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This will sound a bit dark, but it’s ultimately not: confronting my abusive parent. I’m 50 and I finally did it a few months ago. I no longer have a relationship with that parent, and doing it was very hard, very scary, and very rough. But as soon as I did it, I felt like an immense weight had been lifted from me. I had spent most of my adult life pretending to have a normal relationship with someone who physically and emotionally abused me throughout my childhood. It took years of therapy for me to even grasp how deeply that affected me or how much it cost me to keep it up. I just feel so free. I wish I had done this the second I was out the door of their house, but this will do.
Losing weight. Went from about 225 down to 165 over the course of 2020 (took the opportunity to work on myself) and I feel better than I have in years. It was hard work, but I’ve managed to keep off for the past year, so I’m hoping I can keep this going!
Working 4 days per week (a 32 hour work week). Seriously, we should all be doing it. Quality of life is 1000x better.
Bored Pandagot in touch with the netizen who asked this question to the internet and they were kind enough to share a little about it. Firstly, we wanted to know what sparked their curiosity to hear about other’s “quality of life” improvements.
Not my life but my grandfather’s. Literally 2 weeks ago, he began swelling in his legs and feet. He was very tired, out of breath, literally in the worst state I’ve ever seen him in. I begged him to go to the ER. He refused 3 times before he caved in and let me take him. After an echocardiogram and about 10 more tests, it was determined that he was in heart failure with his heart only pumping at 15% and heart rate at 30 bpm. A pacemaker and defibrillator were installed in his chest and he was put on a routine of Lasix. He was discharged last Saturday and it’s like having the grandpa from my childhood back. Besides a sore shoulder from surgery, he is doing so great. He is going for walks again, sitting outside and feeding the squirrels and birds, spending time with my children and going for rides around the farm in his golf cart. I’m so thankful for the technology that will potentially give us a few more years together and seeing his quality of life improve in such a short amount of time. He is 77 years old. Survived Vietnam, 2 gunshot wounds and 3 heart attacks. He said he would never have a pacemaker. Said he wouldn’t live dependent on technology. Now he wishes he would have had the surgery 10 years ago. Big shoutout to Emory for saving my pop.
Pets.My 2 cats have been amazing for my mental health.
Leaving the southern Baptist church. Immediately improved all aspects of my life.
I started thinking of cleaning as “resetting” an area. After I cook I have to “reset” the kitchen. The little shift in perspective made me a much more neat person.
I stopped putting other people and their needs before my own well-being and sanity. Pouring from an empty pitcher is exhausting and when I finally put myself first I felt free.
Everybody here writes something amazing, but the first thing I thought of was my dishwasher…
We also wanted to know if they had any favorites. “I really resonated with this comment from the thread. One of them said, “let people go.” This has helped me more than anything in life. I held onto every friendship, good and bad. Thetoxic friendshipsheld me down in life. When I removed those people, life magically got better. But my tip to the readers would be to enjoy every moment they can,” they shared with Bored Panda.
Cutting off a toxic friend. After having cut off said friend I felt that I could finally breathe without the stress of setting them off or getting into fights with them. I don’t regret my decision at all.
Stopped watching and consuming National News. I was REALLY into the tribalism and looking for all the ammo I could find. And here’s the deal, they provide people like me with b******t content 24/7! Walked away and have become such a better person!
Finally setting my pride aside and working up the courage to talk to my doctor about my symptoms of depression. Got put on a medication to try and have adjusted the dose. It’s been like night and day. I never knew being miserable all the time wasn’t normal. My relationships have improved as well because I don’t have crazy mood swings.
Getting out of debt. Debt just feels like a prison.
Retiring and getting a dog. He is a rescue dog and has lots of physical and emotional issues. He is terrified of people and animals so I need to be calm to help him stay calm. That’s given me a reason to not let life bother me too much.
Reading. Luckily I did start reading early on - mostly in my early 20s - I’m 27 now. I’ve read so many books which have given me much more insight to the world and my own views, especially my place in the universe. I mostly read biology books, but enjoy any realm of evidence-based science and some fiction here and there. Even the entire Bible 2 years ago. If anyone reads this, read! It’s wonderful to know our minds can see lines and dots on paper and be able decipher it! Just that concept alone makes me want to read.
Exercise. I tried so hard to be into it for so long. I’d get on a program or get into a routine and it never lasted more than a month or so. When lockdown hit I figured I’d give it another try since I couldn’t go out. Best. Decision. Ever. I lost 50 pounds, gained so much stamina, look the best I’ve ever looked in my life, and just generally feel so much better. I wish I had gone harder earlier, I’d be so much better off.
Hysterectomy. I spent most of two decades extremely sick and miserable. Best thing I ever did solely for my own self.
Working from home.
Trying to get 8 hours of good sleep every night.
Getting diagnosed with ADHD and getting treatment. I legit spent over 25 years of my life thinking a 24/7/365 rave going on in my head with over 2000 people screaming and yelling different things at me and that one song i can never find the source of to turn it off was normal and not understanding why I found things like saying “I’m going to go do :insert chore here:” and then DOING THEM IMMEDIATELY so hard. Turns out I don’t have to sit on the couch for 6 hours trying to convince myself that this is the minute in which I’ll go put my cup in the dishwasher and no, emptying the trashcan doesn’t take half an hour it takes two minutes… 😐.
Moving out of a dark basement apartment that I lived in for far too many years.Living with windows and natural light is a huge change in mental health.
Quitting smoking. Better health, and I was in NYC at the time and it was $13 or $14 a pack then. The savings was like getting a raise at work. It then led to getting into fitness, and stopping being a regular at bars. That too was expensive. I got an actual raise and promotion a few months later too.
Drinking way more water.
Moving out of the country and leaving everyone and everything behind. It’s been very quiet and peaceful and I’ve never felt better.
Divorce. I can’t recommend it but I am happier than I have ever been.
9,000 steps a day. Throw in audiobooks and I’m improving mind and body.
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Saving up money. Once I had 6 months expenses saved, the pressure goes down so much. I can make good decisions instead of desperate ones. I don’t get stressed about losing my job. I can schedule my bills every month without worrying about balances. A car repair bill doesn’t faze me anymore like a wrench in the monthly cash flow. Life’s just easier with money behind.
Cooking for myself, rather than relying on microwave meals.Eating better, healthier and cheaper at the same time/.
Having my teeth fixed.
Running out of f***s to give with situations I had stressed about for decades. It’s truly amazing.
Switched to a job where I have a consistent, balanced schedule. Has let me exercise again, socialize more and spend time on other hobbies.
Therapy. I was always that person that was like “ahh i dont need it, there are people who are way worse than me”… You, yeah you. YES. You DO need therapy, and you deserve to get the help you need.
Getting sober from alcohol. I was drinking so much my body hurt 24/7. I never get tired of not feeling like garbage. Edit: thank you for the kind words everyone! /r/StopDrinking is a fantastic resource and community for anyone interested is stopping or cutting back on alcohol. There’s lots of programs as well. I have had success with Sober Faction which is searchable on Facebook but it’s likely not for everyone. SMART is another non theistic program. No matter what your goal, there is support out there for you. IWNDWYT, Heal Thyself, Hail Thyself.
Buying an electric tooth brush! Haven’t gotten a new cavity since, and my dentist said I shrunk the start of one.
Lasik. My life is 10 times better without glasses. The surgery itself scared the s**t out of me, but I am so glad I did it.
Bidet and squatty potty.Pooping away from home makes me feel like a barbarian now though.
Taking a 30 minute walk first thing every single morning.
Actually listening instead of waiting for your turn to speak.You understand so much more, and people have so many nice things to say about you when you just listen.
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Meditation. The hardest thing you will ever do is sit still and have a quiet mind.
Realizing that not everyone is judging me.
Playing stupid.I used to (was raised to) think that I had to have all the answers, all the time. When I started working my reviews frequently mentioned “time management” as an area I needed to improve in because I was so busy giving other people the answers they needed (sometimes to simple questions) that I neglected my own work. A senior coworker told me one day, “it’s not your job to have all the answers. You only need to have the answers you need to get your work done. It’s okay to play stupid, don’t do their work for them.”.
Optimism, I stopped recently mopping over everything wrong with my life and focused on the positives, highly recommend. Thanks to my boyfriend for me helping realize this!
I had my cataracts removed.I requested that the implants give me monovision, which means that one eye is for distance and the other for reading. My overall vision is corrected to 20/30.This means that I can legally drive without glasses, and don’t need glasses to read. I see better than I have since I was a child.
Got a septoplasty.At some point in high school I started getting sick…a lot. Always just a cold…NBD right? Except it would floor me for 1-2 weeks. I’d be in bed most of the time. Then good for a week and at it again.Started judo in college which helped but only somewhat. Finally started dating a girl who was premed. She does some googling and makes me a doctor’s appointment. My parents took me around initially but doctors were no help.We come in and explain the situation. Mind you I hadn’t been to a doctor in over 10 years at that point. He is super condescending when I tell him I don’t know anything, she’s premed. Goes ok, let’s have a look “doctor” (to her). Takes one look in my nose and says “oh oh.” Left nostril at 85% open, right at <10%. According to him allergens and junk would build up while I was sick and be waiting the second my immune system was even a little weak.So the guy offers me surgery or a nasal steroid spray. I opt for the latter since my immigrant mentality considered doctors and treatment an absolute last resort. 6 months of bliss as long as I spray religiously. Got tired of what happened if I missed a spray and got the surgery.I don’t think I got sick once the first three years. First time I caught a cold I was floored. Is this what people experienced? I could handle this! Definitely not how I thought a cold is supposed to feel.
I stopped caring about my job. I still go every day and I’m good at it… but I don’t care anymore. Other things interest me now. 13 years of obsessing over work… what a waste.
Having my own place.
Spinach. Seriously. Eat more spinach. Put it on your sandwich, put it in a smoothie, eat a salad, just find a way.
Focusing on things I actually have control over, as in my actions and choices, versus what others “should” do.
Consciously practicing empathy. It’s crazy how much lighter you can feel when you’re not center stage. I learned that most things have very little to do with me and that’s a huge burden off of my shoulders.
I stopped giving family money. I was always broke. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. Until I sat down and broke down my spending. I was giving $300-500 a month to family.Once I stopped I was able to pay my bills easily and never over drafted.
Decluttering. When I moved into a house from an apartment I accumulated so much stuff because I had the space. Over two years my family and I were properly lived in but found that we just had a ton of stuff (clothes, entertainment, utensils, furniture, etc) that we just did not need. Currently cleaning out all of that stuff and it feels so good to have a plan.
Got my tonsils removed at 26 years old. I suffered from severe soar throats as long as I can remember so bad I would always have losenges and cloroseptic spray within arms reach. On top of that I had terrible tonsil stones. If you looked in my mouth my tonsils looked like someone took a razor blade and slashed them repeatedly. My surgery didn’t even go well, it was successful obviously but they cauterize those spots when the tonsils come out and the dumb f*s gave me percs in pill form well low and behold a week and half in it ripped through the wound and I had to go back under. All in all 4 and a half weeks recovering. It was some of the most painful st of my life I lost like 25lbs bc I couldn’t eat. All that said I’d do it again tomorrow. It’s been almost 5 years and I haven’t had a sore throat once, my life is vastly improved bc of it.
A few things:-i try to express gratitude as often as possible, to myself and others-stretch 2-3 minutes before bed every night-replace things like “i’m sorry i’m late” with “thank you for waiting for me/for your patience”-create and hold firm boundaries with my loved ones and my work-journal or do something else that makes me feel present in my body-drink more water-and something silly, whenever i get mad at someone for doing something like cutting me off in traffic i aggressively yell stuff like “i hope you’re having a good day and drive safely,” so i still get that anger and frustration out while not harboring unnecessary ill will.
Apologizing to someone I needed to apologize to. I had been in depressive episodes for literally 4 months straight, and I knew it was the right thing to do. After apologizing, I cried a bit than went to sleep. Every day after that I’ve been able to experience real joy and happiness again :)The apology and forgiveness on their part lead to forgiveness of myself on my part, and I was finally free. Greatest moment of my life right there.
Taking magnesium supplement 3 days before I start my cycle, completely takes away the pain from cramps and I used to be bed ridden in pain for two days every-time.
The right medication for my intrusive thoughts from OCD. They started at 3, I didn’t get the right treatment until I was 28.
Going to trade school. Worked in a school district for 7 years doing attendance work and was miserable. Loved working with the kids and my coworkers, but admin clearly didn’t care and expected us to solve institutional issues with no budget, no training, no plan. Then COVID hit and all those problems exploded even more. I had some technical background from working theaters, so I went to trade school for low voltage electronics and a friend helped me get my apprenticeship at an Audio/Video company. Been there for about 7 months and I feel like I’m in the career I always should have been in. Still get to work with the kids and coworkers because I stage manage the high school theater, but now I’m better at that and I don’t feel miserable getting up for work every day.
Quitting my day job and going freelance. More free time and more money. After about a year I even was working for old company on a regular basis for nearly triple the rate.
Planting a vegetable garden.
Hip replacement. Should have done it before I retired from the Army. Oh well. It WAY improved my bowling average.
Weightlifting. I wish I had started weightlifting so much earlier. I look better, feel better and it’s done wonders for my mental health.
Drinking seltzer water while drinking beer. Your brain thinks it’s alcoholic because it comes in a can and it’s carbonated, so you’ll pound those suckers right down between beers. Keeps you hydrated, and I’ve never had a hangover while doing this.
Wearing earplugs in everyday life. I can still hear people talking to me, but my misophonia isn’t triggered so much, and I don’t get sensory overload anymore, either.
Taking iron supplements (I’m a vegetarian).
A meal subscription. I would spend so much of my week anxious about what to eat, tiptoeing around my partner’s and my pickiness, grocery shopping, and cooking. A weight was lifted when I started using a subscription even just three nights a week.
Finally getting a migraine preventative. I still get migraines but not over half a month of being in pain. 3 times a month is better than 20 days.
Taking 5000 IU of vitamin D3 per day. Have more energy now than I did 15 years ago.
Buying a roomba. Particularly if you have pets.
Bluetooth headphones. No more ripping my head off when I suddenly get up.
Hydrocortisone.I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease where my adrenal glands don’t make cortisol, and basically I was unable to catch my breath for months and my blood pressure was zero and I’d get lightheaded from just standing. Took myself to the hospital where they s**t me up with hydrocortisone and I immediately felt normal.
Using a good face cream every day in the shower. I wish I could tell my pimply teen self about face cream.
Electric blanket.
Spotify. I’ve been using youtube for my music for years and always got annoyed at the ads or music videos eating my cellular.
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