Nobody enjoys being cut off or bumped into, yet these things happen all the time — both to and because of us.Experts saythat such behaviors instigate a self-perpetuating cycle, hampering our productivity, our happiness, and our health along the way.Soincivility is like a virus. Contract the stuff, and there’s a big chance you can spread it without even consciously wanting to.Interested in which of its forms are the most common, Reddit userMaximumHemidriveasked others on the platform to share what people say and do without realizing it’s actually quite hurtful.This post may includeaffiliate links.
Nobody enjoys being cut off or bumped into, yet these things happen all the time — both to and because of us.
Experts saythat such behaviors instigate a self-perpetuating cycle, hampering our productivity, our happiness, and our health along the way.
Soincivility is like a virus. Contract the stuff, and there’s a big chance you can spread it without even consciously wanting to.
Interested in which of its forms are the most common, Reddit userMaximumHemidriveasked others on the platform to share what people say and do without realizing it’s actually quite hurtful.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
If someone declines alcohol, do not insist, and do not ask them why.
LISTENING TO ANYTHING IN PUBLIC WITH YOUR VOLUME ON. This includes TikTok, YouTube, social media, face timing, phone on speaker, music, etc. No one gives a f**k what media you’re consuming. Airports especially seem to attract this in droves like earbuds or headphones don’t exist?? If i can hear your phone you are getting The Glare. Learn to adjust to polite society.
Looking at your phone whilst someone talks to you. Put your phone DOWN and live in the moment that is REAL. Your phone is just a waste of your time 90% of the time! Enjoy a real face to face conversation!.
Why don’t you have kids yet?.
Asking when you’re going to have kids.My fiancée had a hysterotomy a few years ago because reasons. We’re planning to adopt and we’re both fine with it. There’s enough people in this world and we don’t need to make more ourselves. She gets asked a lot when we’re planning to have kids and she replies, completely deadpan, “I’m infertile” and the uncomfortable look on their faces when they don’t know how to respond gives us both great joy. We hope it helps them think twice before asking someone else. I can’t wait to marry that woman.
Giving any sort of unsolicited advice on someone’s physical appearance.
Saying “it was God’s will” when someone you care about dies. So inappropriate yet so many people do it anyway.
“Smile!” Had a coworker that kept telling me to smile and I had to talk to a manager about it. I’m a large rough looking man and apparently my resting staring off into space face offended her. I live with chronic pain, so no, I don’t feel like smiling when I’m not interacting with anyone. I’m not scowling, I’m not mad I’m just not happy.
Being chronically ill and constantly being told “well at least it isn’t cancer”. No but it’s stuff I have to live the rest of my life with. Also “but you look ok”. Crazy how most all of my body is on the inside me.
Stepping off a full escalator and then standing still while looking around. Bro, just take 4-5 steps forward to figure yourself out!.
Commenting on weight in any way - “you’re so skinny” isn’t always a compliment.
Leaving your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle so others cannot pass. It’s inconsiderate and infuriating.
Touch a pregnant woman’s stomach.
“Why are you so quiet?”.
People getting on an elevator before allowing people who are on it to get off.
Approach a disabled person you don’t know to call them brave, inspirational, etc. Especially if you are using them as an example to children. Every single disabled person I have ever met HATES when people do this. It’s calling unnecessary attention to them and a lot of people feel put on the spot, so it’s not a kind or respectful thing to do.Just leave people the f**k alone, they’re not here to be your example or your teachable moment.
Talking loudly while traveling in herds with no spatial awareness. The random scream. Think college freshman packs or middle schoolers at the mall.
People who let their dogs jump up on you. Hey I love dogs but I’m not in the mood of having dirty paws on my nice clean clothes.
“You don’t look autistic"Oh you don’t say?.
Talking to someone about work when they’re eating their lunch on their lunch break.
It amazes me how many people cut each other off mid-sentence. It doesn’t matter how many people are in the conversation, the topic, or nature of it, inevitably someone will cut the other person off mid-sentence.
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Immediately walking up the aisle once the plane lands and not letting those sitting in front of u get out first.
Sharing your own experience before reacting to someone else sharing a story. No matter your intentions behind sharing your own story it will always seem like you are trying to one up someone or make everything about you. I’m not trying to say you can’t or shouldn’t share your story but react and ask a few questions before you do. Show that you care about the other person first.
*why are you so quiet?*Why do you talk so much? See how rude that sounds?.
Commenting on a stranger’s acne. Holy st, doesn’t matter what ‘hack’ or trick or advice you have that you just have to share, the person KNOWS what their skin looks like, has almost certainly tried everything and then some, and is just trying to get through their day. That st hurts from friends and family, let alone some ae customer at your job or d*d at the bar. Just /don’t/.
When someone shares something tough they’re experiencing, saying “Welcome to the club” is really invalidating.
Touching people’s hair without their permission. As a black woman who wears protective styles I get this all the time. I am not a petting zoo.
Rude to do? Cancel plans to attend an activity for the last minute or just not show up to something you’ve RSVP’d for. I understand sometimes people suddenly get sick, their kid gets sick, or they have a last minute work assignment, but I hate the “I changed my mind,” or “I didn’t feel like it” excuses. I actually had a birthday party where everyone I invited decided they’d just not show up, but it was okay because they assumed other people would come. I only invited four people, and nobody came. It was very hurtful and disappointing. Happy birthday to me!.
“You look good for your age.”There are so many ways to compliment someone on aging well, but that is not one of them.
Leaving your highbeams on whenever there’s a car in front of you, whether they’re on the same or opposite side of the road. I know for a lot of people this is obvious, but I was once in front of somebody who would always turn their highs off for oncoming cars and turn them on once said car had passed, even though they were 15 feet behind me and were still shining their highs into my face. I did not know this person, and had not committed some sort of traffic faux pas.
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Random people coming up to me (a smoker) and saying “you know those will k**l you”. Yeah, I know.
“You look tired”.
Commenting on a pregnant woman’s belly size. That goes for both “I can’t even tell you’re pregnant” and “wow you’re so big!”.You have no idea how the mom will feel about your comment.
Complimenting weight loss when the other person has not talked about exercising or dieting. When i was starting medications, i really struggled with making myself eat and lost around 10 pounds. Was really annoying getting reminded all the time.
Saying to a non-native speaker that their english needs improvement or that they don’t speak it well. If it’s true, they already know that.
People used to ask my mom all the time if I was her “real child” cause she’s blonde and I’m brunette lol. So extremely and terribly rude.
I hate compliments like “OH your hair looks so much better now” or “You look so much better now that you’ve lost weight” or “That paint color is so much better than your last one.“Like thanks for letting me know you thought the things before were hideous.
Someone accomplishes something and they respond, “It’s never too late!!” No, dude, just say congrats.
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