great! We can do whatever we want, whenever we want, more or less. We’re thrilled with our choices.We don’t have the tensions that we see in our friends / families with young kids, but we get to enjoy the benefits of rich lives as aunts/uncles.We also don’t fight, which seems rare, but rarer still in exhausted parents. Not to say we don’t discuss/debate/argue, but it’s not heightened and we communicate without the cloud of emotion that exhaustion can bring.We do, however, get sick every f*****g time they bring their snotty kids to events. 🙄.
Well, we just spent our day on the couch cuddling the cat and playing Baldur’s Gate so.. Pretty f*****g great tbh.
We are in our late 30s, married 11 years. We have very little stress compared to others our age who did have kids. I took 3 years off work for health reasons, and I could never have done that with kids. It’s a quiet life, and we do what we want when we want. One of the big perks is that when I get sick, I can focus on getting better instead of tending to a demanding mini-me.
I’m getting married next week, me and my partner have been back and forth for a while and we’ve come to the realization that we probably don’t want kids. This world kinda sucks to bring new life in to, they’re expensive and we really like our lives now.
Honestly, it’s great. My husband and I both discussed early on in the relationship that we didn’t want kids, and we haven’t changed our minds. This may be a weird analogy, but you know those dreams you have where you realize you haven’t been going to a class all semester, and then you wake up and have an overwhelming feeling of relief? That’s kind of what it feels like lol.I know myself pretty well, and there are things that I’m just not willing to give up for a child. People may think it’s selfish, but I would rather not have kids than 1) give up doing the things I love and 2) potentially being a s****y parent because I’m unhappy. I also don’t think you should find happiness in your kids and don’t believe that “once you have a kid you’ll realize the other things aren’t that important after all,” though on the other end I don’t think that just because you have kids you can’t have it all. Plenty of people manage to juggle both, I’m just not willing to take that risk. It’s unavoidable that your life and priorities change when you have a child, or it should be anyway, and I like my life the way it is and don’t want to take time away from my passions onto something else that needs 24/7 attention.
Many days it’s great. Some days it’s very lonely.Without a lot of responsibilities it’s fairly easy to just wing most things.
I’m at a Third Eye Blind concert at Red Rocks tonight, life is good.
Not kid free, but all of mine are adults now.It’s glorious! We have money! We don’t have to save up for renovations, weekend getaways, toys, etc. We bought a hottub and have constantly been renovating since our youngest graduated in 2021. I don’t regret having my boys, but I do think about where we’d be financially if we’d been kid free. I mean, we’re very comfortable now, a mere three years into being empty nesters. I didn’t realize just how much we spent on them until we weren’t handing out lunch money, school fees, sports fees, and buying school supplies, clothes, and groceries! It was a LOT.
If I had had kids I know I would’ve still been happy but (big BUT) I am soooo content with my child free life. Gigs on the weekends, working in my art studio, lay ins, spontaneous trips.
Regretful, and its gonna get worse as time goes on.
Quiet.Clean house.I can do whatever I want on a given day with no obligations.Building on the above: I have so much time to develop my hobbies: fitness, reading, woodworking, baking, gilding, other random projects.So much disposable income.We don’t have that much laundry to do.Going out somewhere is not a big event. (This can mean anything from “going to the grocery store” to “hey let’s drive to another part of the country and spend the night”.)Overall I like that my life is about me (and my partner) and I don’t suddenly have to put another person in the #1 spot. As in: I don’t have to sacrifice mental or physical health to care for another being. I’m sure most parents find balance eventually, or even like putting someone else first… But I like putting me first. I like my life and my hobbies and don’t have an urge to change any of that.
We spend way to much time on work, go out to eat, do fun outings with friends, and occasionally wonder if we are making a terrible mistake. We took a very long time to get financially stable. Then bought a house, then I lost my job, so we are still in pretty much the same place we were 10 years ago.
My wife and I constantly have people guess that we’re much younger than we are.Less stress and more.time to take care of yourself will do that.In terms of our lives in particular. They’re very full. Lots of time with friends and family and we both have. A lot of hobbies that keep us busy.
Its glorious! All the kitty snuggles. All the support for each others joys.
Great. We go where we want, when we want, cook whatever we want. Have tons of free time and can travel anywhere in the world. We save a lot of money on childcare bills.
It’s incredible, honestly. We both make good money, we’re in a soccer league together, I’m a musician and play in three different ensembles, we travel, have two cats, play video games together…yeah, wouldn’t give any of it up for kids.
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