Families are built on love and understanding, and most do a pretty good job of raising their kids. For example, in 2023, 70% of American adolescentsratedtheir relationship with their parents as high-quality (at least an 8 out of 10). However, every home has its issues.
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When I tried to talk about my feelings or the things my mom did that hurt or upset me, she just immediately turns to this distraught “I’m such a terrible mother!” And the whole conversation stops being about me, working through my issues, and listening to my emotions because I have to side track to comfort HER.
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To get an opinion from the other side of the barricades, we contactedVicki Broadbent, writer, director, broadcaster, and founder of the award-winning family and lifestyle blogHonest Mum.She has a toddler, tween, and teen of her own, and toldBored Panda, “I think parents, and I’m guilty of this myself, often forget what it’s like to be a teenager, especially as our generations grew up in completely different worlds.“Vicki, author ofMumboss(UK) andThe Working Mom(the US and Canada) said, “The social media pressures apparent now are huge and most teens would rather stay in and socialize online as opposed to being out in the park or at a disco like I did at their age.”
To get an opinion from the other side of the barricades, we contactedVicki Broadbent, writer, director, broadcaster, and founder of the award-winning family and lifestyle blogHonest Mum.
She has a toddler, tween, and teen of her own, and toldBored Panda, “I think parents, and I’m guilty of this myself, often forget what it’s like to be a teenager, especially as our generations grew up in completely different worlds.”
Vicki, author ofMumboss(UK) andThe Working Mom(the US and Canada) said, “The social media pressures apparent now are huge and most teens would rather stay in and socialize online as opposed to being out in the park or at a disco like I did at their age.”
Turning everything into a lecture. if im telling you that something bad happened, i dont always need it turned into a life lesson😐.
Many share her sentiments. There are big debates about what it’s like to be a teenager these days, and technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.For example,among the 69% of U.S. parentsof 13-to-17-year-olds who say being a teenager today is harder than it was two decades ago, 41% blame social media, 26% cite technology in general (other than social media), 16% point to additional societal pressures and expectations, and 15% believe it’s due to the world or country changing in a negative way.
Many share her sentiments. There are big debates about what it’s like to be a teenager these days, and technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.
For example,among the 69% of U.S. parentsof 13-to-17-year-olds who say being a teenager today is harder than it was two decades ago, 41% blame social media, 26% cite technology in general (other than social media), 16% point to additional societal pressures and expectations, and 15% believe it’s due to the world or country changing in a negative way.
Coming into my room a lot and without warning, constantly dragging conversations on to make a point, my mom sometimes tells people personal things about me which is also annoying.
I’m now in my 20s but my mom started doing this whenever I was a teenager and still hasn’t stopped. She’ll say something like “you’re probably going to get mad at me for saying this, but…” and then tell me something unnecessarily rude about my appearance or weight that is entirely unhelpful and uncalled for. I’ve started cutting her off and telling her that maybe she just shouldn’t say it then, but it was a lot harder to stand up to her when I was 14.
“I know I can often be too hard on my teen and tween for being online too much and have to remind myself that the internet is a huge part of their socialization with others, be it playing games or chatting. It’s just important to monitor usage to keep them safe,” Vicki Broadbent ofHonest Mumadded.“Parenting teens can be challenging as you help navigate and support them through hormonal changes, friendship woes and the pressure of exams. It takes empathy and tolerance, rather like raising a toddler! Try not to take teens' rages personally. My greatest advice is to try to access therapy yourself so you can show up as the parent you want to be. By doing the above, you will nurture and grow your bond.”
“I know I can often be too hard on my teen and tween for being online too much and have to remind myself that the internet is a huge part of their socialization with others, be it playing games or chatting. It’s just important to monitor usage to keep them safe,” Vicki Broadbent ofHonest Mumadded.
“Parenting teens can be challenging as you help navigate and support them through hormonal changes, friendship woes and the pressure of exams. It takes empathy and tolerance, rather like raising a toddler! Try not to take teens' rages personally. My greatest advice is to try to access therapy yourself so you can show up as the parent you want to be. By doing the above, you will nurture and grow your bond.”
My mother always offers to help me, but if I let her, she brings up every individual task she’s helped me with the next time she’s upset and tells me I’ve done nothing to deserve her help or her kindness. Now she’s angry that I never accept her help and she doesn’t understand why I never take gifts from people before knowing what’s expected of me in return.
When my parents commented negatively on anything i said or did as their first reaction. It taught me to keep secrets, tell lies and avoid informing them of anything until right before or after it happened.They once wanted me to get a job, so i did. It was full time seasonal and paid well, just 30min drive. Scolded me for not finding something closer. Made me call my manager and apologize for wasting their time and resign. THEN got mad at me for that and made me call back my manager and ask for my job back, within 10min. I was 16 or 17 at the time.Next time i got a job i told them as i was leaving the house to said job.It was really frustrating growing up and always expecting a negative reaction out of the gate.
Fortunately, teensare reportingnotable improvements in their mental and physical health, happiness, and motivation compared to the pandemic period. Currently, 45% say their relationships with immediate family have become much or somewhat better, while 49% report the same for their closest friendships. Additionally, 45% feel more motivated, 42% describe themselves as happier, and 49% believe their physical health has improved. Meanwhile, 36% note progress in their mental health, reflecting a positive shift in overall well-being.
I’m an adult now, but my parents used to have a tendency to say “she should NOT be wearing that” when they’d see a plus sized girl wearing literally any normal piece of clothing. Mini skirt, short dress, crop top, tank top.I’m very thin (due to an eating disorder in High School) and dated girls until I was 24. The 3 major girlfriends I had during that time were all heavier than me, and they’d even say it about them, usually immediately after they’d leave the room. My mom is on the heavier side, so I’m sure it was just self consciousness and lack of confidence on her part, but it drove me f*****g *nuts.*At one point I remember turning to my mom and saying “and what SHOULD she be wearing?” She didn’t have a response.
I work a full 40 hours a week but if I spend my saturday playing video games, its all i do.
“I can’t find that cat WHAT IF SHE ESCAPED?” “I can’t believe you said that, you’re totally going to get bullied” “Are you SURE you know where your classes are? I know you checked twice already, but check again” “Why didn’t you respond to my text fifteen minutes ago? I was about to call the police!” “Don’t go that far up the driveway, someone might kidnap you” “Those pants look baggier on you, have you lost weight? Are you sick? What are you hiding from me?”… guess who just got diagnosed with anxiety at age 20!
Be homophobic (I’m closeted).
Bursting in my room w/o knocking and then leaving the door open afterwards.
Gossiping about me to family members.
Not a teen, but still live with my parents. There’s a lot of little things that get on my nerves but the one thing that I absolutely hate is my mom asks about my day only to immediately start scrolling on her phone completely ignoring me when I tell her. It’s even worse when she randomly starts listening and has no idea what I’m talking about. Worst of all is when I confront her about this she always denys it.Also my parents love to play videos on their phone out loud especially when I’m trying to read or watch something.
Murmuring, banging the door and not talking to me for days instead of telling me what’s wrong.
They talk all the time about how smart I am. As if I were a child prodigy, a Sheldon Cooper. It bothers me because they place too many expectations on me.
Commenting on my weight.
Not a teen, but now that I’m older, a frustration I have is the way they would get annoyed I was doing something imperfectly and then get huffy and take over instead of teaching me the correct way. Despite the fact my mother was an excellent cook, I learned very little about technique or meal planning, cause she would just take over any time I struggled. Might’ve been easier for her in the short term, and it mildly irked me as a kid, but now I feel really stunted in some areas she absolutely could’ve helped me in with some more patience.
My Dad works for a company that makes various snack foods. For some reason they always have a s**t tonne of wafer crackers and they always want me to take them. Wtf am I going to do with 1kg of crackers?Anyone’s parents work for a cheese factory? I got the hook up for wafer crackers.
Telling me I’m angry when I raise my voice but complain they can’t hear me because I’m quiet and mumbly. I can’t help constantly talking in a whisper, but if I speak louder apparently I’m being rude. And now I question if I have anger issues or not because everything I do is me being “angry” according to them.
It’s when parents don’t listen. They compare my life to theirs. They say, “When I was your age, I had it harder.” That doesn’t help.Life now is stressful in new ways. School, friends, and social media are hard to balance. Sometimes, I just need them to listen. I don’t need a lecture or a fix. Just listen and try to understand.Parents, if you’re reading this: we aren’t saying your life was easy. We just want you to see that ours isn’t either. A little kindness goes a long way.
My mother does a lot of stuff I don’t like, but one thing that drives me insane is her and my uncles talking about music.“Music was so much better when we were young! Now they only make stupid songs you can’t even dance to during a party! So glad we were raised on good and artistic music!” And so on.Well since they were children of 80’s and 90’s what could that music be? Queen? Nirvana? Whitney Houston? Britney Spears? Maybe someting less mainstream?Well, dear people, they are talking about Bryan Adams. They want all the music to sound like Bryan Adams. They think that good music ended with the end of Bryan Adams' carrier. They think that Bryan Adams was the last one truly good musican and after that, this world has only ever produced the worst songs imaginable. I don’t know what else to write.They act like listening to Bryan Adams’s songs is this very niche and special thing that “youngsters” just don’t understand, like it’s opera or something.I don’t have anyting against the fact that they like a musician I don’t really like, but they are so damn pretentious about it, while telling me to get off of my “high horse” for listening to music without words. I just like instrumentals. It’s absurd.
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Not a teen, but something my dad said he learned from me when I was a kid was to not compare me (and my siblings) to other people’s kids.Our mom used to always do that, she would constantly say “Why can’t you be more like name?” It bothered me because it wasn’t like she was comparing “bad” kid to good kid. She just had friends whose children were talented in ways that she had hoped we would be (musically, academically, in sports.) We had our own talents and did average in school, but that was still grounds for not being good enough.I felt comfortable telling my dad how hurt I was every time mom said those things. So he said he learned right away to not compare us to others like that (my parents are still married, this all happened under the same household.).
Telling personal information to anyone who gives them 5 minutes of their time.
Interrupting my relaxation time constantly.
Spying on my bank account even though I’m 18 now. I just don’t want her seeing my purchase history.
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I lost both my parents before I was 21, y’all need to start enjoying quality time with them before it’s too late.
Missed call from Mom: 1 minute agoI call Mom back and no answer.
When they make it so that their pain is worse than whatever I have going on. If I have a fever, they have a flu, if i have a headache, they have a headache and a stomachache, if my entire body hurts, theirs wants to make them go into the hospital. My Mother likes to make it about herself all the time and its made me more prone to anger nowadays. I can’t communicate with others because if they somehow do something I don’t like, I just get angry immediately. I know for a fact it’s because of whatever is going on at home because when I don’t have to think about my family, I’m kinder. Such a f****d up family I have.
My mom asks for my opinions and advice and then immediately disregards everything I’ve said to her and does whatever she wants to do anyways.Or claims to want to be “friends now we’re both adults” but then scolds and lectures at every turn.
Commenting on people in a judgemental way when said people aren’t doing any harm.Every time we see a Kia Soul “I hate those cars”.Buddy you’ve never driven one, who gives a s**t? The first time commenting was plenty! .
Offering unsolicited advice for everything.
My father (70) injects politics into literally every discussion… It’s maddening.
Not a teenager or close, but this bugged me as a teenager - and it still bugs me now, because she hasn’t stopped!My mom will make suggestions that aren’t suggestions at all. She’ll first say it in a kind, ambiguous way. When you thank her but say it’s not necessary, she’ll repeat it again in a more insistent tone. If you decline again, it usually becomes an order (for a teenager) or as an adult, she’ll just start martyring herself and making up catastrophes that will happen because I didn’t take her advice. Needless to say, I usually wind up giving in out of frustration.
• politics (never ending gospel of news articles and Facebook posts)• snooping, my parents are huge snoopers, whether it’s in my room, my location, through my things. it drives me insane, I’m 18 and I feel as if I deserve a little bit of privacy, but i cant oppose it because I’m still on their phone bill• make everything, and I mean literally everything the end of the world. idk if it’s because I come from a dramatic household full of loud people, but the theatrics of dramatic parents are insane. the other day i told my mom i was going doordashing and the face she had was like I killed somebody (her argument was that it’s dangerous, understood, but like it did not warrant that reaction at all).
Always cleaning up while I’m working.
When I can’t answer a phone right away. I’m in school or at work, I can’t text or call right away 😭.
Not organizing their stuff, proceed to misplace item, and then complain they can’t find said item. Like gee I dunno put everything in ONE spot every time.
Asking if I’ve eaten every two hours.
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